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Opinions on addiction

Nathan

New member
I just got done talking to my cousin about his cocaine addiction and his manic depressive personality. It was scary. He has lost about 60lbs since I last saw him, is pale as all hell with bags under his eyes, and he blurts out about 50,000 unintelligible words every minute. I didn't really know what to say to him. He's still having trouble with the death of his parents amongst other things. He's seriously pretty far gone. I tried talking about his future and his goals and where he ultimately wants to be in ten years. It had little to no effect so I just listened and told him I was concerned. I told him to call me if he wants to talk again or see a movie or something some time. Any suggestions of other things to do to help? I don't think he believes he needs help either. He kept saying how happy and together he is which obviously can't be true when he's pacing back and forth and sniffling uncontrollablly.
 
the sad thing about those people is that even when you try to help, they don't see that they have a problem... yes, its sad, but pretty much the best thing i've found you can do is just make the effort. if it somehow helps them see the light FANTASTIC... if not, then you can't hold yourself responsible as you did what you could. i've got a friend who's not that bad, but she did some time in jail for coke and it really really bothered me. i talked to her and she seemed to be alright, but she wouldnt' admit it to me and i can tell she's not the same person she was before she got into that shit
 
try some scare tactics. thats all that i can think of. alot of my relatives indulge themselves with cocaine and seem fine and ive been around them 20+ years. maybe cocain sides are overrated?
 
He is 23. He lost his dad when he was about 11 or so I think. He just lost his mom a year and a half ago or so. His father died of colon cancer and his mom had heart disease. The immediate problem is the drugs, but the long-term problem is the fact that he has serious mental illnesses. He has ADD and was put on ritalin but obviously no longer takes it and instead pumps himself full of amphetamines. He was going on about how hard it was to come home on acid and see his mom lying on the bathroom floor with her wrists slit and blood everywhere. My aunt was just like my mom and her other sisters - fucked in the head. My cousin is no different. I thought maybe I could help since I have been through similar issues (and to be truthful am still dealing with them) but not to the same degree, obviously. I think part of the problem is that he thinks he is happy now, but that is only the case because I don't think he's ever really been happy.
Oh, and he just snorts it but his mucous membrane is gone or something. His sinuses are destroyed.
 
fuck dude, you need to get his ass into rehab and to see a shrink weekly.

seriously, I had a friend like this kid and people like him don't change until they hit rock bottom. is there any other family like grandparents or aunts or uncles you can talk to?

good luck, sorry to hear this shit.
 
Lumberg said:
intervention.

Of course there is also the alternative of turning him into the cops.

I may turn him in. I'm going to call his half brother who lives in BC first though and get his opinion. I know he's been talking to him but he hasn't seen him really. As for the rest of the family, he has alienated his entire dad's side of his family via threats and other such immature bullshit. The scary thing is I'm just about it. I think he's pissed off that nobody is taking time out of their own lives to help him through it. He told me that if it were me he would be by my side all day every day to get me to stop. I told him that it would be unfair of me to expect that from him since he should have his own life to live. He's so lonely and I can't help him. I hated the way I felt when I was at my worst and I don't wish that on anybody. There's no light at the end of the tunnel for him and I think that's a very dangerous frame of mind to be in.
 
I guess I'd turn him in too. It's better to have him pissed off at your for a really long time than to live with the fact that you could have helped him and did nothing. This appears to be an extreme case and it requires an extreme measure.
 
From Zero said:
Maybe anya can give some advice?

She deals with this kind of thing, I think.

If she's around, I'd like to hear what she has to say then. I called his older brother. I think I scared him a little. He didn't realize it was as bad as it is. Any more advice? I'm thinking right now I'll just try to spend time with him. Take him to the movies this weekend or some shit. Fuck.
 
Okay, seriously though, I would just try spending some time with him and maybe you can eventually get through. The problem with turning him in is that a big change like that could make him suicidal, especially if he's as bad as you say.
 
Nathan said:
I'm thinking right now I'll just try to spend time with him. Take him to the movies this weekend or some shit. Fuck.

