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Locking people in closets

I must be doing something wrong here, because I can't seem to break the guy in my closet. I've tried opening the door and beating him with a hammer, but he keeps resisting. I've doused him in WD-40 and lit his face on fire, but he keeps swearing at me. I've had his body encased in cement, then swung at his head with golf clubs, but he continues to struggle.

I am putting him to work in the mines, so he needs to be reprogrammed. I have no background in neurology, or anything related for that matter, so I'm trying to break his spirit with beatings and the like.

I reckon that if I peel his face off slowly that he might forsee a future of disfigurement, and might be more willing to cooperate. I could even play Roxette and gouge his eyes first to prep him.

I know VixenVenus makes me wish to be able to vomit my intestines up, so her input could be valuable.

Any help is appreciated.

Thanks in advance.
 
you should really ask supersizeme - from what I have heard, he has had the most recently experience with coming out of the closet - so maybe he could give you some tips on keeping people in.
 
Fuck it, he broke the door and tried to run away, then got caught in my leg-hold trap. I had to shoot him in the neck with a crossbow.

Time for a drink.
 
Perrsonaly I would let him out, but lock all the doors, get him in a corner and beat him to near death with a bag of kittens. But hey, thats just who I am.

Looks as if your on the right track
up-men-00301.jpg
 
Use the needle tourcher next time you idiot.
 
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