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The Shadow
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You're a good guy, and you really like your woman. In fact, you appreciate her so much that you've given her the world to show your appreciation for her. Over the course of a year, you've sacrificed a lot of time and money on the woman who won your heart over.
You picked her up from work every single day of the week, so that she would not tire her pretty little feet. You helped her renovate her new apartment. You stopped hanging out with your "immature" friends because she requested it. You cooked her the best gourmet meals. You bought her the most expensive dresses. You always change your plans to accommodate hers. You pay for dinner, take-out pizza, movie tickets, and even the popcorn. And you never ask for anything in return.
In fact, the only time you did was that weekend you were sick and kindly requested for your favorite mashed potatoes and steak -- which she kindly refused to prepare because she did not know how to cook. But that's all right, because you don't like to be a nuisance.
snap back into reality
Well guess what, friend? Unless you change your act, you've got a first class, one-way ticket to Broken Heart City where all her ex-lovers have been left behind. It's time to ask her, "What have you done for me lately?"
You think that you've been earning extra bonus air miles by doing extra favors for your little sweetie, but the reality is that if she doesn't contribute to the relationship equally, your efforts are in vein or at the very least, they're going down the drain. Here's why?
Normally, I would advise a lot of men to get out of such a relationship where the woman takes her man for granted without giving anything in return -- and I'm not referring to oral sex. But if you are truly committed to your woman and want to make your relationship last, then you must get your her to invest at least 50% of her time and money into the relationship.
It doesn't matter how rich you are, how good-looking you are, that you're the world's most romantic man in the world, or how funny you are. If she doesn't have any resources (be it time, or money) vested in you, she might chuck you as soon as someone better comes along. And you know Curt's Law, "Someone better always comes along, he's just around the corner, waiting for you to screw up."
If she doesn't invest, she'll find another deal…
still not convinced?
If you invested a significant amount of time and money into a specific project such as buying a home, starting a business, or investing in stocks, you'd appreciate the value of your investment a lot more than had it been handed to you on a silver platter, wouldn't you?
That said, the same principle applies to the dating world. It's human nature to value people that you've invested resources on. Now I have a question for you, "Who contributes more to the relationship? Is it you, or is it your little princess?" Think hard, because the reality of your answer is already working hard to shape the outcome of your relationship.
give her a line of credit
So what exactly do I mean by getting her to invest into the relationship? You've got to become a non-transferable air miles credit card. Imagine that every time your girl goes out shopping she pays with her credit card and earns extra air miles.
She does this over and over again, until pretty soon, she has enough air miles to travel around the world ten times. Now what happens if another credit card company comes along and offers her a better rate? Do you think she will switch?
If she has no air miles accumulated with you (investment), then chances are she'll switch without hesitation. On the other hand, if she has enough air miles to cover her traveling expenses for the next ten years, why would she ever change? Get the point, friend?
your mission
It's your job to keep your woman spending time and money with your air miles program so that as soon as John Visa comes along, she won't be lured away with his better rates.
So now that I've convinced you how important it is to get your woman to invest in the relationship, how do we get her started?
Ask for favors: The most important part to focus on is favors. If she does you a favor, she can justify this action by convincing herself that you are an attractive, likable, deserving person. Why else would she put forth so much effort with you?
Let her treat you as well as you treat her. Next time, ask her to cook a meal for you (she should know how to cook -- if not for you, then for herself). Ask her to drive you around, or pick you up from work. Let her pay for the movie tickets, popcorn, pizza, and dinner.
Make her spend on you…
Leo Tolstoy said it best: "We do not love people so much for the good they have done us, as for the good we have done them."
This is another reason why you shouldn't be putting all your eggs in one basket, and why it is so hard for a man to leave a woman who treats him like crap. Because most men have a lot of time and money invested in their women.
Time is money: You can increase her interest in you by getting her to spend more time with you doing the things that you enjoy and that she might not; like going to a hockey game, eating at one of your favorite restaurants (that only serve meat-lovers pizza), and even hanging out with your scalawag friends.
The important lesson here is that she spends time doing things that she would otherwise never do on her own time. Because if you spend time doing things that she enjoys, then there is no sacrifice on her part.
This will show her that you are a valuable person, and that if she wants to be around you, it's going to cost her too.
you deserve it too
It's fine to treat your woman like gold, but don't let her walk all over you. If your sacrifice comes from feelings of love, why are you not entitled to the same treatment that you're giving her? Why are her emotions not driving her to care for you in a similar way?
Is she any better than you are just because she's a woman? Most men think that women are perfect little angels. Well, I have news for you. They're not; they fart and pick their noses just like men do. So don't give them special treatment unless they (1) deserve it, and (2) reciprocate the treatment out of genuine love not because they expect something in return.
If you are always paying for everything, doing what she asks of you, and putting all the effort into the relationship, she will have nothing invested in you, while you will have everything invested in her. And when you do something that infuriates her, she'll run out of your life and you will be left confused, wondering what you did wrong, and feeling acrimonious toward the opposite sex.
