Possibly suicidal girl, help

[tempest2003]

well shes been broken up with her bf for about 3 months now, and cry every night. hes a fucking dickhead and i want to kill him. but shes serriously loosing it now, crying her self to sleep every night, she cant go back to him, its not an option period. should I talk to her mom? does anyone have any suggestions? what can I do? i talk to her all the time and tell her all th great things she has in life and how great i think she is, and how much I love her, but it doesnt seem to help. please someone? thanks......

 

[Mandinka2]

Personal story this time:
I was really depressed about 2 years ago when my ex burned the house down around me , cheated on me two weeks before my final exams. Another girl to whom I am forever thankful and greatful travelled from Italy to Ireland just to spend a few nights with me and hold me (nothin else happened even though shes really hot). That may sound mushy as shit but it got me thru much more than the anti-depressives the doc put me on. Mille Grazie Cristina.

 

[tempest2003]

well hes calling her every day, and has been for the last 3 months screaming at her, and harassing her, and every time he sees her. Im afraid if i am too harsh with her i will make it worse

 

[vinylgroover]

She is the one that has to make the effort to ignore him. Change her phone numbers......tell her parents not to take her ex's calls, just ignore the guy.

 

[gettinlarger]

I highly doubt she's suicidal.

How long were they together. How old is she?

 

[sigweed]

definitly teenage

man, teenage girls are the most ridiculous, irrational creatures on earth. They were probably going out for 2 months or something

 

[gettinlarger]

definitly teenage

man, teenage girls are the most ridiculous, irrational creatures on earth. They were probably going out for 2 months or something

I was thinking the exact same thing.

 

[Outtlaw]

I say give her a little push mentally. Dare her to do the deed. Most people that think they're suicidal are full of shit anyways. I bet she wouldnt have the guts to do it.

 

[anabolicmd]

I think you need to get out of the way untill she sorts things out with her ex. Unless you are a masochist, then you might enjoy the drama. My advice: move on.

 

[Code]

She's a drama queen.

Give her a gun and she'll back down.

 

[anabolicmd]

Note to self: Don't count on OuttLaw, anabolicmd, and Code in times of great need.

Not true. You can count on me for cold, hard slap back to reality anytime!

 

[slickdadd]

Note to self: Don't count on OuttLaw, anabolicmd, and Code in times of great need.

 

[gettinlarger]

She's a drama queen.

Give her a gun and she'll back down.

I agree with you. However, if the girl is in fact like 17, then she falls into the category of being completely irrational and braindead. She might pull the trigger.

Or she'll miss on purpose, and pull the stunt for attention.

 

[pulseworm]

She's a drama queen.

Give her a gun and she'll back down.

i agree with code on this one. supply her with a gun and scream at her to pull the trigger, maybe even slap her a few times. if she does, problem solved, if she doesn't, then you don't have to worry anymore.

code i'll take you off my cool guy list for now.

 

[hardrock]

Why the fuck is she talking to him. Tell her to get a restraining order against him if he's making her suicidal. Have the police pay him a little visit, or better yet beat his fucking ass yourself. Sounds to me like she's not trying very hard to forget or get over him.

 

[Code]

You are not qualified to help her. Tell her this and give her some numbers to call.


Or use my gun approach.

 

[tempest2003]

they were together almost 2 years.... shes 17....

 

[gettinlarger]

17?? Tell her to get a fucking grip and grow up.

 

[velvett]

well shes been broken up with her bf for about 3 months now, and cry every night. hes a fucking dickhead and i want to kill him. but shes serriously loosing it now, crying her self to sleep every night, she cant go back to him, its not an option period. should I talk to her mom? does anyone have any suggestions? what can I do? i talk to her all the time and tell her all th great things she has in life and how great i think she is, and how much I love her, but it doesnt seem to help. please someone? thanks......

I'm confused.

Who broke up with whom?
Why did they break up?
Why is getting back together not an option?
And who are YOU to her? (ie. are you looking to get into her pants?)

 

[anabolicmd]

Re: Re: Possibly suicidal girl, help

I'm confused.

Who broke up with whom?
Why did they break up?
Why is getting back together not an option?
And who are YOU to her? (ie. are you looking to get into her pants?)

