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> Thought you all would enjoy
>
> Dear Readers:
>
> When the sad -- but inevitable -- day comes that the Martha Stewart
> story is no longer in the headlines, I fear I will be reduced to
> watching her on tape.
>
> I am fortunate enough to have a video of Stewart on the CBS segment in
> which she maniacally demolishes a cabbage while sputtering through
> clinched teeth about the "ridiculousness" of the investigation against
> her. I will forever be in awe of intrepid reporter Jane Clayson, who
> stared into the abyss of danger and confronted the dagger-eyed,
> knife-wielding Stewart,demanding to know what Martha knew and when she
> knew it.
>
> And it was then that Martha uttered those soon-to-be immortal words:
> "RIGHT NOW, I WANT TO FOCUS ON MAKING A SALAD."
>
> It is a statement so replete in its celebration of the inane and
> superficial that it stands a genuine chance of knocking "No more wire
> hangars" off the perch of all-time classic camp lines.
>
> And it sums up why your gleeful Scooper just can't get enough of this
> scandal.
>
> We gossip columnists live for the moments when a celeb's real
> personality
> shows through the cracks in his or her façade. We hear reports from
> terrorized assistants, and from flummoxed producers and directs.
> Sometimes
> we gossip columnists get a glimpse of it backstage. But to see it on
> national television -- well, it's almost too much for your
> Schadenfreude-loving Scooper to stand.
>
> There are, of course, those inevitable Martha defenders, who are
> tisk-tisking the attention being paid to this brewing scandal. These
> mealy-mouth defenses usually run in supposedly high-minded publications.
> It's a way for pundits to declare that they're not interested in scandal
> --and then recount all the juicy details, even as they condemn the
> people who relish this sort of stuff. Typical was a recent opinion piece
> in the New York Times. "Perched at the hub of our crisscrossing notions
> about class, sex, consumerism and corporate influence, she is being
> attacked with some of the stalest of stereotypes," it read. "The
> reaction is so bitter that you can't help thinking Martha Stewart is in
> trouble less for her investments in ImClone than for our investments in
> her image -- and maybe her secret role in our own self-image."
>
> Oh, please.
>
> The delicious irony that this woman who made a billion dollars telling
> other people how to live a perfect life might end up being thrown in
> jail is lost on such people.
>
> We've all heard the Martha stories before.
>
> Most famously, there is of course, that delicious dispute with developer
> Harry Macklowe, her next door neighbor in East Hampton. The fight began
> when Macklowe planted "inappropriate dark greenery" on the boarder
> between his and Stewart's houses. Martha was outraged because she was
> trying to nurture a "pepperidge grove" at that spot, according to a
> complaint filed with East Hampton village officials. When a surveyor
> determined that the offending greenery was in fact on Stewart's
> property, she ripped them up. When Macklowe built an 8-foot fence to
> block his view of his Martha's place, his landscaper says that Stewart
> hopped into her Jeep and mowed into him, penned him against a fence and
> spewed epithets at him. Police refused to prosecute the case, but it
> didn't stop there. Stewart filed a lawsuit, charging that Macklowe & Co.
> had made up the entire story and that their accusations damaged Martha's
> "international reputation for graciousness, rectitude, honesty and
> thriftiness.!
>
> " The case was thrown out.
>
> Then there's the run in Martha had with her neighbors in Westport, Conn.
> After townspeople complained that camera crews taping Martha's shows had
> trampled their lawns, blocked their driveways and endangered their
> children, she wrote a piece in the New York Times blasting them as cold,
> unfriendly and "extremely critical."
>
> Afterward, Martha complained to a group in Westport about how the Times
> had misrepresented what she'd said -- how they'd edited in the snarky
> comments. "That's funny," a top editor told me. "She signed off on
> everything we ran."
>
> Martha has also been accused of ripping off recipes and other ideas, of
> not paying her gardener tens of thousands of dollars. At her home in
> Seal
> Harbor, Maine, she reportedly accosted and berated a limo driver who
> accidentally drove into her driveway.
>
> "Men in Black" director Barry Sonnenfeld was so fascinated by Martha
> that
> he wanted to do a remake of the 1951 Bette Davis flick "Another Man's
> Poison," about a woman who kills her estranged husband, and he wanted to
> base the character on Martha Stewart. After warnings from Stewart's
> lawyers, Sonnenfeld has apparently backed off.
>
> Which is not to say that Martha doesn't have her down-to-earth side.
> Friends say she can be warm, kind and gracious. In fact, one day, Martha
> went to Barbra Streisand's house in East Hampton for lunch, and,
> according to one guest, Barbra prepared her favorite dessert: angel food
> cake with Cool Whip. Martha bravely not only ate the concoction, she
> mustered a compliment. "I've never had Cool Whip before," she told Babs,
> according to the guest. "It's not bad."
>
> Oh, it's all just too delicious. It makes me want to go make a salad.
