Marriage

[Scotsman]

I keep seeing people talking about this and it amuses me all the misconceptions about it.

Marriage is a legal contract between two people (man and woman) binding them in life by property and status.

Marriage actually has nothing to do with faith, religion, trust, love, understanding, respect, etc....

You can have all of those things without being married and have a wonderful life. Now you can't make a marriage work without them but they do not have any bearing on what marriage is. Too many of you substitute the word marriage for serious relationship. All a marriage does is provide for lifestyle continuance after the demise of the legal union. That is why you have to be liscenced by the state to perform marriages. This is also why you don't have to be a priest, minister, rabbi, shaman, etc... to perform them, you only have to be a legal representative of the state you are presiding over the marriage in.

Just voicing something that's been bugging me for a while.

Cheers,
Scotsman

 

[SoreArms]

I think it's an antiquated custom that has outlived it's usefulness.

 

[EnderJE]

Marriage is a "lifestyle" choice.

 

[blut wump]

Tell me about it. I had to fly over to the States to get married so that I could bring my about-to-be-wife back to England as a spouse. After getting up at the crack of dawn we had to scour the land to find a judge and apparently most of them don't work on Thursdays. We finally found one in the next county who could fit us in between cases but we had to get ourselves to the jail on time.

The amusing part was when he asked whether we cared to exchange rites. We both heard it as 'rights' and said "he/she doesn't get any rights". Shortly after a chuckle he declared us wed.

Not a lot to do with any religion or faith in there and we already knew we were stuck with each other until one of us dies.

 

[velvett]

You've also pointed out why most people that marry get divorced.

 

[nycgirl]

I agree with you 100%. My grandparents were common law for 40 years. Then they had a "ceremony" for legal purposes when the got older (around 1980).

I never thought you needed the whole B.S. (from the dress to the license) to have a partner you will spend the rest of your life with.

 

[75th]

Marriage, like the idea that having more than one partner is taboo, is simply a societal requirement, and actually goes against man's natural instinct.

I dont mind it, though. I love my wife, and the only reason why I let her spend so much god damn money on our wedding was because I knew it would make her happy.

Stupid women.

Sometimes I wish I found a woman more like myself...except with less penis.

 

[Scotsman]

You've also pointed out why most people that marry get divorced.

Yep getting married is the easy part, living with the person takes work.

NYC- yeah I hate the whole legal sphere, but you have to pay to play as it were so getting married makes sense in that case, even though nothing changed in their lives I'm sure after 40yrs.

I never understood big weddings, you aren't anymore married with 10,000 people there than 10.

Cheers,
Scotsman

 

[b fold the truth]

My wife and I had a Civil Marriage in May of this year....after living together for nearly a year and managing out own finances. Our Greek Church Wedding is next October (if anyone wants to come).

A Greek woman TOLD to us the other day "So...you are LIVING IN SIN!!!" My wife aske why...she didn't understand what she meant. The lady says "because you were not married by a Priest in a Church...then you are living in SIN!!!"

I calmly asked her who married Adam and Eve.

That was the last that she said about that.

B True

 

[foreigngirl]

I agree with you 100%. My grandparents were common law for 40 years. Then they had a "ceremony" for legal purposes when the got older (around 1980).

I never thought you needed the whole B.S. (from the dress to the license) to have a partner you will spend the rest of your life with.

agreed. IMO, that piece of paper puts more pressure than anything else. IF those people just "live together" without that paper, I think that they would work out way better.
But, on a side note - I like the fact that I am married. It just makes me feel better. Its all individual

 

[Scotsman]

My wife and I had a Civil Marriage in May of this year....after living together for nearly a year and managing out own finances. Our Greek Church Wedding is next October (if anyone wants to come).

A Greek woman TOLD to us the other day "So...you are LIVING IN SIN!!!" My wife aske why...she didn't understand what she meant. The lady says "because you were not married by a Priest in a Church...then you are living in SIN!!!"

I calmly asked her who married Adam and Eve.

That was the last that she said about that.

B True

Exactly, you two don't treat each other different now do you? and will you after a big wedding? hopefully not, and I know that you two married out of love and friendship so I already know the answers. I still chuckle about you having your ceremony in english.

Great response to that lady.

