Need objective opinions please!

[HumorMe]

This past Friday night, I took my family out to eat at a local restuarant. I know the owner of the restuarant and I like the food and the atmosphere. It's a steak type restuarant and they bring you a bucket of roasted peanuts while you wait and you just throw the shells on the floor and they have a bar in the rear.

I have two daughters 9 and 5. My oldest daughter is in the fourth grade and she is very intelligent and social. When we were seated, we happened to be seated right next to her fourth grade teacher. She didn't see us because the booths are so tall. I knew she was there but my daughter didn't. I haven't been to happy on the education my daughter has been receiving and have had several run-ins with this particular teacher. Not trying to judge people but this woman is pure redneck trash. My daughter tells me she yells and screams at them and spends almost her entire time in the class on the computer. My daughter has had straight A's since she started the 1st grade, so I know she is very smart but she seems to get into all kind of trouble at school. Not bad trouble but this always happens after tests and other things when she has free time. She always finishes her tests first and then there is nothing to do but get into trouble. I have a feeling she is bored out of her skull and is not being challenged.

Here's the real story.......While we were eating, the teacher became louder and louder and the profanity started flying from her mouth. She would get up and go somewhere and she was stumbling around and weaving while she walked. My daughter saw every bit of this and heard all of the profanity. This has really been bothering me because my daughter picked up on all of this and knew exactly what was happening. I was so furious as well as my wife was too! The teacher is about 34 years old and she was not in the company of her husband. My daughter kept wondering who she was hanging all over. It looked like her date!

Objectively........What are your feelings here? Should I say anything to her? Should I approach her principal(which is very good friend of mine)? The district has an anonimous hotline to report unprofessionalism of district teachers. They also have a code of conduct for teachers "outside the classroom." What should I do....nothing...keep my mouth shut....blah, blah, blah! I really don't know. My wife is a teacher and she is furious. Let me know!

 

[the nature boy]

I know how you feel, you should be upset. however, if you complain to a principal, you should do so on her teaching skills and merits, not what she does socially. Just my .02, I'm not in your shoes so I don't expect you to agree.

 

[big4life]

I would talk to the principal about her classroom behavior.
I would leave out the part about her behavior outside the school.
While it may have been embarassing for your daughter to wittness her teacher drunk I wouldn't complain about that.

Try talking to some of the other parents and see what they say about her classroom behavior.

 

[Warik]

Her social behavior is none of the principal's business. It is, however, your business as long as it is demonstrated in front of your daughter.

If you wish to pursue anything further, meet with her in private to discuss your disapproval of her behavior, and that, despite the fact that she did not know your daughter was present, her behavior is not one of a school teacher - or even that of an intelligent adult.

As a recent high school graduate, I know the things kids go through in elementary schools. What other explanation, besides an unfit teacher, do you have for a straight A/B student who is often bored in class due to the ease of things having problems in school? Happened to me. Great grades throughout the years, always did my homework, always slept during class because it was so easy, yet I was always in trouble.

If your child is a good student and she says the teacher is the cause of her problems, then believe her.

-Warik

 

[HumorMe]

I would talk to the principal about her classroom behavior.
I would leave out the part about her behavior outside the school.
While it may have been embarassing for your daughter to wittness her teacher drunk I wouldn't complain about that.

Try talking to some of the other parents and see what they say about her classroom behavior.

Nature Boy and Big

I know what you are saying about classroom behavior and skills and merits. Complaining will only lead to grudges against me and my wife and trickle down to my daughter.

Behavior outside the classroom is really none of my business BUT in a family type restuarant in public....I think it is everybody's business because of the effect it can have on those around them.

Our town is very small. Bunping into the same person two or three times a day around town is not uncommon. News travels very fast here.