> Because I am, as always,
>
> Your Humble Scooper,
> Jeannette Walls
>
>
> Dear Readers:
>
> When the sad -- but inevitable -- day comes that the Martha Stewart
> story is no longer in the headlines, I fear I will be reduced to
> watching her on tape.
>
> I am fortunate enough to have a video of Stewart on the CBS segment in
> which she maniacally demolishes a cabbage while sputtering through
> clinched teeth about the "ridiculousness" of the investigation against
> her. I will forever be in awe of intrepid reporter Jane Clayson, who
> stared into the abyss of danger and confronted the dagger-eyed,
> knife-wielding Stewart,demanding to know what Martha knew and when she
> knew it.
>
> And it was then that Martha uttered those soon-to-be immortal words:
> "RIGHT NOW, I WANT TO FOCUS ON MAKING A SALAD."
>
> It is a statement so replete in its celebration of the inane and
> superficial that it stands a genuine chance of knocking "No more wire
> hangars" off the perch of all-time classic camp lines.
>
> And it sums up why your gleeful Scooper just can't get enough of this
> scandal.
>
> We gossip columnists live for the moments when a celeb's real
> personality
> shows through the cracks in his or her façade. We hear reports from
> terrorized assistants, and from flummoxed producers and directs.
> Sometimes
> we gossip columnists get a glimpse of it backstage. But to see it on
> national television -- well, it's almost too much for your
> Schadenfreude-loving Scooper to stand.
>
> There are, of course, those inevitable Martha defenders, who are
> tisk-tisking the attention being paid to this brewing scandal. These
> mealy-mouth defenses usually run in supposedly high-minded publications.
> It's a way for pundits to declare that they're not interested in scandal
> --and then recount all the juicy details, even as they condemn the
> people who relish this sort of stuff. Typical was a recent opinion piece
> in the New York Times. "Perched at the hub of our crisscrossing notions
> about class, sex, consumerism and corporate influence, she is being
> attacked with some of the stalest of stereotypes," it read. "The
> reaction is so bitter that you can't help thinking Martha Stewart is in
> trouble less for her investments in ImClone than for our investments in
> her image -- and maybe her secret role in our own self-image."
>
> Oh, please.
>
> The delicious irony that this woman who made a billion dollars telling
> other people how to live a perfect life might end up being thrown in
> jail is lost on such people.
>
> We've all heard the Martha stories before.
>
> Most famously, there is of course, that delicious dispute with developer
> Harry Macklowe, her next door neighbor in East Hampton. The fight began
> when Macklowe planted "inappropriate dark greenery" on the boarder
> between his and Stewart's houses. Martha was outraged because she was
> trying to nurture a "pepperidge grove" at that spot, according to a
> complaint filed with East Hampton village officials. When a surveyor
> determined that the offending greenery was in fact on Stewart's
> property, she ripped them up. When Macklowe built an 8-foot fence to
> block his view of his Martha's place, his landscaper says that Stewart
> hopped into her Jeep and mowed into him, penned him against a fence and
> spewed epithets at him. Police refused to prosecute the case, but it
> didn't stop there. Stewart filed a lawsuit, charging that Macklowe & Co.
> had made up the entire story and that their accusations damaged Martha's
> "international reputation for graciousness, rectitude, honesty and
> thriftiness.!
>
> " The case was thrown out.
>
> Then there's the run in Martha had with her neighbors in Westport, Conn.
> After townspeople complained that camera crews taping Martha's shows had
> trampled their lawns, blocked their driveways and endangered their
> children, she wrote a piece in the New York Times blasting them as cold,
> unfriendly and "extremely critical."
>
> Afterward, Martha complained to a group in Westport about how the Times
> had misrepresented what she'd said -- how they'd edited in the snarky
> comments. "That's funny," a top editor told me. "She signed off on
> everything we ran."
>
> Martha has also been accused of ripping off recipes and other ideas, of
> not paying her gardener tens of thousands of dollars. At her home in
> Seal
> Harbor, Maine, she reportedly accosted and berated a limo driver who
> accidentally drove into her driveway.
>
> "Men in Black" director Barry Sonnenfeld was so fascinated by Martha
> that
> he wanted to do a remake of the 1951 Bette Davis flick "Another Man's
> Poison," about a woman who kills her estranged husband, and he wanted to
> base the character on Martha Stewart. After warnings from Stewart's
> lawyers, Sonnenfeld has apparently backed off.
>
> Which is not to say that Martha doesn't have her down-to-earth side.
> Friends say she can be warm, kind and gracious. In fact, one day, Martha
> went to Barbra Streisand's house in East Hampton for lunch, and,
> according to one guest, Barbra prepared her favorite dessert: angel food
> cake with Cool Whip. Martha bravely not only ate the concoction, she
> mustered a compliment. "I've never had Cool Whip before," she told Babs,
> according to the guest. "It's not bad."
>
> Oh, it's all just too delicious. It makes me want to go make a salad.
> Because I am, as always,
>
> Your Humble Scooper,
> Jeannette Walls
>
