Lestat's Guide to Advanced E-Flirting

[Lestat]

Men of Elite,

If you are anything like me, you've noticed that there are tons of very hot babes on EliteFitness.com. Horny guy that I am, It didn't take me long to find the members' galleries and start perusing the boner building pics of hot EF women, in great shape, wearing next to nothing! While getting an eyefull, I got to thinking "How great would it be to hook up with a lady who shares my passion for fitness and the EF lifestyle, and to top it all off, has a body you can't help but drool over? Simple answer... it would be awesome.

But how do you get to know the members of Elite better? For the women it seems pretty easy at times, there is no shortage of horny guys, and no shortage of attention. You only have to post once and you've got a hundred or more guys wooing you, asking you for pictures of your goods, and proclaiming that you are the greatest female to ever grace an Internet message board. But if you are a guy, how do you break the ice with your EF crush without looking like a total fool?

Well, that is where my top 5 advanced e-flirting rules come in. I've been around a while and have had some great hook-ups and made some great friendships with many members on this site, I've met many of our amazing members in the flesh (including the women!). But was it dumb luck? Were the words I typed somehow more profound than the other guys? Nope. I simply used all the tools at my disposal to the fullest. Here are the top 5 things that can help you take your e-flirting to the next level.

Lestat's Guide to Advanced E-Flirting

Lestat's Top E-Flirting Rule Number 5:
Don't e-flirt on the open board. That is where all of your competition is! You don't want your well thought out e-game to be wasted on the open boards where the person it is intended for may never even see it and, you will be caught and maybe copied by everyone else. Take your game to PM - the forums' built in private messaging system. (And remember when you're a Platinum Member, you can store up to 5000 PM's, so don't blow it by crafting the perfect PM flirt and then get POWNED because you never got a reply because your PM box was full!)

Lestat's Top E-Flirting Rule Number 4:
Use Karma Hits to your advantage. You may have noticed that members seem to go crazy for those little green dots, or better yet, the Karma Crowns. You can transfer karma to your crush easily using the Karma Store. Or you can approve of someone's posts increasing their total karma count - just make sure that when you do, you take the time to leave a sexy Karma message. Platinum Members can give more karma and their karmic power is bigger then non plats. So being a Platinum Member really helps your e flirting game big time.

Lestat's Top E-Flirting Rule Number 3:
Learn as much about your crush as possible. Read their posts, learn about their fitness goals and progress. But,... Don't "post stalk" them by replying to everything they post! That'll blow your game fast. But, do use the Platinum Search feature to stay current on what they have shared with the board - just do a Platinum Search by member name. That way when it does comes time for some one-on-one talk, perhaps in the Platinum Chat room, you'll have a good idea of who you are talking to, they wont just be another pretty face on a screen.

Lestat's Top E-Flirting Rule Number 2:
Post some pictures of yourself - don't be shy. If you are coming on full force with your e flirting, the object of your attention is going to be curious to see who they are dealing with! Put some pictures of yourself in your Platinum Gallery, or post a thread in the Picture of our Members board. Make them fun and exciting. Tease them! You never know who else might take a liking to you. And don't worry if you're not as jacked as NeedSize - most of us aren't, but that doesn't mean we don't look appealing to the opposite sex.

And, the top E-Flirting Rule?

Lestat's E-Flirting Rule Number 1:
Hook someone up with an EliteFitness.com Gift Certificate!

I saw this feature recently and thought it could be a very powerful new tool for the most advanced e-flirters. So, I tested it out recently on a couple Plat hotties: lickin lollypops and gymbitch. I sent them each a gift certificate for $11.97 with the following sexy message.

Hey sexy,

Here's gift certificate that you can use to go Platinum, buy Karma, or an eBook at the EliteFitness.com Store. And in exchange, please fill your gallery with all kinds of nudie pictures for me to enjoy, lol. And if I'm every in your part of the country, would you like to meet up?

Or, you might try writing something more direct like:

If I give you a free Platinum Membership will you lick my lollypop?"

I haven't received the fully nude pics from either member yet, although Lickin Lollypops has been PMing me quite a bit and is also quite curious as to how exactly the Platinum Bombs work - she came to the right person to ask!

I even sent an $11.97 gift certificate to a couple of dudes on EF just to see what they would say and to see if e-flirting with the gift certificates worked on dudes. Look at what happened! Here's what I sent to eat big:

Hey sexy,

Here is a gift certificate that you can use to go Platinum, buy Karma, or an eBook. And in exchange, please fill your gallery with all kinds of nudie pictures for me to enjoy, lol. And if I'm every in your part of the country, would you like to meet up?

and eat big replied with:

Dude,

Thanks! Now that I'm Plat, I can jerk it to Raina and Daisy Girl's Galleries!

Thankfully, eat_big kept his cawk pics to himself - or maybe he saving them for e-flirting with Raina and Daisy Girl's! Then I sent another gift certificate to theoak01 and he said:

Thanks Lestat,
The best part about being Platinum is being able to bomb the idiots on the board, for example coldblue whom I have already hit lol.

As you can see, a gift certificate, strategically sent, can be a very powerful tool for e-flirting or just for making new friends. And, if the member you have your eyes on goes Platinum, she can then start filling her gallery with even more pictures, to show off her progress, and of course to show you some skin!

If by some chance the member of your dreams is already a Platinum Member, they can use the gift certificate to get some e-books that will help them get the most out of their training, diet, and supplementation, or they could use it to buy Karma to increase their Karmic Power.

