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Losing family...

nangiggles

nangiggles

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It's so damn hard, my father has been gone for almost 7 years now and it still doesnt get better, it kinda sucks because if I think about him I get sad but if I try not to think about him I feel guilty, sometimes I'm totally ok talking and thinking about him and sometimes he just casually comes up in a conversation that brings me to tears, makes me sad to not have had more time with him, to have been able to take care of him like he took care of me, buy him gifts, be at my graduation, my wedding, making him proud, he died when I was just 20 so we missed a lot, still got my mom thankfully but once she's gone that's gonna be even worse, specially since she's the last bit of glue that keeps us together, brother and I get along, sister not so much.

Those of you who have lost a parent, how has your family remained after it? did it bring you closer or quite the contrary, how do you cope?
 
Very touching.
Id like to say that my family has gotten closer, but unfortunately its the opposite.
Personally, I have learned to appreciate the little things, and try to spend more time with loved ones, its the one common theme I hear over and over, wish we would have....
So sorry about the void from your father, I try to remember the good moments, and I pray or "talk" to them.
Nothing fills the void, but I try to consider them when undertaking things, when I struggle I try to give that extra effort for them, in honor of what they would want.
I know they wouldnt want us to feel empty, so I try to honor that by doing my best to touch someone, or put that extra effort in something.
The sad truth is that as Jim Morrison said "no one gets outa here alive" just as life is, so is death, do something positive, spend that extra minute, time, money, to make a bond with loved ones and friends.
Bless you and your family

Sent from my SCH-I510 using EliteFitness
 
motorcyclegiant said:
Very touching.
Id like to say that my family has gotten closer, but unfortunately its the opposite.
Personally, I have learned to appreciate the little things, and try to spend more time with loved ones, its the one common theme I hear over and over, wish we would have....
So sorry about the void from your father, I try to remember the good moments, and I pray or "talk" to them.
Nothing fills the void, but I try to consider them when undertaking things, when I struggle I try to give that extra effort for them, in honor of what they would want.
I know they wouldnt want us to feel empty, so I try to honor that by doing my best to touch someone, or put that extra effort in something.
The sad truth is that as Jim Morrison said "no one gets outa here alive" just as life is, so is death, do something positive, spend that extra minute, time, money, to make a bond with loved ones and friends.
Bless you and your family

Sent from my SCH-I510 using EliteFitness
Click to expand...
Thank you, that's kind of how I see it, I sometimes think about dad before making decisions, like what he would have said or done.
I live in Jim Morrison's hometown ;)
 
This post is hitting home with me Nan. I lost my father in 2001 and I like you, think of him often and every time I go back home, I visit his grave and place a rose on it. Unfortunately, my mother is dying now with COPD and when she departs , I will have no one. I spend as much time as possible with my mother now and visit her every week and I make sure she wants for nothing during these final days. Best of luck to you Nan, I know exactly what you are experiencing.
 
Yeh it sucks. I lost my dad this past September. The fucked up part is my parents didn't except my girlfriend now wife of a year and we hadn't been talking for about 2-3 years. Now this has really sucked..... I loved my dad and loved my mom. Just a acceptance thing that I drew a line about that stopped the communication. So I fill your pain but I know he's not suffering anymore because his health was getting bad but I didn't realize it had gotten that bad. It's just part of life and it sucks.... I got a little down Thursday night thinking about it because it still feels like he's here and it's hard to accept it. You just have to think of the good times and talk about them often to people because it seems to help me. Don't get down because he's looking down smiling at you. They wouldnt want to see us sad.
 
Nine years agoI lost my uncle whom I was very close with and I still get choked up thinking about it sometimes. He died suddenly and unexpectedly at the young age of 41. I have regular dreams that he comes back and is actually not dead and it's the weirdest feeling

I can't imagine losing my dad. That might put me over the edge
 
r89doy.jpg
 
Lost a very close brother to a car accident when i was 20 y/o. its been over 25 years and i still get sad and depressed when i think about him, i am able to talk about him without getting choked up though, so it has gotten easier over the years
 
I have no immediate family left, both my parents and my only sibling are all dead. It's sad but it's the natural order of things. I deal with it by wallowing in morose depression.
 
I never had a father... Was abandoned when I was 2. I have always had a close relationship with my mom considering she's all I've ever had! When she's gone I don't have a clue what I will do or how I'll cope... Not something I care much to even think about either... It's crazy tho bc we all know life itself is a terminal condition in which no one ever makes it out alive but we still cant ever prepare ourselves for any close person to pass...
 
I never think of my parents dying. When I did just know, get uncomfortable but cant really imagine my life without them and trying to imagine it so seams fake, unreal. so its easy to just brush that thought aside.
 
*ebony* said:
I never think of my parents dying. When I did just know, get uncomfortable but cant really imagine my life without them and trying to imagine it so seams fake, unreal. so its easy to just brush that thought aside.
Click to expand...

I think about it all the time. Preparing myself because I know I'll feel really alone in this shitty world. I just hope I'm able to be there when my Dad lets go.
 
cindylou said:
I think about it all the time. Preparing myself because I know I'll feel really alone in this shitty world. I just hope I'm able to be there when my Dad lets go.
Click to expand...

I was present when my mom died. It seemed like defeat.
 
digimon7068 said:
my pops died one month ago, last tuesday...it's tax season and i'm busy as hell...i haven't thought about it much.
Click to expand...