There are other parents not satisfied with her approach to teaching. She sends home graded tests and various graded assignments every two weeks. My wife, being a school teacher, regrades everything regardless if it is graded a 70 or 100. The mistakes(graded wrong but should be right) on her part that have been found are atrocious. Sometimes, realizing an entire letter grade difference. That is not right! This regrading has caused tension between us. She is defensive around us. She even asked for a conference with us and made my daughter sit in while she flat ridiculed my daughter to tears. She said that none of the teachers wanted to be around her because she is disrespectful. She said, my daughter was disrespectful and had five teachers writing letters depicting this. The funny thing is, she couldn't recall one single incident about the disrespectfullness but called another teacher into the conference to tell us AND SHE couldn't recall EXACTLY what was said but she claimed she was disrespectful. Now, with nobody remembering anything, I stood up and looked them both in the eyes and said, Well...I wish somebody would tell me something because nobody can remember anything. At this point, my respect for her has diminished to where it is now.

We are old-fashioned to say the least and respect and manners are our first priority. I have never seen her disrespectful around adults.

 

[HumorMe]

Her social behavior is none of the principal's business. It is, however, your business as long as it is demonstrated in front of your daughter.

If you wish to pursue anything further, meet with her in private to discuss your disapproval of her behavior, and that, despite the fact that she did not know your daughter was present, her behavior is not one of a school teacher - or even that of an intelligent adult.

As a recent high school graduate, I know the things kids go through in elementary schools. What other explanation, besides an unfit teacher, do you have for a straight A/B student who is often bored in class due to the ease of things having problems in school? Happened to me. Great grades throughout the years, always did my homework, always slept during class because it was so easy, yet I was always in trouble.

If your child is a good student and she says the teacher is the cause of her problems, then believe her.

-Warik

Warik,

The teachers in our district sign a contract every year. In this contract, a clause about "outside the classroom behavior" is sternly given. Improper conduct unbecoming of a professional teacher will not be tolerated inside or outside the classroom. I think this behavior is unbecoming of her. I have instructed our daughter to not breathe a word of this at school because there could be serious ramifications to her. (I had to tell her something while I think about it)

She is not being challenged. They have one day a week that they get to attend classes off campus. These classes are for the gifted and she lives for that day because she learns so much. She is a "hands-on" type of student. Her mind is turning a thousand miles an hour so to speak.

I'm sure boredom in the classroom is probably the worst thing to experience although I haven't been there done that! LOL!

 

[Warik]

The teachers in our district sign a contract every year. In this contract, a clause about "outside the classroom behavior" is sternly given. Improper conduct unbecoming of a professional teacher will not be tolerated inside or outside the classroom.

Then, by all means, use this information to unleash Hell upon her. Being an unfit teacher is a heinous crime because the victims are our children - those who cannot yet defend themselves effectively.

She is not being challenged. They have one day a week that they get to attend classes off campus. These classes are for the gifted and she lives for that day because she learns so much. She is a "hands-on" type of student. Her mind is turning a thousand miles an hour so to speak.

I remember that from second grade. I'd go to some class twice a week for an hour to be with the "gifted" kids. They were such dumbasses. I didn't have any paper one day, so I asked some kid if I could have a sheet of paper. The teacher calls the attention of the class in my direction and informs me, the newbie, that in the gifted class, whenever someone lends us supplies like paper or pencils, we have to "pay them back" the next day with the same supplies in return. Apparently she didn't hear me say HAVE instead of BORROW.

-Warik

 

[HumorMe]

Then, by all means, use this information to unleash Hell upon her. Being an unfit teacher is a heinous crime because the victims are our children - those who cannot yet defend themselves effectively.



Apparently she didn't hear me say HAVE instead of BORROW.

-Warik

This is the first year she has been in the public school system because she has always been in a private school. I know for a fact the public school teachers frown on the private school kids when they enroll in public schools. This has led to an alienation of my daughter as she had to establish new friends. Being that she could strike up a conversation with a rock, friends have come easily. She is very popular and is a leader, IMO.
I truly believe her teacher is unfit and not mature enough to let go of high school and college traditions. She is married and has kids and she still acts like this!?! She has never grown up! My wife and I make it a point not to talk about these things in front of our kids. My daughter though has expressed to us her feeling for her teacher and this episode only reinforced it.

