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I'm pissed off right now. A certain boy is being a prick.
pissed
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VeggieLifterChick
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deal. 
we were having a fight because i don't have respect for certain women who give up their dreams and ambitions to be housewives to men who will always be deployed. in particular, a certain 21 year old girl who is now going to have a child on top of giving everything up, with a guy who will be gone for a year.
anyway, boy just hung up on me, then called back to apologize, then said he wanted to smack me. so hung up. then he left me a message saying "you're fucked up to be so judgemental. have a nice weekend." who the hell tells his gf he wants to hit her and then doesn't apologize? ugh. even if i am judgemental, and i dont think there's anything wrong with being judgemental, that's no way to treat a girl. hmph.
we were having a fight because i don't have respect for certain women who give up their dreams and ambitions to be housewives to men who will always be deployed. in particular, a certain 21 year old girl who is now going to have a child on top of giving everything up, with a guy who will be gone for a year.
anyway, boy just hung up on me, then called back to apologize, then said he wanted to smack me. so hung up. then he left me a message saying "you're fucked up to be so judgemental. have a nice weekend." who the hell tells his gf he wants to hit her and then doesn't apologize? ugh. even if i am judgemental, and i dont think there's anything wrong with being judgemental, that's no way to treat a girl. hmph.
bwood
Banned
VeggieLifterChick said:deal.
we were having a fight because i don't have respect for certain women who give up their dreams and ambitions to be housewives to men who will always be deployed. in particular, a certain 21 year old girl who is now going to have a child on top of giving everything up, with a guy who will be gone for a year.
anyway, boy just hung up on me, then called back to apologize, then said he wanted to smack me. so hung up. then he left me a message saying "you're fucked up to be so judgemental. have a nice weekend." who the hell tells his gf he wants to hit her and then doesn't apologize? ugh. even if i am judgemental, and i dont think there's anything wrong with being judgemental, that's no way to treat a girl. hmph.
poor form...
now you are just baiting the usual group...
VeggieLifterChick said:deal.
we were having a fight because i don't have respect for certain women who give up their dreams and ambitions to be housewives to men who will always be deployed. in particular, a certain 21 year old girl who is now going to have a child on top of giving everything up, with a guy who will be gone for a year.
Are you saying that women should avoid men that are in the service???!
Sassy69
New member
Not to be judgemental... but its damn easy to have opinions on people in situations that you aren't in. A year ain't much to give up for a great husband and beautiful child. Getting knocked up because u had unprotected sex w/ some guy means u basically forfeit a lot of your choices about ambition etc. for responsibility.
One of my best friends from HS and our class valedictorian basically did what u are talking about. She finished an electrical engineering degree, graduated summa cum laude, had the entire degree paid for by scholarship & married a guy who got deployed in the navy sub program about 6 months out of college. She's got 3 beautiful, smart as hell kids and hasn't worked. She has moved her family about 10 times, including to Italy & back 2x while moving with her husband's assignments. Now she has 3 kids who are multi-lingual and she has been successfully writing childrens books for about 10 yrs.
I've got degrees up the yingyang, a successful job and I'm in my mid (to late) 30s, living w/ a cat and fucking hating life alone. So... yea I had all the opportunity in the world to follow my amibitions - I've accomplished every one of them that I set out to do. But I'm not real happy with the current outcome.
I guess its all relative, but its certainly not worth an argument that involves him wanting to smack you. Shit, keep it in perspective already.
One of my best friends from HS and our class valedictorian basically did what u are talking about. She finished an electrical engineering degree, graduated summa cum laude, had the entire degree paid for by scholarship & married a guy who got deployed in the navy sub program about 6 months out of college. She's got 3 beautiful, smart as hell kids and hasn't worked. She has moved her family about 10 times, including to Italy & back 2x while moving with her husband's assignments. Now she has 3 kids who are multi-lingual and she has been successfully writing childrens books for about 10 yrs.
I've got degrees up the yingyang, a successful job and I'm in my mid (to late) 30s, living w/ a cat and fucking hating life alone. So... yea I had all the opportunity in the world to follow my amibitions - I've accomplished every one of them that I set out to do. But I'm not real happy with the current outcome.
I guess its all relative, but its certainly not worth an argument that involves him wanting to smack you. Shit, keep it in perspective already.
VeggieLifterChick
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Sassy69 said:
good post. you need a dog.
C
Crazy Ivan
Guest
Better be pissed off than pissed on
VeggieLifterChick
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guards said:
Definitely. Unless they're into emotional masochism or submission.
vinylgroover
New member
Veggie,
You seem like the sort of girl who can't function in a relationship unless there is always some trivial drama gong on which ultimately satisfes your need for attention from the partner you happen to be with at the time.
