Need some advice.

[Daisy_]

As some of you know my sister in law hates me for no reason whats so ever. It is our nieces birthday monday. I am going to call her, I just don't know how yet. Should I call the house, and not let her get to me, or should I dodge the sister in law and call the brother in laws cell do get to his daughter? I dont think I should And I do plan on calling the house. But. I was told that she might tell me to never call there house again, If she does do that how should I respond. I am so nervous, and I am not the one to fight. So I am not about to do that. Its just so hard. All of this just makes me so sad.

 

[Buddy_Christ]

This is the stance my dad took when his fiance and my sister started getting nasty to each other (it was all my sister's fault too). He said, "if your sister tried to cut me off from my grandson because of her childish ways, then she can explain to her son why he never sees me. Sure, I'll be upset, but eventually her son will learn the truth when he gets older."

My sister didn't cut him off though, and has actually matured a little bit.

I'd try to dodge the sister-in-law if you can. Just my opinion.

 

[Sub-Zero]

lol why would she hate u for no reason? i bet her husband cheated on her with u or something

give us more details


eiother way who gives a fuck just call

 

[JayC9]

You're going to have to confront the problem sooner or later but your neices birthday may not be the best time so personally I'd try to pass on your birthday message in a way that will cause the least amount of friction.

 

[*MissFit*]

since there is alreayd tension.. migh be best to send ur wishes with your hubby

 

[Daisy_]

I really want to wish my niece a happy birthday. And me dodging her would let her win or her trying to control me. if I just call there in my happy voice when she answers the phone. pretend like nothing is going on, and ask to talk to the niece. Like whats wrong with that.

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

The first thing you should do is find out why she hates you so much, either through her husband, or better yet, herself (if at all possible). This is the only way the in-law situation has a chance of improving: confronting the problem....since it doesn't sound like her loathing of you is going away anytime soon.


Let us know how it went.

 

[Daisy_]

The first thing you should do is find out why she hates you so much, either through her husband, or better yet, herself (if at all possible). This is the only way the in-law situation has a chance of improving: confronting the problem....since it doesn't sound like her loathing of you is going away anytime soon.


Let us know how it went.

I tried that through an email a while back. I was very nice in the email. She started a huge family war. She called everyone BUT ME. It was a mess. She never gave me an answer either. So I stay away from that

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

I tried that through an email a while back. I was very nice in the email. She started a huge family war. She called everyone BUT ME. It was a mess. She never gave me an answer either. So I stay away from that

WTF, that's just messed up. She seriously has issues, won't your husband try to talk to her or find out why?

It's either you find out why or be ok with things the way they are.

Good luck, and stand your ground.

 

[velvett]

I tried that through an email a while back. I was very nice in the email. She started a huge family war. She called everyone BUT ME. It was a mess. She never gave me an answer either. So I stay away from that

The next family get together while you are both there in front of witnesses ask her very nicely and calmly if you have done something to offend her.

When she gives you that fake "why ever would you ask me something like that" say well, I could not help but notice your behavior towards me then give her examples.

If anything the people around you will realize she has a screw loose and in time when she calls "other members" of the family they will simply roll their eyes the second she starts talking about you.

Good Luck

 

[Daisy_]

Thanks guys.

 

[SoKlueles]

I hate my sister in law too

 

[Daisy_]

I hate my sister in law too

it sucks. I dont hate her, she just hates me.

 

[superqt4u2nv]

As some of you know my sister in law hates me for no reason whats so ever. It is our nieces birthday monday. I am going to call her, I just don't know how yet. Should I call the house, and not let her get to me, or should I dodge the sister in law and call the brother in laws cell do get to his daughter? I dont think I should And I do plan on calling the house. But. I was told that she might tell me to never call there house again, If she does do that how should I respond. I am so nervous, and I am not the one to fight. So I am not about to do that. Its just so hard. All of this just makes me so sad.

Call the house if she has a problem with it tell her you guys need to sit down and talk. Your with your hubby now for better or for worse so you are going to be a part of her life no matter what. Tell her you would like to be adult about things and get past whatever the problem is that she has with you. It is more then likely something that is petty and small. To smooth thing over say sorry it was not my intention to hurt you or whatever then move on with it.

 

[SoKlueles]

it sucks. I dont hate her, she just hates me.

Its hard to explain why i dislike my sis in law......she likes to do stuff for people and then brag about how she "helped them"
She is very judgemental on people even tho shes had 2 illegitimate kids with gosh knows who.....but because she goes to church now, she thinks shes above everyone else and I hate that. She doesnt like going around my family even tho she says she loves everyone "gag" shes just a piece of work........well in her own mind she is

 

[CFZB]

I think all the chicks in this thread should have a Pillow fight and Post Pics.

thats my advice.

thanks.

 

[LoneTree]

I do not recommend confrontational approach.
That has the effect of 'cornering' the other person.
I always give a way out or face saving opportunity to the other person.
I have a 'result oriented' approach.
Your whole objective is to have a connection with your niece.
I don't know your history.
But may be this would work: Think about something that she actually does well. May be create an opportunity to praise her. You were somewhere or doing something and it reminded you about how she does that so well. It may disarm her. Invite her for something. Then ask her how your niece is doing. Ask her if she is home. And then ask her if you can talk to her and wish her happy birthday.
She is her mother and she is always going to be her mother. You have to work around it.
For her sake, you may have to sacrifice your self respect.