Really? How important are the drugs to you?

[WCP]

I would like to apologize in advance for the toes I may step on, but I simply cant apologize for stating my opinions.
This may be a long read so if your not up for it hit your back button now!
When I started BB I craved any and all info I could get my hands on about it. When my hard work started paying off I realized the blood I sweat was not in vain.
When I discovered steroids I thought wow! When I used them I sought even more knowledge of what I was using and all other drugs there after.

What I didnt realize until this current cycle is that it is no longer me that is controlling the drugs, its the exact opposite. Now lets not say that I fiended for the shit, but everything I did I did revolving around drugs. If I wanted to bulk I knew enough test would do it. If I wanted to cut I knew enough clen/T3 would get it done.

What I realized this current cycle is that if you do enough drugs youll get bigger regardless of how much work you put in. I meant to purely cut up on this cycle I dieted with 0 carbs 5 days a week (aside from 100g of dextrose post workout) and carbed up even cheated on the weekends. Ive done that since day one of my cycle and Im 12lbs heavier and cut.
Sounds great right?
Three plus weeks I suffered everything from a very nasty cold to a back pull to my current severe exertion headaches, and guess what I still put on size I did not work for.

I did no work those weeks.

I did little in the way of dieting while I cut on T3.
I am only writing this because my concious is bothering me. I know there are alot of guys on this board that would kill to be my size but I always took the majority of my pride not in my gear knowledge but in my work ethic. I have become the opposite.

I am considering at this time releasing myself from moderatorship on this board. I look great but I dont feel that way on the inside. I feel as though Im slowly killing myself.

This is not an anti-steroid ad, its merely a simple guy just like the rest of you saying dont ever lose sight of what got you here, thats about it.

Ranger will understand this part,
Bleed Iron,
WCP

 

[Diesil]

I feel ya bro!! Sometimes I wonder why the hell I put myself through all of this? Then I say to myself fuck it you only live once, everything else kills ya. Then I feel fine. But I guess, it is whatever you think is best for yourself!

 

[WCP]

With all due respect...when you have an adoring wife and loving 3yr. old boy you do not adopt the attitude "you only live once, everything else kills ya"

WCP

 

[Diesil]

WPC, I guess it is also according really to what stage of life ou have at the time you know. As of right now I am about 20 on my own no support what so-ever, parents going through a divorce, plus a bunch of other depressing shit. Anyway It is not a good time in my life right now. Thats why I said what I said. But I would give it all up if I had what you have. Maybe one day I will be there too. Then I would take more consideration of myself to support my family.

 

[M.O.D]

wcp.

my friend i have been using steriods for over 20 years and this is a very common feeling. steriods are just as addictive as a street drug...i dont know how old you are or how long you been using but steriods do hook you...you feel great when you are on..strong, energy, confident ect ect fucking ect...and when you go off you lose all that..

i dont consider myself an expert in many things but this is no doubt something i know all to well......and of course more is better ..or we think...i was clean for over 5 years until i went back on two years ago and even though i'm doing mild cycles and doses i know i'm still fucking myself up inside and i also know i will not quit....i dont really have the answer.is it self destruction...be vain??? for myself i think its because life is short and for me boring....i always thought all i ever needed was money..well i have enough to retire on and that wasnt the fix....done drugs..that wasnt a fix...i give more than i take..that wasnt a fix...

life is strange my friend and i think we all are fucked up one way or the other...i have just about everything a guy could ask for but yet i still feel unhappy and that there is something missing..


i got hit by a truck, so for a short time i really appreciated life..now im back to being bored and looking for that fix....i will be 40 this sunday..i grew up real fucking hard..worked for my dad at 13 working in a slaughter house killing a thousand cattle a day..what i made is self made but its still not enough...

so back to the use of steriods..once you take that first cycle you are pretty much hooked..just like coke or any other street drug...maybe we all are looking for that fix to makes us feel happy inside or maybe im way off base and just fucked up myself....but at least i can admit it....hang in there buddy and dont let this get you down....its not the drugs ...its just life my friend

 

[M.O.D]

What I didnt realize until this current cycle is that it is no longer me that is controlling the drugs, its the exact opposite. [/B]

but that is what you want isnt it???..you take care of your wife and your son..they both depend on you.....you may not know it but having that feeling of something controlling you is some what comforting even though it may be bad for you...

its all an escape...how many of you enjoy just looking at all your gear?? even worse how many of you look forward to sticking a needle in your ass??? see my point

 

[PUMPON]

I've been here for awile, and WCP while i don't know you personally, i have seen the help you have given others and that is pricless. Think of how many newbies would be messed up without your advice. Your an asset to the board and you should stay!. I've only been in the juice game for a few years so i can't really get a true understanding for what you are saying. I know i think about gear every second i'm off of it and have to plan and work out my next cycle before i even finish the one i'm on. If your feeling quilty lay off the drugs a bit and get back to basics and start killing yourself with training and diet. Everyone slacks a little, just get back on your game. The only way i would feel quilty or even think about giving it up if it was affecting your family. If not just get your old good work ethic back and go hard!!

 

[MUSTANG_18]

WCP, That is a very deep post. It is late and I'm tired as hell but I must say this because I consider you a great friend and one of the few guys I trust with my life. I feel what your saying with this post and I can only imagine what your going through inside as I have far less real life expirence then you do. Bottom line is, you have to do what you feel is best for you and your family. If that means coming off drugs all together then that is what has to be done. Please stay as a mod on this board though. You have a vast amoutn of knowledge to share and I don't think you realize how many people you actually help. I know just speaking with you through out the last year has helped me realize something things about gear, life, training and this whole game in general that I would have never known otherwise. Take a break and just relax if yyou think that will be best but do what you feel is right. I am behind you 100% on what ever move you decide to make and I am sure the other bro's are as well.

M18

 

[needsize]

I certainly know what you mean.

I had over 10 years of naturl training and a pretty advanced physique under my belt when I decided to give gear a try this year. Now, in my 2nd cycle, I have forgotten the patience I learned over those 10 hard years, and feel like every newby to the gym out there; I want it all yesterday!! I am just hoping that the more experience I get with this the less obsessive I will be about it.

 

[2bHUGE]

I wasnt going to reply to this post but the more i thuoght about it, i realized i should give my $.02. Im still a newbie to this game but im 31 years old married and a kid. I have done a cycle before and ready for the next. I was all happy up till about a week ago when i finally saw the movie Blow.... and i thought to myself, what the hell am i doing this shit for ?????? Im sitting here waitnig for some of my gear to come in the mail watching a story about some fucked up drug shit with my wife and kid and thought that i must be crazy!!! Then i think about how i looked and felt last summer after i finnished my cycle and it was great, all that hard work and you finnaly see results. Everywhere you go people look at you different, all your coworkers ask you how the hell you do it, and sex couldnt be better!!! So anyway i think im going to do another in the spring.
But i would like to thank you guys that helped me learn the correct use of AS so i didnt f*** myself up in the process. Before i came to this board i knew absolutly nothing about gear. Hell i thought that steroids were steroids. Never knew there was 100 different ones or what they were for. But you guys at EF were of great help.... and especially the mods, all the knowledge rolls down hill and without you guys, this board would be like the others, a bunch of people with opinions and sources, and all the newbies would be fucked. So keep you MOD status bro, even if you choose not to use AS anymore, the rest of us could use your help, it would be great to learn how to gain 12lbs of rock while on a diet.