LOL! Big difference between have and borrow!

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

HumorMe,

You have to leave your daghter with this person for 6 hours per day. This should be an easy one.

Almost every teacher contract includes a clause for professionalism outside of the classroom.

If I were you, I would talk to the principal yesterday, as well as the Superintendent and the district and state board of education.

Your kid probably spends more time with that teacher during the week than she does with you.

That's the problem with teahcers- many of them were marginal students, and that is the only job they could get.

 

[WODIN]

I'm agree with Matt this one. This is too easy.

 

[HumorMe]

HumorMe,

You have to leave your daghter with this person for 6 hours per day. This should be an easy one.

Almost every teacher contract includes a clause for professionalism outside of the classroom.

Matt
Their contracts do have that clause as I have stated earlier. If this had happened in a private club or something of the sort, I probably wouldn't have been as furious as I am now. I'm really leaning towards saying something to somebody higher up. One thng that happened yesterday was I ran into the owner's (of the restuarant) wife(she is a teacher also) and she is a good friend of ours and she is also a good friend of this teacher. She was actually taking up for this teacher!
My faith in her has now been diminished for her because she is a "curriculum coordinater" for the district. She works at the district office! Since this happened Friday night, I haven't had a chance to approach anybody about this and I have to go out of town in about an hour so I won't have time today. I know somebody will tell that teacher that we saw her at the restuarant and that her student saw her and heard the profanity she was using. It probably will not bother her though because that is how she is.

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

Humor,

Well, that;s the problem...bureaucracy. Why did you take her out of the prvate school?

Also, having an attorney call might make a greater impact.

 

[havoc]

All good points have been covered. Were you at Texas Land and Cattle Company? peace

 

[HumorMe]

Humor,
Why did you take her out of the prvate school?

Also, having an attorney call might make a greater impact.

Actually, that is another story. I was on the Board of Directors for the private school she was attending. When she was in the second grade, she had an awful teacher who never challenged her and hence she was always in trouble like she has been this year. While on the Board, I expressed my opinion that something should be done to either train this teacher better or replace her altogether. Sad to say that no action was taken because at the time there was a teacher shortage in both public and private schools. She went on to the third grade and had a banner year because the teacher was one of those rare motivaters. In the summer after her third grade year, the teachers were rescheduled as to where they would teach for the upcoming year and the same second grade teacher was going to be teaching the fourth grade. I could not go through that again, so a decision was made to enroll her in the public schools. I'm wondering if I did the right thing!

 

[HumorMe]

All good points have been covered. Were you at Texas Land and Cattle Company? peace

No, but I am from Texas! I wish I was there now. Texas is a great state, IMO.

 

[THeMaCHinE]

Look, there is no way that everybody will turn out happy in this situation. Your job as a parent is not peacemaker... your job is doing everything in your power to ensure a proper environment for your daughter. If the things you have said are strictly true, I would have been all over that teacher's ass the first time she "ridiculed my daugther until the point of tears."

Why are you even questioning what to do? Do what is best for your daughter, and likely, the other kids in the class.

 

[Y_lifter]

This is not a curriculum issue so don't take this particular issue up with the teacher directly. That will only get you in a verbal fight..

Take it up with the Principal then go up the ladder if that does not work.

My wife and I have taken on both curriculum, style and attitude issues with several of our daughters teachers over the years at a private School. The KEY is to get other parents( A Mob if you will) behind you and the School has little choice but respond.
Unfortunatly, public school disciplininary action is less swift than Private...

BTW... That Resturant sounds like Roadhouse....

 

[HumorMe]

Look, there is no way that everybody will turn out happy in this situation. Your job as a parent is not peacemaker... your job is doing everything in your power to ensure a proper environment for your daughter. If the things you have said are strictly true, I would have been all over that teacher's ass the first time she "ridiculed my daugther until the point of tears."

