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Little children

biteme

biteme

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When they're not being brats, aren't they cute. When little 2 and 3 years olds smile at me, it reminds me of when my daughter was that age and I start to think, maybe I wouldn't mind having another one of those.
 
Little munchkins rock. I love how they can get so excited about the simplest things.:)



I would love to have a child.

:angel:
 
big4life said:
Little munchkins rock. I love how they can get so excited about the simplest things.:)



I would love to have a child.

:angel:
Click to expand...

Amen.

:angel:
 
I'm perfectly happy with my dogs. I never hold my fiance's niece or nephew. I just think it's stupid to act like a fool just to get the runts to smile at you. Bad part is that my fiance wants to start having them no later than 28 which is only a few years away :(
 
When I see little kids and they smile and laugh at you, it makes me want to have one. Then, when I see them screaming and pitching a fit in the grocery store, I question whether I ever want them.
 
i love my son. he's 16 months going on 10 years...lol. I just started a list of things he does cause he is such a smart ass. When he hits 18years i'll pull the list out and kick his ass for everything i wrote down. I now call my mom and apologize to her on a weekly basis...lol
 
I saw the cutest thing ever a couple of months ago. I was food shopping and this mom passes me. She has her son in the cart. He kept saying, "mommy, mommy.." Finally she said. "yes". And he said," I love you". It was soooo cute.


I wanted to have kids. But just got a new puppy. He's a major handful. Don't know how I could deal with a baby.
 
I just got a new cousin and I love him!

kids of my own?

it's going to be tough, I'll get jealous of all the attention my wife is giving the kid, plus I gather dealign with a pregnant woman for 9 months is no fun///
 
flexygrl said:
I saw the cutest thing ever a couple of months ago. I was food shopping and this mom passes me. She has her son in the cart. He kept saying, "mommy, mommy.." Finally she said. "yes". And he said," I love you". It was soooo cute.


I wanted to have kids. But just got a new puppy. He's a major handful. Don't know how I could deal with a baby.
Click to expand...

You're a newlywed right? Wait a while. Once that baby comes along, it's a major life change. You don't have near the time to spend with your spouse as you do now. They require your diligent attention around the clock. But it was all worth it to me. I had a blast with my daughter. She was so cute.
 
biteme said:


You're a newlywed right? Wait a while. Once that baby comes along, it's a major life change. You don't have near the time to spend with your spouse as you do now. They require your diligent attention around the clock.
Click to expand...

I stongly disagree! Here is my take on this. This is a paper I wrote about my views on being being a wife/husband and being a parent.



How to Raise Happy Children



Once upon a time people got married, had children and reared them. It wasn't something they spent a lot of time fretting over. Then came the baby boom and a slew of child-rearing experts with fancy degrees. Soon rhetoric replaced reality. Nonsense replaces common sense. Raising kids became "parenting", an abstract difficult science. Parents became permissive and democratic, and, not surprisingly, children became spoiled and out of control.

Well, I am not an expert on raising children, because I do not have children. I have been an aunt for nearly 16 years and have learned a lot through trial and error. My experience has shown me that a number of fashionable ideas many of today's parents believe are actually damaging myths. Here are six of these myths--- and the straight facts that can make raising your children much easier and more rewarding.

Myth 1: Children should come first. For the first seven years of life, my mother and father went to college and worked part-time. When Mom and Dad were home, they often ushered me outdoors, where I'd find myself sharing the sidewalk with other kids-- who's also been kicked out of their houses. If I truly needed Mom or Dad, they were always there. On the other hand, if I wanted to do something for me that I could do for myself, they were quick to instruct me accordingly. I never felt rejected or uncared for. Quite the contrary-- I felt loved and independent at the same time.
Since World War II, we have become obsessed with elevating kids to a position of prominence they have not earned and do not benefit from. The more child-centered the family has become, the more self-centered the children have become.
Except for the first few years of life, children do not require constant attention---any more than they require unlimited food. Kids need to eat, but if you give them too much they become food addicts. Too much attention is every bit damaging, making it difficult for the child to outgrow his infantile self-centeredness.
But parents can help cure children of an addiction to attention by putting their marriage first. For if the marriage is healthy, the family and each individual within it will be healthy as well. The children will have a secure foundation upon which to build self-esteem. Several years ago, some friends created an unusual rule: for 30 minutes after everyone gets home, the children must play in their rooms or go outside. The parents take this time to unwind and talk as they prepare the evening meal. Until this rule, my friends have devoted themselves entirely to the kids. But the more attention they gave them, the more demanding and disobedient the children became. The kids have taken over! Now the children find things to do by themselves until dinner, when they all enjoy talking together. These children have become independent, secure, outgoing, happy and polite. What it took was the parents' moving their marriage back to center stage.


