Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below
napsgear
genezapharmateuticals
domestic-supply
puritysourcelabs
UGL OZ
UGFREAK
napsgeargenezapharmateuticals domestic-supplypuritysourcelabsUGL OZUGFREAK

prison

  • Thread starter Thread starter sheep-head
  • Start date Start date
S

sheep-head

Guest
anyone been in prison?

I couldn't imagine being there, not being able to go out for a beer, to the shops, for a walk, for a drive, take my gf out etc.

I couldn't think of anything worse, how do people manage?
 
I was in prison when I was younger for about two months. I was arrested for some stupid drunken shit and found my self charged with terrorist threats and assault on an officer, which placed my bail real high. I spent 2 weeks in L.A. County jail and then about 2 months in Wayside prison, going back forth from court to prison while my case was being put together, before my dad bailed me out. I was in a super maximum security facility with real criminals, it was my first offense and I was scared shitless. Fortunately I got along with everyone I met in there, my dorm had like 40 people in it. The bad part was that I had to kind of be part of the Mexican Mafia gang in there and had to play by their rules, lots of politics in there. Nothing big went down while I was in there but if it had, I would of been expected to be in it or I would have gotten my ass beat after, possibly killed. I was surprised at the amount of drugs that find their way in there. Fuck that place, I never want to go back to jail, not even for the night.
 
SoreArms said:
I was surprised at the amount of drugs that find their way in there.
Click to expand...

Really?
I may have to check it out sometime...
 
the company that provides and serves the food in my university's dining halls is the same company that provides the food in the penitentiaries here as well.
 
a blog from someone who had to 2 spend 4 weekends in la county jail:

Well my first weekend in jail wasn't all that bad. I mean don't get me wrong jail sucks, but it could have been a lot worse. I don't really have any good stories to tell. The whole weekend was pretty mellow. I got to the jailhouse about 6pm. I met a couple of dudes that were doing weekends as well. There were about 20 of us total. Since it was my first weekend I had to go through full processing again. They printed me, took another mugshot, all that jazz. We didn't actually get to our bunks (new guys) until like 1am. They put us in our own cellblock, which I am told is not the normal situation. Apparently we normally get housed in the dorms. So we had this cellblock; all weekenders; two guys to a cell; maybe 20 cells; half of em empty. Everyone got along pretty well. We got to watch TV and shit most of the day on Saturday and Sunday. We had books to read and games to play. We even got to go out into the yard and play basketball and handball for a couple hours on Sunday. All in all not that bad. Way better than when I had to do time in Glendale. We got locked down at 10pm for the night and for an hour or so after meals. That sucked. And meal times really sucked too. Breakfast was 4:30am. Lunch at 10am. Dinner at 4pm. And this shit was NASTY!!! I mean really fucking bad. I've eaten jail food before, and this was way worse. The beds were horrible too. Standard jail mats on sheets of metal. And of course, getting strip searched and issued prison clothes is no fun either. It was no vacation, but like I said it could have been a lot worse. I spent most of my weekend in my bunk reading. I got to read of all Mona Lisa Overdrive by William Gibson (cyberpunk for those who aren't familiar). So that really helped pass the time. One weekend down 4 more to go... ugh..
 
Ok this weekend pretty much sucked ass! It's amazing how a few little things can really make a difference. More or less it was the same deal as last weekend. Same cell block. Mostly the same dudes. Same shitty food and bed. So we start getting processed at 7pm just like last Friday. I was even housed by 9:30pm this time since I was a returning weekender and didn't have to go through full booking again. But we got stuck with fucking Deputy Cornhole on the way in this time. Now those of you who haven't had the privilege of a good strip search might not realize what is entailed. I'll just grab this clip from American Me to give you the idea...