Here's one more cool feature of the Gift Certificates - you can schedule them to be sent at a date in the future. For example, I like to check out the Elite Fitness.com Member Birthday Calendar, and then send a member an $11.97 gift certificate that they can use on their birthday. I don't even need to be around on the birthday itself, because I can schedule it to be sent at some time in the future. This makes a good Holiday Feature too! You can schedule it so that a favorite member can get a gift certificate from you exactly on Christmas Day!

Here's a link to get an EliteFitness.com Gift Certificate. And thanks for reading my Guide to Advanced E-Flirting!

Use it to your advantage!

Lestat

 

[George Spellwin]

Interesting.

 

[stilleto]

me thinks there's been a conspiracy between jorge and lestat.

 

[sawastea]

Did Giorgio Spellburger hyperlink many of your words?

 

[Guinness5.0]

thanks for the spam

 

[HumorMe]

pass

 

[blut wump]

Damn I thought he was coming onto me. I had my cock out ready and everything.

 

[alien amp pharm]

Omg

 

[GoldenDelicious]

should have called it the Novice Guide

proper feng-shui11th Dan ninja flirtmasters (like me) laugh (with lips out of sinc) at your feeble guide

 

[lickin lollypops]

I haven't received the fully nude pics from either member yet, although Lickin Lollypops has been PMing me quite a bit and is also quite curious as to how exactly the Platinum Bombs work - she came to the right person to ask!
Lestat

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

LOL at goldenshowerdelicious.

 

[superqt4u2nv]

thanks for the spam

That is what I thought too wtf did I get it anyways I am girl.

I was considering putting GS on ignore so I would stop getting his mass PM's Plats should be able to filter that stuff like spam.

 

[hotzie]

damn i thought i was special when i got the PM

 

[hamstershaver]

wheres the part about him flirting with sawastea and having ef meat ups?

 

[GoldenDelicious]

LOL at goldenshowerdelicious.

pink dildos at midnight, byotch!

between me and your girlfriend

and her mom

dont wait up

 

[Guinness5.0]

It was titled "wanna e-flirt?" or something, and I had just posted pics yesterday, so I was kinda scared when I opened it

 

[pintoca]

so Lestat is a flirting bot?

I always knew his AI engine was flawed.

 

[*MissFit*]

so is he a real person

 

[stilleto]

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

pink dildos at midnight, byotch!

between me and your girlfriend

and her mom

dont wait up

hahahahahahahahaha

 

[gotmilk]

wheres the part about him flirting with sawastea and having ef meat ups?

You have to go Plat for that.

 

[eat big]

Damnit. Damnit. Damnit. BTW what I said is NOT true.

 

[DieselGunz]

WTF Lestat is in with George for sure now

 

[Daisy_]

OMY!

 

[Lestat]

Most of you chat regulars are familiar with most of the points I brought up, but there are a lot of people on the boards that are not.

 

[Daisy_]

Most of you chat regulars are familiar with most of the points I brought up, but there are a lot of people on the boards that are not.

As if you are serious.

 

[Lestat]

As if you are serious.

People HAVE gotten laid from here, there is even one couple that has gotten married.. i guarentee you that none of it could have been done without things like PMs.. posting of pictures.. etc.

 

[Daisy_]

People HAVE gotten laid from here, there is even one couple that has gotten married.. i guarentee you that none of it could have been done without things like PMs.. posting of pictures.. etc.

Ya, kay. I believe that. But I don't get why you care. I thought you had a gf you were moving in with?

 

[hotzie]

People HAVE gotten laid from here, there is even one couple that has gotten married.. i guarentee you that none of it could have been done without things like PMs.. posting of pictures.. etc.

you are such a

 

[pintoca]

you are such a

I think Lestat wants a Life Platinum membership for the AfterLife

 

[hotzie]

I think Lestat wants a Life Platinum membership for the AfterLife

it would appear so

 

[Lestat]

Ya, kay. I believe that. But I don't get why you care. I thought you had a gf you were moving in with?

Exactly!

I'm off the market now, I can flirt, but I'm not gonna try to get laid or anything like that... so I'd rather pass my knowledge on to other good bros in hopes that it can somehow help them to reach the promised land.

 

[Daisy_]

Exactly!

I'm off the market now, I can flirt, but I'm not gonna try to get laid or anything like that... so I'd rather pass my knowledge on to other good bros in hopes that it can somehow help them to reach the promised land.

Just one thing... when you pass advice to get the ladies of ef in bed with them, dont send the pm to all the ladies... *wink*

 

[Lestat]

Just one thing... when you pass advice to get the ladies of ef in bed with them, dont send the pm to all the ladies... *wink*

that's a good point, but its only fair. You may see the guys tactics, but if implemented properly, you will be powerless against them. Lucky for you, you are married to a good bro and don't have to worry about this meat market.

 

[Extra_Strong]

thanks for the spam

................

 

[Lestat]

I apologize if you think it was spam, I seriously thought it would be funny, I realize there is a bit of a pitch in there (well maybe a lot) but the idea was to be FUNNY and entertaining... I personally find it tough to read with a straight face.

 

[pintoca]

bro, now all the EF population turned into MONSTER e-flirters with absolutely infalible e-game.

You ruined it for the rest of us. Now nobody is going to post anymore, since they will be all PMing their keyboards away. Look at hammy! He has barely posted today

 

[Lestat]

bro, now all the EF population turned into MONSTER e-flirters with absolutely infalible e-game.

