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Men a quick question .........

Gymgurl

Gymgurl

Plat Hero
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Men a quick question for you....why when you say you want to be friends can you have a ton of sex with this person and say all this lovey things and say your madly in love ...but once the relationship trys to be a serious one (no different from what it was really except for a "name") you guys are done? I never will understand that one.......why does friends with benifits work better when your in love then a real relationship? :worried:
 
because it is different. besides, if you're telling someone you're in love with them, or even seeing them more than 2X a week it has passed the friends with benifits stage. Sounds like you're describing a situation where someone is trying to have a hold on someone while they're waiting for something better to come along.
 
some guys are afraid of the big "C". commitment. I guess they just want as much different ass as they can get, see which one's the best :rolleyes:
 
Because with a title/relationship there is a required level of commitment, respect and responsibility. I am very faithful in relationships so this is a big step for me. If I'm not 100% confident I want to be with you, I won't jump in. If we're friends and fucking, I can still go about my daily life without worrying about what I'm doing and whether or not you're going to get upset over it...because at the end of the day I'm still single and able to do what I want.
 
Some guys have a fear of commitment in "name" only. They may be in a committed relationship but as soon as a label is put on there they feel like they lost their freedom!
My turn. How come women withhold sex? We don't ever do that! Isn't the threat of that more than enough...
 
I'm not afraid of commitment. I'm looking forward to it actually.
 
In my opinon when a man says he wants to be friends with "extras", it usually means he wants multiple "friends" and is playing the field / not serious about commiting to any one girl - just having a good time (nothing wrong with that as long as both parties know the deal and are happy with it).

If he starts saying things like he's in love with any of these women (with no intention of commiting) then he's an asshole and has probably confused love with lust.
 
I have experienced the can't committ..love/lust thing is the past (long ago) I don't like the friends with benifits thing either....It is hard for women ( now remebe this one guys) but not all women to seperate sex and love.....once the sex thing comes in it is over for them.....I know and most of you bolt at that time lol!
 
Gymgurl said:
I have experienced the can't committ..love/lust thing is the past (long ago) I don't like the friends with benifits thing either....It is hard for women ( now remebe this one guys) but not all women to seperate sex and love.....once the sex thing comes in it is over for them.....I know and most of you bolt at that time lol!
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You said it very well. ~~~ I think women are able to separate love and sex in their thirties a lot better. ;)
 
Gymgurl said:
(now remebe this one guys) but not all women to seperate sex and love.....once the sex thing comes in it is over for them.....
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So a woman allows a man to have sex with her, she then assumes that man loves her - why is this? (I'm just prompting debate)

Men and women's brains wired-up differently?
 
Not all do..my questions was more in theory I guess.....but I have had one tell me how he loved me and then pull away all the time....but I think women equate sex with love
 
Many do, but i've also found that if you're honest with them from jump, they're usually cool with the friends with benifits relationship. If you start playing games, getting jealous or throwing around the "L" word it's a different story
 
Its not about just commitment, or a name. More is commited when you sign the paper and put a ring on a finger. A man is then suddenly by law pretty much responsible for the womans livelyhood beond marriage. That means a chick can turn into a dirtly, lying, back stabbing, stealing, bitch, and when a man tries to get rid of her, its a lottery when it comes to him getting off without crippling vaginamony, i mean alimony. Its worse if the poor guy got her pregnant also.

Oh, and you chicks change too. don't give me any crap lie that you don't. You might not realize it as what you girls do is perfectly natural really, but it happens. A wise man knows that a married woman is different than a girlfriend in many ways that are not pleasurable for him.
 
ive been in this situation for about 3 years now....there is no such thing as friends with benefits...it maybe for a short period of time, but in my experience the women become attached. period. even the women in their late 30's -40's, they can go with it for a bit, but they eventually want more...which really has been a compliment to me...so im not bashing here at all...just saying, fuck-buddies dont last....i ask/ tell up front before i get into anything if this is the case...they are usually cool with it and understand if they want sex...if they are "looking" down the road they'll say so...
 
mordy said:
Its not about just commitment, or a name. More is commited when you sign the paper and put a ring on a finger. A man is then suddenly by law pretty much responsible for the womans livelyhood beond marriage. That means a chick can turn into a dirtly, lying, back stabbing, stealing, bitch, and when a man tries to get rid of her, its a lottery when it comes to him getting off without crippling vaginamony, i mean alimony. Its worse if the poor guy got her pregnant also.

Oh, and you chicks change too. don't give me any crap lie that you don't. You might not realize it as what you girls do is perfectly natural really, but it happens. A wise man knows that a married woman is different than a girlfriend in many ways that are not pleasurable for him.
Click to expand...


