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No kids = ?
- Thread starter anthrax
- Start date
Depends on your point of view. Some may view it as you not pulling your weight for chipping in for procreation of the species. Or not contributing by producing a productive member of society by having kids. If our population were stagnant this would be an argument, but seeing as how it is increasing, this isnt an argument really.
foreigngirl
New member
dont feel bad, I used to say that I done ever want to have children, cause they are gonna tie me down and I cant do anything anymore. But, after having my two girls, I feel a complete person. So, its not bad saying that and feeling that way
J
jenscats5
Guest
anthrax said:
The most common argument I get is "Don't you want someone to take care of you when you're old?" Ummmm, like that's a good reason to have kids.
I've never wanted kids -- I have no desire to be pregnant or to reproduce. I think MORE people should "admit" to this as, IMO, the way I've seen a lot of people treat their kids is atrocious. Having kids only to scream at them constantly & treat them like shit is MORE selfish than not wanting them in the first place.
jackangel
New member
kindly inform them that everyone is selfish, to some extent. self-interest is a better word, less negative in its connotation.
these parents almost certainly have had children out of selfishness. they do so
because they want them. if you do not want them, and end up not having them,
you are in a minority...but that doesn't make your desire any more selfish than
anyone else's. desire is inherently selfish.
most absurd criticism ever. anyone who thinks that everyone should have children, or tries to convince others to have them...should be hit with a rolled-up newspaper.
bad, bad human.
these parents almost certainly have had children out of selfishness. they do so
because they want them. if you do not want them, and end up not having them,
you are in a minority...but that doesn't make your desire any more selfish than
anyone else's. desire is inherently selfish.
most absurd criticism ever. anyone who thinks that everyone should have children, or tries to convince others to have them...should be hit with a rolled-up newspaper.
bad, bad human.
foreigngirl
New member
jackangel said:
agreed
J
jenscats5
Guest
jackangel said:
Well, it's funny exactly how many people there are who believe just that. You don't know how many people decide to try to change my mind once they find out I don't care to have kids.
Very strange.....
J
jenscats5
Guest
HumorMe said:
For YOU maybe.....
jenscats5 said:
You're 100% correct and almost at the core of a really big human issue.
Doubtful. "Society" allows anyone to choose any path nowadays. Don't want to get married? No problem. Want to turn gay? No problem. Don't want to have kids? No problem.
Personally, if you don't want to have kids, fine. If you want to be gay, fine. If you don't want to get married, fine. I may have an opinion of you, but it doesn't really matter.
Personally, if you don't want to have kids, fine. If you want to be gay, fine. If you don't want to get married, fine. I may have an opinion of you, but it doesn't really matter.
foreigngirl
New member
for me tooHumorMe said:
It's most certainly a big factor in why I don't want them right now. I'm still going to school and would want to establish my career more before I made that kind of commitment. Not to say I wouldn't love kids if I had them but I feel like I have no parenting ability or materinal instincts.
The main reasons I'd want kids are all wrong reasons. I know my husband would like them and my parents would. I'm not so sure I do and I don't feel bad about that either.
The main reasons I'd want kids are all wrong reasons. I know my husband would like them and my parents would. I'm not so sure I do and I don't feel bad about that either.
eat big said:
Kids are great. I want to have kids at some point, teach them good values, give them opportunities to experience the world, and hopefully create people who will make a difference in the world.
When I see bad parenting...not abuse, just lousy parents) it makes me sad because you only get to do childhood once, and it really sucks to spend your childhood under the control of some asshole adult revisiting their insecurities and shortcomings on you.
Too many parents do that, and I wish they didn't.
PBR
New member
i think the motives for having children by most people are distorted...IMO children are the ultimate gift between two "loving" people when there is nothing left to give....an ultimate gift....anything else, or any other reason IMO is pure selfishness.
this is not a nice world we live in...and its not going to get any nicer or easier or cheaper either...
this is not a nice world we live in...and its not going to get any nicer or easier or cheaper either...
anthrax said:
Yep. That's why I added the word "hopefully" in that last clause.
If you can't handle it, don't do it. My assistant has three kids, works about 40 hours a week, and is a fantastic Mom. She's not magical or anything, she just does what she has to do.
J
jenscats5
Guest
Wootoom said:
And that's fine for you..........but not everyone needs children to feel that living is worthwhile or to feel complete as a person.
I don't feel any less of a person or a human for not having kids.....and I certainly enjoy life to its fullest & feel my life is just as worthwhile.....