You ruined it for the rest of us. Now nobody is going to post anymore, since they will be all PMing their keyboards away. Look at hammy! He has barely posted today

just trying to level the playing field bro... you've got the market cornered on the European women.. only competition out there for you is perkele, but he only goes for the one's with a penis.

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

you don't want a dude who smokes but he can't buy weed

 

[hotzie]

you don't want a dude who smokes but he can't buy weed

werd kayne

 

[BrothaBill]

lol, creative but seriously, some will actually believe that shit. It was like the Tao of James I posted, only better than the fungsheiu of Goldendelicious.

You must be desireless, yours is for teenagers with desire. Only through letting go of "want" can you actually "find"
All the wrong messages are sent in your guide, its what you want to find, through not wanting that you discover what is there.
By not wanting, being genuine and sincere can you escape the bad karma of trying to act as something you are not, a playa. Which inevitably will lead to cognitive dissonance for you and any girl you hook up with.
To be or not to be is the question, to be, an instructed sociopath, is not to be

 

[gotmilk]

you are such a

Karma for you when I reload

 

[Lestat]

lol, creative but seriously, some will actually believe that shit. It was like the Tao of James I posted, only better than the fungsheiu of Goldendelicious.

You must be desireless, yours is for teenagers with desire. Only through letting go of "want" can you actually "find"
All the wrong messages are sent in your guide, its what you want to find, through not wanting that you discover what is there.
By not wanting, being genuine and sincere can you escape the bad karma of trying to act as something you are not, a playa. Which inevitably will lead to cognitive dissonance for you and any girl you hook up with.
To be or not to be is the question, to be, an instructed sociopath, is not to be

Bro, that is TOO advanced for most people on here.. that is just a completely different level.. its all Zen.

 

[BrothaBill]

Bro, that is TOO advanced for most people on here.. that is just a completely different level.. its all Zen.

I was once like you, a playa, lol, well, in college, I was the exact opposite of George as he states in his Elite Guide to Getting Laid sales pitch, so, now that Im older. I dont really care to take to bed countless vacuumheads to prove that I have selfworth.
If Im going to have sex with a woman, I would like it to mean something. Afterall, years of being semitruthful and sociopathic kinda gets to a fella.
Says, is there something more??

Well, yes there is. Its called the Tao of James. Its a e-book that will help you fulfill the inner you and find a partner that you can actually have fun with and share all of your ideas, hopes and desires. With true unconditional acceptance of each other with no need or worry that the other person is still hung up in the psycho-sexual phase of unintimate sexual liasons b/c they have a personality defect that limits intimacy. Thereby striking out against the one person that may actually care for them by acts of disingenuiness.

All saying, its like the graduate school of living your love life.
To learn more, send checks or money order to brothabill.com to receive your guide to "There's got to be fucking more than fucking more sluts"

 

[Lestat]

I was once like you, a playa, lol, well, in college, I was the exact opposite of George as he states in his Elite Guide to Getting Laid sales pitch, so, now that Im older. I dont really care to take to bed countless vacuumheads to prove that I have selfworth.
If Im going to have sex with a woman, I would like it to mean something. Afterall, years of being semitruthful and sociopathic kinda gets to a fella.
Says, is there something more??

Well, yes there is. Its called the Tao of James. Its a e-book that will help you fulfill the inner you and find a partner that you can actually have fun with and share all of your ideas, hopes and desires. With true unconditional acceptance of each other with no need or worry that the other person is still hung up in the psycho-sexual phase of unintimate sexual liasons b/c they have a personality defect that limits intimacy. Thereby striking out against the one person that may actually care for them by acts of disingenuiness.

All saying, its like the graduate school of living your love life.
To learn more, send checks or money order to brothabill.com to receive your guide to "There's got to be fucking more than fucking more sluts"

it sounds like you know what you are talking about man... people could learn a thing or two from you.

 

[BrothaBill]

it sounds like you know what you are talking about man... people could learn a thing or two from you.

lol, were like yin~yang you and I, I see you as an intellectual equal given our common education, although we tend to disagree on our message even though the intent may be the same. Short-term and long-term, both pieces of the puzzle, in the end, each part is fulfilled

 

[Lestat]

lol, were like yin~yang you and I, I see you as an intellectual equal given our common education, although we tend to disagree on our message even though the intent may be the same. Short-term and long-term, both pieces of the puzzle, in the end, each part is fulfilled

thanks man, that is quite a compliment. You are definitely one of the "thinkers" on the board, and your posts are generally chock full of well researched and well thought out information. To be called your intellectual equal is an honour.

 

[reigninghard]

I must admit, I am reevaluating being a part of this board. This crap I get about ugly man's guide to getting laid, e-flirting? WTF! I am sick and tired of being solicited for these things.....It makes me think I am part of something not quite as legit as first believed...granted I have had much help and support from a few members here and I am much appreciative, but when I get a pm about somebody jerking off to a members pic...it pisses me off..enough is enough....I know I'm not Plat so it doesnt make any difference to the business aspect of Elite, but I still wanted to share my opinion. I'm sure I am ranting and noone will read this, and I am considered a newb ( i guess I still am). And I am a bad person and i dont know what im talking about and i have nothing constructive to say and I didnt use the search engine before i posted, and i didnt read the sticky and i didnt ask permission from a mod before posting, and etc. etc. ect.

P.S. This board has FAR more great things about than bad.

I LOVE YOU ALL!