You seem like the sort of girl who can't function in a relationship unless there is always some trivial drama gong on which ultimately satisfes your need for attention from the partner you happen to be with at the time.
VeggieLifterChick said:
I completely resent that statement. What about women in the service? Should men avoid women who have decided to serve?
I served in the army for just shy of ten years and pride myself on how i have treated my girlfriends. Not everyone needs someone at their beck and call ALL the time. I know MANY people who have been happily married for decades with one of the partners being in the service. There ARE people in this world who can subsist without the support of others, they are called strong people. Even when i was thousands of miles away in a place nobody else would want to be, I still knew that my girl loved me and I loved her. We both had lives that we wanted to live, lives that didn't require someone at your side at all times....we are strong people.
It's unfortunate that you take the stance that you do. It is also quite selfish. Some of us enjoy the excitement of travel, of new places, and serving our country proudly. There are thousands of YOUR fellow countrymen serving at this very moment, thousands of miles away from their families that they love and cherish, and you have the gall to call them emotionally masochistic for leaving their families behind?
I find your position truly repulsive.
VeggieLifterChick
New member
"I completely resent that statement."
- Of course you do. You're on the opposite end of it.
"What about women in the service? Should men avoid women who have decided to serve?"
- yes, absolutely.
"I served in the army for just shy of ten years and pride myself on how i have treated my girlfriends. Not everyone needs someone at their beck and call ALL the time. I know MANY people who have been happily married for decades with one of the partners being in the service. There ARE people in this world who can subsist without the support of others, they are called strong people."
-- Not saying I need him here ALL the time, but I calculated what percentage of the time I'll have spent with him by next June. By next June I will have spent 3 years being his girlfriend, and I'll have actually been in his presence physically for 10.95% of that time. The term you used, "subsist" as in emotional subsistence, is therefore very accurate. 90% of our lives will be lived without eachother. All because he's in the army.
"Even when i was thousands of miles away in a place nobody else would want to be, I still knew that my girl loved me and I loved her. We both had lives that we wanted to live, lives that didn't require someone at your side at all times....we are strong people. It's unfortunate that you take the stance that you do. It is also quite selfish. "
- See, this is why relationships where one person is in the military are so unbalanced. Because the relationship benefits you, the one who leaves. Its comforting for you to know you have someone who loves you waiting for you to come back. But what does she gain? Unless her life also involved a career that took up 90% of her time, she was losing out. You were cheating her out of a more fulfilled and happy, love-filled life. You were keeping her for yourself. That is quite selfish.
"Some of us enjoy the excitement of travel, of new places, and serving our country proudly. There are thousands of YOUR fellow countrymen serving at this very moment, thousands of miles away from their families that they love and cherish, and you have the gall to call them emotionally masochistic for leaving their families behind?"
--No, I call them sadistic and selfish. Masochistic describes the women who consent to that type of arrangement. Look, there's nothing wrong with following your thirst for excitement and travel, or glory, or whatever else. But there IS something wrong with doing it at the expense of someone else's happiness.
Consider: the girl I was referring to gave up her dreams and ambitions to come live in Bumblefuck, NY with her new husband. Then her huband got her pregnant at the young age of 21. And now he's going to be deployed for a year. I find that to be disgusting. If he wanted a family, he should have waited until he was done having his adventures. Now his poor wife has to raise this baby by herself. And I don't think he has the right to call himself a father if he's never around. And I think he's being a horrible husband by doing that to her - making her give up her dreams to put her behind the stove and pop out a child so that he can have a family waiting for him when he comes back. Its selfish. She gave everything up for him, and he's giving his all to the army, instead of to her. Like I said, imbalanced. Its irresponsible and selfish of anyone who is not going to be able to fulfill his role as a father to start a family. And its wrong of him to make her give up her life to sit around and wait for him.
So, I find your views repulsive.
- Of course you do. You're on the opposite end of it.
"What about women in the service? Should men avoid women who have decided to serve?"
- yes, absolutely.
"I served in the army for just shy of ten years and pride myself on how i have treated my girlfriends. Not everyone needs someone at their beck and call ALL the time. I know MANY people who have been happily married for decades with one of the partners being in the service. There ARE people in this world who can subsist without the support of others, they are called strong people."
