Rejected Nursery Rhymes

[WODIN]

JACK AND JILL
Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill
Forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.

LITTLE MISS MUFFET
Sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It had not been the spider
that crept up beside her
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

SIMPLE SIMON
Met a Pieman going to the fair
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pieman unto Simon
"Pies, you dumbass!"

HUMPTY DUMPTY
Sat on a wall
Humpty dumpty had a great fall
All the kings horses and all the kings men
Had scrambled eggs for breakfast again.

HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE,
The cat did a piddle,
All over the bedside clock,
The little dog laughed to see such fun
When it died of electric shock.
****************************

GEORGIE PORGY
Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too, 'cause he was gay.

THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL
who had a little curl!
Right in the middle of her forehead
And when she was good,
She was very very good
But when she was bad she got a
Fur coat, jewels, and a sports car.

 

[distanced]

ah, i see

 

[Zebo]

LOL....those are funny.

 

[WODIN]

A guy comes home from work and he finds his live-in girlfriend
packing her bags.

The guy asks, "What're you doing?"

She says, "I'm leaving."

The boyfriend says, "How come?"

And the girlfriend replies, "Because I just found out that you're a pedophile!"

"Pedophile?" he says, "That's a mighty big word for an eight-year
old."

 

[distanced]

lol

 

[Zebo]

LOL....from yesterday.....

A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

 

[WODIN]

SuperHero.jpg

Priceless....

 

[jwill3:16]

he is a true Poet.... those are good

 

[TheProject]

JACK AND JILL
Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill
Forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

LOL...I saw the title, and this is the first thing I thought of.

Ah, junior high humor.

 

[AAP]

Peter Peter pumpkin eater
had a wife but didn't need her
Sold her to a brothel
they pimped her ass very well.

 

[vixenbabe]

Reminds of Andrew Dice Clay....

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
Trim that bush it's too damn hairy.

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her dog a bone
She bent over,
Rover took over
And she got a bone of her own

Little Boy Blue
He needed the money

Hickory Dickory Dock
Some chick was sucking my cock
The clock struck two, I dropped my goo
I dumpd the bitch on the next block.