Hes just a concerned citizen who's a little horny...

 

[flexygrl]

This is a perfectly normal teenage problem. She really needs to get on with her life. To be honest, no one will get to her to wise up,except her. You should talk to her mom, just so someone is watching her at all times. Whey the hell is she picking up the phone, when he calls. That guy sound like such an asshole!!!

 

[tempest2003]

okay u fucks, god some times u guys piss me off. Im a friend of hers and have been for a long time, but she likes me now, but is still having a really hard time getting over this guy, shes afraid to love again after what happened.

 

[velvett]

okay u fucks, god some times u guys piss me off. Im a friend of hers and have been for a long time, but she likes me now, but is still having a really hard time getting over this guy, shes afraid to love again after what happened.

A piece of advice.

Back off and let her deal through this on her own, if you are sincerly concerned about her mental or physical health and are close enough to her parents perhaps you could express your concern.

By you telling her what a wonderful life she has when she feels like her world is over will not help her it will only make you feel better thinking that you are helping her (for your own self interest btw) and make her feel worse. Continue and you will simply push her further away from you.

If she really wanted to be over him she would not accept his calls.


If you love her as you say you do let her find her own way to you if that is to happen at all.


Harsh but true.

 

[IAMNOTKAYNE]

SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED WITH HER AND THATS PROBABLY FUELING THE REASON YOU HATE HIM.

WHY CANT SHE GO BACK TO HIM? IF SHE WANTS TO GO BACK TO HIM (PROVIDING HE DOESNT BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HER)...ITS REALLY NOONES BUSINESS. IF HE IS BAD FOR HER AND SHE KEEPS GOING BACK TO HIM, SHE DESERVES TO BE EMOTIONALLY ABUSED. THATS ALL SHE IS ASKING FOR.

JUST DO WHAT YOU CAN TO HELP HER. DONT SIT THERE AND TELL HER WHAT AN ASSHOLE HE IS OR HOW GREAT YOU ARE. JUST BE THERE FOR HER. DONT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING EMOTIONAL WITH HER......TALK ABOUT THINGS THAT WILL HELP HER GET HER MIND OFF OF SHIT.

(FIGURED I'D GET IN ATLEAST ONE SENSIBLE POST BEFORE THIS HANDLE GOT BANNED).



KAYNE

 

[anabolicmd]

I dont think theyll ban you dude, water under the bridge.

 

[gettinlarger]

okay u fucks, god some times u guys piss me off. Im a friend of hers and have been for a long time, but she likes me now, but is still having a really hard time getting over this guy, shes afraid to love again after what happened.

Homey, there's no reason to get angry. Relax.

 

[IAMNOTKAYNE]

I dont think theyll ban you dude, water under the bridge.

LOL........TIME WILL TELL.

 

[spongebob]

i find it almost frightening how almost everyone belittles someone elses problem, i guess everone here just settles things with a snap of the fingers. if you dont have the capacity to understand that a situation is handled differently by different people you should not post on here, it only makes you look ignorant IMO.

 

[gettinlarger]

i find it almost frightening how almost everyone belittles someone elses problem, i guess everone here just settles things with a snap of the fingers. if you dont have the capacity to understand that a situation is handled differently by different people you should not post on here, it only makes you look ignorant IMO.

I understand what you're saying bro, but I've been through this entire situation before. More than once. Blah blah blah, if I can't live without him, I'll kill myself. It's either for attention, or ignorance. She's 17. She'll get over it.

tempest, you need to tell her to get over it. Sternly. I did this once to a good friend of mine a few years ago. At the time, I think she was 17 or 18. I told her to stop crying over the dumb fuck she had dated for 2+ years, and then I totally ignored her. She snapped out of that soon enough.

 

[Code]

i find it almost frightening how almost everyone belittles someone elses problem, i guess everone here just settles things with a snap of the fingers. if you dont have the capacity to understand that a situation is handled differently by different people you should not post on here, it only makes you look ignorant IMO.

1.) Anyone who seeks help regarding something as immediate and serious as suicide is just looking for attention.

2.) The internet suicide thing is *old*, very old. It's trite and anyone who panders to it just breathes more life into this trash.