Do that bro. That's really all I can think of. Keep the guy in your life. Talk to him a lot too.

I dunno man.
 
Seashell said:
I'd like to hear any advice people might have on this subject as well....

Speaking as someone who's been through rehab for that type of problem. I'd have to say that every addict has the same path to go by. They have to hit a bottom, or they die. After they loose something or almost loose it then HOPEFULLY, they realize they have a problem and they will want to help themselves. They have to want to get help. Untill then your just talking to a wall.
 
Turd Ferguson said:
Speaking as someone who's been through rehab for that type of problem. I'd have to say that every addict has the same path to go by. They have to hit a bottom, or they die. Then HOPEFULLY they will want to help themselves. They have to want to get help. Untill then your just talking to a wall.

:(

So if they're at the point where they won't even admit it's a problem...there's nothing much I can do?
 
turd makes a good point. Ideally the people figure it out for themselves.

What if the thing they lose is their freedom? Or the bottom they hit is the indignity of going through the process of becoming an incoming inmate at a jail? You could nudge things in the right direction a bit with a well-placed phone call or talk with your neighborhood policeman.
 
Turd Ferguson said:
Speaking as someone who's been through rehab for that type of problem. I'd have to say that every addict has the same path to go by. They have to hit a bottom, or they die. After they loose something or almost loose it then HOPEFULLY, they realize they have a problem and they will want to help themselves. They have to want to get help. Untill then your just talking to a wall.

EXACTLY. Everyone is different, but eventually something so bad has to happen to make them choose.

I had to lose my wife and kids to realize I had to quit drinking.

(I got them back...)
 
No worries Seashell. I hope some of this helps you out as well. I went through a similar thing when I was graduating from high school. Anxiety got on top of me and eventually it got to the point where my doctor told me I had one week to show signs of improvement or she would have me committed. That was what did it for me. I realized I would not be able to go away to school, have fun, and do all the things other kids my age are all excited to be doing. Basically, I was losing control in one aspect of my life so I tried to tighten up control in other aspects of my life to maintain a feeling of comfort and lost my mind in the process. I went through something similar again (though not as bad) in the last couple years with drugs and depression and anxiety again. This time around, I had to get really sick from all the drugs and then lose a lot of weight. Losing 30lbs because of drugs is fucking stupid when I worked my ass off for that weight. I hope he has a similar epiphany but the kid has no idea what he wants out of life which seems to be a pretty big obstacle at this point.
 
Well I guess it depends. Was someone there to bail them out and help pay for legal costs? Perhaps let them go it alone. It's pretty terrifying to get processed through the penal system when you don't have your family/friends around to support you. (I'm guessing here LOL)

Failing that, you pretty much have to cut people loose sometimes. I dont' put up with people who can't run their own lives and thus bring drama to mine in the form of late night phone calls, borrowing money, etc. I don't have any siblings though. I did pretty much cut my dad loose when it was clear he was never gonna have his shit together. If he had gotten his shit together on his own I would have taken him back. My dad's problem was alcohol, and while he never brushed with the legal system he sure ended up in the hospital several times.
 
I forgot to mention that when his mom died she left him money. He bought a car and a house and says he put the rest away. He now drives a shitty Buick and is selling the house. He's getting disturbingly close to rock bottom. I had hoped such a thing would be his wake up call but it hasn't done the trick.
 
Lumberg said:
Well I guess it depends. Was someone there to bail them out and help pay for legal costs? Perhaps let them go it alone. It's pretty terrifying to get processed through the penal system when you don't have your family/friends around to support you. (I'm guessing here LOL)

Failing that, you pretty much have to cut people loose sometimes. I dont' put up with people who can't run their own lives and thus bring drama to mine in the form of late night phone calls, borrowing money, etc. I don't have any siblings though. I did pretty much cut my dad loose when it was clear he was never gonna have his shit together. If he had gotten his shit together on his own I would have taken him back. My dad's problem was alcohol, and while he never brushed with the legal system he sure ended up in the hospital several times.

