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Question for the ladies

theoak01

New member
How the hell does a guy earn the trust of a girl who has lost total trust in men,due to a past relationship?

Im trying awfully hard and I know it will take time,but she says she is interested its just the trust thing thats stopping her,so we are dating but thats it.

she also has told me not to put all my effort into her because she isnt worth it,yet she likes me,which is confusing as fuck.


I know I have a long difficult road ahead of me but I will treat this girl like gold,I just have to make her see that.

any ideas at all?
 
not a chick, but I will respond. It takes time. Give her your attention, some gifts and a lot of loven.

You cannot change someones mind, they have to do it themself (How to win friends)
 
Hmm..sounds like a lot to take on.. if she is unable to trust men..why is she dating?

This part "she also has told me not to put all my effort into her because she isnt worth it" worries me... sounds kind of like a martyr-ish brush off to me.

Proceed with caution.

:)
 
First you have to ask yourself "Can you be trusted?" If the answer is no, then you`ll hurt her even more. Think about it long and hard bro. The answer is`nt always what it seems. Situations and circumstances can change ones views on things and people and relationships.
 
seashell that kinda worried me also,so I called her on it and said look,if you dont have any interest in me tell me,Ill move on, she said she does its just a trust issue.

and by dating I mean we hang out,hug,hold hands basically,although I did crash at her place in her bed a few days ago,which confuses the fuck out of me even more
 
gonelifting said:
First you have to ask yourself "Can you be trusted?" If the answer is no, then you`ll hurt her even more. Think about it long and hard bro. The answer is`nt always what it seems. Situations and circumstances can change ones views on things and people and relationships.

honestly I have changed my ways and feel I can be trusted,the last thing I wanna do is hurt her. she knows I fucked up in my past which I think will make it even harder,but I am not like that anymore and if I even thought about being with someone else id leave,and I told her that
 
Okay good Oak, glad you asked her about that, it sounded weird to me as well.

I don't have any really great advice, if it truly is the trust issue, that will take some time to get past.

By any chance was she recently in a serious type of relationship? How long has she been single?
 
shes been single a month or so,was a year relationship,which could be a reason ,as its still fresh hurt


what I find funny is she cant understand why I am nice to her,she said she expects me to be a asshole
 
TheOak01 said:
seashell that kinda worried me also,so I called her on it and said look,if you dont have any interest in me tell me,Ill move on, she said she does its just a trust issue.

and by dating I mean we hang out,hug,hold hands basically,although I did crash at her place in her bed a few days ago,which confuses the fuck out of me even more


She just seems like she`s taking it slow with her guard up. It also seems you guys are moving faster than she would like to have eluded to in the beginning if you`ve slept over already. In time I think it will be just fine. IMO I was with a woman like that once. Treat her right and she`ll open up.

Maybe she was violated or something...
 
if someone tells you they are bad news - believe them.

wtf with the dudes around here lately?

like they live in a one chick town.
 
Move slow, shes sending a clear message that she doesn't want to rush into anything. She has clearly been thru something that warrants her skepticism, and in time she will ease up.

Though its not you something or someone scared her but wounds do heal some faster than others. You seem to care for her, keep showing her that and hopefully she will let up her guard :)

Good luck
 
Gonelifting I thought that to brother,but I wouldnt dare ask

I think you guys are right though,she wants to take it slow,and so do I,so Ill just have to keep showing her Im not going anywhere nor will I do her wrong
 
I am guessing you are going to end up the "rebound guy" or "the guy who helps her work through all her baggage"....

after which she will fall in love with someone else and you will have wasted 2 years of your life....

have fun.
 
Becoming said:
if someone tells you they are bad news - believe them.

wtf with the dudes around here lately?

like they live in a one chick town.


LMAO... seriously.

This has turned into a board of a few men trying to help out a group of little boys.
 
nah man,its not like that,she is over her ex,the fucker cheated 5 times,and treated her like she the entire time, she just finds it hard to trust now,which I totally get
 
no bro,touching or rushing physical contact will not get me anywhere but gone,we had a talk about this already


Im not a idiot and I will have my guard up a little also,and will know if Im being strung along
 
TheOak01 said:
nah man,its not like that,she is over her ex,the fucker cheated 5 times,and treated her like she the entire time, she just finds it hard to trust now,which I totally get

sounds like it... :rolleyes:



I would steer clear if I were you...

let her work it out on her own - she will have to anyways.. nothing you are going to do is going to facilitate the process...


everyone here trying to be the knight in shining armor... it is a nice thought but not realistic...
 
Im not trying to be any knight nor workout her problems,but Im not afraid to work through a problem if I want something
 
TheOak01 said:
Im not trying to be any knight nor workout her problems,but Im not afraid to work through a problem if I want something

Okay - what should we set the over/under at for TheOak01's "my heart is broken" thread?
 
wont happen bro,Im not diving in head first,done that bullshit way to many times in the past,Im taking things slow and keeping my feelings under wraps,knowing what she is thinking/feeling
 
TheOak01 said:
wont happen bro,Im not diving in head first,done that bullshit way to many times in the past,Im taking things slow and keeping my feelings under wraps,knowing what she is thinking/feeling

d3track -

I am hearing your six months... but after this post I am thinking 9-12... he seems a little resistant to the truth to me....

lets hear more estimates from the peanut gallery...
 