Myth 2: A family is a democracy. Parents often ask me, "How can we get our children to obey?" My answer is simple and direct: "If you expect your children to obey, they will." I’m sure many American parents would say they do expect their children to obey. I’m equally sure that many American children are not obedient. This sorry state of affairs is the fault of parents who forever beat around the bush of obedience, lest they damage their child's supposedly fragile psyche. When parents please, bargain, bribe, threaten, give second chances or "reason" with children, they are wishing for--- not expecting--- obedience.
The most common form of wishing takes place when parents argue with young children. A parent will make a decision that the child doesn’t like, and the child screeches, "Why?" But this isn’t a question. It's an invitation to do battle. By accepting the invitation, you step squarely into quicksand. And you cannot win.
No matter how eloquent or correct your explanation, children can see only one point of view-- their own. It is far better, without hint or threat or apology, to say simply, "Because I said so."
As a child, I couldn’t stand to hear those four words. If those words absolutely stick in your throat, try, "Because I’m the parent, and making decisions is my responsibility."
The fact is, a family is not a democracy. Eventually someone has to be the final say, and that someone better be an adult, or everyone is in trouble.

Myth 3: Housework id for parents only. When I help run workshops, I ask, "How many of you expect your children to perform household chores for which they are not paid?" In a group of 500, no more than 50 hands will go up.
Then: "How many of your parents would have raised their hands to the same question?" Hands go up everywhere, and people laugh. But it's no laughing matter. In just one generation, we have managed to misplace an important tenant of child-rearing: children should be contributing members of their families.
The ultimate purpose of raising children is to help them out of our lives and into successful lives of their own. Chores provide a sense of accomplishment, enlarging a child's feelings of worth.
You should begin assigning chores (real chores) when your child is three. At this age, kids are eager to please and want to get involved in whatever their parents are doing. A three yr. old can help make his bed and set the table. A four or five yr. old can keep his room orderly. A six yr. old can vacuum. A ten yr. old should contribute 45 minutes of "chore time" each day plus two hours on Saturday. By age 18, kids should know how to run a home. He should be able to wash and iron clothes, prepare basic meals, clean bathrooms, mow grass. All this training not only helps prepare children for adulthood but also develops an appreciation for the effort parents pit into maintaining a household.



Myth 4: Frustration is bad for children. Believing the fairy tale that frustration causes stress and poor self-esteem, parents work hard to "protect" their children from this terrible scourge. But the truth is, life involves many frustrations, and it’s only through experience with frustration that we develop a tolerance for it. This enables us to turn adversity into challenge and persevere in the face of it. Perseverance, that all-important "if at first you don't succeed" attitude, is the primary quality in every success story.
So give your children regular doses of vitamin N. This vital nutrient is the most character-building two-letter word in the English language---NO.
To find out if you've given your children enough of this word, list on a sheet of paper everything you've ever dreamed of having. A sports car? A new house? Jewelry? Now circle the things on your list you'll actually acquire within the next five years. Most of us content ourselves with 20 percent of what we desire.
On a second sheet of paper, list everything your kids will ask for in the next 12 months--- toys, electronic equipment, the latest clothes, movie tickets, etc. Then circle the things they're probably going to get. If you're a typical American, you circled 75 percent of your children's wish list.
We accustom our children to material standard completely out of kilter with what they can expect as adults. Consider also that most of them attain this level of affluence not by working or sacrificing, but by whining, demanding and manipulating. We teach them that something can be had for nothing---one of the most destructive attitudes a person can acquire.
So administer vitamin N. Give your children all they truly need, but only some---say 25 percent---of what they simply want.