 

[Lestat]

I must admit, I am reevaluating being a part of this board. This crap I get about ugly man's guide to getting laid, e-flirting? WTF! I am sick and tired of being solicited for these things.....It makes me think I am part of something not quite as legit as first believed...granted I have had much help and support from a few members here and I am much appreciative, but when I get a pm about somebody jerking off to a members pic...it pisses me off..enough is enough....I know I'm not Plat so it doesnt make any difference to the business aspect of Elite, but I still wanted to share my opinion. I'm sure I am ranting and noone will read this, and I am considered a newb ( i guess I still am). And I am a bad person and i dont know what im talking about and i have nothing constructive to say and I didnt use the search engine before i posted, and i didnt read the sticky and i didnt ask permission from a mod before posting, and etc. etc. ect.

P.S. This board has FAR more great things about than bad.

I LOVE YOU ALL!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I'm not an owner or employee of Elite, so I can't speak for them, but I will respond with my thoughts.

The PM I sent was intended to be humorous. It was also intended to promote some of the advanced features of the site, which yes, do cost money. Almost all of the features have a free option associated with it (PMs, Karma, etc) but for those of you that want to spend some money and can, there is always another level to take things to.

I apologize if you think the language I used was too crass, it certainly deals with some adult themes and includes some crude language. I do feel the topics are of interest to the members here though, some of our women's galleries are quite popular, and I'd be willing to be that more then a few members have "enjoyed" them if you get my drift.

I am glad you recognize that there is a far more great here then bad, but keep in mind that what you consider "bad" is part of what allows all the "great" to happen. Sites do not run themselves, and they cost money. Some of the work here is volunteer (moderators), but other things take real cash (servers, hard disk space, internet connection, software support). There are many ways that these things are paid for, and I touched upon quite a few in my PM. The goal isn't to force anyone to buy anything they don't want, but to raise awareness to these featuers. I have gotten MANY responses to the PM.. some saying it was riduclous, others saying it was funny, and many people just asking general questions like "how does karma work?"

I realize my PM was unsolicited, and I tried to balance that out by making it entertaining and funny. Even someone who was ALREADY platinum and had full use of all the features I talked about could still find some entertainment value in it. Believe it or not a lot of thought went into the PM trying to make it an enjoyable read. I know I can't please anyone, but I appreciate your comments and glad you enjoy the site.

 

[reigninghard]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I'm not an owner or employee of Elite, so I can't speak for them, but I will respond with my thoughts.

The PM I sent was intended to be humorous. It was also intended to promote some of the advanced features of the site, which yes, do cost money. Almost all of the features have a free option associated with it (PMs, Karma, etc) but for those of you that want to spend some money and can, there is always another level to take things to.

I apologize if you think the language I used was too crass, it certainly deals with some adult themes and includes some crude language. I do feel the topics are of interest to the members here though, some of our women's galleries are quite popular, and I'd be willing to be that more then a few members have "enjoyed" them if you get my drift.

I am glad you recognize that there is a far more great here then bad, but keep in mind that what you consider "bad" is part of what allows all the "great" to happen. Sites do not run themselves, and they cost money. Some of the work here is volunteer (moderators), but other things take real cash (servers, hard disk space, internet connection, software support). There are many ways that these things are paid for, and I touched upon quite a few in my PM. The goal isn't to force anyone to buy anything they don't want, but to raise awareness to these featuers. I have gotten MANY responses to the PM.. some saying it was riduclous, others saying it was funny, and many people just asking general questions like "how does karma work?"

I realize my PM was unsolicited, and I tried to balance that out by making it entertaining and funny. Even someone who was ALREADY platinum and had full use of all the features I talked about could still find some entertainment value in it. Believe it or not a lot of thought went into the PM trying to make it an enjoyable read. I know I can't please anyone, but I appreciate your comments and glad you enjoy the site.

Thank you for an understanding reply... I would probably normally say what the hell and laugh, but I have just seen too much of this type of thing all at once. It just struck a nerve. I apollogize if I am being too sensitive, but i feel better now that I posted that... Thanks Lestat, K2U

 

[777-9311]

I dont see any hot chicks on this forum, so no thanks.

 

[BrothaBill]

thanks man, that is quite a compliment. You are definitely one of the "thinkers" on the board, and your posts are generally chock full of well researched and well thought out information. To be called your intellectual equal is an honour.

Well, its true, given similar educational backgrounds, you tend to word things, just by the sum culmination of your experiences in a way that I can jargonize with. Sorta like Samoth and UAiron talking their schtick.
I split off of course and went into medicine, you, technology. Our lineage of thoughts diversified and well, years later, its still funny to see a foundation of language still implanted in you.
Its one thing to explain things in simplest terms as if a chemist were to talk about Jung or Adler or Bandura, but to know that one person actually gets the references means that its not all for not means that, I do exist (no thankx descartes). lol
We spent the same years pouring over the same texts. I even did cognitive research sitting around the room academically masturbating of personal constructs with people way more into the stuff than I can imagine. My research professor, a good friend, he was a pupil and worked under Seligman, remember learned helplessness(dogs and the electrical wall, once lowered they still wont jump across). His pupil, a Brilliant man, hung out with him, bikeriding, working out, the man filled my head with so much info. it was incredible. Still reeling from the way knowledge can affect ZEN. It was, just by being a good Watson, an incredible experience.
I made sure all of his meanial tasks were completed, freed his mind up for higher functions, he just would expound on his thoughts. have me administer tests, research, lecture. Quite an amazing journey.
Sadly, he bought a Mazda Miata and I knew it was all a bunch of bullshit!!