Thanks Oak!

Now that I finally have the exbitch out of my life, they've turned to you to rag on.

have fun!
 
christ we are just dating,Im not looking to get married for many years,and after I know the girl and I are meant to be , I have a pretty good guard up most of the time and can detect bullshit,so when I do settle down its for good
 
TheOak01 said:
christ we are just dating,Im not looking to get married for many years,and after I know the girl and I are meant to be , I have a pretty good guard up most of the time and can detect bullshit,so when I do settle down its for good


Dude, she is vulnerable right now. Marry her and break her right away. It`ll be very easy to break her will, because of her cautious approach and vulnerabilty.

Do it. Marry her and break her!

Please!


Do it.









Now!
 
TheOak01 said:
she also has told me not to put all my effort into her because she isnt worth it,yet she likes me,which is confusing as fuck.


remember that thread a while ago about whats the best piece of advice anyone ever gave you?
mine was, when someone tells you something about them, believe them.
this is a classic example.
that being said, and you decide she is wrong about being worth it, patience will win her trust.
 
Run for the hills. In all seriousness, I wish you the best. Nothing's guaranteed in the game of love.
 
Just be yourself - there is nothing you can do or say to help her cope to be more mentally equiped to be involved with you.

So, instead of thinking about it just try and enough it as it comes and for the experience as an experience.


Trust or rather lack of it sits with a person for a long time but I assume she's young and youth would be on her side.
 
makes sense,this way if I am myself and she doesnt think it will work thats cool,but if it worked because I changed who I really am Im sure things will turn out worse.

as for if shes worth it,I usually listen to people,but I believe this is just her self confidence issue from the last relationship,shes beautiful and a great person
 
gonelifting said:
First you have to ask yourself "Can you be trusted?" If the answer is no, then you`ll hurt her even more. Think about it long and hard bro. The answer is`nt always what it seems. Situations and circumstances can change ones views on things and people and relationships.


LMAO!
Pull your panties up DR. Phil!
 
Robert Jan said:
The real question is can any girl ever make me like girls


:worried: you don't like girls?
 
I wanna fuck them

Dont like em too much.
It shocks me now that I think about it
maybe all young guys are like this though
 
Robert Jan said:
I wanna fuck them

Dont like em too much.
It shocks me now that I think about it
maybe all young guys are like this though
:worried:
 
Last edited:
Robert Jan said:
I wanna fuck them

Dont like em too much.
It shocks me now that I think about it
maybe all young guys are like this though

i think freud would have something to say about this....
 
Robert Jan said:
I wanna fuck them

Dont like em too much.
It shocks me now that I think about it
maybe all young guys are like this though


I don't think all young guys are like that, but then hell what do I know. At least your honest about it :worried: then again...........
 
arent you like 16 or something bro? if so enjoy it,thats before the feelings and wanting a relationship appear
 
well fuckers,it didnt take a year like I predicted,I was wrong,she wants to start as friends no,no more dating shit,until she can trust me,and we will go from there

lesson1,dont fall for girls fast

lesson 2 you fuckers are usually right
 
It takes just a few things, lots of time, consistent behavior from you, and honesty from you. If she sees that you're not just on "company manners" (we all know we edit ourselves in the beginning) she'll eventually warm up.
 
TheOak01 said:
well fuckers,it didnt take a year like I predicted,I was wrong,she wants to start as friends no,no more dating shit,until she can trust me,and we will go from there

lesson1,dont fall for girls fast
lesson 2 you fuckers are usually right
I'm curious. Why are you bothering? Do you believe that you "fell" fast or just in lust for this girl?
 
TheOak01 said:
lesson1,dont fall for girls fast

lesson 2 you fuckers are usually right

LOL, sad but true.

So are you going back to the ex now?
 
def not going to the ex,Im still hanging with this girl,showing her I can be trusted,we just arent dating,she did however tease me and keep me up all night,I havent fucking been to bed yet
 
TheOak01 said:
well fuckers,it didnt take a year like I predicted,I was wrong,she wants to start as friends no,no more dating shit,until she can trust me,and we will go from there

lesson1,dont fall for girls fast

lesson 2 you fuckers are usually right


Sorry bro... I tried to save you from this...

I was only so hard on you and 'in your face' because I knew this shit was gonna happen...

Welcome to the 'Friend Zone'....

You can never escape this with this girl...

Move on...

go back and re-read all my posts... 'DON'T SLEEP WITH GIRLS YOU ARE NOT FUCKING'....
 
TheOak01 said:
well fuckers,it didnt take a year like I predicted,I was wrong,she wants to start as friends no,no more dating shit,until she can trust me,and we will go from there

lesson1,dont fall for girls fast

lesson 2 you fuckers are usually right

LOL - I am not going to say I told ya so bro...

move on to greener pastures and chicks with less baggage...

you guys just get too attached right away... date a person for a couple weeks/months before you start getting so attached to them...

you confuse lust with love/real feelings....
 
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