thx9000 said:
Coming off cycle is not fun for me. I tend to worry a lot in my day to day life. The post-cycle time period becomes one of obcessive worrying. I guess this is all about anxiety. The on-cycle and recovered states are ones where I can at least more easily cope with the anxiety and tell myself to "let it go." Emotionally I am all over the place post-cycle as well. Clomid resulted in profound sadness for me and even just a HCG/Nolva recovery is a time period where I really lean towards sadness or mild depression. Luckily this is only about a 3wk process for me with roughest part all around week two. Would rather have your post-cycle mentality, though...
I exeperience this even with HRT. Twice a year I do a course of HCG -- for two reasons. It gets the balls nice and big and bouncy. And I get a little break. And for about a week afterward I'm actually my "old" self. I feel good and like the fact that I'm not "on" anything and even consider staying off the HRT. And then after a while I feel as if somebody pulled the plug out of my life. I'm depressed. I'm anxious. I'm tired. I start thinking bout every stupid thing I ever did and wondering where it all went wrong. Then I go back on HRT and everything's fine.
It's amazing how hormones dictate ones mood. Of course, if you think about it, even libido is dertermined by the psyche. This is one of the most overlooked aspects of steroid usage, and another reason I hate to see some 19 year kid beginning to play with it. I'd give everything to feel "normal" without any assistance. But I'm pushing 50 and that's one of the inevitabilities of aging. I appreciate the fact that hormones can be manipulated in order to correct that problem. Still, if you don't need it, why use it? Is a little shortcut worth dependancy?
As Dan Duchaine once said; "Once you use steroids, a big part of the magic of bodybuilding is gone and it's replaced with a certain cynicism that can carry over to other aspects of life." Man, did he nail it with that one.
Hate to sound like a bummer, but it's the truth. I still believe gear can be used judiciously and responsibly, but when I hear kids talking about first cycles of a gram of test or usig fina, or DHT, and doing 12 week cycles and going back on after a month, and "bridging" ...sometimes I want to grab them by the lapels and force them to listen to reason. And other times I just shake my head and move on to another post. Everyone has to make their own mistakes.
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