I think you hit the nail on the head with the running your own life thing. Nobody wants to be around an adult that can't take care of themself because other adults have their hands full dealing with their own shit. He's lonely now but it's only going to get worse as he gets older.
 
Nathan said:
No worries Seashell. I hope some of this helps you out as well. I went through a similar thing when I was graduating from high school. Anxiety got on top of me and eventually it got to the point where my doctor told me I had one week to show signs of improvement or she would have me committed. That was what did it for me. I realized I would not be able to go away to school, have fun, and do all the things other kids my age are all excited to be doing. Basically, I was losing control in one aspect of my life so I tried to tighten up control in other aspects of my life to maintain a feeling of comfort and lost my mind in the process. I went through something similar again (though not as bad) in the last couple years with drugs and depression and anxiety again. This time around, I had to get really sick from all the drugs and then lose a lot of weight. Losing 30lbs because of drugs is fucking stupid when I worked my ass off for that weight. I hope he has a similar epiphany but the kid has no idea what he wants out of life which seems to be a pretty big obstacle at this point.

Well I hope for both our sakes these two reach their rock-bottom soon.

It's a bad feeling to helplessly watch someone do that to themselves though .. and I can't help but feel there's something I can do to stop it, or something I should be doing.. I just don't know what.

(And thank you for sharing that info with me.. :friends: )
 
First nathan, I am glad to see you are sticking by him and being a good friend through his problem. My respect you has gone up measurably. Second, you might check into this. I heard their is a new treatment out for coke addicts. Supposably once you take this stuff a person can not get the same high from coke any more and they will soon quit because there is no pay off from the snort, shot or inhaling of the shit.

Coke is some truly evil shit.I think it is way more evil than heroin but for some reason coke is considered ok but heroin is taboo to most people. Weird.

Good luck dude. Don't give up on him seems like you are all he has left.
 
Lumberg said:
Well I guess it depends. Was someone there to bail them out and help pay for legal costs? Perhaps let them go it alone. It's pretty terrifying to get processed through the penal system when you don't have your family/friends around to support you. (I'm guessing here LOL)

Failing that, you pretty much have to cut people loose sometimes. I dont' put up with people who can't run their own lives and thus bring drama to mine in the form of late night phone calls, borrowing money, etc. I don't have any siblings though. I did pretty much cut my dad loose when it was clear he was never gonna have his shit together. If he had gotten his shit together on his own I would have taken him back. My dad's problem was alcohol, and while he never brushed with the legal system he sure ended up in the hospital several times.

(I tried to edit my last post and seem to have deleted it instead..d'oh!)

No one bailed him out, and he was on his own for legal costs as well. So he went it alone pretty much. I'd been hoping that'd be enough to make him see that there was a problem, but apparantly no.

That must have been hard with your Dad.. did he stop and start a few times with the alcohol? Or did he get to a point where enough was enough and never touched it again?
 
Seashell said:
(I tried to edit my last post and seem to have deleted it instead..d'oh!)

No one bailed him out, and he was on his own for legal costs as well. So he went it alone pretty much. I'd been hoping that'd be enough to make him see that there was a problem, but apparantly no.

That must have been hard with your Dad.. did he stop and start a few times with the alcohol? Or did he get to a point where enough was enough and never touched it again?

He stopped and started. The last time I visited him he lied to my face about drinking. He quit after he had to get a colostomy due to complications from alcoholism, but by then it was too late as the operation to reverse the colostomy resulted in a fatal infection.

As far as I am concerned he killed himself with alcohol.
 
Lumberg said:
He stopped and started. The last time I visited him he lied to my face about drinking. He quit after he had to get a colostomy due to complications from alcoholism, but by then it was too late as the operation to reverse the colostomy resulted in a fatal infection.

As far as I am concerned he killed himself with alcohol.

That's awful... I'm sorry to hear it.
 
Seashell said:
:(

So if they're at the point where they won't even admit it's a problem...there's nothing much I can do?
I think you still talk to them about it, because its good to hear. They need to make a choice about it for themselves though.
 
Has he been diagnosed with manic depression by a qualified practician?

