Jokes for ya

[Spindarella]

A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the
older three had red hair, light skin and were tall, while the youngest
son had black hair, dark eyes and was short.

The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed when
he turned to his wife and said, ''Honey, before I die, be totally honest

with me -- is our youngest son my child?''

The wife replied, ''I swear on everything that is holy that he is your
son.''

With that the husband passed away. The wife then muttered, ''Thank God
he
didn't ask about the other three.''






There was an old guy wandering around the supermarket calling out,
"Crisco, Crissscccoooo!"
Finally a store clerk approached.
"Sir, the Crisco is in aisle five."
"Oh," replied the old gentleman, "I'm not looking for cooking Crisco, I am
calling my wife."

"Your wife is named "Crisco?"
"Nah," he answered, "I only call her that when we're out in public."

"Oh? What do you call her when you are at home?"
"Lard ass."