"Ain't nobody talking while I'm talking fellas so shut the fuck up. The following items get placed in the envelope as I call them off. An empty wallet, legal paperwork. The first three out of the tank. Open your mouth, stick out your tongue, do your ears one at a time, bend your heads over shake them out with your fingers. Hands above your head, hands out in front of you. Look down and lift up your nut sack, drop you nut sack and skin back your dick. Turn around, one foot at a time, wiggle your toes. Now the other foot. Bend over grap your ass, spread your cheeks and give me two good coughs"

And yes that's really the way it goes. Not quite word for word, but pretty close. Now last week when we got to the cavity search part, the dep just had us bend over and spread our cheeks real quick. No coughing no bullshit. But not Deputy Cornhole. Oh no, this mother fucker gave a seminar on cavity searches. "Ok now pay close attention, and I am gonna demonstrate. I want you to bend over at the waist," he bends over. "All the way over, not halfway over like this. I want you all the way bent over. Then you are each going to spread your cheeks and wait. When I call out your number I want to you cough and keep coughing until I am satisfied." I shit you not, this is what this guy is telling us. And sure enough he held to it. Had us each coughing for a good 10 seconds before he moved on to the next guy... Now I got nothing against gays, but sadistics faggots shouldn't be prison guards! I guess at least after being thoroughly degraded, we all got to make it to our bunks early.
Next day was all right, except that the bastards took our books! No books to read. So time pretty much dragged like you wouldn't believe. On the bright side we did get to watch Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2 during the day. That was pretty kickass. I'd never seen Vol 2 before that. So other than being a little slow, the day went ok. Then there is a notice of inspection. Apparently there is inspection every Saturday night in the cell blocks. Last weekend the dep came in and said we didn't have to bother because we were weekenders. That was the only inspection we'd ever been through. Well this weekend it was Deputy Cornhole doing the inspections. He came in and yelled at us for not being ready for inspection and shit. And when we got up for breakfast the next morning, there was a notice in the common area that we failed inspection. As a result we had no tv, hot water, or phones. Needless to say that day dragged on REAL slow. So between deputy cornhole and not having any books, this weekend really fucking sucked compared to last weekend. Oh well I am out now. 2 down 3 to go.
 
Well this weekend was a little different hehe. They closed off lower west (the cell block they've been putting us in), so we got to stay in the dorms in south house this weekend. Dorm living is a bit different than what we've been doing the last two weekends. It's one room with 60 bunks, like a military barracks. Two rows of bunks stacked 3 high. We were placed with general population as well. Now none of these guys were hard core violent criminals or anything. But they weren't weekenders either. The biggest difference is that in the cellblock things are lockdown at night. It is quiet and you are in your cell with your 1 cellmate. In the dorms there is no lockdown at night. You are in a room of 60 dudes, and many of them like to stay up late at night and make all sorts of noise. So I pretty much gave up on sleeping. Friday night we got to watch this big, ripped, like 250lb dude pummel this little dude for about 2 hours! It was in the dorm across from us, but all the walls are clear so you can see into other dorms. This big guy just punked this little dude for ever. Putting him in choke holds, grabbing him by the hair and smashing his head against the bunks, backed him up in the corner and just laid into him like a heavy bag. It was like watching a boxer work out. I mean seriously. The big guy was covered in sweat by the time he got bored. The guys who had been in my dorm for a while said it goes on every day. Same two guys. So that killed a little time. After that one of the dudes in my dorm made a "rat tail." We used to play with these things in high school when I was a kid. For those who don't know a rat tail a folded up towl or pillowcase or something. It is folded in such a way that it basically makes it into a whip. Normal inmates are allowed to have stores of food. They can have people put money into an account for them and they can purchase stuff with it. So a lot of these guys have ramen soup, cookies, candy, and shit like that. Anyway this little white guy starts brokering deals to trade food for being whipped with this thing. LMAO! Seriously this thing is just like a whip. And this guy is volunteering to be hit with it. "Ok I'll let you get me with from here with a walking start for 2 soups." LOL. Other times he was bent over gripping a bunk with both hands, ass up in the air waiting for the strike. This shit was fuckin hysterical. It was like watching a episode of jackass! All in all they whipped this dude about 8 or 9 times during the night. They were negotiating new deals between each whipping. And this dude was showing off the marks that were left. OUCH! There were welts multiple inches across, and at least three of the whips broke the fuckin skin! Anyway they realized that eventually this dude's ass wouldn't be able to take anymore, but we still needed entertainment. So they decide that they want to see the big guy in the next dorm whip the little guy for a while! LOL We can't hear eachother, only see eachother in the other dorms. So they are gesturing and demonstrating to these guys how to make a rat tail. The little guy that was getting whipped showed off his welts, and they whipped him again while the guys in the other dorm were watching so they'd get the idea. Christ this was funny! It was like watching monkeys teach eachother to use tools or something. Eventually the guys in the other dorm get the hang of it and start whipping eachother too. All in all a pretty fun night for being stuck in fuckin jail haha.
The next day was pretty mellow. Slept a good part of the day since I didn't get to the night before. Pretty much the same old shit as in the cell block. No one was really a hard ass. No one wanted trouble. I mean the possibility existed. But it was pretty much like high school detention but it lasted a lot longer. There were two near fights, but they were all weekend guys LOL. Other than that the weekend went off pretty much as normal. 3 down only 2 more to go :)
 
