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I agree with Swolio.
Three things that I think seriously sucked about LOTR:
1 - Not enough hardcore lesbian porn scenes. In fact as I recall there weren’t any. The elf queen and that other chick should have been thoroughly investigating each others muff's in a effort to find the ring - which would inevitably left them fucking each other vigorously with a double sided anal dildo. This scene if included could possibly have raised the rating from pg to pg-13 but if would have been well worth it.
2 - There was no army of midgets. They included a army of orc things and fire demons and etc .. but no fleet of disgruntled midgets were ever used. This was a big fault - mary kate & ashly could also have cameos as the lesbian leaders of the midget cult (also leading to a large and vigorous sex scene) - this way since they are child-stars more small kids would be inclined to see the movie.
3 - The main protagonist and antagonists, were cast from matlock and not the Olympia. Nobody wants to sit in the theater for 4 hours and see two geriatric geezers throw sticks and there fiber supplements at each other, instead the top bodybuilders could be cast as evil wizards, ronnie and gunter. With a stuttering mastery of the english language they challenge each other to posedown at every moment possible, and finally end with gunters epic fight against ronnies raging gh gut.
Three things that I think seriously sucked about LOTR:
1 - Not enough hardcore lesbian porn scenes. In fact as I recall there weren’t any. The elf queen and that other chick should have been thoroughly investigating each others muff's in a effort to find the ring - which would inevitably left them fucking each other vigorously with a double sided anal dildo. This scene if included could possibly have raised the rating from pg to pg-13 but if would have been well worth it.
2 - There was no army of midgets. They included a army of orc things and fire demons and etc .. but no fleet of disgruntled midgets were ever used. This was a big fault - mary kate & ashly could also have cameos as the lesbian leaders of the midget cult (also leading to a large and vigorous sex scene) - this way since they are child-stars more small kids would be inclined to see the movie.
3 - The main protagonist and antagonists, were cast from matlock and not the Olympia. Nobody wants to sit in the theater for 4 hours and see two geriatric geezers throw sticks and there fiber supplements at each other, instead the top bodybuilders could be cast as evil wizards, ronnie and gunter. With a stuttering mastery of the english language they challenge each other to posedown at every moment possible, and finally end with gunters epic fight against ronnies raging gh gut.
