Relationship advice-

[hardrock]

Yeah I know, asking you mutts is like asking a vegan how to prepare a steak. Anyway-

I have been seeing a woman for a couple months now and I am not happy in our relationship. She is a recovering alcoholic(sober 2+yrs now). She is extremely controlling and moody as fuck. Cute, tight little body, and great in the sack, blah, blah. I've been trying to stick it out and make things work. until now-

Enter ex girlfriend. I dated this woman for 2 1/2 years and I would call her the love of my life. I absolutely adore her. We broke up last spring and became friends again over the summer. That fell apart when I realized she didn't feel the same. Or so I thought. She is very stubborn and was holding a grudge.

We started texting recently and she invited me over for a beer last night for her birthday. I didn't wanna get my hopes up too much, but it seemed like we picked up right where we left off. Couldn't have gone any better. No sex, just talking and a few kisses. Could have I'm sure, but I'm not sure how I feel about it yet.

Here's the pickle I'm in.

I can't be with current girl no matter what. That fish is dead in the water. My ex and I split because I was taking her for granted and partying too much. Since then I bought a house and moved away from the corrosive environment I was in and stopped drinking. I will drink again, but will never go back to that lifestyle i was living.

It seems we have flip flopped. She drinks a lot, and still smokes, which I hate.

So in the past she wanted a full on marriage type commitment, and I was too busy having fun with my friends.

Now we both want to give it a go again, but I am hesitant.

I can't fully invest in this again to have it fall apart. it will destroy me again emotionally.

Some advice would be great, but more than anything I guess I am just wanting to get this out.

Thoughts?

 

[rustilldown]

Ill tell ya what man If your ex was your true Love you feel then you should pursue it. Wear your heart on your sleeve. I have been crushed twice and each time was hard man and I slowly moved on banged a few broads and now I am with the girl I feel I were always meant to be with. It's very true about girls I find, can't live with em can't live without em.. But at the end of the day if you love someone then go for it cause you will regret it when the chance passes. Dump the new broad and hook up with the ex just move slowly.

 

[zwhit]

they're both cheating on you

 

[rustilldown]

they're both cheating on you

Lol well that's not very nice now is it!

 

[noodles1010]

Yeah I know, asking you mutts is like asking a vegan how to prepare a steak. Anyway-

I have been seeing a woman for a couple months now and I am not happy in our relationship. She is a recovering alcoholic(sober 2+yrs now). She is extremely controlling and moody as fuck. Cute, tight little body, and great in the sack, blah, blah. I've been trying to stick it out and make things work. until now-

Enter ex girlfriend. I dated this woman for 2 1/2 years and I would call her the love of my life. I absolutely adore her. We broke up last spring and became friends again over the summer. That fell apart when I realized she didn't feel the same. Or so I thought. She is very stubborn and was holding a grudge.

We started texting recently and she invited me over for a beer last night for her birthday. I didn't wanna get my hopes up too much, but it seemed like we picked up right where we left off. Couldn't have gone any better. No sex, just talking and a few kisses. Could have I'm sure, but I'm not sure how I feel about it yet.

Here's the pickle I'm in.

I can't be with current girl no matter what. That fish is dead in the water. My ex and I split because I was taking her for granted and partying too much. Since then I bought a house and moved away from the corrosive environment I was in and stopped drinking. I will drink again, but will never go back to that lifestyle i was living.

It seems we have flip flopped. She drinks a lot, and still smokes, which I hate.

So in the past she wanted a full on marriage type commitment, and I was too busy having fun with my friends.

Now we both want to give it a go again, but I am hesitant.

I can't fully invest in this again to have it fall apart. it will destroy me again emotionally.

Some advice would be great, but more than anything I guess I am just wanting to get this out.

Thoughts?

I was in a similar... Actually VERY similar situation.
My thought after me going through all of it... Date at a distance and if she wants it bad enough shell stick around to re build. Drop the girl your with and never ask what your love did with people while she was away from you or you will resent her for it. Caulk it all up to "you did your shit and she did hers". Fuck what people will say because at the end of the day your the one who lives with it and goes to bed with it. So as long as your happy who cares. It's all about what your willing to accept and let go at this point. I think if your THAT into your ex, give it a honest go. Be in it 100% and make sure she is too. You can only do that from a distance at first tho. Look to see what you can change and look for what she HAS changed. You'll never know if you don't take that leap of faith tho.

 

[noodles1010]

Oh and like zwhit said, they're both cheating on you.... Lol

 

[hardrock]

Good advice. Guess this place ain't all useless assbags. Thanks.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using EliteFitness

 

[Srt8088]

I literally just went through the EXACT same thing except the second I started talking to my ex I immediately dumped the girl I was with. The heart wants what the heart wants man. If this chick is all you have her to be in your head then give her another chance I have found that if she's the one then you guys will find a way to make it work if not then fuck it she clearly isn't what you had her cracked up to be. Personally I went into it with the attitude that I'm gunna prove to this chick she's the girl I wanna be with and it worked out our relationship is a 100x better than it ever was and after a month I'm head over heels for this girl all over again and the feeling is clearly mutual. The only advise I can give you is start fresh and don't get your hopes up if she wants it as bad as you do it'll work itself out if not... Well then on to the next one its a tough attitude to keep but it's the only thing that's kept me from going postal

 

[hardrock]

Agreed. Now to let the current one go. She really loves me and won't take this well. I don't want her to relapse either.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using EliteFitness

 

[Srt8088]

I hear that the chick I was with had a whole boat load of problems ... Ex drug addict, was abused as a kid, had crazy anxiety and I was the world to this girl. She sat in my truck for three hours and had a mental break down when I broke up with her it was awful. My stomach hurts thinking about it still but two weeks after I broke up with her she called me and thanked me because losing me made me realize she needed help. She's in therapy and on the right meds and looks and acts way better then she had been for years so who knows man. Just gotta realize even though she's got problems they aren't yours to solve you can't be the one whose miserable just to make someone you care about happy your own happiness needs to come before all else.