This weekend we got put up in south house again. Other than the screwed up sleeping schedule, I don't really mind it. At least we always have books up there. That one weekend without anything to read was the worst. Time just dragged that weekend. I actually got to re-read a book I enjoyed as a kid. So that was cool. Didn't have to deal with deputy cornhole this weekend either lol. Did get to witness a little bit of jailhouse justice this weekend though hehe. Let me start by saying that last weekend there were about 30 dudes up in south house S2 before the weekenders got there. With us the number got bumped to 50 . This weekend there were only 10 dudes before we got there, which made for a more quiet weekend. Most of the 10 guys left were all dudes that were there last weekend too. Anyway, on Saturday afternoon about 3pm or so. A bunch of the mexican guys were playing dominoes on an empty bunk, using it as a table. Well aparently the guy sleeping on the bottom bunk was trying to sleep or something. So this dude kicks the underside of the bunk and knocks their dominoes all over the place. All 5 of these mexican dudes are screaming at him "Fuck you dog!" "I'll kick your ass dog!" "Get the fuck up and let's do this dog!" (did I ever mention every sentence uttered in the south house contains the word "dog" at least once haha). The other guy just yelled back at them. Told them to fuck off and that he didn't need their bullshit. Everything looked like it defused for a couple minutes. Then the dude got up and went to the toilets. 5 mexicans followed him in there and kicked his ass! The guy landed at least one good shot cause the dude that was bunked next to me got his eye cut and blackened. But with 5 on 1 the dude got beat down. A little while after all the action, the guy comes out of the bathroom all beat up. The mexicans tell him to rollup his shit and get the fuck out. "Roll the fuck up dog and get the fuck out dog!" Roll up means roll up your bedding and wait by the door. It's a sign to the deputies that you need to be rehoused or there will be trouble. So the dep came in and asked what the problem was and they just said that dude needed to be rolled. So the dep moved the guy over into S3. As I've mentioned before, all the walls are clear. So we can see into the other dorms. And if you recall I mentioned that there were a lot fewer dudes in S2 this weekend than last. Well all those other dudes, the rest of the mexicans and such, they all got moved into S3 to make more room for weekenders. And they all just watched their homies beat the fuck out of this dude and roll him out. That poor bastard wasn't in the next dorm more than 10 minutes before 6 mexican guys dragged him into the showers over there and beat his ass again! So they fucked this dude up and rolled him out of there too. LOL. The deps got pissed and put us all on lockdown after that. But I imagine that dude probably got his ass whipped again wherever they put him. Some people might think that sounds harsh and all, but I don't feel sorry for that guy. I mean he was the one who decided to get confrontational and start the problem. I'm not about to tell you these mexican guys are sweet kids or anything, but I talked to them; played chess with some of them even. If he had just said "hey guys I'm sleeping here. Can you move your game somewhere else?" they would have moved. They are reasonable guys. And believe it or not most people aren't looking for a fight in there. If you bring one to them, they are going to accept it. But I never had anyone cause any shit with me in there. Anyway, that was pretty much all the excitement for this weekend. The rest of the time I was reading. I think I spent way to much time in my bunk as a result of that because my back is fucking killing me! I could barely move last when we got home.
 