Myth 5: The more toys kids have, the better. A typical child's home has toys strewn all over the place, yet children still complain, "I'm bored!" They are bored precisely because parents provide them with so many things. A child can't decide what to do next because the clutter presents too many options.
The child's boredom also has a lot to do with the kinds of toys parents buy. In most cases, they are mass-produced toys that stimulate little creative thought. Worse, they are so one-dimensional---especially the popular electronic games---they they limit a child's ability to express imagination.
Truly creative toys encourage a child to use something to represent something else. When a child takes a pine cone, sets it upright and calls it a tree, that’s the essence of fantasy, which is in turn the essence of play. Clay, finger paints and crayons are all examples of creative toys. In the hands of imaginative child, so are everyday things like spoons, boxes and paper bags---not to mention sticks, rocks and mud, glorious mud.
Some parents worry that if their child doesn't own the latest "in" toys his friends have, his self-esteem will suffer. But self-esteem is not a function of how many things we have. It's a function of nurturing the gifts that lie within.

Myth 6: "My kids don't watch too much TV." Between ages two and five, the average American preschool child watches 28 hours of TV a week, or 1456 hrs. a year. You may say, "My child only watches 15 hours a week." Well, according to my own informal studies in the families I work with, parents generally underestimate their children's television viewing time by 50 percent.
Your child's preschool years are formative ones during which he develops the skills needed to become creative and competent. Next time he is watching television, ask yourself, What is he doing?
Television-watching inhibits initiative, curiosity, motivation, imagination, reasoning and attention span. Because the action shifts constantly in time, it also fails to promote logical, sequential thinking, thereby causing problems in following directions and anticipating consequences. And there is ample evidence that television-generation children, deprived of opportunities for discovery and developing natural gifts, are less competent than previous generations. Just take a look at our kids' lower scholastic-achievement test scores and literacy levels.
I think it makes sense to keep a child away from television as much as possible until at least the third grade, when he or she has learned to read well. After that, there's no problem letting a child watch educational or sports programs, but I recommend that parents allow no more than five hours of television a week.

I feel that if others implements my ideas and ignore trendy ideas about "parenting" and rely instead of on your common sense, you'll have the best possible chance of rearing happy, healthy children.
 
Last edited:
I didn't read all of it, I have to make a phone call. But good post so far. I did mean that for the first few years of the child's life, they require constant attention and some people are not prepared for that.
 
That required a lot of thought and effort. I imagine that you will make an excellent parent.
 
nvrbuffenuff_girl said:


Thanks!

I have a minor in child development. I am quite active with new parenting trends and such.
Click to expand...


wait till you have one then post about something you know about:p
 
nvrbuffenuff_girl said:

Myth 2: A family is a democracy. Parents often ask me, "How can we get our children to obey?" My answer is simple and direct: "If you expect your children to obey, they will." I’m sure many American parents would say they do expect their children to obey. I’m equally sure that many American children are not obedient. This sorry state of affairs is the fault of parents who forever beat around the bush of obedience, lest they damage their child's supposedly fragile psyche. When parents please, bargain, bribe, threaten, give second chances or "reason" with children, they are wishing for--- not expecting--- obedience.
The most common form of wishing takes place when parents argue with young children. A parent will make a decision that the child doesn’t like, and the child screeches, "Why?" But this isn’t a question. It's an invitation to do battle. By accepting the invitation, you step squarely into quicksand. And you cannot win.
No matter how eloquent or correct your explanation, children can see only one point of view-- their own. It is far better, without hint or threat or apology, to say simply, "Because I said so."
As a child, I couldn’t stand to hear those four words. If those words absolutely stick in your throat, try, "Because I’m the parent, and making decisions is my responsibility."
The fact is, a family is not a democracy. Eventually someone has to be the final say, and that someone better be an adult, or everyone is in trouble.
Click to expand...
Hmmm , I would say I was raised in a pretty typical Irish envronment - super tough mother (also working) and workaholic father. Whenever the mood took them they would beat me , I would say that I was extremely inquisitive , much preferring tearing apart machinery to "toys" from the age of 3. To say to such a child "Because I said so" would be to me stunting the kids' growth. Mostly my Mum could not answer my questions ("Why is the sun yellow/sky blue" etc., but she was patient and kind and Im still grateful. My father was never as patient and this lack of patience laid the foundation for our presently strained relationship.... but anyway onto my point (there is one y'know): I notice now here in Germany that fathers in particular have much more time to explian things to their children , Im personally aware of a couple whose son is developing into a remarkable boy with wonderful confidence and dare i say it intelligence. Funnily enough the female in the couple (not the child's natural mother as it happens) is often upset about the father's patience with the boy and sometimes feels neglected (or at least thats what she tells her friend..my ex gf)and would prefer that he hit Janus rather than be so patient. I hope and believe that I will behave in the latter fashion with my own. That is to use the carrot and to shun the stick.
 
flexygrl said:
I saw the cutest thing ever a couple of months ago. I was food shopping and this mom passes me. She has her son in the cart. He kept saying, "mommy, mommy.." Finally she said. "yes". And he said," I love you". It was soooo cute.
Click to expand...

