permanent dump prevention

[HappyScrappy]

I was in the gym today changing after my shower and I was watching the tv in the locker room.
They had on the morning show that has Katie Couric on it.
They were saying that there is a new permanent birth control (for women of course - that is certainly never a man's responsibility - we aren't the ones that get preggers).

The process involved sticking a metal spring in the fallopian tubes and then scar tissue would build up in there and prevent the eggs from making their way down to the uterine lining, therefore permantently preventing the woman from having kids, with no side effects... aside from not having kids.

That got me to thinking - I really hate making poo poo. So I figure, I just need to get me a big metal spring and shove it up my ass, and then the scar tissue will work its magic and I'm good to go - permanent dump stoppage.

At the very least it will take 5 years of clinical trials and patent workings to get this to the doctors and then perhaps even another 5 before everyone is properly trained - but once it is out there, I'm going to be raking in the cash.

1 in 2.3 men don't want to poop ever again. that is a valid statistic. I know this because I just made it up. and I'm never wrong.

 

[HappyScrappy]

hmmm, that stat, while totally valid, is not likely going to be a true representation of the number of people that want to use my product.
some men, while they might love the idea of "no more dumps" (that is what I'm gonna market it as - I hope Johnson and Johnson don't sue) - but they also love a solid ass reaming, so the scarred over anal cavity issn't gonna fly for them.

and that stat was totally overlooking women - of whom, some percentage also might love the ass love.

perhaps the spring just needs to be placed further up in the nether regions - that way it still prevents crap from leaving like it does now, but it still allows things to be stuck up there for fun and profit.

as you can see, this idea is still in the early stages - it needs at least another day or two at the drawing board - but in a few years you will start to hear the buzz - damn straight - people are sick of shitting their pants, hell - they are just sick of shitting.
most of them. some of them. some people. a few.

 

[Lao Tzu]

it will probably take some kind of industrial solvent to eliminate shitting. A solvent that, when lining the digestive cavity, dissolve fecal matter into particles so small they have no odor or visual observability whatsoever, so people will be taking shits 24/7, but never know it or have anyone else know it. Just like 'god' intended.

 

[Y_lifter]

I've got bad news for you Scrappy..

Ladies don't Poo Poo or Fart or Sweat...

 

[HappyScrappy]

I've got bad news for you Scrappy..

Ladies don't Poo Poo or Fart or Sweat...

hmmm, okay, so that rules out part of my market share.

maybe there is a demand for it in pets first - like who wouldn't enjoy the companionship of a horse around the house - but we are just sick and tired of cleaning up their mammoth dumps?
enter "dumps be gone" (I'm still fleshing out the name here) - and voila! you have the perfect pet for city apartments.

 

[WODIN]

I enjoy a good dump!

 

[HappyScrappy]

I enjoy a good dump!

okay, I wasn't fucking posting this so everyone that wouldn't buy into my product idea would post up about how loose they are.
I just wanted to alert the world, and later the media, that I have an idea and it will be unleashed any day now. or in a few years. maybe. pending legal issues.

fucking mods - think they run the place.

 

[WODIN]

I take extra large doses of benfibre just so I can make more poopie.

 

[HappyScrappy]

I take extra large doses of benfibre just so I can make more poopie.

you sound like my dad.

 

[WODIN]

I just might be your dad.

 

[Bullit]

If I stop dumping then nothing will get read.

 

[HappyScrappy]

I just might be your dad.

1) my dad doesn't have dark hair.
2) my dad is on the west coast now - somewhere in Oregon last I heard
3) he is taller and older than you I think.

other than that - yes, you could be my dad. I'm not sure if that is a ruder comment about my mother, or about you.
either way, I'm kinda hungry.

and Bullit - I've written on here before about my Pavlovian response to reading. If I have a magazine in my hands and I start to read it, my body just goes in to DUMP MODE and I need to find a bathroom stat.

 

[TheProject]

What about cheese? Cheese blocks ya up.

 

[HappyScrappy]

What about cheese? Cheese blocks ya up.

but not permanently. what part of that didn't you get?
no matter how much cheese you stick in your ass, eventually the dump will still manifest itself, and in a more heinous manner than before.

that is why you need the spring and scar tissue method.

man. sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one on here that really thinks.

 

[WODIN]

Try Flan! That stuff might do it.

 

[Bullit]

Speaking from experience... dont try a cork, ok? Just don't do it.

 

[strider364]

I thought this was going to be about how not to get dumped in a realationship, but poopie is cool also.

 

[beastboy]

I once knew a girl so constipated, that shit started coming out of her mouth.

 

[TheProject]

Maybe you could just mold the spring to different shapes, so before the scar tissue builds up you can enjoy a cookie cutter effect.

"Hey y'all, come look at this!

You know...you're not the first person to come up with this idea.

http://www.turdtwister.com/

 

[HappyScrappy]

I'd just like to thank everyone on here for helping to make this thread a wonderful moment in time.

 

[TheProject]

I'd just like to thank everyone on here for helping to make this thread a wonderful moment in time.

Give me one moment in time--where I'm more than I thought I could be.

 

[beastboy]

It really does work!

LOL!

 

[68GT350]

I gest got dummer reeding this thred.

 

[Bullit]

I gest got dummer reeding this thred.

MODS!!! HI hacked 68's account.