Hell yeah! This past weekend was my last weekend in jail! Time served! I am really glad to be done with it all. But I don't think it has really hit me yet. The fact remains that I haven't had a day off work that I didn't spend in a jail cell in something like 7 weeks. Seriously, all I do is work, go to jail, and go to DUI classes and AA meetings. But I will finally get a well deserved break this weekend. I feel like a runner at the end of a long race. I can see the finish line, and I'm excited. But there's still 25 miles behind me that I just ran, and fuck am I tired. I can't wait to relax this weekend. Although I've got this whole moving mess over my head now too. Sanaz and I need to find a new place on the westside. With her being the only driver, commuting from Glendale to Culver City just isn't feasible anymore. But I am definitely taking one day for myself this weekend.
Anyway, this weekend was pretty boring. It took forever to pass just cause I was so excited about being done. I don't really have any great stories, except for this real dumb bastard that entertained me cause the depth of his idiocy was so amazing. Now this guy was the most stereotypical dumb fuck excuse for a gangbanger I've ever seen. Do you remember In Living Color from back in the day when Damon Wayans played the homeless dude... picture that guy as a wannabe gangbanger. Anyway I'm sitting and talking with Wilkins, one of the guys I've been talking to in there this whole time. This dumb guy likes Wilkins because he is black too. Dumb guy comes over and starts talking to Wilkins. Wilkins says he's seen the dude before.. "hey didn't I see you waking [somewhere] with this thick little blonde chick?" Aand they figure out yeah that was Dumb guy. Aparently that same chick talked him into robbing her aunt's house, and that's what landed the moron in jail. Now Wilkins is just interested in this chick. He's never met her before, but he's talking about fucking her and whatever. And so the two of them are talking about sex with this underage girl and shit. So wilkins is like shit dude give me her number so I can get my dick sucked when I get outta here. And Dumb Guy is like all right man, here's her number, you go fuck that bitch and beat her up for me. LOL So Wilkins says sure he'll go screw this chick and then beat up for this dude... win, win I guess. I'm just laughing cause I know Wilkins ain't gonna do shit other than fuck this bitch. He's not going to beat up anyone. So this guy leaves and he comes back a little while later. "Seriously man you do that shit for me, I will get you an ounce of chronic nigga." And he goes on about beating her up some more. Then he leaves again and comes back in about 10 minutes. "All right check this out, you shoot that bitch for and I will give you 2Gs!" ROFL!! This crackhead was dead serious too! It took every ounce of self restraint I had not to bust out laughing in his face. Wilkins says "Whoa man I ain't about all that." And Dumb Guy goes on about how he's got the gun and it's registered to some dude and 2Gs man! LOL He walked away again. I looked at wilkins and said "fuck man what's wrong with you?! You should do that shit. 2 Gs is a lot of fuckin money!" LMAO! This dude seriously thought that would be enough money to talk someone into murder! And he was so serious about it, that he came back to cover his tracks!! When he walked away he must have been bragging to one of his homies about it. And that dude must have told him that he probably shouldn't be talking that shit with 2 dudes he's never met before LOL. He came back and told us that he was just kidding about all that. That was my entertainment for the week. LOL. Oh and I am the undisputed chess champion of the south house LOL. Damn I am glad to be finished with that shit! Now I just need to get my license back and get off probation and all will be well :)
 
I spent 3 days in county jail for a combination of knucklehead moves. Totally humiliating when they make ya take that cold shower then zap ya with the white fungus powder from like 10 feet away....then you get the prison uniform. I was in a section with short-timers in for under 3 months - DUI, child support, stealing a tv or something, fighting, etc. The food sucked hard but it was totally safe; just boring as hell. It was interesting to go around and see what people were in for.
 
