Question for the Parents

[Smurfy]

What do you do when you tell your kid to do something (i.e. homework, go take a shower, clean your room, etc) and they either complain/whine/have something to say or they just arent moving fast enough/or at all?

What's your standard technique in these circumstances? Does it work?

My technique is I usually tell him "Just do it" and then I walk away so he doesnt think he can engage me in anyway or i continue on with whatever I was doing and dont attend to his behavior. Then if it continues I warn him that he it's a bad move to continue on in that direction and he'd be well served to "just do it" like i said before. Or I tell him he's making a big mistake by giving me lip.

This works sometimes. Sometimes it doesnt work quite as well as I'd like it. But when i crouch down and get into his face at his level and get eye to eye basically and i lower my tone of voice and say "Listen here. You're going to shut your mouth and do that homework without any problems otherwise you and me, we're gonna have a real problem. You got that?"
he is usually more responsive.

but id rather just say "hey buddy, its time for homework/shower/whatever" and have him just do it.

 

[Lestat]

this is not an area I have any experience or expertise in unfortunately

i agree with your last sentence though, if I had a kid I wish it would be that easy!

 

[heatherrae]

I won't have those problems.

My kid is going to be perfect...LOL.

 

[Jon79]

I won't have those problems.

My kid is going to be perfect...LOL.

since he is mine he will prolly b pretty

 

[sixxtoes]

last time i check it is called a belt

 

[Smurfy]

last time i check it is called a belt

is that what you use on your kids?

 

[heavy_duty]

i yell and scream and that does not work.

 

[sixxtoes]

is that what you use on your kids?

don't have kids, but my parents threaten me with it enough and i knew not to f-around or it was gonna happen

 

[stilleto]

i have one that when i say, "please take out the garbage", he says, "ok" and does it.
i have one that when i say, "please let the dogs in", he says, "ok" and doesn't do it. Then i say, "what happened to you letting the dogs in??" and he'll tell me he forgot or he'll get to it and he'll say 'sorry', but it doesn't make me want to jump to do stuff for him and he knows it.
Then i have one that when i say, "please go clean your room", she says it's done (it's not) and she runs outside with her cell phone, which she loses for a week and then she's all upset and hates me for a night. the next night she is sweet as pie again and cleans her room so i give her back her cell phone and i'll find out that her older brother (the one who moves slowly) helped her clean it, plus his own and then i can't be mad at any of them.

 

[Stryker1992]

What do you do when you tell your kid to do something (i.e. homework, go take a shower, clean your room, etc) and they either complain/whine/have something to say or they just arent moving fast enough/or at all?

What's your standard technique in these circumstances? Does it work?

My technique is I usually tell him "Just do it" and then I walk away so he doesnt think he can engage me in anyway or i continue on with whatever I was doing and dont attend to his behavior. Then if it continues I warn him that he it's a bad move to continue on in that direction and he'd be well served to "just do it" like i said before. Or I tell him he's making a big mistake by giving me lip.

This works sometimes. Sometimes it doesnt work quite as well as I'd like it. But when i crouch down and get into his face at his level and get eye to eye basically and i lower my tone of voice and say "Listen here. You're going to shut your mouth and do that homework without any problems otherwise you and me, we're gonna have a real problem. You got that?"
he is usually more responsive.

but id rather just say "hey buddy, its time for homework/shower/whatever" and have him just do it.

Sounds like you are a signle mom? How old is the kid? He is challenging your authority as children do. You may want to establish a behavior chart based on what he is suppose to do and what you want him to accomplish. Put it on the fridge and utilize it as a rewards system. If he completes the task he gets a check or a sticker or whatever. X number of these equal a reward. If he miss behaves, no check and there should be some sort of "punishment". this can be a time out (NOT IN HIS ROOM WHERE ALL HIS FUCKING TOYS ARE!) or early to bed, no after school special, whatever the fuck you decide. Explain it to him clearly and stay consistent.

If that does not work, a sharp crack on the thigh usually will.

Some times kids act up becuase it gets the attention, do you guys spend positive time together?

Yes, I am a psychologist!

 

[jh1]

I use a cigarette lighter hold it under her the heel of her foot until the little brat complies!!!!!!!

 

[covergrl80]

I usually repeat myself in normal tone then if the steps are not being made I raise my voice, then if that does not get her moving I yank her ass up!

 

[Smurfy]

Sounds like you are a signle mom? How old is the kid? He is challenging your authority as children do. You may want to establish a behavior chart based on what he is suppose to do and what you want him to accomplish. Put it on the fridge and utilize it as a rewards system. If he completes the task he gets a check or a sticker or whatever. X number of these equal a reward. If he miss behaves, no check and there should be some sort of "punishment". this can be a time out (NOT IN HIS ROOM WHERE ALL HIS FUCKING TOYS ARE!) or early to bed, no after school special, whatever the fuck you decide. Explain it to him clearly and stay consistent.

If that does not work, a sharp crack on the thigh usually will.

Some times kids act up becuase it gets the attention, do you guys spend positive time together?

