Married people and those in serious relationships

[Lumberg]

man everybody I talk to thats married always has some hangups. I am one of the few remaining single guys out of my friends and I am fighting the good fight to avoid the engagement but gf is putting the heat on.

Everybody I work with (the guys) has marital problems, is in counseling or is divorced. I enjoy my gf but I do not want to go thru any of that shit down the road. So she'll just have to wait until I'm good and ready I guess.

How long did you date your wife before getting hitched? IN retrospect.....were there any signs that you should've seen regarding her attitude?

The classic thing for the woman to do here is just up and leave one day. THen you'll get scared and realize you could lose her than you will marry her.

 

[flexygrl]

Lumburg,

You will find the right person. And if you find that you have already found her, it WILL all work out. You both need to spread your wings and experience this wonderful world we live in. You know the old saying about setting a bird free, well it's true. If they come back, then they are yours. If they don't, then it was never meant to be.

I remember some pretty bad fights that my husband and I had when we were dating. Once, I actually broke it off. And guess what...he came back.

 

[Lumberg]

Lumburg,

You will find the right person. And if you find that you have already found her, it WILL all work out. You both need to spread your wings and experience this wonderful world we live in. You know the old saying about setting a bird free, well it's true. If they come back, then they are yours. If they don't, then it was never meant to be.

I remember some pretty bad fights that my husband and I had when we were dating. Once, I actually broke it off. And guess what...he came back.

Thanks.....watching that show anythign for love made me think of that stuff too.

I mean, we spent so much time together, it's almost like it's not worth going for another chick if I know I could be happy with her.

Also I need to get to know her as a person, not a sex object. I want to be friends but she still has a problem with how badly I've hurt her.

For her it's either all or nothing but I want to know her as a person. I think there's a possibility we could becoem best friends, which is really great even if we don't end up hitched.

Anyways.....

 

[HUCKLEBERRY FINNaplex]

Huck this is interesting. So how are handling being in marriage it seems like you no longer want to be in?? Do you foresee divorce/separation down the road? You know your wife won't change (and thus, things won't get better), so are you just gonna accept that?

For now.If their weren't kids involved I would have been out the door long ago.When the last of them has grown and left,so shall I.Don't get me wrong,I DO love my wife.She is the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on.She DOES possess some admirable qualities,and will probably make someone happy one day,I just wasn't elected to be that person,lol.I see that she behaves differently around other people than she does with me.She can let her guard down and let loose with anyone BUT me.It's a game that has gotten so old,I will one day be happy to be free of it,and find someone who WANTS to be close to me.I battled her for many years over this,and I finally just gave up and said that when the time comes,I will move on.

 

[Lumberg]

For now.If their weren't kids involved I would have been out the door long ago.When the last of them has grown and left,so shall I.Don't get me wrong,I DO love my wife.She is the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on.She DOES possess some admirable qualities,and will probably make someone happy one day,I just wasn't elected to be that person,lol.I see that she behaves differently around other people than she does with me.She can let her guard down and let loose with anyone BUT me.It's a game that has gotten so old,I will one day be happy to be free of it,and find someone who WANTS to be close to me.I battled her for many years over this,and I finally just gave up and said that when the time comes,I will move on.

Wow huck I had no idea. You sound like you have a really good attitude though.

I wonder if she were posting on the chat section of a message board about one of her hobbies, what would she be saying about you?

You sound a lot like my mom concerning my dad (he's dead now) but she always used to be philosophical about him, say what good qualities he had but he just never grew up.

 

[HUCKLEBERRY FINNaplex]

Trust me,it's a battle I've waged inside for quite sometime.I have left in the past,but she sweet talked me back with bullshit.Usually after a few weeks things return to the same old,same old.This cycle repeated itself for quite a while until I started seeing my kids effected by it,then I looked outside of my wife and I's crap,and decided that all of that would take second precedense to my kids stability.They mean more to me than life itself,so I have put them in front of my own needs until they are grown and have left the nest.Once they are adults and have their own lives,I will seek the things that bring me happiness elsewhere.I know there is someone out there who will care much more about me and treat me much better.

 

[Lumberg]

Trust me,it's a battle I've waged inside for quite sometime.I have left in the past,but she sweet talked me back with bullshit.Usually after a few weeks things return to the same old,same old.This cycle repeated itself for quite a while until I started seeing my kids effected by it,then I looked outside of my wife and I's crap,and decided that all of that would take second precedense to my kids stability.They mean more to me than life itself,so I have put them in front of my own needs until they are grown and have left the nest.Once they are adults and have their own lives,I will seek the things that bring me happiness elsewhere.I know there is someone out there who will care much more about me and treat me much better.

You got the right 'tude dude.

Solid bro.