When traveling with pets, make sure they sit on your lap with half their body hanging out the window.
If you own a pick-up truck, transport your ugliest family members on the flat bed and make sure they stare at other drivers.
When carrying large things on the roof of your car, drive with your left arm out the window and use your feeble little hand to keep the cargo from falling off.
While traveling down residential streets, drive 2 MPH and look at all the houses and landscaping. In fact, look everywhere except out the front windshield.
Never use your ashtray. Flick cigarettes out the window when you are done with them.
If your vehicle is capable of spinning its tires on dry roads, take advantage of this. Make as much black smoke as possible.
If you need to stop to ask for directions, wait until there is a car behind you and stop in your lane to block traffic. Try to ask directions from either a 90 year old , a deaf person, an illegal alien, or a child.
After filling your tank and paying at a busy gas station, leave your car in front of the pumps while you use the restroom and shop for a snack.
When running into a local 24 hour convenience store, leave your 1 year old infant in the car alone with the ignition running.
If you legally posses a gun and your state permits unconcealed carrying, drive with it on your dashboard so that anyone you cut off will have second thoughts about "flipping you the bird."
If you are bored and looking for something interesting to do on a summer night, try CAR BOWLING. To do this, you drive through a residential neighborhood on garbage night. Hold a bowling ball out the car window and drive as fast as you can. Then slam on the brakes and let the ball go.
Always drive with your right arm behind the passenger seat.
Steer you car toward any small animals or rodents running through the street. Then, yell to everyone else in the car "Hey, did you feel that little bump? I just ran over a bunny rabbit!"
If you own a pick-up truck, transport your ugliest family members on the flat bed and make sure they stare at other drivers.
When carrying large things on the roof of your car, drive with your left arm out the window and use your feeble little hand to keep the cargo from falling off.
While traveling down residential streets, drive 2 MPH and look at all the houses and landscaping. In fact, look everywhere except out the front windshield.
Never use your ashtray. Flick cigarettes out the window when you are done with them.
If your vehicle is capable of spinning its tires on dry roads, take advantage of this. Make as much black smoke as possible.
If you need to stop to ask for directions, wait until there is a car behind you and stop in your lane to block traffic. Try to ask directions from either a 90 year old , a deaf person, an illegal alien, or a child.
After filling your tank and paying at a busy gas station, leave your car in front of the pumps while you use the restroom and shop for a snack.
When running into a local 24 hour convenience store, leave your 1 year old infant in the car alone with the ignition running.
If you legally posses a gun and your state permits unconcealed carrying, drive with it on your dashboard so that anyone you cut off will have second thoughts about "flipping you the bird."
If you are bored and looking for something interesting to do on a summer night, try CAR BOWLING. To do this, you drive through a residential neighborhood on garbage night. Hold a bowling ball out the car window and drive as fast as you can. Then slam on the brakes and let the ball go.
Always drive with your right arm behind the passenger seat.
Steer you car toward any small animals or rodents running through the street. Then, yell to everyone else in the car "Hey, did you feel that little bump? I just ran over a bunny rabbit!"

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