Online Dating/ Internet and Identity...

[-Ariel-]

I'm reading the book The World is Flat by Thomas Friedmann, and he points out something that is so obvious yet due to so many things going on, we don't notice.

Like I mean, online culture and identity are meshing more and more. Online dating has elevated to 17 million people or 26% of US culture. Think about how hard it is to meet people IRL, when everyone is on their Blackberry/Iphone, talking, or surfing the web. I mean I have used a cheesy online dating thing to meet two chics who i relate to way more than chics I have met on the Undergrad level through School. However, there are issues related to the expansion of this medium and how it interrelates to our personal, private selves.

Everyone is in their own world, and actual conversation to the person next to U is very unlikely. I mean I find from personal experience I relate more to alot of U more than I do people I share the same geographical. Point is that I relate through this medium more than I do with peeps who I have the same job, and share the same geographical space with.

The thing is the increased interconnection is also kinda scary. I mean what happens when the entire world knows bout your private self. Think about it, when was the last time U heard a cell phone convo with people and they are discussing shit U would never say to a stranger.

Your neighbors may overhear a conversation U had with your wife about impotence or your conversation about weird sexual fantasies or worse and post it online.

For example right now, companies are googling your name, searching your my space page -I don't have one- to get a clue about your narrative, or what u are about, or other things U have done in your past. The thing is, according to a study done in 2006, 1/3 of peeps denied, was to internet related activity. The internet was the Scarlet Letter.

The things is, the whole reputation thing for kids growing up today, now starts much earlier. If U have kids, teach them about the world we live in and not to post up stupid shit that may ruin their career.

This book was written in 2007, and already I notice that a difference that it seems culture is alot more internet dependent than when he wrote this book.
I don't expect to get many posts, cause this isn't a question, but just an observation.

Thanx.

 

[inkspot]

welcome to the future. I find my interactions are best with people I can see. My strong suit has never been online communication. How do you read a frown or smile?

 

[puddlemonkey]

How do you read a frown or smile?

Smilies!!!

 

[Cal_21]

"online culture and identity are meshing more and more"

My online identity makes 400k a year & drives a phantom.

Still waiting on my RL persona to catch up.

 

[Smurfy]

 

[hurricane]

I'm reading the book The World is Flat by Thomas Friedmann, and he points out something that is so obvious yet due to so many things going on, we don't notice.

Like I mean, online culture and identity are meshing more and more. Online dating has elevated to 17 million people or 26% of US culture. Think about how hard it is to meet people IRL, when everyone is on their Blackberry/Iphone, talking, or surfing the web. I mean I have used a cheesy online dating thing to meet two chics who i relate to way more than chics I have met on the Undergrad level through School. However, there are issues related to the expansion of this medium and how it interrelates to our personal, private selves.

Everyone is in their own world, and actual conversation to the person next to U is very unlikely. I mean I find from personal experience I relate more to alot of U more than I do people I share the same geographical. Point is that I relate through this medium more than I do with peeps who I have the same job, and share the same geographical space with.

The thing is the increased interconnection is also kinda scary. I mean what happens when the entire world knows bout your private self. Think about it, when was the last time U heard a cell phone convo with people and they are discussing shit U would never say to a stranger.

Your neighbors may overhear a conversation U had with your wife about impotence or your conversation about weird sexual fantasies or worse and post it online.

For example right now, companies are googling your name, searching your my space page -I don't have one- to get a clue about your narrative, or what u are about, or other things U have done in your past. The thing is, according to a study done in 2006, 1/3 of peeps denied, was to internet related activity. The internet was the Scarlet Letter.

The things is, the whole reputation thing for kids growing up today, now starts much earlier. If U have kids, teach them about the world we live in and not to post up stupid shit that may ruin their career.

This book was written in 2007, and already I notice that a difference that it seems culture is alot more internet dependent than when he wrote this book.
I don't expect to get many posts, cause this isn't a question, but just an observation.

Thanx.

ahhhh .. i think this all the time .. when im working outdoors and i see a hawt chick on her cell phone or sidekick or ipod/watever .. ruined society

 

[-Ariel-]

ahhhh .. i think this all the time .. when im working outdoors and i see a hawt chick on her cell phone or sidekick or ipod/watever .. ruined society

U bastard, U are such a liar, like U now bust out your mac. Hoping that she notices U are a mac user....

 

[EnderJE]

"online culture and identity are meshing more and more"

My online identity makes 400k a year & drives a phantom.

Still waiting on my RL persona to catch up.

I'm going to model my e-identity like RG.

You loser, mine flys and fucks Jenny McCarthy.

 

[-Ariel-]

I'm going to model my e-identity like RG.

You loser, mine flys and fucks Jenny McCarthy.

Good Model.
Lemme know how that goes.