-- Not saying I need him here ALL the time, but I calculated what percentage of the time I'll have spent with him by next June. By next June I will have spent 3 years being his girlfriend, and I'll have actually been in his presence physically for 10.95% of that time. The term you used, "subsist" as in emotional subsistence, is therefore very accurate. 90% of our lives will be lived without eachother. All because he's in the army.
"Even when i was thousands of miles away in a place nobody else would want to be, I still knew that my girl loved me and I loved her. We both had lives that we wanted to live, lives that didn't require someone at your side at all times....we are strong people. It's unfortunate that you take the stance that you do. It is also quite selfish. "
- See, this is why relationships where one person is in the military are so unbalanced. Because the relationship benefits you, the one who leaves. Its comforting for you to know you have someone who loves you waiting for you to come back. But what does she gain? Unless her life also involved a career that took up 90% of her time, she was losing out. You were cheating her out of a more fulfilled and happy, love-filled life. You were keeping her for yourself. That is quite selfish.
"Some of us enjoy the excitement of travel, of new places, and serving our country proudly. There are thousands of YOUR fellow countrymen serving at this very moment, thousands of miles away from their families that they love and cherish, and you have the gall to call them emotionally masochistic for leaving their families behind?"
--No, I call them sadistic and selfish. Masochistic describes the women who consent to that type of arrangement. Look, there's nothing wrong with following your thirst for excitement and travel, or glory, or whatever else. But there IS something wrong with doing it at the expense of someone else's happiness.
Consider: the girl I was referring to gave up her dreams and ambitions to come live in Bumblefuck, NY with her new husband. Then her huband got her pregnant at the young age of 21. And now he's going to be deployed for a year. I find that to be disgusting. If he wanted a family, he should have waited until he was done having his adventures. Now his poor wife has to raise this baby by herself. And I don't think he has the right to call himself a father if he's never around. And I think he's being a horrible husband by doing that to her - making her give up her dreams to put her behind the stove and pop out a child so that he can have a family waiting for him when he comes back. Its selfish. She gave everything up for him, and he's giving his all to the army, instead of to her. Like I said, imbalanced. Its irresponsible and selfish of anyone who is not going to be able to fulfill his role as a father to start a family. And its wrong of him to make her give up her life to sit around and wait for him.
So, I find your views repulsive.
VeggieLifterChick
New member
Guards,
I want to point out that you needn't take this as a personal attack, because I don't know what your own situation was. You're Canadian, and I'm not talking about Canada. Maybe things are different there.
I want to point out that you needn't take this as a personal attack, because I don't know what your own situation was. You're Canadian, and I'm not talking about Canada. Maybe things are different there.
p0ink
New member
you do realize you just dissed all of the house wife/moms here, don't you? i wonder what matter to them more? being a good employee for someone, or being a good mom.
you dont want to support a kid while your husband is deployed? ok, dont get fucking knocked up. it's that simple. if you do, dont come here asking for fucking sympathy.
you know what? i am happy as shit my mom was always around, while i was growing up, instead of working. you think some kid would rather have a bunch of toys than his own mother?
you dont want to support a kid while your husband is deployed? ok, dont get fucking knocked up. it's that simple. if you do, dont come here asking for fucking sympathy.
you know what? i am happy as shit my mom was always around, while i was growing up, instead of working. you think some kid would rather have a bunch of toys than his own mother?
B
Baoh
Guest
bwood said:
poor form...
now you are just baiting the usual group...
And how!
Darktooth said:
lol Exactly! But Sassy's too good for a dog of such low breeding.VeggieLifterChick said:
Fucked one, fucked them all, right? Or maybe you did fuck 'em all....
vinylgroover said:
You hit the nail on the head, my Greek. However, even with trivial drama, she doesn't exactly "function" in a relationship with drama. More like malfunction.
VeggieLifterChick said:
...says the retarded girl who plays at being an adult while she cheats on the very boyfriend she's now bitching about like an impetulant child.
VeggieLifterChick
New member
I'm not pregnant. Wasn't talking about myself. And no I'm not knocking housewives. I'm knocking people who had other aspirations and settled for being housewives to men who will never be around to be good husbands to them.
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Baoh
Guest
VeggieLifterChick said:
lol
Work on being a good girlfriend before you try and decide how men should be good husbands. I get the feeling it will be lifelong line of work for you to do so.
C
Crazy Ivan
Guest
VeggieLifterChick said:
You worry too much about things you'll never be able to control.
bunnymt
New member
VeggieLifterChick said:
What?? Did I miss something here? What if she wants this? What if she loves him and wants to spend her life with him? Just because her guy will be away for a year is NOT the end of the world, if they have a loving, trusting partnership.
