Joke good enough to post...

[superqt4u2nv]

One of the guys I work with sent me this!



When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.
Everythingvc was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but, directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.























I am now older and wiser, and am looking for a girl with big tits.

 

[Cut]

Ba dum bum tssh.

 

[from zero]

Nice quote job bor!!

 

[hamstershaver]

I am now older and wiser, and am looking for a girl with big tits.

best advice ever

 

[CipherLock]

I loved this joke when someone else posted it b4, what made it funnier was that it was a guy, and it read like it was a real post.

 

[jerkbox]

i think wodin posted this a while back

 

[superqt4u2nv]

Last joke I post

 

[Deterass]

Last joke I post

good

 

[sh4dowf4lcon]

Last joke I post

TY

 

[anthrax]

I am afraid it is so true

 

[Island Son]

Another oldie..

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists...2 men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. "Kill her!!!" The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband.

She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman.She wiped the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks", she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

Moral: Women are evil. Don't mess with them.

 

[Barak]

I didn't know you had met my Ex

 

[Code]

Niec jok brloly!

 

[theoak01]

here is a blonde joke its funny shit,heard it on the radio the other day

A truck drive is driving down the road and comes to a stop at a red light when a knock is at his door, he opens it to see a blonde standing there , she says Hi my name is heather I just wanted to tell you your losing part of your load.

annoyed the driver closes his door and continues on to the next light, sure enough a knock on the door, he rolls down his window and she says. hi my name is heather and your losing part of your load, annoyed again he rolls up the window and speeds off to the next light. gets out of the truck walks back to the womens car and knocks on the window. she rolls it down, can I help you she says? Hi my name is Dave,its winter in canada and I drive the salt truck

 

[JOKER47]

Here's a few one-liners from one of my favorite comedians:

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

 

[Deterass]

here is a blonde joke its funny shit,heard it on the radio the other day

A truck drive is driving down the road and comes to a stop at a red light when a knock is at his door, he opens it to see a blonde standing there , she says Hi my name is heather I just wanted to tell you your losing part of your load.

annoyed the driver closes his door and continues on to the next light, sure enough a knock on the door, he rolls down his window and she says. hi my name is heather and your losing part of your load, annoyed again he rolls up the window and speeds off to the next light. gets out of the truck walks back to the womens car and knocks on the window. she rolls it down, can I help you she says? Hi my name is Dave,its winter in canada and I drive the salt truck

SUCKED!

 

[superqt4u2nv]

So have these other peoples jokes save my thread?

 

[from zero]

So have these other peoples jokes save my thread?

No. This thread has gotten worse.

 

[theoak01]

SUCKED!

your from tenesse your vote doesnt count as you wouldnt have the means to get a visual

 

[ChefWide]

Why do blonds only get a half hour for lunch?


























So they dont have to be retrained.

 

[Deterass]

your from tenesse your vote doesnt count as you wouldnt have the means to get a visual

Ok fatty

 

[theoak01]

I was just joking,no need to get all shirty my man

 

[Dial_tone]

Blind man walks into a bar with a seeing eye dog, picks the dog up by the tail and spins him around several times, dog barks for obvious reasons. Guy at the bar says "wtf are you doing spinning that dog like that?". Blind man says "ohh...just lookin around."

I'll be here all week...two shows on Saturday.

 

[ChefWide]

Blind man walks into a bar with a seeing eye dog, picks the dog up by the tail and spins him around several times, dog barks for obvious reasons. Guy at the bar says "wtf are you doing spinning that dog like that?". Blind man says "ohh...just lookin around."

I'll be here all week...two shows on Saturday.

Try the veal!