 

[Cal_21]

I'm going to model my e-identity like RG.

You loser, mine flys and fucks Jenny McCarthy.

lol@ jenny mccarthy. She was hot in 95.

I'm on the board of directors @ victorias secret. They pay me in sex with the supermodels & G5's.

 

[EnderJE]

lol@ jenny mccarthy. She was hot in 95.

I'm on the board of directors @ victorias secret. They pay me in sex with the supermodels & G5's.

I'm old now so I still think she's hot.

Really? Did you know that I can fly like Superman and have fucked Sarah Palin? A2M baby!

 

[Cal_21]

I'm old now so I still think she's hot.

Really? Did you know that I can fly like Superman and have fucked Sarah Palin? A2M baby!

I'm so fucking boss that Obama voted for me.

 

[Cal_21]

p.s. she is definitely still hot.

 

[Bikini Mod]

I've trademarked my screenname. And elite will have a HYUGE role in my auto-biography as it changed my life completely once I got here. Perhaps I am incorrect but once a body gets over the "naivite" of entering a "brand new world" it doesn't take much to separate the posers from those who are genuine. Now as far as putting personal information and having that come to hurt you in the job world. I also have friends who used to play quite a bit, harmfull innocent interactions but when their companies began to employ peeps full time to search the web for information posted about the company or their employees - EVERYTHING went *black*.

The internet is no joke. It can be quite a usefull tool once one learns how to wield it properly.

 

[-Ariel-]

I've trademarked my screenname. And elite will have a HYUGE role in my auto-biography as it changed my life completely once I got here. Perhaps I am incorrect but once a body gets over the "naivite" of entering a "brand new world" it doesn't take much to separate the posers from those who are genuine. Now as far as putting personal information and having that come to hurt you in the job world. I also have friends who used to play quite a bit, harmfull innocent interactions but when their companies began to employ peeps full time to search the web for information posted about the company or their employees - EVERYTHING went *black*.

The internet is no joke. It can be quite a usefull tool once one learns how to wield it properly.

Another solid post from a solid woman.
So true... Like u have to teach your kids not to post up stupid shit, or stories that can be incriminating...

 

[Bikini Mod]

Another solid post from a solid woman.
So true... Like u have to teach your kids not to post up stupid shit, or stories that can be incriminating...

True, true but what do you do when OTHERS post up shit that is *incriminating* but nothing even close to the truth?

If you address it then you are blamed for *adding fuel to the fire*. If you ignore all the bullshit then you *are admitting guilt due to silence*.

Trust me when I tell you that there are cases where you are damned if you do, damned if you don't.

 

[itz486]

Jenny Mcarthy will always be hot!

 

[myway]

U bastard, U are such a liar, like U now bust out your mac. Hoping that she notices U are a mac user....

U are not your MAC.
He is NOT his MAC!!!!

 

[-Ariel-]

U are not your MAC.
He is NOT his MAC!!!!

LOL
That was the premise of my grad thesis.
Yet it was written, on a 13 inch mac, and I think the epiphany came after disillusionment about not being able to afford the macbook pro.
J/K
Nice MW.

 

[calveless wonder]

It depends on the environment. Big cities with rude people its tougher to meet people but it still can be done frequent enough. More laid back places its not. A lot depends on your own social skills. people tend to be guarded naturally as everyone has an outer persona. Once that level is broken the more authentic people are.

The internet is definetely a "safe" medium to get to know people and some people are more open in that format.

I can say personally that the internet displays my true side a little more in public as people tend to make many assumptions about the way I look and the way i carry myself.

 

[Razorguns]

Harder to meet people in irl?? Ever been to a nightclub? They're all PACKED on weekends. They're not suffering because poeople know that it's still better and faster to meet people eye to eye, plus humans will always prefer social activities. It's in our genes.

Especially when you want to meet attractive women, and not have to deal with 10,000 other internet losers also emaling her all day long.

r

 

[Chrisco915]

I actually met my wife online.

 

[Chrisco915]

Here is something to try:

If you are anything like me, you spent your formative years in the gym learning (amongst other things) that prolonged chit-chatting and meandering socialite groups yucking it up in front of frequently used equipment is blasphemous. Those lessons kept me withdrawn during my workouts and rather unapproachable looking (as I have been recently informed) to those that crossed my path. Perhaps, like me, you have seen the same people day after day……week after week for years and have never even spoken to them. You have checked out the attractive woman in the tight black bike shorts or the handsome man in the tank top and not said hello out of embarrassment or didn’t want to bother them while they worked out. Many times you have passed one another and looked past each other or made eye contact and quickly looked away or nodded or got caught checking each other out in the mirrors(don’t deny it….you have been caught at least once).