3.) If it was real they would seek *professional* help, not help from *this* chat forum. We're a buncha yahoos that simply cannot take this crap seriously.

 

[louden_swain]

Sounds normal. . .might be a basket case. .

Someone needs to give her a good ride to settle her down.

 

[velvett]

i find it almost frightening how almost everyone belittles someone elses problem, i guess everone here just settles things with a snap of the fingers. if you dont have the capacity to understand that a situation is handled differently by different people you should not post on here, it only makes you look ignorant IMO.

Seems pretty clear to me.

Boy and girl date
Boy and girl break up
Girl very sad about the break up boy
Friend of girl wants to be new beau of break up girl.


Need Proof?
Just read.

well shes been broken up with her bf for about 3 months now, and cry every night. hes a fucking dickhead and i want to kill him. but shes serriously loosing it now, crying her self to sleep every night, she cant go back to him, its not an option period. should I talk to her mom? does anyone have any suggestions? what can I do? i talk to her all the time and tell her all th great things she has in life and how great i think she is, and how much I love her, but it doesnt seem to help. please someone? thanks......

snip

Im a friend of hers and have been for a long time, but she likes me now, but is still having a really hard time getting over this guy, shes afraid to love again after what happened

I rest my case.

 

[flexygrl]

Vel,

He's just pissed cause he didn't get the answer he wanted. Everyone including you and I came back with the same response. Was he expecting us to say, say this to her and it will solve all of your problems? It's not that easy. What a peice of work coming on here and insulting everybody. We are all much wiser and older than you and have been around the block a time or too, but if you think you know more, then by all means, just keep doing what you are doing.

I have bad news for you. You are the REBOUND guy!!!! She is going to use you and throw you to the curb.

I hope that I am wrong. I sincerely do, but I have most certainly been there before. When I was 17 and my first bf dumped me, I started dating right away. I remember this really sweet guy taking me to a beautiful restaurant, showering me with attention and me, crying and talking about my ex.

Good luck.

 

[spongebob]

1.) Anyone who seeks help regarding something as immediate and serious as suicide is just looking for attention.

2.) The internet suicide thing is *old*, very old. It's trite and anyone who panders to it just breathes more life into this trash.

3.) If it was real they would seek *professional* help, not help from *this* chat forum. We're a buncha yahoos that simply cannot take this crap seriously.

1. remember, this is the guy posting a question, not the girl.

2. again, this is the guy posting a question, not the girl.

3. for the third time, this is the guy posting a question, not the girl.

 

[spongebob]

I understand what you're saying bro, but I've been through this entire situation before. More than once. Blah blah blah, if I can't live without him, I'll kill myself. It's either for attention, or ignorance. She's 17. She'll get over it.

your absolutely right for the most part. i actually knew someone who blew thier brains out over a girl. so it does happen. regardless whether its for attention or out of ignorance doesnt make the problem go away. for some, like yourself as you explained, need attention or are ignorant. so by saying give her a gun and dare her as someone said doesnt solve the problem. giving attention and educating solves the problem.

 

[spongebob]

Seems pretty clear to me.

Boy and girl date
Boy and girl break up
Girl very sad about the break up boy
Friend of girl wants to be new beau of break up girl.


Need Proof?
Just read.




I rest my case.

you seem to be addressing his problem not hers which is where my comments were directed at, her problem and the responses directed at her problem. maybe he's lying, maybe she isnt crying herself to sleep everynight and is just fine. but like i said my comments were directed at the ones who basically said give her a gun and dare her.

 

[tempest2003]

her brother also killed him self about 6 years ago over a bad breakup with a girl.........

 

[Frackal]

In that case I would say you need to contact her parents and explain things to them....they (hopefully) will take the proper actions... suicide DOES run in families.

 

[circusgirl]

OK. I am now 28. When I was 18, I went out with a guy for 6 months who I fell for absolutely. I mean, I thought the sun shone outta his ass. He treated me like crap and dumped me after my exams.

I cried almost every night for 6 months. I was inconsolable. However, he left me alone and I didn't have to see him every day, and I got over it.

I would say, just be nice and friendly. BUT if her ex is continually calling her and screaming at her, this rings alarm bells for me. Was he like this before they broke up? If so, it could be that he has developed a "need" to be abusive towards her and the daily calls is a way of him getting his "hit" of abuse at her expense. However much she may still care about him, she needs to cut him off change her number and get a restraining order against this guy.

