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My Cow Bell Neighboors

PlateheadJim

Penguin Keeper
Platinum
My Roly Poly Neighboors can be quite entertaining:

- They consists of a 4 whales, husband and wife + 2 ugly teenagers that are growing up just like their parents..

- They mow their tiny yard with a huge riding lawnmower and a battery operated fan attached to it (no shit).. Hell, I mow my lawn - as in 2 acres - with a push mower. They asked me before why I don't get a riding lawn mower and I tell them unless I'm horribly disabled or 98 years there's no need..

- They have these monthly bake parties where all the whales of the neighboorhood come over and bury theirselves in cake & icecream.. My wife & I don't participate..

Well, to add to this tale of horror I was out in the yard Wednesday evening, just finished push mowing half the yard and I heard a fucking bell.. I asked my wife wtf was that and she said it sounds like a cow bell. I stare through the bushes to the neighboors yard (we keep the bushes high as possible) and they're ringing a bell to let their horribly fat kids know it's feeding time!

They did this Thursday as well.. You should see the kids run too! Who says fat people can't run... My god you'd think somebody lit their ass on fire as they sprint and roll, shaking the ground as they head to feeding time!
 
OMG!!! There is a family like this that lives next to a friend of mine... They have a feeding triangle.. and they don't stop ringing it until the kids are on the porch.....
 
lol my mom used to whistle, real loud, when she wanted anything. now days all the kids just get a cellphone.
 
Where do you get a fan for a riding lawn mower? I need to tell Mr. Wong, my yard guy because he really looks like he is working up a sweat out there.
 
WODIN said:
Where do you get a fan for a riding lawn mower? I need to tell Mr. Wong, my yard guy because he really looks like he is working up a sweat out there.

Not sure where they got it... But damn! It's funny to watch, when I get a chance I'm going to suggest a portable air conditioner, a TV, and a mini-refrigerator... Hmmm, do I smell another FAT INVENTION? Let's see:

The Fat Bandit Riding LardMower - Impress your friends while you: Eat your twinkies, watch Drew Carey, mow the lawn and not even break a sweat!!!! The Fat Bandit Riding LardMower has a built in recliner, portable air conditioner, mini regrigerator and a "treat" holder that will allow you to gobble down your favorite treats with a hands free effort!

And yes, you can write this off on your insurance and get a tax break. Afterall your insurance company & the IRS doesn't want you to have a stroke out mowing that vicious 10ft by 10ft lawn!

Act now! For just the cost of 4 twinkies a day, 12 months of payments, it can be yours!!!!
 
Hey PLateHeadJim - just spread cookie crumbs on your lawn and ring the cow bell. They'll gnaw your grass down to the roots trying to get those oreo bits.
 
An IDEA

frorider6 said:
Hey PLateHeadJim - just spread cookie crumbs on your lawn and ring the cow bell. They'll gnaw your grass down to the roots trying to get those oreo bits.

Hey.. That's an idea! :idea: Then I could inject their ears with Fina implants and I'll be all set.. :FRlol:
 
LMAO!! Too fuckin' funny.....

First of all, I can't laugh too hard. My mom used to summon my sister and me with a cowbell. What can I tell ya. I was a fat kid.

And now you're making me feel bad. I just bought a house with a small lawn, maybe big enough for a volleyball court. So I hit the garage sales for stuff. Found a great mower, 6 months old, barely used, Sears Craftsman, owner paid $250 for it. Gave him $50 and took it home. Bad thing is, it's self-propelled. Now I feel like kind of a puss. :bawling:
 
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