Anyway, who says that she is giving up her dreams? Just because a woman gets married and has kids does not mean that her life is over and she cannot pursue her dreams...she just has to look to the future to fufill her aspirations.
VeggieLifterChick said:
If you think the amount of time spent away from home varies amongst different armies, you are mistaken. If anything, canadian military members spend MORE time away on tour than American servicemen because of our low man numbers and the many UN tours that we have dedicated ourselves to.
VeggieLifterChick said:
Then that's obviously their choice to make. These women know what they get themselves into so you cant knock them for it. Who are you to judge the choices they make for their lives, just because it doesnt fit in with your myopic, dysfunctional view of relationships?
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Baoh
Guest
guards said:
Go for it, man. It's not like she's worth the shit on your shoe.
F
Frackal
Guest
well you could always cheat on him again
B
Baoh
Guest
Frackal said:
She likely has, and likely will. She'll also probably tell all of her female friends that he's a domineering asshole because he won't bend over on this issue.
I assume that is her in the avatar. First thing that came to my mind upon seeing this picture is that this is a woman with a good ammount of emotional baggage. And after reading her posts she certainly fits the bill.
The thing is that women like her think they are strong, smart and progressive. But in reality they are weak, insecure and lack many of the coping skills required in life and relationships. Hence the constant drama and problems in relationships with little to no stability.
A strong, caring and smart woman makes do with what they have. The same goes for the men. Only a woman with a fragile ego would EVER think it's bad to be with a man to be a mother and wife and stay together no matter what. You are too weak to be a woman like that. But it's ok, you will take comfort is telling yourself you are a go getter that you're "better" then those other faithfull housewife women.
The thing is that women like her think they are strong, smart and progressive. But in reality they are weak, insecure and lack many of the coping skills required in life and relationships. Hence the constant drama and problems in relationships with little to no stability.
A strong, caring and smart woman makes do with what they have. The same goes for the men. Only a woman with a fragile ego would EVER think it's bad to be with a man to be a mother and wife and stay together no matter what. You are too weak to be a woman like that. But it's ok, you will take comfort is telling yourself you are a go getter that you're "better" then those other faithfull housewife women.
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Baoh
Guest
Exactly, fellows. Exactly.
superdave said:
Her boyfriend is totally right about her being judgmental. Why do you think you're view in this is better than hers. Why do you put her down for doing this? What if thats what she wants. My buddies father later on in his life joined the peace keepers, where he goes to Bosnia and such...sure they will goto Iraq now, and he is gone for a year at a time. It's there way of life, and they support him for it.
She relates her situation to everyone elses. Just cause you couldn't handle having a husband that doesn't feed you out of his hand 24 hours a day doesn't mean other people can do without that. I rememer her boyfriend was away over seas and she found herself under the sheets with another guy.
I wish you're boyfriend found out about this site and started reading these posts. I don't even know you and I'd slap you in you're face also.
B
Baoh
Guest
flex123 said:
B
Baoh
Guest
gwl9dta4 said:
Is this aimed at me? I am a male so i assume it's not, but it is my quote,so.....
He's directing it at her and underscoring the points you made.
LOL
Well, I've been married 15 years. My husband was in the military when I married him. I gave up alot of things, career included, got pregnant by choice and was a stay at home mom for many years. He got out a year after we were married but from the sounds of things I am one of those women who you have no respect for.
Sometimes you have to give a few things up in order to get something more important. There is nothing in this world that I would trade my marriage for. At 40 I have a good marriage, kids and a great career. If I had chose the career in my early 20's instead of the relationship I would most likely be middle aged with a career and nothing else. Thank God I did what was right for me and didn't care what anyone else thought.
Well, I've been married 15 years. My husband was in the military when I married him. I gave up alot of things, career included, got pregnant by choice and was a stay at home mom for many years. He got out a year after we were married but from the sounds of things I am one of those women who you have no respect for.
Sometimes you have to give a few things up in order to get something more important. There is nothing in this world that I would trade my marriage for. At 40 I have a good marriage, kids and a great career. If I had chose the career in my early 20's instead of the relationship I would most likely be middle aged with a career and nothing else. Thank God I did what was right for me and didn't care what anyone else thought.
B
Baoh
Guest
Temple said:
Congratulations regarding your good fortune.
I find your situation admirable.
bunnymt
New member
Temple said:
My philosophy exactly. I refuse to live my life according to other peoples' expectations and standards of what is "supposed to be." I use my own intuition, brain, and heart. This does not mean that I do not ask for/ hear others' advice. I make my own decisions and live by them.
IMO, the only way to be.
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