Wootoom said:
Illogical.
Would you say your life leading up to the birth of your child was a waste?
dazzlindee
New member
Wouldn't give mine up for the world!!! Best thing that happened to me!! 
strangebrew
New member
jenscats5 said:
You gotta have a baby!!!
It would depend on how you value life. If a person just lived their life in a haphazard fashion and didn't contribute anything; then I would say that it was a waste. However, if a person (before kids), contributed in some fashion (ala George Bailey), then it wasn't a waste.MattTheSkywalker said:
Given the interconnections between people and the whole "butterfly effect", I could see how a person could say that no life is ever a waste.
vinylgroover
New member
I'm not sure yet. I guess i will only be sure when and if i get married and it's something i want to share with that person.
Having said all that, i believe humans should be fundamentally no different to any other animal species and that our single purpose in life should be to reproduce.
Having said all that, i believe humans should be fundamentally no different to any other animal species and that our single purpose in life should be to reproduce.
foreigngirl
New member
a little off topic, but I could never understand the moms that can give up their child. When I first saw each of my daughters, I couldnt stop crying from joy and couldnt let her go
vinylgroover
New member
EnderJE said:
no not at all.......i just think that those of us who can were essentially created with that in mind. what we choose to do is another matter.
foreigngirl
New member
EnderJE said:
I heard that some of them just leave their kids anywhere - in front of a door, abandoned in a old car on junkyard...
I dont know how can they do it, dont they ever wonder what happened to those kids
jestros
Banned
I could care less what anyone else does, but I like kids. They are great. There are alot of things about them that are better than adults. One being that they dont "play games".
If your fat or smell funny, they'll come up to you and say "your fat and smell". And they wont mean anything by it, they just say whats what.
If your fat or smell funny, they'll come up to you and say "your fat and smell". And they wont mean anything by it, they just say whats what.
squatpuke
New member
.
.
My wife and I were married for 10 years before we had kids...we waited for selfish reasons...ie. wanted this or that. Got a lot of pressure from the grand-folks and other friends who were parents, but we just pissed all that off....(that sucks and you really HATE hearing that when your not ready).
Now 5 years later and we've got 3...and they are the greatest...
One thing that I really noticed was that it's very hard to relate to having kids and being a parent until you really are one...I distinctly remember thinking people were crazy for having kids...and now I kick myself for waiting so long. The joy they bring EVERYDAY far surpasses any cost or desire for myself that I ever had...just to watch them in the sandbox or relate to each other is a real hoot. Can't imagine my life without them now...
However, I do understand the otherside as well....
I think the joy that kids give is directly related to the upbringing that the parents are providing...chances are, if the kids are bratty, then the parents aren't enriching their lives like they should be...(MHO).
.
My wife and I were married for 10 years before we had kids...we waited for selfish reasons...ie. wanted this or that. Got a lot of pressure from the grand-folks and other friends who were parents, but we just pissed all that off....(that sucks and you really HATE hearing that when your not ready).
Now 5 years later and we've got 3...and they are the greatest...
One thing that I really noticed was that it's very hard to relate to having kids and being a parent until you really are one...I distinctly remember thinking people were crazy for having kids...and now I kick myself for waiting so long. The joy they bring EVERYDAY far surpasses any cost or desire for myself that I ever had...just to watch them in the sandbox or relate to each other is a real hoot. Can't imagine my life without them now...
However, I do understand the otherside as well....
I think the joy that kids give is directly related to the upbringing that the parents are providing...chances are, if the kids are bratty, then the parents aren't enriching their lives like they should be...(MHO).
J
jenscats5
Guest
EnderJE said:
I agree with this also -- as an adopted child I have to give major props to my 16 yo birth mother (well 16 when she had me) who was able to give me up for adoption so I could have a better life......
vinylgroover said:
Do you have kids?
If not, by your reasoning you have failed in the only thing that matters.
milo hobgoblin
New member
The only people who would say shit like that are dumbfucks who have nothing because they have kids and cant afford shit and are envious of you because you're probably much better off.
If there is even a glimmer of doubt that you dont want kids for ANY reason. DONT HAVE EM. And WHATEVER that reason is is yours alone..
