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Peyote Killa
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My co workers and myself have discussed the following many, many times, see, we basically get paid for nothing, whats crazy is that its good pay, even part timers get $18 an hour. And you know we make up "plenty" of unworked hours, we usually get our crap done within the first 30 minutes(if that) at work then just talk, talk and talk about whatever, well the topic of fake and dipshit like behavior of others always seems to pop up, like MTV and its entirety for example.
Who am I kidding, I've watched MTV, hell who hasn't. However, I watched MTV back in the days, when they PLAYED music videos. Hell it was great, they had hysterical commercials, played music 16 hours of the day, and their other programming wasn't that bad. Fast Forward to today. Now, MTV is anything but music. I wonder to myself where the hell these cum-in-the mouth producers get off actually hosting "MTV Music Awards" on that channel. They should probably from now on make it the "VH1 Music Awards" or "MTV Angsty Awards". I have deduced from the programming, that the head honcho at MTV must be at least two of the following:
A) Ten years old.
B) A virgin.
C) Recovering from a gun shot wound to the head.
D) Addicted to Crank.
E) Born without frontal lobes.
F) Likes having sex with the elderly.
Pick two, chances are your right about the executive producer of MTV. For if you want music on that channel you must be awake at 2-2:20am to see it. Everything else on that channel is Real World 1-90, a stupid fucking show where they shove immature "young adults" together, make sure everyone is completely incompatible, and watch them bitch at each other about the STUPIDEST FUCKING THINGS.
Their show highlights include, gathering all the teens into the living room, for talking sessions while the camera zooms in on the faces of everyone who isn't talking. And conversations in the kitchen between two/four scantily clad individuals in the morning as they discuss how "hard" their lives are. Yes, the horrors of living in a pre-paid by MTV apartment, with spending money, and your face on TV. Everytime that I have accidentally tuned into that show, I have an overwhelming urge to send the producers an e-mail with some suggestions to make Real World and all its iterations, "cooler and hipper". One would be to tar and feather the teens as they hit the kitchen to whine, throwing a live grenade into the living room halfway into their reflection therapy sessions, and fill every square inch of their apartments with glass and razor blades.
If it's not Gay World, its some other "Reality" based bullshit, which after watching for 1 hour, the only true reality is that you must stab yourself in the eyes. Reality based programming takes up 12 hours of the MTV day. They also throw TRL at you, HOLY MOTHER OF SHIT. That has to be the worst fucking show of the decade. They want to show you the 10 most requested videos of the day, which always ends up being teeny bands BECAUSE THATS WHAT MOBS THE MTV building. Carson Daly has to be the lamest fucking popsicle on the planet. He isn't funny. He isn't awake. He doesn't think. He has no penis. He isn't even alive. He just sits there and asks people stupid questions, his face never changes, like a monotonous THING, he just pushes the show along its 60 minute course until its over.
Listen, if Carson Daly can be a VJ, so can my grandmother, its her dream, and at least she can give the show's guests cookies and some anecdotes on life from the 1920's. MTV responded to my grandmother's request with, "You cannot possibly give head like Carson, if you can, meet us in the backlot."
Not to mention in TRL they can't even SHOW you the music videos, further negating the blatantly misnomered channel MTV. No, they show you pieces of the videos with insane 11 year old girls yelling out how they want to shove the band up their ass. The clincher, is when they get some blonde sun-baked BOY REJECT, to SAY shit like "NSYNC IS THE GREATEST BAND EVER I WANT TO POP TO THEIR STUFF" from cue cards, priceless.
In conclusion, all the current MTV Vj's (god i hate that fucking title.. VJ, oh look at me I am a VIDEO JAY, I JAY VIDEOS FOR A CHANNEL THAT DOESN'T PLAY VIDEOS), should be hog-tied and thrown into Alabama trailer parks naked. For them it will be like "heading back to their roots" kinda thing. The producers of the show should be publicly painted with pink enamel, and shoved on a billboard advertising Valtrex, the herpes medication. As for all the twelve year old morons surrounding the building, nothing warm piss and some mace can't handle...
Who am I kidding, I've watched MTV, hell who hasn't. However, I watched MTV back in the days, when they PLAYED music videos. Hell it was great, they had hysterical commercials, played music 16 hours of the day, and their other programming wasn't that bad. Fast Forward to today. Now, MTV is anything but music. I wonder to myself where the hell these cum-in-the mouth producers get off actually hosting "MTV Music Awards" on that channel. They should probably from now on make it the "VH1 Music Awards" or "MTV Angsty Awards". I have deduced from the programming, that the head honcho at MTV must be at least two of the following:
A) Ten years old.
B) A virgin.
C) Recovering from a gun shot wound to the head.
D) Addicted to Crank.
E) Born without frontal lobes.
F) Likes having sex with the elderly.
Pick two, chances are your right about the executive producer of MTV. For if you want music on that channel you must be awake at 2-2:20am to see it. Everything else on that channel is Real World 1-90, a stupid fucking show where they shove immature "young adults" together, make sure everyone is completely incompatible, and watch them bitch at each other about the STUPIDEST FUCKING THINGS.
Their show highlights include, gathering all the teens into the living room, for talking sessions while the camera zooms in on the faces of everyone who isn't talking. And conversations in the kitchen between two/four scantily clad individuals in the morning as they discuss how "hard" their lives are. Yes, the horrors of living in a pre-paid by MTV apartment, with spending money, and your face on TV. Everytime that I have accidentally tuned into that show, I have an overwhelming urge to send the producers an e-mail with some suggestions to make Real World and all its iterations, "cooler and hipper". One would be to tar and feather the teens as they hit the kitchen to whine, throwing a live grenade into the living room halfway into their reflection therapy sessions, and fill every square inch of their apartments with glass and razor blades.
If it's not Gay World, its some other "Reality" based bullshit, which after watching for 1 hour, the only true reality is that you must stab yourself in the eyes. Reality based programming takes up 12 hours of the MTV day. They also throw TRL at you, HOLY MOTHER OF SHIT. That has to be the worst fucking show of the decade. They want to show you the 10 most requested videos of the day, which always ends up being teeny bands BECAUSE THATS WHAT MOBS THE MTV building. Carson Daly has to be the lamest fucking popsicle on the planet. He isn't funny. He isn't awake. He doesn't think. He has no penis. He isn't even alive. He just sits there and asks people stupid questions, his face never changes, like a monotonous THING, he just pushes the show along its 60 minute course until its over.
Listen, if Carson Daly can be a VJ, so can my grandmother, its her dream, and at least she can give the show's guests cookies and some anecdotes on life from the 1920's. MTV responded to my grandmother's request with, "You cannot possibly give head like Carson, if you can, meet us in the backlot."
Not to mention in TRL they can't even SHOW you the music videos, further negating the blatantly misnomered channel MTV. No, they show you pieces of the videos with insane 11 year old girls yelling out how they want to shove the band up their ass. The clincher, is when they get some blonde sun-baked BOY REJECT, to SAY shit like "NSYNC IS THE GREATEST BAND EVER I WANT TO POP TO THEIR STUFF" from cue cards, priceless.
In conclusion, all the current MTV Vj's (god i hate that fucking title.. VJ, oh look at me I am a VIDEO JAY, I JAY VIDEOS FOR A CHANNEL THAT DOESN'T PLAY VIDEOS), should be hog-tied and thrown into Alabama trailer parks naked. For them it will be like "heading back to their roots" kinda thing. The producers of the show should be publicly painted with pink enamel, and shoved on a billboard advertising Valtrex, the herpes medication. As for all the twelve year old morons surrounding the building, nothing warm piss and some mace can't handle...