 

[pintoca]

I dont see any hot chicks on this forum, so no thanks.

 

[Lestat]

Thank you for an understanding reply... I would probably normally say what the hell and laugh, but I have just seen too much of this type of thing all at once. It just struck a nerve. I apollogize if I am being too sensitive, but i feel better now that I posted that... Thanks Lestat, K2U

No problem man, I know what you mean and can empathize.. i get the PMs and emails from "George Spellwin" too and at times it just seems too fake.. too contrived.. and I know I can be called guilty of the same thing just now.

 

[awittyusername]

Exactly!

I'm off the market now, I can flirt, but I'm not gonna try to get laid or anything like that... so I'd rather pass my knowledge on to other good bros in hopes that it can somehow help them to reach the promised land.

I agree that I am to the point where I get more pleasure helping the younger guys get laid than myself. But.....

Don't you think a one of Elites players who actually pulled some punannie could have given us better advice, then the Bomb Squad leader?

 

[Lestat]

I dont see any hot chicks on this forum, so no thanks.

there are hot chicks EVERYWHERE man! Many of our female posters are gorgeous... awesome bodies, and totally cool personalities.. I won't tell you who though, that is your job to figure out.

If you want straight pictures, check out the pictures of women forum, gotmojo and a few others are constantly keeping us stocked with a fresh supply of porn.. everything from amateur softcore.. to kinky hardcore.

 

[Lestat]

I agree that I am to the point where I get more pleasure helping the younger guys get laid than myself. But.....

Don't you think a one of Elites players who actually pulled some punannie could have given us better advice, then the Bomb Squad leader?

I feel I am more then qualified.

 

[awittyusername]

I feel I am more then qualified.

So...That Swasticka/lestat was a success?

 

[Lestat]

So...That Swasticka/lestat was a success?

as far as meeting up with another good bro from EF? It was a great success.

I got the NY and sawastea called to touch base and setup a convenient time to meet up, he gave me some awesome restuarant suggestions that I took, he was exactly what I would expect from a good bro. We met up at a bar of his choice, had a few drink, talked about EF, work, New York, College, stocks, careers, etc...

I'd do the same for anyone from EF visiting San Diego (coughcoughKillahBeecough)

 

[BrothaBill]

I dont see any hot chicks on this forum, so no thanks.

There are no hot chix on any forum, just a bunch of electrons on the screen that you, in your mind decide is or are hot. Typically trying to sharpen their gameface to the next reallife encounter to meet guys. Dont believe the hype its a sequel
Caught you lookin' for the same thing
It's a new thing check out this I bring
Uh Oh the roll below the level
'Cause I'm livin' low next to the bass C'mon
Turn up the radio
They claim that I'm a criminal
By now I wonder how
Some people never know
The enemy could be their friend guardian
I'm not a hooligan
I rock the party and
Clear all the madness, I'm not a racist
Preach to teach to all
'Cause some they never had this
Number one, not born to run
About the gun...
I wasn't licensed to have one
The minute they see me, fear me
I'm the epitome - a public enemy
Used, abused without clues
I refused to blow a fuse
They even had it on the news
Don't believe the hype...

Yes
Was the start of my last jam
So here it is again, another def jam
But since I gave you all a little something
That we knew you lacked
They still consider me a new jack
All the critics you can hang'em
I'll hold the rope
But they hope to the pope
And pray it ain't dope
The follower of Farrakhan
Don't tell me that you understand
Until you hear the man
The book of the new school rap game
Writers treat me like Coltrane, insane
Yes to them, but to me I'm a different kind
We're brothers of the same mind, unblind
Caught in the middle and
Not surrenderin'
I don't rhyme for the sake of of riddlin'
Some claim that I'm a smuggler
Some say I never heard of 'ya
A rap burgler, false media
We don't need it do we?
It's fake that's what it be to 'ya, dig me?
Don't believe the hype...

 

[awittyusername]

as far as meeting up with another good bro from EF? It was a great success.

I got the NY and sawastea called to touch base and setup a convenient time to meet up, he gave me some awesome restuarant suggestions that I took, he was exactly what I would expect from a good bro. We met up at a bar of his choice, had a few drink, talked about EF, work, New York, College, stocks, careers, etc...

I'd do the same for anyone from EF visiting San Diego (coughcoughKillahBeecough)

I was just messing with you bro.

I just think your ideas of flirting are wrong. You should just choose the Plat Membership offer that George sends you an IA of your choice to your doorstep for sex. (I think it the 9 month plan)

 

[GoldenDelicious]

lol, creative but seriously, some will actually believe that shit. It was like the Tao of James I posted, only better than the fungsheiu of Goldendelicious.

You must be desireless, yours is for teenagers with desire. Only through letting go of "want" can you actually "find"
All the wrong messages are sent in your guide, its what you want to find, through not wanting that you discover what is there.
By not wanting, being genuine and sincere can you escape the bad karma of trying to act as something you are not, a playa. Which inevitably will lead to cognitive dissonance for you and any girl you hook up with.
To be or not to be is the question, to be, an instructed sociopath, is not to be

picture brothabill perched on a podium, in some ampitheatre hewn out of living rock, lightning flashing behind him, wind clawing the sky, raindrops pelting his head, washing runnels along his outstretched limbs, thunder booming off the rocks as he punctuates each of his thoughts with a flailing arm, so like a flaming brand, like Moses come down from mount sinai...

