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METHYL MIKE
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Disclaimer: This is by no means an imitation of the Ranger or any shit like that, he just inspired me so i wrote this shit! I only spent like an hour on it so enjoy! Btw, I realize I aint exactly at his level, but who really is??
When I was young boy,
People said I was anorexic, that I looked frightfully small.
I was thrown around like a used battered toy,
by the boys, girls, and all.
So I looked in the mirror one day, and I didn’t like what I saw,
I looked like some hillbilly mutherfucker, kicking up dust on a rerun from heehaw!
So I got my weight bench set up, and put 60 pounds on the bar.
But when I tried to push that shit up, it didn’t travel very far!
But I was determined!
I’d move this weight for sure!
I didn’t know it then,
But I’d been bitten by the one bug with no cure.
I lifted on that rickety bench, every day and every night.
I lifted in the heat, and in the cold, till my clothes all grew very tight!
I lifted when I could lift no more, it was quite a fight!
I think I was a little out of my mind,
But still I continued to struggle with all my might!
Then one day I entered a gym, and it was quite a sight!
With its’ motorized contraptions and walls cleanly painted white!
I quickly left that place, feeling no love at all.
I felt like I was going to puke, I swear I saw pics of suzanne summers on the wall!
So I searched out a new home, one with floors stained with sweat.
I’ve still not found my graceland,
But I havent given up yet!
To this day I search, I beg and I pray,
That maybe I’ll be able to lift with the Iron Gods
In my rustic heaven some day!
But I realize my Iron Home I may never find,
As I squat with the Spice Girls blaring.
I can’t even concentrate-I’ll surely lose my mind!
I’m blinded by all the colors people are wearing!
Twas to the Iron Heavens that I always reached
And as I pore my memories,
I’m reminded of what the Iron God once preached.
“Lift till thy hands are bloody,
Till vomit begins to fall.
Lift till the sweat dripping in your eyes makes your vision muddy,
Till you think you’ve hit the fucking wall!
Stay strong, stay big and always hard!
Never weak, meek or small!
If you obey my rules, freaky you shall become!
And raisins shall replace your balls!”
By: METHYL MIKE
When I was young boy,
People said I was anorexic, that I looked frightfully small.
I was thrown around like a used battered toy,
by the boys, girls, and all.
So I looked in the mirror one day, and I didn’t like what I saw,
I looked like some hillbilly mutherfucker, kicking up dust on a rerun from heehaw!
So I got my weight bench set up, and put 60 pounds on the bar.
But when I tried to push that shit up, it didn’t travel very far!
But I was determined!
I’d move this weight for sure!
I didn’t know it then,
But I’d been bitten by the one bug with no cure.
I lifted on that rickety bench, every day and every night.
I lifted in the heat, and in the cold, till my clothes all grew very tight!
I lifted when I could lift no more, it was quite a fight!
I think I was a little out of my mind,
But still I continued to struggle with all my might!
Then one day I entered a gym, and it was quite a sight!
With its’ motorized contraptions and walls cleanly painted white!
I quickly left that place, feeling no love at all.
I felt like I was going to puke, I swear I saw pics of suzanne summers on the wall!
So I searched out a new home, one with floors stained with sweat.
I’ve still not found my graceland,
But I havent given up yet!
To this day I search, I beg and I pray,
That maybe I’ll be able to lift with the Iron Gods
In my rustic heaven some day!
But I realize my Iron Home I may never find,
As I squat with the Spice Girls blaring.
I can’t even concentrate-I’ll surely lose my mind!
I’m blinded by all the colors people are wearing!
Twas to the Iron Heavens that I always reached
And as I pore my memories,
I’m reminded of what the Iron God once preached.
“Lift till thy hands are bloody,
Till vomit begins to fall.
Lift till the sweat dripping in your eyes makes your vision muddy,
Till you think you’ve hit the fucking wall!
Stay strong, stay big and always hard!
Never weak, meek or small!
If you obey my rules, freaky you shall become!
And raisins shall replace your balls!”
By: METHYL MIKE
Last edited:
good poem, and the truth about the music at most gyms....
