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i did it to sound like my friend posted it...
Ok, as much as I enjoy wearing green aprons, emblazoned with what is probably the mark of the beast, and serving lattes and cappuccinos sexually stimulating, I find myself needing of something more.
By something more, I mean a person who is willing to do things that would not only offend their better judgement but God as well.
When you work 8 hour shifts surrounded by confused, transgendered 18 year old coworkers and a management team handpicked by Satan himself, masochism just becomes the next logical step.
That's where you come in.
As my boss must have already realized, I enjoy being fucked. However, there is only one Niles, and you aren't him. but that doesn't mean there isn't a place in my life for you. So, you're still in luck.
I am looking for someone who I would not see already engaged in another 'casual encounter' in the restroom of a bowling alley, liqour store, or on an amusement park ride.
You must be able to make an underground Danish S&M porno magazine look like the holiday edition of Focus on the Family.
You must also be shaved. Not just 'down there', but all over. I want you to be as slick and smooth as a bottle-nose dolphin when properly lubricated.
You must not be claustrophobic. See: Body condom, matching leather mask and suit, and large, indoor acquarium.
Must not be allergic to latex, water-based lubricant, domestic oats, and exotic fur/leather/featers.
The following is not necessarily a 'must', but it is desirable: be familiar with emergency medical procedures, firefighting, and several magic tricks.
And being that I am a well respected member of the community, it will be necessary for all parties involved to sign a confidentiality agreement. If you aren't willing to sign it, than I am not willing to meet with you.
Pictures are available upon request and receipt of others.
Ok, as much as I enjoy wearing green aprons, emblazoned with what is probably the mark of the beast, and serving lattes and cappuccinos sexually stimulating, I find myself needing of something more.
By something more, I mean a person who is willing to do things that would not only offend their better judgement but God as well.
When you work 8 hour shifts surrounded by confused, transgendered 18 year old coworkers and a management team handpicked by Satan himself, masochism just becomes the next logical step.
That's where you come in.
As my boss must have already realized, I enjoy being fucked. However, there is only one Niles, and you aren't him. but that doesn't mean there isn't a place in my life for you. So, you're still in luck.
I am looking for someone who I would not see already engaged in another 'casual encounter' in the restroom of a bowling alley, liqour store, or on an amusement park ride.
You must be able to make an underground Danish S&M porno magazine look like the holiday edition of Focus on the Family.
You must also be shaved. Not just 'down there', but all over. I want you to be as slick and smooth as a bottle-nose dolphin when properly lubricated.
You must not be claustrophobic. See: Body condom, matching leather mask and suit, and large, indoor acquarium.
Must not be allergic to latex, water-based lubricant, domestic oats, and exotic fur/leather/featers.
The following is not necessarily a 'must', but it is desirable: be familiar with emergency medical procedures, firefighting, and several magic tricks.
And being that I am a well respected member of the community, it will be necessary for all parties involved to sign a confidentiality agreement. If you aren't willing to sign it, than I am not willing to meet with you.
Pictures are available upon request and receipt of others.