Bipolar individuals are the most susceptible to comorbid behavior including heavy drug abuse to induce hypermania in depression prevalent bipolar disorder, or hypomania to alleviate and attenuate anxiety symptoms; at least a third of patients admit to a suicde attempt and roughly up to 20% take their lives.

Treatment usually starts with isolation from any comorbid/risk taking or involving activities. For example, how and where does he get the blow? From his friends, just dealers whoever - their simple presense and easy access are potentially endangering him. HE would alienate his family before he would quit on something that so effectively allows him to forget about dealing with his life circumstances. Move him out of his house, out of the area, whatever. More family time and family practice setting.

Then go for the root - valporic acid/valproate and lithium are considered the most efective treatment and the most drastic. Look into that. BUT all that would require that: you either turn him into rehabilitation program OR psychiatrist. I see your moral dilemma, but then if you think, morally right would be to help, and ultimately redeem his life from self-abuse and loathing.
 
juve said:
Has he been diagnosed with manic depression by a qualified practician?

Bipolar individuals are the most susceptible to comorbid behavior including heavy drug abuse to induce hypermania in depression prevalent bipolar disorder, or hypomania to alleviate and attenuate anxiety symptoms; at least a third of patients admit to a suicde attempt and roughly up to 20% take their lives.

Treatment usually starts with isolation from any comorbid/risk taking or involving activities. For example, how and where does he get the blow? From his friends, just dealers whoever - their simple presense and easy access are potentially endangering him. HE would alienate his family before he would quit on something that so effectively allows him to forget about dealing with his life circumstances. Move him out of his house, out of the area, whatever. More family time and family practice setting.

Then go for the root - valporic acid/valproate and lithium are considered the most efective treatment and the most drastic. Look into that. BUT all that would require that: you either turn him into rehabilitation program OR psychiatrist. I see your moral dilemma, but then if you think, morally right would be to help, and ultimately redeem his life from self-abuse and loathing.

I'm not sure if he's been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder exactly. I know he's been diagnosed with other things though. Besides my family history is pretty bad for it. I have been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder as well as other things. My mom has the bi-polar and so do all three of her sisters as well as her mom. Also, on his dad's side there is the ADD (his dad had it) as well as Turret's Syndrome. His mom and dad should never have had kids essentially. My parents sound like they get the seriousness of it now and I scared his brother when I called him today. I'm not planning on giving up on him.
 
juve said:
Has he been diagnosed with manic depression by a qualified practician?

Bipolar individuals are the most susceptible to comorbid behavior including heavy drug abuse to induce hypermania in depression prevalent bipolar disorder, or hypomania to alleviate and attenuate anxiety symptoms; at least a third of patients admit to a suicde attempt and roughly up to 20% take their lives.

Treatment usually starts with isolation from any comorbid/risk taking or involving activities. For example, how and where does he get the blow? From his friends, just dealers whoever - their simple presense and easy access are potentially endangering him. HE would alienate his family before he would quit on something that so effectively allows him to forget about dealing with his life circumstances. Move him out of his house, out of the area, whatever. More family time and family practice setting.

Then go for the root - valporic acid/valproate and lithium are considered the most efective treatment and the most drastic. Look into that. BUT all that would require that: you either turn him into rehabilitation program OR psychiatrist. I see your moral dilemma, but then if you think, morally right would be to help, and ultimately redeem his life from self-abuse and loathing.

Man, this is damn good advice. I dropped alot of drinking buddies, watering holes and changed my scene. I was self medicating for anxiety. I wish I had read this back then.
But its doable. I'm proof of that....

Good luck.
 
Nathan said:
He's lonely now but it's only going to get worse as he gets older.

Unfortunately, I cannot foresee him getting much older - given his condition he won't last very long.

You can call him an adult, or a child, and no matter the diagnosis he is no longer in charge of his life, and unless someone steps in he won't regain control. You seem to be willing in part to take some responsibility for his life, and understandably, since you cannot devote all of your time to him share the responsibility with someone who is qualified in providing appropriate treatment. Whatever he does or will do on his own will be ultimately harmful to him or anyone around.

