Let me tell U about my night.

[biteme]

I'm getting ready to go out for dinner and maybe to a club around 7:30p.m. and my mom and dad pull up in their motor home. They are here to pick my sister up from the airport tomorrow and bring her to my house. She has been in Africa, studying the masturbating habits of baboons. My dad has had Parkinson's disease for around 8 years now and every time I see him he has deteriorated more. Yet, he still cracks me up. I was showing him my new shotgun, I'm not familiar with guns, so he was helping me to see why it wouldn't pump. He said, "Son it's like a dry pussy, it needs some oil. It's like sticking your dick in a dry pussy."

Then we got ready to go out to eat and we decided to take his car. I keep trying to back it up, but it won't budge. My dad says, "Damnit, Dolores must have run over something and damaged the bearings." After several attempts to back up, he finally realized that he hasn't unhitched the car from the motor home. We were both laughing our asses off. As we left the restaurant, I couldn't get the car to start and I was baffled. He said, "Are U sure you're putting the right key in there." I said, "Yes, it fits right in there." Then I looked and saw that I was trying to start his car with my keys. LMAO. Like father like son.
If felt weird though, having to hold his hand like a child to walk him to the motor home.

 

[Wycked Sceptre]

Lol! Pops sounds like a good bro, take care of him.

 

[ZKaudio]

biteme...we still lub u bor.

 

[TC2]

"I'm not familiar with guns, so he was helping me to see why it wouldn't pump. He said, "Son it's like a dry pussy, it needs some oil. It's like sticking your dick in a dry pussy.""

You know which end to point right???

 

[biteme]

"I'm not familiar with guns, so he was helping me to see why it wouldn't pump. He said, "Son it's like a dry pussy, it needs some oil. It's like sticking your dick in a dry pussy.""

You know which end to point right???

LOL. No man, I've fired guns plenty of times. Just not in a long while and although I assembled the shotgun correctly, it wouldn't pump so I assumed that I must have done something wrong. But, It was just like a dry pussy and needed some lube b4 pumping.

 

[vinylgroover I]

Did you end up banging a hooker?

 

[DepressiveJuice]

sometimes its hard to decipher whether or not someone is being sarcastic. was your sister really in africa for the above stated reason?

 

[biteme]

Did you end up banging a hooker?

No. Can't do it anymore. I'm finished, all washed up. If I can't get a girlfriend, I'll just have to whack it for the rest of my life. I can't go to clubs, bars, strip joints any more. I'm 39 and have had my fill of that.

 

[biteme]

sometimes its hard to decipher whether or not someone is being sarcastic. was your sister really in africa for the above stated reason?

LMAO. No, she heads research projects for Aids, birth control. She will take an assignment for a few months, come home a few months, and then go back. She loves Africa and the safari. She will sit right next to the apes in the wild and photograph them. SHe has a photo of a baboon masturbating , I shit you not. When she gets back, I'm going to have to find a scanner so I can post it.

 

[vinylgroover I]

No. Can't do it anymore. I'm finished, all washed up. If I can't get a girlfriend, I'll just have to whack it for the rest of my life. I can't go to clubs, bars, strip joints any more. I'm 39 and have had my fill of that.

cut the self depracating crap and start rooting hookers. How do you think i got my reputation as a stud?

 

[DepressiveJuice]

How do you think i got my reputation as a stud?

self-styled?

 

[jackangel]

on the internet, it's almost always self-styled.

 

[GoldenDelicious]

biteme is that you in your avatar?

 

[TheLordofIron]

Sweet story Biteme. Your dad sounds like a great man.

 

[CipherLock]

Good Times.
I wish my Dad wasn't such an ass.