...then for all his bluster, the Giant Thumb of Yasmina comes down out of the clouds and squashes him, buglike, against the ground, mid stroke

all you mofos listening to brothabill, let me illustrate:

brothabill: blee blee blee, blah blah blah, pompous pompous
brotha bill: bee bee bee bee bee bleeeee bleee
Yasmina: wee wee wee wee WWEEE WEEE WEEE WEE HUNTERS HILL WE WEEEEE WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWEEEEEEEEEE WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
brothabill: bleeeeeeee bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Yasmina: RRRRRROOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
*Yasminas thumb comes down*

you mofos need to choose a better role model

 

[Lestat]

picture brothabill perched on a podium, in some ampitheatre hewn out of living rock, lightning flashing behind him, wind clawing the sky, raindrops pelting his head, washing runnels along his outstretched limbs, thunder booming off the rocks as he punctuates each of his thoughts with a flailing arm, so like a flaming brand, like Moses come down from mount sinai...

...then for all his bluster, the Giant Thumb of Yasmina comes down out of the clouds and squashes him, buglike, against the ground, mid stroke

all you mofos listening to brothabill, let me illustrate:

brothabill: blee blee blee, blah blah blah, pompous pompous
brotha bill: bee bee bee bee bee bleeeee bleee
Yasmina: wee wee wee wee WWEEE WEEE WEEE WEE HUNTERS HILL WE WEEEEE WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWEEEEEEEEEE WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
brothabill: bleeeeeeee bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Yasmina: RRRRRROOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
*Yasminas thumb comes down*

you mofos need to choose a better role model

LMAO!!!

 

[BrothaBill]

picture brothabill perched on a podium, in some ampitheatre hewn out of living rock, lightning flashing behind him, wind clawing the sky, raindrops pelting his head, washing runnels along his outstretched limbs, thunder booming off the rocks as he punctuates each of his thoughts with a flailing arm, so like a flaming brand, like Moses come down from mount sinai...

...then for all his bluster, the Giant Thumb of Yasmina comes down out of the clouds and squashes him, buglike, against the ground, mid stroke

all you mofos listening to brothabill, let me illustrate:

brothabill: blee blee blee, blah blah blah, pompous pompous
brotha bill: bee bee bee bee bee bleeeee bleee
Yasmina: wee wee wee wee WWEEE WEEE WEEE WEE HUNTERS HILL WE WEEEEE WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWEEEEEEEEEE WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
brothabill: bleeeeeeee bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Yasmina: RRRRRROOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
*Yasminas thumb comes down*

you mofos need to choose a better role model

Aww, but as the karma rolls in and your thunder dies, know that it fades in your solitary mind as you live your life in a vacuum of know one caring about you.
And when yassy and I are sick in our hospital bed and you, just by chance happened to be next to me, let you see all of my kids and grandkids and family visit me. While you, in your grand machochauvinism lay there, no family or anyone that really cares, glaring over at me. My offspring, my caring kin, visiting me keeping you awake as you bitch and offer the world just bitterness that even the nurses wont want to deal with you let alone family.
You'll look over and see my happy family and the great karma I made with them raising a brood to make an alpha wolf proud.
Then may I look over at you and say, mate, we've both lived lives, would you trade all your days for mine to at least have a caring visitor?

 

[eat big]

Seriously, I don't jack to their galleries.

 

[George Spellwin]

Lestat's a good bro and I though his section on using EliteFitness.com Gift Certificates to e-flirt or just make new friends was genius! So I Awarded some of my Karma to this thread for Lestat to give away as he sees fit.

 

[George Spellwin]

Seriously, I don't jack to their galleries.

I believe you eat big - never thought that you did for a second!

 

[eat big]

Lestat's a good bro and I though his section on using EliteFitness.com Gift Certificates to e-flirt or just make new friends was genius! So I Awarded some of my Karma to this thread for Lestat to give away as he sees fit.

I need it. Seriously the board thinks I'm some weird kid who jerks it to galleries when the truth is I don't. I'm not SublimeZM.

 

[eat big]

I believe you eat big - never thought that you did for a second!

Thanks Lestat!

 

[George Spellwin]

No problem man, I know what you mean and can empathize.. i get the PMs and emails from "George Spellwin" too and at times it just seems too fake.. too contrived.. and I know I can be called guilty of the same thing just now.

Did you read this weeks EFN? I thought it was pretty good and informative.

Funny as it may seem, your doctor can legally do a lot of things that are not medically necessary to help you look better. He can inject botulism into your face, he can cut open your chest and stick silicone bags under your breasts, and he can suck fat out of your belly and then inject it into you penis. Ouch!

Yet, if he wants to prescribe anabolic steroids to you to help you build a more powerful physique, unless you are testosterone deficient, it is illegal for him to do so. This is the story of a doctor who did anyway and is now in a world of trouble because of his actions.

Find the full story along with the top three steroid supplier lists on the Net, more on the BALCO case, and 10 online pharmacies where you can legally get the drugs you need - all in this week's EliteFitness.com News.

<a href="http://www.elitefitness.com/articledata/efn/103105.html" target="_blank">Click here to read this week's EliteFitness.com News!</a>

This coming Monday - we have an article on bodybuilding in Afghanistan!

 

[Mr. dB]

This is a deeply disturbing trend.

 

[hotzie]

i jerk it to alot of peeps galeries

 

[George Spellwin]

I need it. Seriously the board thinks I'm some weird kid who jerks it to galleries when the truth is I don't.

I'm told that it's perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of.

 

[fistfullofsteel]

Interesting.

