Patching things up with an ex b/f or g/f?

[Sexual Mustard]

Here's my situation: My ex and I have agreed to meet for dinner and to "talk" on Tuesday. If anything I'll get some closure as to why she wanted to break up. I'm still hurt and heartbroken (we broke up about 2 months ago). I'm a fucking sap, I can't help it--but a big, muscular sap!! My question to you experts is: do you think it's a good idea to try for a second chance, or not? And if so, what do you say to win the ex back? I'm sure some of you have tried this before....I would like to hear your experiences. And if you think it's a bad idea to try to get together again, just say so because I'm not even sure what to do/say when we get together. Thanks, fellas.

 

[Bruce Banner]

I undersand why you did so. Because you're a nice guy and I have been there before..

But listen, we live in a cruel world and sometimes nice guys DO finish last.

Dont let this chick walk all over you..

Just move on.even if you do get back together, you'll always remember the amount of pain and how much she hurt you before..

it'll ALWAYS be in the back of yo head

 

[thefantom1]

Just go and be yourself... be happy and upbeat.(that will drive her nuts..that your happy) but don't be a sap and beg for her to come back....let her bring it up and don't appear to eager to get back together....just be yourself bro... things that are meant to be are meant to be..

 

[AAP]

She made you an 'ex' for a reason. I am sure it was a good reason. Maybe you are a jerk. Maybe you are ugly. Maybe she is pregnant with someone else's child. Maybe she is the one that just did something foolish for some dumb reason. (i.e. breaking up and using your emotions to manipulate you.) But she made an 'ex' out of you once, do you want to risk having her do it again?

It is hard to say or suggest the outcome because I (and the others on here) do not know the entire story.

There is no universal generic line or speech that instantly wins back the one you want. Been there, done that. Thought I wanted that one so badly, but one year later after the hurt died down, I realized I was lucky that I did NOT get my wish. It has been three years now and each time I see my former other half out, I realize just why things could NEVER work out. I see the behavior patterns have NEVER changed. All the changes that were promised woudl have been only temporary ones. Leopards never change their spots. Only hide them.

I sense your heart is still attached here for some reason. I don't know what the reason is, but I don't think you know what the reason is either. Make sure you do know the reason BEFORE you sit down and talk to her. You will get NO closure as long as you still feel hurt or heartbroken. Sorry, it doesn't work that way. And do NOT mistake hurt and pain for desire. It is natural to grieve, but remember the pain is emotional. it WILL go away. Be glad you are hurting, it shows you are alive and your heart was in the right place for this girl. True love doesn't go away easy. Or else it wasn't love in the first place.

You are young. Go free yourself from this hurt. It is only causing you unhappiness. Get her out of your mind, wait until the hurt is gone before you start judging whether you want this girl back or not. When your mind is free from cloudy emotions that cause you pain, you will see things differently. If it is meant to be, it will be. Otherwise, when you are 60 years old you will be looking back and realizing how foolish you were to continue to pine after someone that was not right for you. Enjoy YOURSELF. Once you are comfortable with who you are, you can worry about someone else.

 

[AAP]

Let YOUR happiness be HER poison. Show her she doesn't control you.

 

[Kryp2o]

Just go and be yourself... be happy and upbeat.(that will drive her nuts..that your happy) but don't be a sap and beg for her to come back....let her bring it up and don't appear to eager to get back together....just be yourself bro... things that are meant to be are meant to be..

I agree with thefanthom here. Just be upbeat and happy never go on the defense if it gets to that point, cut it off right then and there and bow out gracefully with a smile on your face and nothing to loose.

 

[Sexual Mustard]

thanks guys for the honest replies..... although I do still have to see her anyway (ugh). It will be extremely tough to just see her, never mind talking about our past. At least I'll pick up my school stuff that she has of mine.

Any other replies are welcome.

 

[satanic goatslayer]

Any other replies are welcome.

Good.

I've never felt the need to try to win a woman's affections back, but I imagine that I could think of a surefire method.

#1) You'll need a nice outfit, flowers, a paddle, and a leather belt.

#2) Invite this woman to a romantic restaurant. Be sure to reserve a seat that allows the two of you a reasonable deal of privacy.

#3) Order a big bottle of rye with two pint glasses.

#4) Make sure she ingests enough rye to induce intoxication. If she isn't drinking quickly enough, Rohypnol will help.

#5) Begin to tell her about the way she makes you feel. Remind her of the good times, and suggest doing something that the two of you never got the chance to do while you were together.

#6) Throw your knife at her throat.

#7) Apologize, and tell her that it will never happen again.

#8) Light her hair on fire with the candle.

#9) Extinguish it, and again, apologize.

#10) Wrap the belt around her neck and drag her into the handicapped bathroom.

#11) Ram her head into the toilet, and make her say "I'll take you back, I promise!"

#12) Tell her "That isn't good enough, bitch, say it again!"

#13) Use the paddle to hit her in the skull while she attempts to say it.

#14) Make sure she loses consciousness before she is allowed the opportunity to say it.

#15) Wake her up with some smelling salts.

#16) As she comes to, get angry at her for not saying it.

#17) Cave her skull in with the paddle.

#18) Collect some of the blood in a dixie cup.

#19) Go back to the table and mix the blood with the rye.

#20) Drink the rye, and pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

Trust me.

 

[Freak Show]

Kinda goin throught the same thing, SM. It's tough but you gotta be strong. THe toughest thing to do is not show you are hurting inside. Go to this meeting with eyes wide open. Don't fall for any of her games. Make sure she gives it to you straight. It's either "yes, I want to get back together", or "this is why I did it, now move on." Don't leave without complete closure. Don't be quick to go back just cuz it's easy and there may be more security in a relationship. Make sure you're going back to HER not just the safety of a relationship. Wish you the best.

 

[luv2workout]

SM
I would have to say that if it didnt work the first time - for whatever the reason - It probly will not work the second time...usually after the break-up both people miss the other and think of how it use to be, which makes you want to get back....whatever you choose to do - BE YOURSELF!!! dont do anything to try and impress her or win her back..just be honest w/how you feel and LISTEN to what she has to say and go from there.....