Question for the Parents

[Smurfy]

What do you do when you tell your kid to do something (i.e. homework, go take a shower, clean your room, etc) and they either complain/whine/have something to say or they just arent moving fast enough/or at all?

What's your standard technique in these circumstances? Does it work?

My technique is I usually tell him "Just do it" and then I walk away so he doesnt think he can engage me in anyway or i continue on with whatever I was doing and dont attend to his behavior. Then if it continues I warn him that he it's a bad move to continue on in that direction and he'd be well served to "just do it" like i said before. Or I tell him he's making a big mistake by giving me lip.

This works sometimes. Sometimes it doesnt work quite as well as I'd like it. But when i crouch down and get into his face at his level and get eye to eye basically and i lower my tone of voice and say "Listen here. You're going to shut your mouth and do that homework without any problems otherwise you and me, we're gonna have a real problem. You got that?"
he is usually more responsive.

but id rather just say "hey buddy, its time for homework/shower/whatever" and have him just do it.

 

[Lestat]

this is not an area I have any experience or expertise in unfortunately

i agree with your last sentence though, if I had a kid I wish it would be that easy!

 

[heatherrae]

I won't have those problems.

My kid is going to be perfect...LOL.

 

[Jon79]

I won't have those problems.

My kid is going to be perfect...LOL.

since he is mine he will prolly b pretty

 

[sixxtoes]

last time i check it is called a belt

 

[Smurfy]

last time i check it is called a belt

is that what you use on your kids?

 

[heavy_duty]

i yell and scream and that does not work.

 

[sixxtoes]

is that what you use on your kids?

don't have kids, but my parents threaten me with it enough and i knew not to f-around or it was gonna happen

 

[stilleto]

i have one that when i say, "please take out the garbage", he says, "ok" and does it.
i have one that when i say, "please let the dogs in", he says, "ok" and doesn't do it. Then i say, "what happened to you letting the dogs in??" and he'll tell me he forgot or he'll get to it and he'll say 'sorry', but it doesn't make me want to jump to do stuff for him and he knows it.
Then i have one that when i say, "please go clean your room", she says it's done (it's not) and she runs outside with her cell phone, which she loses for a week and then she's all upset and hates me for a night. the next night she is sweet as pie again and cleans her room so i give her back her cell phone and i'll find out that her older brother (the one who moves slowly) helped her clean it, plus his own and then i can't be mad at any of them.

 

[Stryker1992]

What do you do when you tell your kid to do something (i.e. homework, go take a shower, clean your room, etc) and they either complain/whine/have something to say or they just arent moving fast enough/or at all?

What's your standard technique in these circumstances? Does it work?

My technique is I usually tell him "Just do it" and then I walk away so he doesnt think he can engage me in anyway or i continue on with whatever I was doing and dont attend to his behavior. Then if it continues I warn him that he it's a bad move to continue on in that direction and he'd be well served to "just do it" like i said before. Or I tell him he's making a big mistake by giving me lip.

This works sometimes. Sometimes it doesnt work quite as well as I'd like it. But when i crouch down and get into his face at his level and get eye to eye basically and i lower my tone of voice and say "Listen here. You're going to shut your mouth and do that homework without any problems otherwise you and me, we're gonna have a real problem. You got that?"
he is usually more responsive.

but id rather just say "hey buddy, its time for homework/shower/whatever" and have him just do it.

Sounds like you are a signle mom? How old is the kid? He is challenging your authority as children do. You may want to establish a behavior chart based on what he is suppose to do and what you want him to accomplish. Put it on the fridge and utilize it as a rewards system. If he completes the task he gets a check or a sticker or whatever. X number of these equal a reward. If he miss behaves, no check and there should be some sort of "punishment". this can be a time out (NOT IN HIS ROOM WHERE ALL HIS FUCKING TOYS ARE!) or early to bed, no after school special, whatever the fuck you decide. Explain it to him clearly and stay consistent.

If that does not work, a sharp crack on the thigh usually will.

Some times kids act up becuase it gets the attention, do you guys spend positive time together?

Yes, I am a psychologist!