It's one thing when you tell them that you love them, and the say it back. It's a totally different feeling when they say it without any kind of prompting. Children have said it to me before "for no reason" and my heart always skips a beat.

:angel:
 
nvrbuffenuff_girl said:


I stongly disagree! Here is my take on this. This is a paper I wrote about my views on being being a wife/husband and being a parent.

I think I'm in love!
Click to expand...
 
I'm in no way, shape or form ready to have a child. Last month I was fighting with my husband because I wanted to start a family. First he was really into it, then things started happening at his job and he got scared. Thank god we didn't just dive into it. I'm not ready to sacrifice my life or my relationship yet.
 
Young children are simply amazing...

and they possess so many gifts. The way they look at their parents with trust, love and admiration. The way their eyes fill with happiness when you walk though the door. And it always amazes me the way children are mesmerized by the simple things in life...the things that we as adults, overlook, or take for granted.
 
Mandinka2 said:

Whenever the mood took them they would beat me , I would say that I was extremely inquisitive , much preferring tearing apart machinery to "toys" from the age of 3. To say to such a child "Because I said so" would be to me stunting the kids' growth. Mostly my Mum could not answer my questions ("Why is the sun yellow/sky blue" etc., but she was patient and kind and Im still grateful.
Click to expand...

In my paper when I stated that parents should tell child(ren) "Because I said no" in situations did not mean that it should be used when the child ask a question such as "Why is the sun yellow and the sky blue?". That totally different in itself.

I was stating that it would be okay to tell your child "Because I said so" or "Because I am the parent and as a parent it is my responsibility to make decisions" when dealing with behavior. For example, if your child was having a hard time following a simple direction that you have asked him or her to follow it. They are asking over and over again "why?" it would be suitable to tell them the above.

Patience is something that is MUCH needed when dealing with children. :)
 
WideTexxx said:



wait till you have one then post about something you know about:p
Click to expand...

Actually, I am writing a book on parenting before I have kids and then I will write another after I have kids.

It will be interesting to see if any of my views change.
 
I don't know, the older I get the less I feel any connection to children or having them - it's just something I don't see happening.


On the other hand - I love to teach children, even the real snarly ones.
 
biteme said:


It's not for everyone. My sister is 42 and I don't think she will be having children, although my daughter is like a stepdaughter to her.
Click to expand...


I have a Godson - he's a cutie.
Sleeps and giggles just like I did.























He will be spoiled rotten.
 
velvett said:
I don't know, the older I get the less I feel any connection to children or having them - it's just something I don't see happening.


On the other hand - I love to teach children, even the real snarly ones.
Click to expand...

It's not for everyone. My sister is 42 and I don't think she will be having children, although my daughter is like a stepdaughter to her.
 
nvrbuffenuff_girl said:


In my paper when I stated that parents should tell child(ren) "Because I said no" in situations did not mean that it should be used when the child ask a question such as "Why is the sun yellow and the sky blue?". That totally different in itself.

I was stating that it would be okay to tell your child "Because I said so" or "Because I am the parent and as a parent it is my responsibility to make decisions" when dealing with behavior. For example, if your child was having a hard time following a simple direction that you have asked him or her to follow it. They are asking over and over again "why?" it would be suitable to tell them the above.

Patience is something that is MUCH needed when dealing with children. :)
Click to expand...
Maybe , sometimes I feel that people do not devote enough attention or sincerity to really deal with their childs' concerns , merely because of the fact that they are little. Often the petulance that accompanies the needless repetition of the "why" question is because of the failure to devote a moment of true attention to the child I imagine.Bertrand Russell and Rudyard Kipling , were both famous for publicly accosting people they saw "disciplining" their children and felt that the proper way to treat children was as if they were little people. Much has been written of their ability to learn at accelerated rates , personally I think that kids are often much more sincere than adults , a skill (being insincere) that is undoubtedly and regreattably neccessary to succeed. Im totally with you toga on learning things from children.... im so lookin forward to tuckin my kids in....

"But when I see the light in the face of a child ,
I realise there is more to this world
than ugly ignorance"
- old poem translated from Gaelic (apologies for lousy translation)
 
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