  • Like
Reactions: jh1
Dial_tone said:
I spent 3 days in county jail for a combination of knucklehead moves. Totally humiliating when they make ya take that cold shower then zap ya with the white fungus powder from like 10 feet away....then you get the prison uniform. I was in a section with short-timers in for under 3 months - DUI, child support, stealing a tv or something, fighting, etc. The food sucked hard but it was totally safe; just boring as hell. It was interesting to go around and see what people were in for.
Click to expand...


Interesting for you... for me it more than likely would have ended up a carnal experience that I wasn't a willing participant in.... :worried:

If we ever end up in the pen together... will you be my friend?
 
SoreArms said:
Fuck that place, I never want to go back to jail, not even for the night.
Click to expand...
I almost forgot that I did go back after this when I got my DUI. Does that make me a repeat offender, a hard criminal, the kind you don't take home to motha?
 
SoreArms said:
I almost forgot that I did go back after this when I got my DUI. Does that make me a repeat offender, a hard criminal, the kind you don't take home to motha?
Click to expand...


How long was your second stay?
 
Never been.

However, if by chance I should ever find myself in that situation, I'll just join up with the Mexican Mafia.....



DIV

:chomp:
 
If you go to a california prison -- DEFINATELY join the mexican mafia. Don't waste your time with the panthers or the aryans.
 
Subzeero said:
Can someone get into details of what type of food you get to eat? I am really curious.
Click to expand...

baloney & cheese sandwiches, milk, fruit, rock hard rolls, meat loaf....completely flavorless.
 
I'd hang myself in LA county jail...that's hard time
 
Was in jail a few times. Only once where it extended past a day (almost 2). Its the fucking worst, but I dont have anything on my record. Always the same shit, for fighting.

The worst though was being arrested in Turkey for protecting my gf. Over there it is always the girls fault if some guy decides to get touchy feely. Especially if she is a foreignor dressed "like a slut." They literally tell you she was asking for it.

They fucked me up. I thought I was going to die, for real.
 
JerseyArt said:
Was in jail a few times. Only once where it extended past a day (almost 2). Its the fucking worst, but I dont have anything on my record. Always the same shit, for fighting.

The worst though was being arrested in Turkey for protecting my gf. Over there it is always the girls fault if some guy decides to get touchy feely. Especially if she is a foreignor dressed "like a slut." They literally tell you she was asking for it.

They fucked me up. I thought I was going to die, for real.
Click to expand...


why you always fighting?

Yeah... the turks... famous for never finishing a job...
 
The Ejaculator said:
why you always fighting?

Yeah... the turks... famous for never finishing a job...
Click to expand...

LOL
Fuck you ;)

Don't date tramps LOL
 
JerseyArt said:
Was in jail a few times. Only once where it extended past a day (almost 2). Its the fucking worst, but I dont have anything on my record. Always the same shit, for fighting.

The worst though was being arrested in Turkey for protecting my gf. Over there it is always the girls fault if some guy decides to get touchy feely. Especially if she is a foreignor dressed "like a slut." They literally tell you she was asking for it.

They fucked me up. I thought I was going to die, for real.
Click to expand...

You learned a valuable lesson, JA...

Don't fuck with the Turks....ever.

When I was stationed in Germany (Frankfurt), the inner-city was rampant with Turkish gangs......those dudes are ruthless. They'll gang up on you and cut you up......a few soldiers killed that way for opening their mouths to the wrong people.


DIV

:chomp:
 
DIVISION said:
You learned a valuable lesson, JA...