It is hard, sometimes when you leave someone and you would rather not have, any contact with them is better than none at all, but this just makes things worse.

if she is talking about suicide then you need to take this seriously. Contrary to waht Code and others say, the old wives tale that anyone who talks about suicide by definition isn't serious about it is total bullshit. People who off themselves tend to obsess over the topic for months before hand. I think this is because we as humans have a natural instict to survive, and it takes a lot of mental conditioning over a long time to override that, no matter how shitty things may see.

What someone who is talking about feeling suicidal is unconsciously doing is saying "I feel I have no option but to take my own life. I want you or someone else to give me a reason to believe that I DESERVE to stay alive".

It's common for people who have been in relationships where the SO is controlling or abusive (eg harassing and screaming) to feel suicidal when the SOs approval is withdrawn, as they have become dependent on the SOs approval for self-validatino. They then feel they SHOULD kill themsevles as they think they are a loser and a burden. What you need to do is get this girl to improve her self esteem and see that she does deserve help, love and friendship, then she will understand that this guy is a loser.

Remember, a 17 year old's probelms are important to HER. And if she's not around due to suicide, she will never get to reflect on how unimportant these seem 10 years down the line.

 

[gettinlarger]

her brother also killed him self about 6 years ago over a bad breakup with a girl.........

Jesus Christ man. If I were you, I wouldn't be anywhere NEAR this chick. She's a psycho waiting to happen.

In that case I would say you need to contact her parents and explain things to them....they (hopefully) will take the proper actions... suicide DOES run in families.[/B]

Yes. Do that. Seriously. Now.

 

[Code]

1. remember, this is the guy posting a question, not the girl.

2. again, this is the guy posting a question, not the girl.

3. for the third time, this is the guy posting a question, not the girl.

1.) Guy = drama queen
2.) Guy = drama queen
3.) Guy = drama queen

 

[Code]

giving attention and educating solves the problem.

Ahh, attention solves the problem. I see, not counseling or professional help.

 

[spongebob]

OK. I am now 28. When I was 18, I went out with a guy for 6 months who I fell for absolutely. I mean, I thought the sun shone outta his ass. He treated me like crap and dumped me after my exams.

I cried almost every night for 6 months. I was inconsolable. However, he left me alone and I didn't have to see him every day, and I got over it.

I would say, just be nice and friendly. BUT if her ex is continually calling her and screaming at her, this rings alarm bells for me. Was he like this before they broke up? If so, it could be that he has developed a "need" to be abusive towards her and the daily calls is a way of him getting his "hit" of abuse at her expense. However much she may still care about him, she needs to cut him off change her number and get a restraining order against this guy.

It is hard, sometimes when you leave someone and you would rather not have, any contact with them is better than none at all, but this just makes things worse.

if she is talking about suicide then you need to take this seriously. Contrary to waht Code and others say, the old wives tale that anyone who talks about suicide by definition isn't serious about it is total bullshit. People who off themselves tend to obsess over the topic for months before hand. I think this is because we as humans have a natural instict to survive, and it takes a lot of mental conditioning over a long time to override that, no matter how shitty things may see.

What someone who is talking about feeling suicidal is unconsciously doing is saying "I feel I have no option but to take my own life. I want you or someone else to give me a reason to believe that I DESERVE to stay alive".

It's common for people who have been in relationships where the SO is controlling or abusive (eg harassing and screaming) to feel suicidal when the SOs approval is withdrawn, as they have become dependent on the SOs approval for self-validatino. They then feel they SHOULD kill themsevles as they think they are a loser and a burden. What you need to do is get this girl to improve her self esteem and see that she does deserve help, love and friendship, then she will understand that this guy is a loser.

Remember, a 17 year old's probelms are important to HER. And if she's not around due to suicide, she will never get to reflect on how unimportant these seem 10 years down the line.

very insightful post.