Cheers,
Scotsman

 

[b fold the truth]

Exactly, you two don't treat each other different now do you? and will you after a big wedding? hopefully not, and I know that you two married out of love and friendship so I already know the answers. I still chuckle about you having your ceremony in english.

Great response to that lady.

Cheers,
Scotsman

It felt no different after the first wedding..won't after the 2nd one either. A good friend of mine from England got married to his Greek Cypriot wife here this year and he had to do the following:
Confess in a Greek Church
Take a Greek name
Take his wife's last name
Get Baptised into the Greek Orthodox wedding

His wife asked me where we planned to get married (you get assigned a Church by the Govt here based on where you live) and I told her that I'd be married in whichever Church didn't require me to denounce my religion in any way or change my name.

B True

 

[blut wump]

Over here we call it "living over the brush". I can't, for the life of me, remember where the expression comes from.

A quick Google:
The phrase, "living over the brush", used to describe an unmarried couple who live together, originated in the tunnel building days of the 19th Century. If a boy and a girl (usually camp followers from the towns, prostitutes in reality) took a liking to each other then the other men and women would respect them as man and wife. They could not afford a church wedding so, holding hands, they jumped over a brush or broom handle held by two older people. They were then "married" in the eyes of their peers.

 

[SoreArms]

I never thought you needed the whole B.S. (from the dress to the license) to have a partner you will spend the rest of your life with.

that is exactly my view on it (seriously)

we were made for each other

 

[blut wump]

It felt no different after the first wedding..won't after the 2nd one either. A good friend of mine from England got married to his Greek Cypriot wife here this year and he had to do the following:
Confess in a Greek Church
Take a Greek name
Take his wife's last name
Get Baptised into the Greek Orthodox wedding

His wife asked me where we planned to get married (you get assigned a Church by the Govt here based on where you live) and I told her that I'd be married in whichever Church didn't require me to denounce my religion in any way or change my name.

B True

LOL The only response.

My wife kept her name after we married and I think my family never quite came to terms with it. It's common in Spanish cultures for the woman to keep her surname.

 

[nycgirl]

NYC- yeah I hate the whole legal sphere, but you have to pay to play as it were so getting married makes sense in that case, even though nothing changed in their lives I'm sure after 40yrs.

I never understood big weddings, you aren't anymore married with 10,000 people there than 10.

Cheers,
Scotsman

I never understood it either.

I told my mother in my teens, that don't even think about planning, dreaming and/or having a big lavish wedding for me. I understand getting married for legal purposes. However, I'm going to justice of the peace. Don't be surprised if dinner is at Joe's Rib Shack and my honeymoon is at some villa on Lake George (I love it there). The money my husband and I will save will go towards a very nice home that we will enjoy christening with our love.

She was pissed.

 

[Scotsman]

It felt no different after the first wedding..won't after the 2nd one either. A good friend of mine from England got married to his Greek Cypriot wife here this year and he had to do the following:
Confess in a Greek Church
Take a Greek name
Take his wife's last name
Get Baptised into the Greek Orthodox wedding

His wife asked me where we planned to get married (you get assigned a Church by the Govt here based on where you live) and I told her that I'd be married in whichever Church didn't require me to denounce my religion in any way or change my name.

B True

WOW that's a bit over the top. Sounds like you may have an interesting time finding a church like that.

Cheers,
Scotsman

 

[b fold the truth]

LOL The only response.

My wife kept her name after we married and I think my family never quite came to terms with it. It's common in Spanish cultures for the woman to keep her surname.

My wife works for the government here and her name is now Charalambous-Darden.

I sure hope that she never plays a team sport again where they have to put the last name across the back... Can you imagine the jersey for someone who can easily wear a Youth Medium????

B True

 

[Scotsman]

I never understood it either.

I told my mother in my teens, that don't even think about planning, dreaming and/or having a big lavish wedding for me. I understand getting married for legal purposes. However, I'm going to justice of the peace. Don't be surprised if dinner is at Joe's Rib Shack and my honeymoon is at some villa on Lake George (I love it there). The money my husband and I will save will go towards a very nice home that we will enjoy christening with our love.

She was pissed.

Justice of the peace and a rib shack, that's about the only way I'll ever get married.