Explain the last statement about a married women..I'm not sure if I am taking this right.... :coffee:
 
PBR said:
ive been in this situation for about 3 years now....there is no such thing as friends with benefits...it maybe for a short period of time, but in my experience the women become attached. period. even the women in their late 30's -40's, they can go with it for a bit, but they eventually want more...which really has been a compliment to me...so im not bashing here at all...just saying, fuck-buddies dont last....i ask/ tell up front before i get into anything if this is the case...they are usually cool with it and understand if they want sex...if they are "looking" down the road they'll say so...
Click to expand...

Well i'm 32 & have had one since High School. We stopped for a while when she was married (now divorced), and it usually only happens every other month at most, but that is what it is. She knows me well & knows how I am. Hell, we go out and she even hooks me up with others. We make it a point never to plan any encounters, but we have a rule that when one of us wants it the other has to oblidge. Rare yes, but it can happen.
 
You just have to be able to block yourself off mentaly and detatch.....I would prefer mine married I think
 
Gymgurl said:
Men a quick question for you....why when you say you want to be friends can you have a ton of sex with this person and say all this lovey things and say your madly in love ...but once the relationship trys to be a serious one (no different from what it was really except for a "name") you guys are done? I never will understand that one.......why does friends with benifits work better when your in love then a real relationship? :worried:
Click to expand...

Because men are inherently scared of commitment and also because women's attitude changes once it's officially a "relationship" rather than strictly fuckfriends.

Women change their thought process on things, they place so much emphasis on a label for the relationship......rather than what the actual foundation is built on. They see it as a status thing.......relationship, then possibly marriage.....these are intermediate steps to the final goal.

If it was all fun 'n' games, nobody would be married and everyone would be fuckfriends.



DIV
 
DIVISION said:
If it was all fun 'n' games, nobody would be married and everyone would be fuckfriends.


DIV
Click to expand...

you say that as if there was something inherently wrong with that..... :worried:
 
LOL..

I always LOVED this questiona dn here is your answer.

Because American men have learned that we cant trust women emotionally OR sexually and as soon as we committ.. they stop working for it and lose interest. For most women.. they second that get you.. its no longer a challenge and they get lazy in the bedroon..

But as long as your just friends.. she'll keep going down on that cock like a starvign ethiopian on a sandwhich platter.


Women broguht this shit on themseleves and now that they are having to pay the price .. they dont like it.
 
Milo Hobgoblin said:
LOL..

I always LOVED this questiona dn here is your answer.

Because American men have learned that we cant trust women emotionally OR sexually and as soon as we committ.. they stop working for it and lose interest. For most women.. they second that get you.. its no longer a challenge and they get lazy in the bedroon..

But as long as your just friends.. she'll keep going down on that cock like a starvign ethiopian on a sandwhich platter.


Women broguht this shit on themseleves and now that they are having to pay the price .. they dont like it.
Click to expand...

Exceptions to every rule.

I was faithfully with my exhusband for 13 years. With the exception of when I was pregnant - he NEVER had to ask for sex.... EVER. I always made sure that I was pretty for him, asked him how his day was and listened when he replied.

I wanted mad crazy at least 6 days a week - till the night he beat me to the ground. Then it was GAME OVER.
 
artrius said:
you say that as if there was something inherently wrong with that..... :worried:
Click to expand...

Sip Bacardi, Crush Guts......but never Stayyyyyyyyyyy!
Smoke blunts......but leave them stunts up to Superdavvvvvvvvvvvvve!

:magilicut




DIV
 
why does friends with benifits work better when your in love then a real relationship?
Click to expand...

I think because it is care free compared to all the bullshit of a maintaing a relationship, marriage, finances, getting a head, stress, and then the eventual hatered you feel for one another.

Oops...sorry to rant.
 
Gymgurl said:
Men a quick question for you....why when you say you want to be friends can you have a ton of sex with this person and say all this lovey things and say your madly in love ...but once the relationship trys to be a serious one (no different from what it was really except for a "name") you guys are done? I never will understand that one.......why does friends with benifits work better when your in love then a real relationship? :worried:
Click to expand...


There must be boundaries established. If the grounds were simply to be fuck buddies, then trying to turn it into a real relationship isn't fair to the other half's emotions. In this case, you can't have your cake and eat it too.

There must be a relationship mindset from the start in order to end with one when sex is at the forefront.

Very rarely if ever does each side feel the same way in these situations.
 
Gymgurl said:
Men a quick question for you....why when you say you want to be friends can you have a ton of sex with this person and say all this lovey things and say your madly in love ...but once the relationship trys to be a serious one (no different from what it was really except for a "name") you guys are done? I never will understand that one.......why does friends with benifits work better when your in love then a real relationship? :worried:
Click to expand...