Get it on!
You picked her up from work every single day of the week, so that she would not tire her pretty little feet. You helped her renovate her new apartment. You stopped hanging out with your "immature" friends because she requested it. You cooked her the best gourmet meals. You bought her the most expensive dresses. You always change your plans to accommodate hers. You pay for dinner, take-out pizza, movie tickets, and even the popcorn. And you never ask for anything in return.
In fact, the only time you did was that weekend you were sick and kindly requested for your favorite mashed potatoes and steak -- which she kindly refused to prepare because she did not know how to cook. But that's all right, because you don't like to be a nuisance.
snap back into reality
Well guess what, friend? Unless you change your act, you've got a first class, one-way ticket to Broken Heart City where all her ex-lovers have been left behind. It's time to ask her, "What have you done for me lately?"
You think that you've been earning extra bonus air miles by doing extra favors for your little sweetie, but the reality is that if she doesn't contribute to the relationship equally, your efforts are in vein or at the very least, they're going down the drain. Here's why?
Normally, I would advise a lot of men to get out of such a relationship where the woman takes her man for granted without giving anything in return -- and I'm not referring to oral sex. But if you are truly committed to your woman and want to make your relationship last, then you must get your her to invest at least 50% of her time and money into the relationship.
It doesn't matter how rich you are, how good-looking you are, that you're the world's most romantic man in the world, or how funny you are. If she doesn't have any resources (be it time, or money) vested in you, she might chuck you as soon as someone better comes along. And you know Curt's Law, "Someone better always comes along, he's just around the corner, waiting for you to screw up."
If she doesn't invest, she'll find another deal…
still not convinced?
If you invested a significant amount of time and money into a specific project such as buying a home, starting a business, or investing in stocks, you'd appreciate the value of your investment a lot more than had it been handed to you on a silver platter, wouldn't you?
That said, the same principle applies to the dating world. It's human nature to value people that you've invested resources on. Now I have a question for you, "Who contributes more to the relationship? Is it you, or is it your little princess?" Think hard, because the reality of your answer is already working hard to shape the outcome of your relationship.
give her a line of credit
So what exactly do I mean by getting her to invest into the relationship? You've got to become a non-transferable air miles credit card. Imagine that every time your girl goes out shopping she pays with her credit card and earns extra air miles.
She does this over and over again, until pretty soon, she has enough air miles to travel around the world ten times. Now what happens if another credit card company comes along and offers her a better rate? Do you think she will switch?
If she has no air miles accumulated with you (investment), then chances are she'll switch without hesitation. On the other hand, if she has enough air miles to cover her traveling expenses for the next ten years, why would she ever change? Get the point, friend?
your mission
It's your job to keep your woman spending time and money with your air miles program so that as soon as John Visa comes along, she won't be lured away with his better rates.
So now that I've convinced you how important it is to get your woman to invest in the relationship, how do we get her started?
Ask for favors: The most important part to focus on is favors. If she does you a favor, she can justify this action by convincing herself that you are an attractive, likable, deserving person. Why else would she put forth so much effort with you?
Let her treat you as well as you treat her. Next time, ask her to cook a meal for you (she should know how to cook -- if not for you, then for herself). Ask her to drive you around, or pick you up from work. Let her pay for the movie tickets, popcorn, pizza, and dinner.
Make her spend on you…
Leo Tolstoy said it best: "We do not love people so much for the good they have done us, as for the good we have done them."
This is another reason why you shouldn't be putting all your eggs in one basket, and why it is so hard for a man to leave a woman who treats him like crap. Because most men have a lot of time and money invested in their women.
Time is money: You can increase her interest in you by getting her to spend more time with you doing the things that you enjoy and that she might not; like going to a hockey game, eating at one of your favorite restaurants (that only serve meat-lovers pizza), and even hanging out with your scalawag friends.
The important lesson here is that she spends time doing things that she would otherwise never do on her own time. Because if you spend time doing things that she enjoys, then there is no sacrifice on her part.
This will show her that you are a valuable person, and that if she wants to be around you, it's going to cost her too.
you deserve it too
It's fine to treat your woman like gold, but don't let her walk all over you. If your sacrifice comes from feelings of love, why are you not entitled to the same treatment that you're giving her? Why are her emotions not driving her to care for you in a similar way?
Is she any better than you are just because she's a woman? Most men think that women are perfect little angels. Well, I have news for you. They're not; they fart and pick their noses just like men do. So don't give them special treatment unless they (1) deserve it, and (2) reciprocate the treatment out of genuine love not because they expect something in return.
If you are always paying for everything, doing what she asks of you, and putting all the effort into the relationship, she will have nothing invested in you, while you will have everything invested in her. And when you do something that infuriates her, she'll run out of your life and you will be left confused, wondering what you did wrong, and feeling acrimonious toward the opposite sex.
Get it on!
Ominous.