I always tell people I know to save the money they'd spend on a big wedding and use it for their lives since most of them aren't very well off. The guys understand but most girls look at me like I am the devil or something.LOL

Although I told my friends who's weddings I have had to be in that if I get married we will be wearing kilts, in the mountains, outside in january. Of course this is purely for getting back at the misery I was put through.

Cheers,
Scotsman

 

[velvett]

I always tell people I know to save the money they'd spend on a big wedding and use it for their lives since most of them aren't very well off. The guys understand but most girls look at me like I am the devil or something.LOL

That's because they've been brainwashed since they were 3 years old.

There's the Barbie Wedding, Barbie Wedding gown, Barbie Wedding Cake...

 

[Scotsman]

That's because they've been brainwashed since they were 3 years old.

There's the Barbie Wedding, Barbie Wedding gown, Barbie Wedding Cake...

Yep, it's sad really. Then what happens when that little girl finds out that daddy can't pay for her wedding? I saw that shit a bunch in college, girls planning out these huge weddings even though they didn't even have a boyfriend.

Cheers,
Scotsman

 

[nycgirl]

Yep, it's sad really. Then what happens when that little girl finds out that daddy can't pay for her wedding? I saw that shit a bunch in college, girls planning out these huge weddings even though they didn't even have a boyfriend.

Cheers,
Scotsman

They find a boyfriend with earning potential to pay for the wedding.

I agree it is sad. Then 6, 10, 12, 18 months later, they are either separated, divorced, or having an affair. I think alot of boils down to neediness. It isn't just a need to be with someone, but the need to have that "status" (for whatever reason).

 

[Testosterone boy]

Marriage is a certificate of normality that will be scrutinized more closely as you age.

For that reason alone, I recommend it.

 

[spongebob]

I keep seeing people talking about this and it amuses me all the misconceptions about it.

Marriage is a legal contract between two people (man and woman) binding them in life by property and status.

Marriage actually has nothing to do with faith, religion, trust, love, understanding, respect, etc....

You can have all of those things without being married and have a wonderful life. Now you can't make a marriage work without them but they do not have any bearing on what marriage is. Too many of you substitute the word marriage for serious relationship. All a marriage does is provide for lifestyle continuance after the demise of the legal union. That is why you have to be liscenced by the state to perform marriages. This is also why you don't have to be a priest, minister, rabbi, shaman, etc... to perform them, you only have to be a legal representative of the state you are presiding over the marriage in.

Just voicing something that's been bugging me for a while.

Cheers,
Scotsman

i fully understand your points, but people do attach meanings to words. and for some 'marriage' does embody all of the above and then some, nothing wrong with that. for some it is the ultimate commitment.

we attach 'artificial' philosophies to a lot of other words and prhases.

 

[Testosterone boy]

If you decide to not try something because most people fail at it, stay in bed.

 

[Scotsman]

Marriage is a certificate of normality that will be scrutinized more closely as you age.

For that reason alone, I recommend it.

That's becoming less and less true though as new generations come of age. Being 30 and single is much more acceptable today than 10 or 20 years ago.

Cheers,
Scotsman

 

[velvett]

Then what happens when that little girl finds out that daddy can't pay for her wedding?

They marry a guy who will pay for the wedding.

 

[velvett]

i fully understand your points, but people do attach meanings to words. and for some 'marriage' does embody all of the above and then some, nothing wrong with that. for some it is the ultimate commitment.

we attach 'artificial' philosophies to a lot of other words and prhases.

People also attach meaning to things that don't actually exist.

 

[MILF69]

I keep seeing people talking about this and it amuses me all the misconceptions about it.

Marriage is a legal contract between two people (man and woman) binding them in life by property and status.

Marriage actually has nothing to do with faith, religion, trust, love, understanding, respect, etc....

You can have all of those things without being married and have a wonderful life. Now you can't make a marriage work without them but they do not have any bearing on what marriage is. Too many of you substitute the word marriage for serious relationship. All a marriage does is provide for lifestyle continuance after the demise of the legal union. That is why you have to be liscenced by the state to perform marriages. This is also why you don't have to be a priest, minister, rabbi, shaman, etc... to perform them, you only have to be a legal representative of the state you are presiding over the marriage in.

Just voicing something that's been bugging me for a while.

Cheers,
Scotsman

God I couldn't have said it better myself!