Why are you even questioning what to do? Do what is best for your daughter, and likely, the other kids in the class.

Machine
You are right....it's going to be a cluster fuck at the least. The problem is the smallness of the community and the bureaucracy of the district. My wife being a teacher they can cause problems in her job. I know that sounds ridiculous but that is just the way it is. Southern politics are famous for the "good ole' boys" system. Never rock the boat! I'm more in shock at the people here in my town that don't see the problem of her behavior. I say, if you are into that kind of lifestyle of getting drunk and all....go do it out of town.
This district is all about politics and fucking others in the ass is commonplace. My fuse is lit and it's close to the end. I have to go out of town today and I will talk more about it with my wife and make a decision before I get back as to what to do and how to do it appropriately.

 

[HumorMe]

This is not a curriculum issue so don't take this particular issue up with the teacher directly. That will only get you in a verbal fight..

Take it up with the Principal then go up the ladder if that does not work.

My wife and I have taken on both curriculum, style and attitude issues with several of our daughters teachers over the years at a private School. The KEY is to get other parents( A Mob if you will) behind you and the School has little choice but respond.
Unfortunatly, public school disciplininary action is less swift than Private...

BTW... That Resturant sounds like Roadhouse....

Y Lifter

I might not have been clear as to the curriculum coordinater but she was there working and she saw the whole thing and she brought it up to us. We didn't go to her. There are several other parents who we have talked to in the past about her teaching methods and they are in agreement that they are not happy either. If I break this news to them...then they are going to have a fit. You are right about disciplinary actions being slow in public schools.

It is a lot like a Roadhouse eatery. Good food!

 

[Y_lifter]

We found the easy road to victory is to get all the parents in the class to bring the issue up with a supervisor level or above as close together as possible( All in the same week for instance).

My reference to curriculum problems with teachers was meant to say that we could take these type issues up directly with the teacher first.

My 10 year old Daughter loves to peel and then throw the peanuts at Roadhouse. She gets a kick out of throwing the shells on the floor.

 

[HumorMe]

That's a good idea. I'll discuss all of this with my wife today and see what she says. The sad thing is, this teacher has been teaching for 13 years and I wonder what she has done in the past to her other students. So far, this school year is one I wish I had had foresight. It sucks when you think you are doing the right thing and it turns out to be wrong. You r kids education is so important but I feel somehow I have let her down by making the wrong decision. Maybe when the shit hits the fan things will get better. Time will tell!


Those peanuts rule! God, I could eat a ton of them.

 

[danielson]

could any of this affect you wife's career?

i had a similar problem with a shitty teacher at my school, when i was about 9-10. i told my parents, they complained, nothing was done other than not asking her to stay after the year was uo and that teacher made my life a misery

i know what you mean about the closing ranks thing as similar stuff happens here...i would ask your wife what she thinks is appropriate, and then after you agree stuff go see the principal

 

[HumorMe]

could any of this affect you wife's career?

This is the proverbial "fly in the ointment" problem. Yes, it could affect her career. She has 18 years with this district and they could make it miserable for her. Small town politics are the rule here. They could also make it miserable for my daughter and my other daughter who will start the first grade there next school year. It's going to be a tough call and I believe alot of facts will be overlooked. Damn....I wish I had left for another restuarant while I was standing in line waiting to be seated.

 

[danielson]

This is the proverbial "fly in the ointment" problem. Yes, it could affect her career. She has 18 years with this district and they could make it miserable for her. Small town politics are the rule here. They could also make it miserable for my daughter and my other daughter who will start the first grade there next school year. It's going to be a tough call and I believe alot of facts will be overlooked. Damn....I wish I had left for another restuarant while I was standing in line waiting to be seated.

hmmm....possible to transfer your girl to another teachers class then? and avoid immeadiately dropping the teacher in it

all i know is i've complained about teachers and friends have as well and its CRAZY what they will do.....grade poorly on purpose, insult, threaten etc all to mess with the childs head