But what if you actually said hello? Would you appear creepy and make it seem like you are hitting on the person? What if you overcame the embarrassing longevity of not expressing the common decency of saying “Hello” during all that time? Would they just scowl and walk away? What if you actually just said, “I am sorry, but I feel rather rude for not introducing myself after all the times we have passed each other in here….I’m <insert name>”. Would they destroy your pre-conceived fantasy persona of them and ruin it? It was time to find out.

Obviously, I do not recommend this course of action while someone is mid-set or cruising a hellacious cardio session…but between sets or while stretching one might be able to learn a thing or two about the people they are surround by that share the same passion for the gym.

So…….I took this mind set to the gym. Instead of pacing like a wild animal between sets, I remained relatively stationary and made eye contact and said hello to people that acknowledged my presence. To my surprise, quite a few of my pre-determined write-offs had a quite a few interesting tidbits of wisdom about music, movies, nutrition, training and other fascinating subjects. Yes….a few fantasies were destroyed by self-centeredness, rudeness, lack of intelligence and social grace, gym etiquette……..and yes, some people just suck. But the positive far outweighed the negative. I am not saying I am evolving into the ever irritating social butterfly of the place; but I must admit that I feel rather liberated by breaking the irrational unspoken bond in today’s societal lack of interest in anything that does not relate directly to them.

I walked away from this with a few things I didn’t start out with. Far more smiles and hellos entering the gym after a hard days work(which actually feels pretty good), a new workout partner that shares a belief in the same training, personal and musical principles I do and more people that understand me and my perchance to appear unfriendly(which is far from the truth). For all this…I feel more connected to my gym and its people. It has become a more comfortable “home away from home”. I really do suggest it……even if only for one day.

 

[-Ariel-]

Here is something to try:

If you are anything like me, you spent your formative years in the gym learning (amongst other things) that prolonged chit-chatting and meandering socialite groups yucking it up in front of frequently used equipment is blasphemous. Those lessons kept me withdrawn during my workouts and rather unapproachable looking (as I have been recently informed) to those that crossed my path. Perhaps, like me, you have seen the same people day after day……week after week for years and have never even spoken to them. You have checked out the attractive woman in the tight black bike shorts or the handsome man in the tank top and not said hello out of embarrassment or didn’t want to bother them while they worked out. Many times you have passed one another and looked past each other or made eye contact and quickly looked away or nodded or got caught checking each other out in the mirrors(don’t deny it….you have been caught at least once).

But what if you actually said hello? Would you appear creepy and make it seem like you are hitting on the person? What if you overcame the embarrassing longevity of not expressing the common decency of saying “Hello” during all that time? Would they just scowl and walk away? What if you actually just said, “I am sorry, but I feel rather rude for not introducing myself after all the times we have passed each other in here….I’m <insert name>”. Would they destroy your pre-conceived fantasy persona of them and ruin it? It was time to find out.

Obviously, I do not recommend this course of action while someone is mid-set or cruising a hellacious cardio session…but between sets or while stretching one might be able to learn a thing or two about the people they are surround by that share the same passion for the gym.

So…….I took this mind set to the gym. Instead of pacing like a wild animal between sets, I remained relatively stationary and made eye contact and said hello to people that acknowledged my presence. To my surprise, quite a few of my pre-determined write-offs had a quite a few interesting tidbits of wisdom about music, movies, nutrition, training and other fascinating subjects. Yes….a few fantasies were destroyed by self-centeredness, rudeness, lack of intelligence and social grace, gym etiquette……..and yes, some people just suck. But the positive far outweighed the negative. I am not saying I am evolving into the ever irritating social butterfly of the place; but I must admit that I feel rather liberated by breaking the irrational unspoken bond in today’s societal lack of interest in anything that does not relate directly to them.

I walked away from this with a few things I didn’t start out with. Far more smiles and hellos entering the gym after a hard days work(which actually feels pretty good), a new workout partner that shares a belief in the same training, personal and musical principles I do and more people that understand me and my perchance to appear unfriendly(which is far from the truth). For all this…I feel more connected to my gym and its people. It has become a more comfortable “home away from home”. I really do suggest it……even if only for one day.

What an awesome post Chrisco, Like I often go into the gym with the mindset of being private, and there have been some very social females and males that were outgoing and wanted to initiate convo, I think out of insecurity, I kinda stayed away... but now I regret that. Yeah, I think I might be changing my own mindset moving more towards what you were saying. It all depends though on the day U are having... and the state you are moving away from. Like alot of people have to wear fake social costumes on all day and their gym time is their alone time. However, I graduate and walk on December 14th. I notice since all my grad work is coming to a close that I have fewer people to express myself to, and so yeah a new social outlet is needed or more expression and interconnection. I think that I'm gonna need to up my social expression and interconnection in the gym to fill the missed outlet on campus. Yeah I feel ya, plus I know U are artistically creative and the need for expression is inherent. Great Post bro.