 

[awittyusername]

i jerk it to alot of peeps galeries

Thats why I decided to take all my pics out of my gallery out

 

[hotzie]

Thats why I decided to take all my pics out of my gallery out

i know , you need to put those back



























please

 

[GoldenDelicious]

Aww, but as the karma rolls in and your thunder dies, know that it fades in your solitary mind as you live your life in a vacuum of know one caring about you.
And when yassy and I are sick in our hospital bed and you, just by chance happened to be next to me, let you see all of my kids and grandkids and family visit me. While you, in your grand machochauvinism lay there, no family or anyone that really cares, glaring over at me. My offspring, my caring kin, visiting me keeping you awake as you bitch and offer the world just bitterness that even the nurses wont want to deal with you let alone family.
You'll look over and see my happy family and the great karma I made with them raising a brood to make an alpha wolf proud.
Then may I look over at you and say, mate, we've both lived lives, would you trade all your days for mine to at least have a caring visitor?

should we, therefore, guage the value of our lives by the caring of our descendants? my life will be as good as it will be, and will be infinitely valuable...to me

besides, the day i find myself looking next to me, seeing you and yasmina prone on a bed...im hoping itll be as your pharmacist, tut tutting the ravages that married stres has wrought on your feeble body, checking your med chart to see that you die, quickly, that your daughter and i can inherit your house on hunters hill and elope until i tire of her, of course, and dump her half yankee arse on some sydney gutter

she better not look like you, though, brothabill. in that case, deals off

 

[BrothaBill]

Lestat's a good bro and I though his section on using EliteFitness.com Gift Certificates to e-flirt or just make new friends was genius! So I Awarded some of my Karma to this thread for Lestat to give away as he sees fit.

fuck, that sux ass, anyone could have spent an hour doing that PM. Ill show you spellwin. Ill come up with something of actual value. Fuck that getting laid bullshit, its all over the internet. Gots to have a hook, something different. A true meaning. Reach inside the little neurotics and touch something.

Sex is just a simplistic pavlovian response on the lowest scale of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Simple logic means that, once that is fulfilled, they move onto the next. A way into the inner core of someone and actually offering a solutions to their need. Is to bring about thought through questioning and good writing. A sales pitch to the low common demoninator only gets you so far. If you touch and heal the higher up levels of issues, at a fraction of the cost of psychologist's visits and divorce attorneys. Then, THEN you have a product.
The, get laid in an environment where pussy is everywhere, means you are offering a commodity. Offering a product, well, thats where the money is to be made.
It's marketing 101, which Im sure youve written, but look how many young kids on your boards have grown into adults with the same fucked up philosophy. Its like YOU havent taught them anything. Its all about ZEN my friend. Its all about what footprints you want to leave in the sand when you die George. Leave, good ones, leave bad ones. Its a ZEN question, that can only be answered by you.

 

[BrothaBill]

should we, therefore, guage the value of our lives by the caring of our descendants? my life will be as good as it will be, and will be infinitely valuable...to me

besides, the day i find myself looking next to me, seeing you and yasmina prone on a bed...im hoping itll be as your pharmacist, tut tutting the ravages that married stres has wrought on your feeble body, checking your med chart to see that you die, quickly, that your daughter and i can inherit your house on hunters hill and elope until i tire of her, of course, and dump her half yankee arse on some sydney gutter

she better not look like you, though, brothabill. in that case, deals off

Im sure my brethern will have tortured you to death and dismembered your body in some croc farm long before I need an O2 tank

 

[GoldenDelicious]

someone wake me up when brothabill stops talking

if i dont reply, it means drool has soaked the keyboard and electrocuted me

if that happens, i want Yasmina to have all my karma

 

[GoldenDelicious]

Im sure my brethern will have tortured you to death and dismembered your body in some croc farm long before I need an O2 tank

you need an O2 tank already you long winded mofo!

 

[Lumberg]

The two tips I like for e-flirting work best over AIM, but I suppose could be conducted via PM.

It's a tried and true trick.

First of all you try to find out what her idea of the best vacation or situation in the world is, like say she likes the beach. Then you vividly paint a word picture for her, of you and her at the beach. Describe the sounds, the salt spray, the sun, find out if she likes pina coladas or beer. Keep teasing out her likes and dislikes and create imaginary situations that would make her feel great. Then she will start to associate feeling great with you. Then BAM you are in. Takes work but worth it.

Second one is paint a vivid word picture of her taking a luxurious bath. perhaps you lead her into the bathroom and there are candles lit and a nice hot bacth waiting for her with lots of bubbles. You rub her neck/shoulders/feet as she luxuriates in the warm water and scents and relaxation. This associates those feeling with you in her mind, and also shows you are willing to take care of her and spoil her to a degree. That you appreciate her.

Basically lavish lots of attention on her, find out what her likes and dislikes are, and remember them well. Incorporate them into the fantasies you write for her.

 

[BrothaBill]

you need an O2 tank already you long winded mofo!

Well Im used to typing longwinded diagnostic reports rather than ringing up a cashier sale at the five and dime pharmacy, thatll be five and fiddy cents for your aspirin and tucker

 

[GoldenDelicious]

Well Im used to typing longwinded diagnostic reports rather than ringing up a cashier sale at the five and dime pharmacy, thatll be five and fiddy cents for your aspirin and tucker

i dont ring up sales i just count the money and make sure all the corpses of the patients on the floor are disposed of properly

 

[Seashell]

thanks for the spam

Yeah. That was annoying.