One more thing: don't believe a word he says, especially on how well he's doing, on what he's going to do to fix his situation and how he's going to utilize the money in case he's going to need any. People in these circumstances (drug addiction+mental state ) often succumb to becoming compulsive liars, sometimes not even knowing it in an attempt to foster their habits or mask the suffering.
 
juve said:
One more thing: don't believe a word he says, especially on how well he's doing, on what he's going to do to fix his situation and how he's going to utilize the money in case he's going to need any. People in these circumstances (drug addiction+mental state ) often succumb to becoming compulsive liars, sometimes not even knowing it in an attempt to foster their habits or mask the suffering.

It's funny, I usually never believe him since he's well known for lying compulsively. But he kicked our whole conversation last night off by saying that he knows he's the biggest bullshitter in the world but that he's changed. No more lying. Then he said he was doing an ounce or so of coke a day. Granted, he had at least that much on him but nobody can handle that kind of drug load. That's retarded. He makes outlandish claims and genuinely seems to think people believe him. What the fuck?
 
nathan, I don't know what planet you're from but once you've built up a tolerance you can do an ounce of coke a day.

I used to live in Costa Rica where the coke is more pure than in the States and I knew guys who could polish off a quarter in an evening.
 
Lumberg said:
I used to live in Costa Rica where the coke is more pure than in the States and I knew guys who could polish off a quarter in an evening.


no shit?

I have a house in Costa Rica and have spent a lot of time there. Where I go coke is everywhere. I imagine it's like that all over the country of course. It's def. a lot more pure. That's cool that you used to live there.
 
nathan,


I had a best friend who was addicted to meth. He could not quit no matter
what. To make a long story short he was pulled over one day and busted
for having an 8-ball of "ice" on him. He was sentenced to 9 months in jail
and then released. The 9 months of sobriety did him a lot of good. After
hanging out w/ him a few times after his release he seems to normal like
he was long before he got hooked on the stuff. What I am trying to say is
as bad as it sounds is turn him in before he overdoses on the stuff.
 
bdog527 said:
no shit?

I have a house in Costa Rica and have spent a lot of time there. Where I go coke is everywhere. I imagine it's like that all over the country of course. It's def. a lot more pure. That's cool that you used to live there.

Yeah three years bro. I only did coke twice both in CR so I don't knwo first hand but I knwo from lots of people who have done it in both places. In CR weed is like how alcohol is in high school here and coke is like hos weed is here. I've seen it take down a few kids but as far as I know they got through it.

Anyways it's a cool country.
 
Lumberg said:
nathan, I don't know what planet you're from but once you've built up a tolerance you can do an ounce of coke a day.

I used to live in Costa Rica where the coke is more pure than in the States and I knew guys who could polish off a quarter in an evening.

Well, fuck. That's disgusting. I can't think of any other drugs that are like that, though I'm sure you'll shut me up with examples. With weed and shrooms and what have you 1g can do you pretty good for a night (1g of coke would be a lot for someone doing it for the first time in a night I think). However, who the fuck does an ounce of either in a day? That's retarded.
 
he is making his dealer very rich! step in mate and ounce around here goes for big $$$$..i wouldnt be suprised if the dealer fronts him the stuff, knowing he's got money stashed from his mom..the dealer is and has plans for that money already..

why dont you confront the dealer? ..with a bat of course
 
Nathan said:
Well, fuck. That's disgusting. I can't think of any other drugs that are like that, though I'm sure you'll shut me up with examples. With weed and shrooms and what have you 1g can do you pretty good for a night (1g of coke would be a lot for someone doing it for the first time in a night I think). However, who the fuck does an ounce of either in a day? That's retarded.

Coke has a very short duration so you get on a cycle of being high then you crash 20 min later and need to get high again. That's how addicts go through so much.
 
Lumberg said:
Coke has a very short duration so you get on a cycle of being high then you crash 20 min later and need to get high again. That's how addicts go through so much.

No doubt. Luckily he isn't smoking it or he would be broke already.
 
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