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satanic goatslayer
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When I noticed that I had, in my haste, forgotten to tie up my shoelaces. As I bent down to fix the problem, a young man, perhaps 20 years of age asked me to direct him to the nearest coffee shop. I told him that he must be a crazy fool if he thought that there was a coffee shop near. Instead I pointed to the ground. He asked me why I was pointing at the ground. I said nothing, opting instead to butterfly swipe him in the throat. His blood colored the ground, almost as if the snow was falling just to act as a canvas for some strange artwork. I smashed his skull in with a hammer and noticed that the blood splatter looked like a badger, or even a weasel for that matter. Truly this was a day of creativity and art appreciation.
I continued on towards my goal - the hardware store. There was an elderly lady struggling to cross the road. She was being overlooked by the motorists, so I decided to help her. This wasn't out of any kindness or concern about her well-being, but rather so I could take her purse. She was standing on the icy sidewalk when I approached her and kicked her legs out from underneath her. She looked like she was trying to convey some message of despair to me, but I had deci-dams in, so I couldn't make out what it was that she was trying to say. I took her purse and went to the store.
The man behind the counter laughed with his cohorts as I walked through the door with the oldie's purse over my shoulder. I told him that it wasn't polite to laugh at people, then picked up a wide tooth sawblade and threw it into his forehead. He doubled over and fell to the ground. I took the opportunity to jump the counter and beat him over the head with the cash register. Not since my childhood had I felt such joy and energy. I sung the song of redemption - Against the Wind - and danced a dance of glee.
Then it dawned on me, I already had a new chain for my saw, as well as some oil. I didn't need to go to the store at all, and now I had to retrace my steps in the cold weather.
Lists.
I continued on towards my goal - the hardware store. There was an elderly lady struggling to cross the road. She was being overlooked by the motorists, so I decided to help her. This wasn't out of any kindness or concern about her well-being, but rather so I could take her purse. She was standing on the icy sidewalk when I approached her and kicked her legs out from underneath her. She looked like she was trying to convey some message of despair to me, but I had deci-dams in, so I couldn't make out what it was that she was trying to say. I took her purse and went to the store.
The man behind the counter laughed with his cohorts as I walked through the door with the oldie's purse over my shoulder. I told him that it wasn't polite to laugh at people, then picked up a wide tooth sawblade and threw it into his forehead. He doubled over and fell to the ground. I took the opportunity to jump the counter and beat him over the head with the cash register. Not since my childhood had I felt such joy and energy. I sung the song of redemption - Against the Wind - and danced a dance of glee.
Then it dawned on me, I already had a new chain for my saw, as well as some oil. I didn't need to go to the store at all, and now I had to retrace my steps in the cold weather.
Lists.
