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#3 and #4 sounds like some EF peeps.
Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the
Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here is the glorious Winner:
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a holdup in Long Beach, California,
would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire
wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it
worked.
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company
expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He
tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was
approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
taken the space.
Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabweanbus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was
supposed to be transporting from Harareto Bulawayohad escaped. Not
wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop
and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the
passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients
were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies The deception wasn't
discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk
opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash
in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the
cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The
total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15.
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinderblock through a
liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the
cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced
back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.
The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was
caught on videotape.
8 . As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran.
The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a
detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police
apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the
store. The thief
was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive
ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's
her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at
5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down
because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order.
When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available
for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
a Seattle Street, he got much more
than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick
man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police
spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged
his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner
of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it
was the best laugh he'd ever had.
Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the
Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here is the glorious Winner:
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a holdup in Long Beach, California,
would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire
wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it
worked.
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company
expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He
tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was
approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
taken the space.
Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabweanbus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was
supposed to be transporting from Harareto Bulawayohad escaped. Not
wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop
and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the
passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients
were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies The deception wasn't
discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk
opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash
in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the
cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The
total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15.
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinderblock through a
liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the
cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced
back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.
The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was
caught on videotape.
8 . As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran.
The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a
detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police
apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the
store. The thief
was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive
ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's
her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at
5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down
because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order.
When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available
for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
a Seattle Street, he got much more
than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick
man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police
spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged
his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner
of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it
was the best laugh he'd ever had.