 

[spongebob]

1.) Guy = drama queen
2.) Guy = drama queen
3.) Guy = drama queen

i thought with your intelligence(i really mean that) that you would have understood what i was saying. again, and follow closely, my comments were directed at the previous comments suggesting that the girl(the girl is the one with a problem) was just seeking attention and needed to be handed a gun and dared to do it. i simply stated that what may seem trivial to one person can be a serious problem for another.

somehow you have fixated your internet wit on tempest2003 while not even coming close to addressing what i said. so you see, whether or not he his a drama queen or not doesnt matter, the girl still may have a serious problem. i understand you wanna be an internet comedian, which is fine but if you cant understand what were really talking about the i'll quit responding.

 

[spongebob]

Ahh, attention solves the problem. I see, not counseling or professional help.

very easy here.......internet wit with a hint of smartass towards me while ever so slightly trying to contribute to the problem now. yes counseling of some type is a good suggestion.

 

[Code]

i thought with your intelligence(i really mean that) that you would have understood what i was saying. again, and follow closely, my comments were directed at the previous comments suggesting that the girl(the girl is the one with a problem) was just seeking attention and needed to be handed a gun and dared to do it. i simply stated that what may seem trivial to one person can be a serious problem for another.

somehow you have fixated your internet wit on tempest2003 while not even coming close to addressing what i said. so you see, whether or not he his a drama queen or not doesnt matter, the girl still may have a serious problem. i understand you wanna be an internet comedian, which is fine but if you cant understand what were really talking about the i'll quit responding.

I doubt very highly she has a serious problem. Especially if she's still just threatening suicide. She's just a girl who wants tempest's attention and he is complying....as long as the ploy works she's gonna keep playing the game.

I don't think tempest is a drama queen, I just think the answer would be OBVIOUS, alert parents and step out of the picture until she comes to terms with need for attention.

As for everyone else here, all up in arms over some poor girl suffering some serious mental breakdown and advising tempest to continue pandering to her shit....they're all just tools.

 

[spongebob]

As for everyone else here, all up in arms over some poor girl suffering some serious mental breakdown and advising tempest to continue pandering to her shit....they're all just tools.

tool? wasnt that last years key phrase everyone was using on here? as if you have just won the arguement, "your a tool". i hope something happens to one of your family members, maybe even one of your kids will commit suicide. then we'll see who the tool is. peace out ignorant fuck!

 

[louden_swain]

Someone pull out the song:

"17" (1988) Winger

Shes only 17. . . . .17!!!

Seriously though, she will get over it, but she needs some emotional support from her family and friends. . .medication is not needed.

 

[velvett]

I still want to know why she is accepting his phone calls.

And why they broke up and who broke up with whom.

 

[p0ink]

why are you people acting as if this is some kind of bad thing?

 

[velvett]

why are you people acting as if this is some kind of bad thing?

I thought everyone was just being, nosy, bored and completely self-righteous in regard to their opinions.

 

[spongebob]

why are you people acting as if this is some kind of bad thing?

what suicide? i actually believe in suicide.

 

[p0ink]

velvett and spongebob,

i think my signature sums up my feelings pretty well.

"Moral weaklings are a danger to society, in whatever line their failures lie. If they are so amiable as to kill themselves, it is a crime to interfere."

 

[biteme]

velvett and spongebob,

i think my signature sums up my feelings pretty well.

"Moral weaklings are a danger to society, in whatever line their failures lie. If they are so amiable as to kill themselves, it is a crime to interfere."

It is immoral to want to die? I wonder if you'd feel that way if it were your child or a family member?

 

[velvett]

"Moral weaklings are a danger to society, in whatever line their failures lie. If they are so amiable as to kill themselves, it is a crime to interfere."

There is truth in that - until of course you are introduced to your own weakness and failure.

 

[louden_swain]

Here is a serious question:

Does this girl use any tobacco other drugs or alcohol?

 

[louden_swain]

Is she on any medication?

 

[p0ink]

yes, if people are that ridiculous and have that little respect for their own life, why should it be such a bad thing if they killed themselves? do you want people like this raising children? do you want someone like this fucking someone else up as well?

when people are willing to take their own life because of some asinine reason such as a fucking break up, it means they were weak to begin with and society would be better off without them.

 

[p0ink]

There is truth in that - until of course you are introduced to your own weakness and failure.

no one is perfect, but when they deliberately put themselves in precarious situations such as heavy drug abuse, excessive gambling debt, bad relationships, etc it is hard for me to have any sympathy for them.

