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Having a big debate w/ my boss about the possiblity/healthiness of being married but having friends of the opposite sex. She says it's not good for the marriage. I say it's alright if you trust your spouse. Any opinions?
Marriage and Friends
- Thread starter Sweet_Bitch
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OK, I'm not married yet...
but most of my friends are ladies. My girl trusts me, and it's reciprocal.
Guess it all depends on the person you're with. I know alota girls, especially, who are megaworried about their men having too many lady friends.
I say it's fine...
then again, I'm sure the #s will decrease once I'm married.
but most of my friends are ladies. My girl trusts me, and it's reciprocal.
Guess it all depends on the person you're with. I know alota girls, especially, who are megaworried about their men having too many lady friends.
I say it's fine...
then again, I'm sure the #s will decrease once I'm married.
Sweet_Bitch
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No, of course not. But my husband and I both have friends of the opposite sex. In my case, it's the guys I work with. Occasionaly a bunch of people from work will go out and I go too. I would never go hang out with any of them one on one. I wouldn't expect him to either. But if you have a friend and you chat through e-mail or even the occasional phone call I don't see a problem. Obviously, once you're married the rules for hanging out with these people have to change. But I see no harm in hanging w/ them in a group setting or talking to them.
bigmann245
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Sweet_Bitch said:
my wife and i have friends of the opposite sex. we have a strong enough relationship that we know it is just friends. i use to get calls at like 2 in the morning because some woman i worked with was having a problem or needed a ride because she got ditched. but i would just go over and help them however i could and go right back home. its all about trust. if you dont have it, then it is going to be a rough ride. there should be no jealousy in a marriage. it will drive you nuts.
GrandMaster
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umm, u can have friends for sure, but...hmm to sum it up...like humantarget said, nobody best be chillin with my wife if im outta town
when your married there has to be trust and Morals there too....so i guess i just contradicted what i just said hehe
when your married there has to be trust and Morals there too....so i guess i just contradicted what i just said hehe
Sweet_Bitch
New member
bigmann245 said:
Yeah, tell me about it
The 2 AM phone calls would prolly bug me a little, but if someone needs help and you're a friend, then you need to be there. My husband doesn't have many female friends. I'm the one who's always had LOTS of guy friends. I just get along better w/ guys-you're all normal-LOL!! There are a couple of guys from WAY back that I'll hang out w/ when I'm back home one on one, but not any where I am now. Trust is the key factor, true. My boss is seeing a pre-marriage conselour who has said that the things that you look for in a friend should only be found in your spouse once you are married. I don't know about that....
bigmann245
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GrandMaster said:
allthough this is true i wouldnt want my wife hanging out with a guy one on one either and vice versa. but in a group setting fine. but when i was in the navy and out at sea my wifes computer had problems and she called my buddy to come over to help fix it. he came over, fixed it and that was it. she told me about it and i was fine. i told her she should have took him to lunch to thank him, but she said she didnt want to upset me. but thats how much trus i had in her. im thousands of miles away and she is in my house with my buddy and i have so much trust in her that it does not bother me.
Sweet_Bitch
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GrandMaster said:
No, you didn't contradict yourself-you proved a point. That point is that having a friend is fine, within boundries. Hanging w/ your wife when you're out of town is just wrong!!
Sweet_Bitch
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bigmann245 said:
Course if he had shown up naked...that may have a different story
GrandMaster
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i guess what it comes down to is alot of people these days dont have alot of respect for another persons emotions...etc
sometimes is hard to find a half decent S.O
sometimes is hard to find a half decent S.O
I have 3 female friends total. Only one of them lives anywhere near me. And my sister. That's it. All of my friends are male. I don't usually get along well with females. Nor do I work in a female industry. It's never been a problem in my relationships.
Ultimately you trust your partner or you don't. And if your friends of the opposite sex don't want to befriend your significant other, then you probably shouldn't be friends with them anyhow.
Ultimately you trust your partner or you don't. And if your friends of the opposite sex don't want to befriend your significant other, then you probably shouldn't be friends with them anyhow.
Sweet_Bitch
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Raina said:
Mmmm....never thought of it that way, but it's an excellent point
I wonder...Sweet_Bitch
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Raina said:
All of the guy friends I have are well aware that I am (A)married and (B)NOT interested in them. I had one very close friend get drunk one night and profess his undying love for me-it was wierd and we talked about it an moved on. However, as a general rule I'm the same way. There's a line you can't cross, if you do-then there is no longer a friendship.
well, ok, look at it this way. i've had plenty of "friendships" with women. most of my gf's friends are the ones i have trouble with. i've had more problems with the "friend" who is always over, spending the night, etc. sooner or later you are alone with them. and resisting the temptation is not easy to do. i'm not talking subtle flirtation, i'm talking about her having 2 handfuls of my ass while rubbing her face on the front of my pants.......
Sweet_Bitch
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HumanTarget said:
I can see the problem with that
GrandMaster
New member
human target does have a point, but thats when shit comes into play, is your S.O providing you with personal satisfaction?
and it is TRUE, to and EXTENT...we all know us boys think with General Commander:HangLeft, rather then our brains at times.
i personally have tested myself and its tru, if my g.f doesnt occationally indulge with me in some sexual activity, my eyes are all over the map.
but that brings me to another point, us calling ourselves MEN, need to know where to draw the line,...especially if your IN a serious relationship, or even if their "friend" is too.
Just comes down to again, respect, trust, and morals
and it is TRUE, to and EXTENT...we all know us boys think with General Commander:HangLeft, rather then our brains at times.
i personally have tested myself and its tru, if my g.f doesnt occationally indulge with me in some sexual activity, my eyes are all over the map.
but that brings me to another point, us calling ourselves MEN, need to know where to draw the line,...especially if your IN a serious relationship, or even if their "friend" is too.
Just comes down to again, respect, trust, and morals
Sweet_Bitch
New member
GrandMaster said:
That-at the risk of being attacked-is probably the biggest problem in most relationships. NOT that some women know where to draw that line either but men are far more likely to cheat then women.
Sweet_Bitch
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HumanTarget said:
LMFAO
But soooo not true....
bigmann245
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when i worked at the club as a bouncer then as a bartender i didnt wear my wedding ring. i wasnt afraid of being hit on believe me, i had a million and one excuses not to go through with the advance. but when i did wear my ring, it was the ones that dont care i had to worry about. they would hit on me to no end. then they would go as far as to say well ill just tell your wife we did it anyway. so thats why i dont wear a ring. i got blackmailed too many times and i dont like the situation. but i tell my wife everything that happens. she actually gets off knowing other woman desire to be with me. but she knows i would never go to far. i couldnt even do it in high school when i was just seeing a girl. my friends did it all the time and now 2 of them are divorced. i wonder why they are divorced and i am still married. i must be doing something right.