Because men are animals of multiple sexual partners. We can't stay with only one forever. It's against our insticts of reproduction and conservation of species.
 
DJ_UFO said:
Because men are animals of multiple sexual partners. We can't stay with only one forever. It's against our NOBLE AND HONOURABLE insticts of reproduction and conservation of species.
Click to expand...

WORD.
 
hanselthecaretaker said:
Very rarely if ever does each side feel the same way in these situations.
Click to expand...

I concur.

There is always one side that wants more than the other side is comfortable giving.



DIV
 
DIVISION said:
I concur.

There is always one side that wants more than the other side is comfortable giving.



DIV
Click to expand...



I would be willing to get the 90% of time it is the female
 
Gymgurl said:
I would be willing to get the 90% of time it is the female
Click to expand...

Usually it's the female, but that's a female's nature......they are always wanting something permanent.




DIV
 
artrius said:
some guys are afraid of the big "C". commitment. I guess they just want as much different ass as they can get, see which one's the best :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

BAHAHAH, the big C as in she turns into a real C**T after you get married?
 
chyllaxyn said:
BAHAHAH, the big C as in she turns into a real C**T after you get married?
Click to expand...

Not all women slack off when they get married.....surely you'd be able to see these things before you make that commitment.




DIV
 
Gymgurl said:
Men a quick question for you....why when you say you want to be friends can you have a ton of sex with this person and say all this lovey things and say your madly in love ...but once the relationship trys to be a serious one (no different from what it was really except for a "name") you guys are done? I never will understand that one.......why does friends with benifits work better when your in love then a real relationship? :worried:
Click to expand...

Hmm simple,guys are going to say whatever they can to hit that @ss and once he does, the thrills over till the next time.If he doesnt want to get serious its because it was just a sex thing from the get go,or he didnt like the ride very well.(you dont buy a car with out a test drive) Cant put it much more straight up then that!
 
sigmund said:
So a woman allows a man to have sex with her, she then assumes that man loves her - why is this? (I'm just prompting debate)

Men and women's brains wired-up differently?
Click to expand...

Partly that & partly indoctrination I think.
 
Gymgurl said:
That is not true.....we don't assume they love us until they tell us!
Click to expand...
What I meant was, I think a lot of women, from the time they are little girls are taught to believe in the whole marriage white picket fence thing. & they are driven to achieve that. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but sometimes this drive blinds them to looking for the real thing & not just accepting.
 
Gymgurl said:
I agree and alot of the time we go into marriage not thinking we have to work at it
Click to expand...

That's true. A lot of young married couples I know aren't willing to put the work in. It's not just fixing smething after it's gone wrong. It's communicating & finding what your partner needs & what you need, before things got critical.
A lot of people change after marriage, but it's not just the marriage cert. that does it. It's the new responsibility, time, life experiences, work, children. Through all this you have to grow together as a couple, compromising & dealing all the way.
I've got to admit, my wife has done more than I have, but I do things that she values highly, so they almost balance out.
 
It is the whole instinctive primal urge to divine and conquer, a man will continue to do so until he can no longer; or until he is conquered.
 
Because as soon as I fall in love, I'm not a challenge any more, so you cheat on me until someone else steals your heart.
 
Gymgurl said:
I have experienced the can't committ..love/lust thing is the past (long ago) I don't like the friends with benifits thing either....It is hard for women ( now remebe this one guys) but not all women to seperate sex and love.....once the sex thing comes in it is over for them.....I know and most of you bolt at that time lol!
Click to expand...

its the opposite for me. i recently slept with a girl and i started liking her more. i thought she like me because we had phone sex afterwards a few times but i actually had feelings for the girl and i think that turned her off. i might be the first pathetic ass wad this has ever happened to.
 
markshark said:
its the opposite for me. i recently slept with a girl and i started liking her more. i thought she like me because we had phone sex afterwards a few times but i actually had feelings for the girl and i think that turned her off. i might be the first pathetic ass wad this has ever happened to.
Click to expand...
No, we have all been pathetic ass wads and gone through this at one time or another
 
Gymgurl said:
I have experienced the can't committ..love/lust thing is the past (long ago) I don't like the friends with benifits thing either....It is hard for women ( now remebe this one guys) but not all women to seperate sex and love.....once the sex thing comes in it is over for them.....I know and most of you bolt at that time lol!
Click to expand...
I think that it is nice to be able to see a woman when she is at her best. When you have a committment you have to accept all that comes along with it. . Basically friendships are easy, but relationships take work, and some situations are just not worth the effort
 
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