If there is even a glimmer of doubt that you dont want kids for ANY reason. DONT HAVE EM. And WHATEVER that reason is is yours alone..
kristie_doll1980
New member
Milo Hobgoblin said:
agreed. not everyone should have kids. just look at the news and see how many kids are abused, neglected, and killed by people who should never have had them. if having a child isn't what you most desire, don't have any. if you can't afford them or can't give up your social life, don't do it either
strangebrew
New member
biteme said:
That's where the problem lies. People view pain and suffering as something unnatural. Take away pain and pleasure ceases to exist. Pain is a different feeling than pleasure, no better and no worse. When you accept life for what it is, the words "pain" and "pleasure" become nothing but silly concepts invented by society.
strangebrew
New member
biteme said:
That's the point. Dying is no different than living. It's just the other side of the same coin.
outset2
New member
I like kids but I don’t think I have what it takes to be a good father. I have the best parents and they gave me and my bro a great childhood. Still we didn’t turn out as good as we could have, theirs so many things that can go wrong in this world. I would worry too much about my kids, if I had any. I feel so bad sometimes because I know how much my parents would like to have grand children, I’m getting old now, and I don’t see it happening.
J
jenscats5
Guest
EnderJE said:
Actually, my birth mother did have another daughter - but I've never met her....
jrlex
New member
Razorguns said:Compare the quality of life for a 70 y/o with no kids...and a 70 y/o with 7 kids.
Enough said.
(btw: funny how people base having kids or not, based upon economic mathematical equations! Too funny).
Well we might now agree on the samethings but we like the same music.
strangebrew said:
This is pure, 100% unadulterated bullshit. Rarely do you see it in such fine form.
Pain and pleasure - I assume you mean the emotional kind - can be produced by chemical reactions in the brain of people from all socieities and all backgrounds.
Thus the society and or background have nothing to do with it.
Have a nice day.
I'd rather people who don't want kids to not have them. I, too, don't like seeing kids being "abused" by their parents. I say to myself "Why the hell did they have kids, to do THIS to them. I wish they could watch themselves on a video doing this to their kid...".
After having a child and one on the way (Due in December, yay) I can see which of my friends would have a tough time having kids. It's definately NOT for everyone. I've had a very hard time with it, your life is definately not yours anymore (depending on how much money you have it can be easier though) and you have to sacrifice a lot, but it's definately a fun trip to be on personally. I'm definately looking forward to the second one.
I've said this before, I could'nt wait to make a baby with my wife to have a little person just like the both of us, be a part of us, from us, the person I love most in life, to "duplicate" her and raise her child with her... AWESOME. Now another... It's just another stage in my life. Again, it's not for everyone and I applaud those that do realize this and do NOT give birth. That is a resposible decision, not a selfish one.
Having said all that, I do think parents should still live their life, although difficult, one cannot stop living for themselves and live solely for the child. You WILL burn out and become a shell of your former self that way. Kids can drain you very easily. It's not their fault, that's what they do, they're needy (of course). You should show them by example what it is "mom and dad" do and love, so they can have something to look up to. If everything is centered around them, they'll always expect that and one day will get a surprising dose of reality.
I just went off topic a little at the end there. thanks
After having a child and one on the way (Due in December, yay) I can see which of my friends would have a tough time having kids. It's definately NOT for everyone. I've had a very hard time with it, your life is definately not yours anymore (depending on how much money you have it can be easier though) and you have to sacrifice a lot, but it's definately a fun trip to be on personally. I'm definately looking forward to the second one.
I've said this before, I could'nt wait to make a baby with my wife to have a little person just like the both of us, be a part of us, from us, the person I love most in life, to "duplicate" her and raise her child with her... AWESOME. Now another... It's just another stage in my life. Again, it's not for everyone and I applaud those that do realize this and do NOT give birth. That is a resposible decision, not a selfish one.
Having said all that, I do think parents should still live their life, although difficult, one cannot stop living for themselves and live solely for the child. You WILL burn out and become a shell of your former self that way. Kids can drain you very easily. It's not their fault, that's what they do, they're needy (of course). You should show them by example what it is "mom and dad" do and love, so they can have something to look up to. If everything is centered around them, they'll always expect that and one day will get a surprising dose of reality.
I just went off topic a little at the end there. thanks
gonelifting said:
Yep, that about sums it up.
strangebrew
New member
MattTheSkywalker said:
lol. I worded this completely wrong. Society should not have even been in there.
What I meant is that - pain is seen as something unnatural, unwanted, and something to avoid at all cost. When you embrace it rather than trying to escape from it - the word loses it's meaning. I've done this. The mind is constantly wandering. But when you stop it completely(well, close), all definitions of everything cease to exist.
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