Yes, I am a psychologist!

lol thanks but i wasnt asking for advice. No im not a single parent but I was at one time. i was curious what techniques other parents use. my kid is a good kid and yes we spend lots of positive time together. i too have a degree in psychology and I spent many years training Foster Parents on proper discipline techniques. And we dont keep all his toys in his bedroom. He's got a dresser and a bookshelf loaded with books in his bedroom, and all his sports trohpies too. his toys, games, tv and xbox are kept in his playroom. lol @ you're a psychologist!

 

[Smurfy]

I use a cigarette lighter hold it under her the heel of her foot until the little brat complies!!!!!!!

i wish i hadn't quit smoking!

 

[jh1]

i wish i hadn't quit smoking!

Just use the stove top, burn his fucking thumb.....

 

[Jon79]

I usually repeat myself in normal tone then if the steps are not being made I raise my voice, then if that does not get her moving I yank her ass up!

child abuser

 

[Smurfy]

Just use the stove top, burn his fucking thumb.....

oh how i miss those days of lighting up on the gas stove

 

[jestro]

I pretty much do the same as you smurfy. I'll tell her to clean her room or something, and she'll complain a little. I say, "too bad, do it anyway." Sometimes I'll give in a little, and let her do it in 15 minutes or something.
The main thing is to have reasonable expectations, and back up what you say. My kid is pretty good though. Nothing like me as a kid.

 

[jh1]

I pretty much do the same as you smurfy. I'll tell her to clean her room or something, and she'll complain a little. I say, "too bad, do it anyway." Sometimes I'll give in a little, and let her do it in 15 minutes or something.
The main thing is to have reasonable expectations, and back up what you say. My kid is pretty good though. Nothing like me as a kid.

Hold old is your daughter again?

How often do you have her?

 

[jestro]

Hold old is your daughter again?

How often do you have her?

She's 92.
I have custody. Her mom lives in another state, and she goes down there 3 times a year, around 2 months total.

 

[jh1]

She's 92.
I have custody. Her mom lives in another state, and she goes down there 3 times a year, around 2 months total.

LOL @ 92... I guess you mean 9?

How long have you had that custody arrangement?

 

[jestro]

LOL @ 92... I guess you mean 9?

How long have you had that custody arrangement?

It took a couple of years for custody to get legal, but I've had her since we split when the kiddo was 4.

 

[jh1]

It took a couple of years for custody to get legal, but I've had her since we split when the kiddo was 4.

Props....

Is mom still a mess or has she cleaned up her act in the last 5 years or so?

 

[rubberneck]

What do you do when you tell your kid to do something (i.e. homework, go take a shower, clean your room, etc) and they either complain/whine/have something to say or they just arent moving fast enough/or at all?

What's your standard technique in these circumstances? Does it work?

My technique is I usually tell him "Just do it" and then I walk away so he doesnt think he can engage me in anyway or i continue on with whatever I was doing and dont attend to his behavior. Then if it continues I warn him that he it's a bad move to continue on in that direction and he'd be well served to "just do it" like i said before. Or I tell him he's making a big mistake by giving me lip.

This works sometimes. Sometimes it doesnt work quite as well as I'd like it. But when i crouch down and get into his face at his level and get eye to eye basically and i lower my tone of voice and say "Listen here. You're going to shut your mouth and do that homework without any problems otherwise you and me, we're gonna have a real problem. You got that?"
he is usually more responsive.

but id rather just say "hey buddy, its time for homework/shower/whatever" and have him just do it.

That would be so nice if it work that way!!

 

[jestro]

Props....

Is mom still a mess or has she cleaned up her act in the last 5 years or so?

Well, I wouldn't call her a mess, but she's still ape shit crazy. She tries to make things hard for me, and admitted she just does it to make things hard for me. One funny thing, she's gone totally organic, food, soap shampoo, everything. My kid comes back and tells me all this crazy shit. I think they are growing weed too, which sucks, but there's nothing I can do about it. They live in Humbolt county CA, which is pretty notorious.

You've got custody of you're little squirtlette right? Isn't she about 4? It gets a whole lot easier when they start going to school.

 

[stilleto]

She's 92.
I have custody. Her mom lives in another state, and she goes down there 3 times a year, around 2 months total.

oh. wow.
how old are YOU?

 

[jestro]

oh. wow.
how old are YOU?

I'm 156. And feeling like a spring chicken.

 

[stilleto]

I'm 156. And feeling like a spring chicken.

oh, well, you look great.

 

[AAP]

I'd threaten to take his Barbies away. Or make him use generic shampoo/conditioner.

If that didn't work, I would randomly suplex him anytime he didn't obey me immediately.

 

[needtogetaas]

if I say do it its gets don no ??? asked.the older they get the more they know this till it gets to the point where I dont even have to say a thing they just know what to do.my oldest son all I have to do is walk into his room and he will start cleaning it.if the youngest to are fighting and making lots of noise all I have to do is stand up and they stop.makes things easy for every one when your kids know who is the boss.

 

[Longhorn85]

What do you do when you tell your kid to do something (i.e. homework, go take a shower, clean your room, etc) and they either complain/whine/have something to say or they just arent moving fast enough/or at all?

Restrict internet time, increase chores.