Im so sorry for your loss Digi. If you should need anything , please feel free to contact me.. You and your family are in my prayers. :artist:
 
nangiggles said:
It's so damn hard, my father has been gone for almost 7 years now and it still doesnt get better, it kinda sucks because if I think about him I get sad but if I try not to think about him I feel guilty, sometimes I'm totally ok talking and thinking about him and sometimes he just casually comes up in a conversation that brings me to tears, makes me sad to not have had more time with him, to have been able to take care of him like he took care of me, buy him gifts, be at my graduation, my wedding, making him proud, he died when I was just 20 so we missed a lot, still got my mom thankfully but once she's gone that's gonna be even worse, specially since she's the last bit of glue that keeps us together, brother and I get along, sister not so much.

Those of you who have lost a parent, how has your family remained after it? did it bring you closer or quite the contrary, how do you cope?
Click to expand...

wtf did u g-bomb cindy for :confused:
 
Arabian said:
Im so sorry for your loss Digi. If you should need anything , please feel free to contact me.. You and your family are in my prayers. :artist:
Click to expand...

it's ok broheim...he was in rough shape by the time he checked out...he was diagnosed with a degenerative condition that was going to have a negative impact on his life span several years ago at the cleveland clinic...and he had gone down hill a lot since then...i had several years to get used to the idea that my old man wasn't gonna be around a lot longer and, by the time he went, it was a blessing...plus, my pops and i didn't have a warm, fuzzy, poo-poo, kissy-kissy sorta relationship anyway...it was hard on my kids, but i'm ok with it.
 
digimon7068 said:
it's ok broheim...he was in rough shape by the time he checked out...he was diagnosed with a degenerative condition that was going to have a negative impact on his life span several years ago at the cleveland clinic...and he had gone down hill a lot since then...i had several years to get used to the idea that my old man wasn't gonna be around a lot longer and, by the time he went, it was a blessing...plus, my pops and i didn't have a warm, fuzzy, poo-poo, kissy-kissy sorta relationship anyway...it was hard on my kids, but i'm ok with it.
Click to expand...

I understand..:artist:
 
digimon7068 said:
it's ok broheim...he was in rough shape by the time he checked out...he was diagnosed with a degenerative condition that was going to have a negative impact on his life span several years ago at the cleveland clinic...and he had gone down hill a lot since then...i had several years to get used to the idea that my old man wasn't gonna be around a lot longer and, by the time he went, it was a blessing...plus, my pops and i didn't have a warm, fuzzy, poo-poo, kissy-kissy sorta relationship anyway...it was hard on my kids, but i'm ok with it.
Click to expand...

I remember talking to u about that... It was scleroderma right?
 
Sinister Minister said:
I remember talking to u about that... It was scleroderma right?
Click to expand...

yup...nasty fucking disease...started hardening his veins and arteries, then his lungs, then began to damage heart and kidneys...then he went to the hospital with pneumonia and while he was there they found late stage cancer...he lasted about two weeks...in fact, about 4 hours before they were going to come to move him from the hospital to extended care, he got up to pee, peed, went back to bed, fell back asleep and his heart stopped beating about 20 minutes later...we should all be so lucky.
 
My dad died right after my wedding. the morning of my wedding he had what I believe was called a silent heart attack and collapsed in his bedroom. He had 11% kidney function and was on dialysis 3 days a week. He refused to go to the hospital, and showed up the the wedding late, using a walker. He had to leave the wedding immediately after some pictures were taken, then came to the reception in a wheelchair. After the reception, he went directly to the hospital, who held him for a couple days then moved him to a hospice. He spent a few days there, then against the doctors wishes he went home, he lasted another week or so before he collapsed on his kitchen floor and died.

On the bright side, his nurse visited him the morning of his death and said he was in a good mood, and asked her to open the patio door so he could enjoy the beach breeze.
 
WoodyO said:
My dad died right after my wedding. the morning of my wedding he had what I believe was called a silent heart attack and collapsed in his bedroom. He had 11% kidney function and was on dialysis 3 days a week. He refused to go to the hospital, and showed up the the wedding late, using a walker. He had to leave the wedding immediately after some pictures were taken, then came to the reception in a wheelchair. After the reception, he went directly to the hospital, who held him for a couple days then moved him to a hospice. He spent a few days there, then against the doctors wishes he went home, he lasted another week or so before he collapsed on his kitchen floor and died.

On the bright side, his nurse visited him the morning of his death and said he was in a good mood, and asked her to open the patio door so he could enjoy the beach breeze.
Click to expand...

That's similar to my dad. He was on dialysis and had to go 3 times a week and had heart issues. He was having a good day before and day of. They found him in the parking lot of the dialysis clinic in his truck holding his nitro. He had a massive heart attack in his truck. sad stuff..... It's hard loosing a loved one....
 
My dad died 9 days before Christmas a few years ago. I watched thru the Glass ICU doors as he flatlined with my mom lying in the bed next to him, crying. He was the pillar of our family and my parents were very close. Soul mates for sure. My mom fell apart after that. She was so strong when I was growing up, took good care of my dad and us kids. I wanted to be just like her when I was younger. After my dad died, she became an alcoholic. I fought for years to try to save her, even tried to have her involuntarily committed to a rehab. Then I realized that you can't save someone that wants to die and uses a substance to slowly commit suicide. I did have any time to grieve. I busy taking my mom to the hospital with alcohol poising every other week. I didn't even cry one time. When my cousin died two years later, I really missed my dad and who my mom used to be.

It was a dream about my dad that helped me thru a lot of this stuff. All he said in that dream was "wish you were here". After that I felt like he wasnt far.
 
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