Don't fuck with the Turks....ever.

When I was stationed in Germany (Frankfurt), the inner-city was rampant with Turkish gangs......those dudes are ruthless. They'll gang up on you and cut you up......a few soldiers killed that way for opening their mouths to the wrong people.


DIV

:chomp:
Click to expand...


NO shit

They are mean mothers. Will gut you like a fish

Bastards are all so poor. The cops are the worst ones. Its not only her fault for being a whore, but your fasult for letting her act like one (whore=dressed in any western style apparel)
 
JerseyArt said:
The cops are the worst ones. Its not only her fault for being a whore, but your fasult for letting her act like one (whore=dressed in any western style apparel)
Click to expand...

That being the case, you should have regulated on her ass and made her dress in something reasonable for the culture. Would have saved your ass alot of fucking trouble, holmes.


DIV

:chomp:
 
DIVISION said:
That being the case, you should have regulated on her ass and made her dress in something reasonable for the culture. Would have saved your ass alot of fucking trouble, holmes.


DIV

:chomp:
Click to expand...


Yeah bor, but if I had those skills, I would have saved myself a lot of aggravation in life.

Never tell people what to wear.
 
Spent a night in jail twice, once was issued the prison unifomr, in processed and given a room in a cell block with other short time guys.

Really, really unpleasant.

The food is quite difficult to describe: flavorless sandwiches with what must be a single slice of SPAM, some fruit punch that's all water, a meat loaf concoction that simply lacks any taste, and cornbread.

What I found kind of amusing was that anything could be contraband. Corn bread was hidden by inmates "for later". We had lockdown for chow, so everything was counted and all that shit, but guys would hide cornbread and then save it for later.

Weird. What could you trade it for? Do I want to know?

This was a county jail in FL; mostly small time shit, but FL's state prisons are so crowded that if you have a multi - year state prison sentence, you do your last year in the county jail.

I got out with another guy who was wrapping up ten yers for armed robbery. His name was Eugene, I think. So there were some bad dudes in there.

I don't really want to go back. They didn't even let me keep my wrist bracelet.
 
bladder of milk, cheese sandwhich and piece of fruit for breakfast. sandwhich for lunch with fruit and juice. Dinner: meat source, beans and juice
 
Actually i signed up for a tour of the Santa Barbara jail here in cali. You can sign up for it online by searching for "santa barbara jail tour". Just waiting for the date. Should be fun. :)
 
MattTheSkywalker said:
Spent a night in jail twice, once was issued the prison unifomr, in processed and given a room in a cell block with other short time guys.
Click to expand...

You were an officer in the ARMY, how the fuck did you end up doing time?

WTF Did U Do?


What's up Matthew?



DIV

:chomp:
 
Subzeero said:
Can someone get into details of what type of food you get to eat? I am really curious.
Click to expand...

Low protein, low fat, high carbs. In other words, pure shit. Jails in Canada aren't that bad. If you end up in a provincial prison then you get the benefit of the "Trailer" (spend 24h with your GF or a hooker in a trailer). Lots of drugs inside, some gang issues but mostly, a not so bad place to be. It's very common among homeless to do a felony in autumn so they get to spend winter inside.

Federal prisons are a different game. It's all about gangs and the "wings" (that's how they call the pen gangs). If you get in then just make sure to be on the right side.
 
im in jail as we speak. the guard is typing for me.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

K
more libido at night
Replies
7
Views
792
ceo
ceo
V
getting more out of my training with herbal supps
Replies
6
Views
374
2Thick
2Thick
Y
scared of spiked products
Replies
14
Views
1K
RoySimpson
RoySimpson
hypogaeum
Approved Log Testosterone HGH Retatrutide Log - Sponsored by UGL OZ
Replies
16
Views
1K
the_alcatraz
the_alcatraz
B
help with no energy during workouts
Replies
8
Views
503
Arabian
Arabian
Top Bottom