 

[BrothaBill]

i dont ring up sales i just count the money and make sure all the corpses of the patients on the floor are disposed of properly

1) Upon gross examination of the patient, he appears to a mildly obese young male in his late twenties. His chest and neck was ausculated showing no signs of bruit or murmurs. JVD is negative, neurologic is negative for remarkabitity. Outward appearance is remarkable for lack of clothing style.
2) His blood pressure is elevated at 150/95. Patient admits to freely abusing alcohol leaving to concomittant raise in basal bp. Patient refuses to consider lifestyle changes. Its recommended 40mg of furosemide per day to alleviate the fluid buildup.
3) LA is upper limits of normal, mitral valve is normal with mild to moderate leakage secondary to his enlarged left atrium.
4) LV is mildly enlarged and concentric hypodynamic contraction is observed secondary to questionable alcoholic cardiomyopathy. The LV outer dimensions are thickened, questionable as to hypertrophic due to alcohol induced hypertension or alcohol induce hypertrophic cardiomyopathy.
5) The aortic valve is normal and trileaflet with normal excursion. There is no sign of aortic stenosis or aortic regurgitation.
6) The inferior vena cava is distended at 3.1cm with no inspiratory collapse, the RA is grossly enlarged in comparison with the LA. The tricuspid valves is normal with mild~mod amount of tricuspid regurgitation. The tricuspid regurgitant gradient is elevated at 42mmHg of mercury suggesting mild~mod pulmonary hypertension.
7) The right ventricle is normal in systolic motion and in gross dimensions. The RVFW is however upper limits of normal @ subjectively 8mm showing questionable increased afterload of pulmonary pressures..
8) THere is no obvious pericardial effusion.

These finding are consistent with a selfinvolved alcoholic of late twenties. His PA pressures are indeed elevated suggestive of a backup of alcohol induced hypertension secondary to a moderate mitral regurgitation. This at this point should not be viewed as a surgical need as proper behavior modification can be made to negate open heart valve replacement.
The subject is also at risk of poor prognosis of open heart surgery due to health and lifestyle and at this point, the surgery is not approved.

 

[Raina]

My thought is next time you're going to put out that many PMs with tasteless comments involving me, ask so I can say no.

 

[777-9311]

EF is full of bitches who THINK they are muscular because you guys told them they are. Guy's try your luck with real women not cyber bitches it's a lot more fun. That way instead of jacking to some broads picture that she took of herself because she has no real friends to take a pic for her....you can have a real person in front of you to jack your business for you or hell you can even fuck her or make love to her. I'm not into cyber pussy, they are never the age they tell you or the weight LOL!

there are hot chicks EVERYWHERE man! Many of our female posters are gorgeous... awesome bodies, and totally cool personalities.. I won't tell you who though, that is your job to figure out.

If you want straight pictures, check out the pictures of women forum, gotmojo and a few others are constantly keeping us stocked with a fresh supply of porn.. everything from amateur softcore.. to kinky hardcore.

 

[Raina]

No that's a lie because I'm actually AAP. Well, he's me. I'm actually his alter. I only exist online.

 

[*MissFit*]

Can we all have dog biscuits please

EF is full of bitches who THINK they are muscular because you guys told them they are. Guy's try your luck with real women not cyber bitches it's a lot more fun. That way instead of jacking to some broads picture that she took of herself because she has no real friends to take a pic for her....you can have a real person in front of you to jack your business for you or hell you can even fuck her or make love to her. I'm not into cyber pussy, they are never the age they tell you or the weight LOL!

 

[BrothaBill]

HAH!! I win, deleted before quotation!! Lestat, youre a monstrosity for spreading those rumors lol

 

[*MissFit*]

hmm interesting hun

HAH!! I win, deleted before quotation!! Lestat, youre a monstrosity for spreading those rumors lol

 

[mrdeeznuts]

Seriously, I don't jack to their galleries.

as the bottle of lotion and box of tissues are sitting right next to him

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

The two tips I like for e-flirting work best over AIM, but I suppose could be conducted via PM.

It's a tried and true trick.

First of all you try to find out what her idea of the best vacation or situation in the world is, like say she likes the beach. Then you vividly paint a word picture for her, of you and her at the beach. Describe the sounds, the salt spray, the sun, find out if she likes pina coladas or beer. Keep teasing out her likes and dislikes and create imaginary situations that would make her feel great. Then she will start to associate feeling great with you. Then BAM you are in. Takes work but worth it.

Second one is paint a vivid word picture of her taking a luxurious bath. perhaps you lead her into the bathroom and there are candles lit and a nice hot bacth waiting for her with lots of bubbles. You rub her neck/shoulders/feet as she luxuriates in the warm water and scents and relaxation. This associates those feeling with you in her mind, and also shows you are willing to take care of her and spoil her to a degree. That you appreciate her.

Basically lavish lots of attention on her, find out what her likes and dislikes are, and remember them well. Incorporate them into the fantasies you write for her.

option 3: centurion card.

 

[eat big]

My thought is next time you're going to put out that many PMs with tasteless comments involving me, ask so I can say no.

 

[pintoca]

lots of horny boys/girls and alters in this thread

 

[hamstershaver]

did i win the 1000?

 

[Lestat]

did i win the 1000?

you're gonna have to do better then that

 

[Megalomaniac]

all this time I thought that I was the only one who e-flirted. Now with lestat's guide everyone will be in on my game. What will I do now?

 

[eat big]

you're gonna have to do better then that

Give it to Raina.