 

[Frackal]

Sometimes people, when going through extraordinarily harsh emotional and mental stress, do not think clearly enough to be held entirely responsible for their mistakes.

This girl's life is not worthless because she has thought about ending it.

Some of you are pretty heartless though.

 

[biteme]

Sometimes
Some of you are pretty heartless though.

They are called Republicans. J/K sort of.

 

[circusgirl]

p0ink pushed one of my buttons here so... I'mnot going to rant....

...but.....

any of you folks who think the suicidal should just off themselves ever give any thought to the fact that these people may be mentally ill? Mental illness makes you pretty damn crazy. And there IS a cure. 80% of folks with depression recover on the first me they are given. That is what my GP told me.

Maybe it seems like she is getting all worked up over nothing, but it could be a sign of underlying undiagnosed illness. Either way, she needs to see a doc. Now.

 

[gettinlarger]

I'm going to have to go ahead and agree with p0ink on this one.

 

[velvett]

no one is perfect, but when they deliberately put themselves in precarious situations such as heavy drug abuse, excessive gambling debt, bad relationships, etc it is hard for me to have any sympathy for them.

Interesting point - hell, I even feel the same way sometimes.


However, in this particular case none of us have enough info or experience with this girl to create any type of judgement

 

[spongebob]

velvett and spongebob,

i think my signature sums up my feelings pretty well.

"Moral weaklings are a danger to society, in whatever line their failures lie. If they are so amiable as to kill themselves, it is a crime to interfere."

exactly, thats why i said i agree with suicide. but the compassionate side of me wants to help if at all possible.

 

[gettinlarger]

exactly, thats why i said i agree with suicide. but the compassionate side of me wants to help if at all possible.

Compassion has gotten me nowhere. But, if you still have hope, good for you homey.

 

[spongebob]

yes, if people are that ridiculous and have that little respect for their own life, why should it be such a bad thing if they killed themselves? do you want people like this raising children? do you want someone like this fucking someone else up as well?

when people are willing to take their own life because of some asinine reason such as a fucking break up, it means they were weak to begin with and society would be better off without them.

you seem to be very black and white on this issue, i believe there are more shades of grey with people actually wanting and committing suicide.

 

[spongebob]

Compassion has gotten me nowhere. But, if you still have hope, good for you homey.

i dont think its hope i have, its just something bred into me by my father who would help anyone if they needed it. your right though there are many circumstances that has made us all hardened at one point or another. but i dont base my values on failures.

 

[gettinlarger]

but i dont base my values on failures.

I haven't failed with anything. I'm just sick of reaching for the stars for people. Gets me nowhere, except heartache.

 

[spongebob]

I haven't failed with anything. I'm just sick of reaching for the stars for people. Gets me nowhere, except heartache.

i wasnt talking about personal failures, im talking about when you do try to help people and all you get is heartache, as a failure. in other words im not gonna quit trying to help people.

 

[gettinlarger]

i wasnt talking about personal failures, im talking about when you do try to help people and all you get is heartache, as a failure. in other words im not gonna quit trying to help people.

Ah, i got ya. I'm not going to either. Just seems that whenever I do, I'm the one that ends up depressed. Oh well. I guess thats life.

 

[tempest2003]

as wrong as I thought you guys were you were right, she just needed a stern talking to, yes she cried, yes i was pissed, and yes i felt terrible about it, but now shes totaly just fallen for me, and is said shes going to do anthing and everything she can to make it work, could be a line, but i think shes for real. Thanks guys for all the help, and tips, i appreciate it, your a good group of guys...... and girls of course too =P

 

[Code]

as wrong as I thought you guys were you were right, she just needed a stern talking to, yes she cried, yes i was pissed, and yes i felt terrible about it, but now shes totaly just fallen for me, and is said shes going to do anthing and everything she can to make it work, could be a line, but i think shes for real. Thanks guys for all the help, and tips, i appreciate it, your a good group of guys...... and girls of course too =P

See now the gun thing, would have been a far quicker and cooler way to come to this conclusion.

 

[gettinlarger]

Glad she's falling for you dude. Be careful though ...