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vixenbabe
Classy Skank
Do you know someone who is FUNNY when they reach a certain point in their anger? I do! My old man is funny as hell when he get's beyond his limit.
Hubbie's go to work, hunk of junk, beater car puked Monday.
Now granted, he's be stressed for going on three weeks. He's been having to travel 80+ miles for jury duty everyday.
Anyhoo, last night he decides to tackle fixing his "rent a wreck".
I hear him in the garge cussing up a storm. Drawer's are slamming, shit is flying. I go check on him to see what the hell is going on.
Our Convo:
Gab: Hon, what's wrong? Why you throwing a fit out here?
Him: I can't find the God Damn socket with the extension. I set the damn thing on the air-cleaner. It's fuckin GONE! Just GONE!
( Thank God Bri , or lil girl, is two streets away playing)
Gab
id you hear it fall on the ground at any point?
Him:I looked on the damn ground. The fuckin thing just vanished into thin fucking air!
Gab:Oooookaaaay. Let me help ya look. U check your pocket's?
Him: Hell NO! I never put stuff in my pockects. (as he's ramming his hands down in his pocket's)
Me:Chill. We'll find it.
Him:You gotta go to Sear's and get me a new one. I've looked all over the God damn car's engine. IT'S GONE I'M TELLING YA. GONE! You got cash? How much cash ya got on ya? Pay in cash cuz I don't have the fuckin time for Sear's to figure out how to charge your debit card. Don't be shopping for shoes or any shit like that. I ain't got all night. Park the damn car far out into the lot. I don't want any door dents in the Bonnie! (He's ranting like a rabid dog at this point)
Me:I'll be sure if I run into any puddles I'll stop and lift the car on my shoulders as not to get the car dirty too. ( Said with a big ass smile)
Him:This shit ain't funny. You going now? I don't have all night!
Me: I'm gonna look under the hood first. Sometimes things are in plain site.
( I looking while he's ranting)
Him:I tell ya. You are not gonna find it. I've looked. You think I don't know what a god damn socket looks like? I'm telling ya.The fucker is gone and you're wasting time looking. God damn it all to hell. I don't have time for this shit right now!! I've looked all all the fucking garage too so don't even bother goin there. You need to get your ass to Sear's is what YOU need to do!Damn socket fell into this hunk of shit car and IT'S GONE!
(I'm looking and really startin to think this damn thing DID vanish!)
Me: I SEE IT!Come here. LOOK!
Him:Well, I'll be a son of a bitch!
Me:Gee, I wonder how that socket fell and got hooked onto the spark plug?
(DEAD SILENCE) I then see a smile!
Him:Baby, I love you!Thanks!
ALMOST as good as the time we re-roofed our house: 10 of his closest buddies and a keg of beer! WTF? Keg of beer+10 guys+ 100 degree temps? Why not invite Charlie Manson over, throw him a shingle cutter and crank up HELTER SHELTER on the stereo while you're at it, babe?!
Hubbie's go to work, hunk of junk, beater car puked Monday.
Now granted, he's be stressed for going on three weeks. He's been having to travel 80+ miles for jury duty everyday.
Anyhoo, last night he decides to tackle fixing his "rent a wreck".
I hear him in the garge cussing up a storm. Drawer's are slamming, shit is flying. I go check on him to see what the hell is going on.
Our Convo:
Gab: Hon, what's wrong? Why you throwing a fit out here?
Him: I can't find the God Damn socket with the extension. I set the damn thing on the air-cleaner. It's fuckin GONE! Just GONE!
( Thank God Bri , or lil girl, is two streets away playing)
Gab
id you hear it fall on the ground at any point?Him:I looked on the damn ground. The fuckin thing just vanished into thin fucking air!
Gab:Oooookaaaay. Let me help ya look. U check your pocket's?
Him: Hell NO! I never put stuff in my pockects. (as he's ramming his hands down in his pocket's)
Me:Chill. We'll find it.
Him:You gotta go to Sear's and get me a new one. I've looked all over the God damn car's engine. IT'S GONE I'M TELLING YA. GONE! You got cash? How much cash ya got on ya? Pay in cash cuz I don't have the fuckin time for Sear's to figure out how to charge your debit card. Don't be shopping for shoes or any shit like that. I ain't got all night. Park the damn car far out into the lot. I don't want any door dents in the Bonnie! (He's ranting like a rabid dog at this point)
Me:I'll be sure if I run into any puddles I'll stop and lift the car on my shoulders as not to get the car dirty too. ( Said with a big ass smile)
Him:This shit ain't funny. You going now? I don't have all night!
Me: I'm gonna look under the hood first. Sometimes things are in plain site.
( I looking while he's ranting)
Him:I tell ya. You are not gonna find it. I've looked. You think I don't know what a god damn socket looks like? I'm telling ya.The fucker is gone and you're wasting time looking. God damn it all to hell. I don't have time for this shit right now!! I've looked all all the fucking garage too so don't even bother goin there. You need to get your ass to Sear's is what YOU need to do!Damn socket fell into this hunk of shit car and IT'S GONE!
(I'm looking and really startin to think this damn thing DID vanish!)
Me: I SEE IT!Come here. LOOK!
Him:Well, I'll be a son of a bitch!
Me:Gee, I wonder how that socket fell and got hooked onto the spark plug?
(DEAD SILENCE) I then see a smile!
Him:Baby, I love you!Thanks!
ALMOST as good as the time we re-roofed our house: 10 of his closest buddies and a keg of beer! WTF? Keg of beer+10 guys+ 100 degree temps? Why not invite Charlie Manson over, throw him a shingle cutter and crank up HELTER SHELTER on the stereo while you're at it, babe?!
