It's official

[blueta2]

I'm not sure what to make of it to be honest. In a nutshell, my wife asked for separation. I was devastated. I asked her to re-think about it and asked her to give me her word that we will separate for a while but work on ourselves to come back and be together....she said she can't promise me anything. I was very depressed for a few weeks. Almost lost my job, stopped going to work, didn't care about getting out of bed. I found a condo, moved into my own place, bought furniture and did it all in under a week...it was hectic and hard to do by myself...I have no family in Canada....and all my friends were her friends before so everyone just ditched my ass because they blamed me...so here I was, no family, no friends....etc...

After 2 weeks of misery, I start thinking about this with a clear head and decide that even though I love her and want things to work out, we have nothing in common, we don't get along and we're always fighting...we just don't mesh...I called her one month before we were supposed to get together to make a decision and told her it was over. She was devastated...cried for hours, begged me to take her back....I couldnt do it. I said this is best for both of us....I said it breaks my heart but I cant be in a relationship with someone who is not happy with me...we havent had been intimate for a few months and everyone knows what that does to a man. She said she bluffed and didnt really want a divorce...she just wanted me to change. I said this is my life and you can't bluff something like that. I told her I loved her and wished her luck.

We started the divorce and haven't talked since.

I miss her a great deal and love her more than words can say. I'm heartbroken and not ashamed to say I feel like I made a mistake by not taking her back. The mature part of me says that I did what's best for both of us.

On the bright side, my new girlfriend is a beautiful Irish, German, Lebanese woman - 31 yrs old...4 years older than me. She owns a sports bar and she loves me to death. She's already moved in with me. She does my laundry, cooks for me, cleans my condo, does my grocery shopping and I don't even ask her to do it.....and it also helps that we have sex 2-3 times a day...and our sex life is amazing. We have so much in common. I spent Christmas with her family at their house and spent Thanksgiving at their cottage...good times.

I still miss my ex-wife and wonder what she is doing everyday. I cannot help but feel very guilty about how this went down.

WOW!!!!!!

I predict you will be back with the ex wife one day soon!
Rebounds never work, especially when you are still thinking about your ex.
Sounds like it was a battle of the egos. People grow, we change, you two are still young and didn't give it a fighting chance.

In any case, take it day by day

 

[blueta2]

How long were you completely single Traz? sounds like you found someone new to take care of you, first you gotta take care of yourself bro, otherwise you're just hiding from things.

Yep, but most people have a hard time being alone,so they find someone right away and are just as unhappy months later.

 

[blueta2]

That's just it. Traz's thread here is such a non SWV thread, it should be the model of how to do it.

He's divorced and moved on, got a girl cooking for him, cleaning for him, doing his laundry and grocery shopping and giving him great sex 2-3 times a day!

That's how it's done, sir!

Secure people tend to disagree!

 

[blueta2]

I agree with QT and CW on this one!

After my 11 yrs break up and the last ex, I had to go to therapy both times. My therapist said "death is easier than divorce because you can closure quickly. With a divorce, the person is still around and you often wonder what they are doing and who they are with"


I know I will get slack of this, but men have a hard time being alone. They need to be taken care of. My Dad's friend was married to the love of his life for 45 yrs, she passed and he had a new women in his house washing his clothes in less than 3 months. He's still with her
This is all about not being able to process pain and the feelings of loss are SO hard and uncomfortable, so it's just easier to meet someone else and live in denial and keep so busy, you don't have time to hurt.

Traz, it's great you're feeling some happiness with this new girl, but you still love your wife, period!

 

[wootoom]

He totally loves his wife...always will...it's just about moving on and getting past the stages going through a divorce..

 

[ceo]

I agree with QT and CW on this one!

After my 11 yrs break up and the last ex, I had to go to therapy both times. My therapist said "death is easier than divorce because you can closure quickly. With a divorce, the person is still around and you often wonder what they are doing and who they are with"


I know I will get slack of this, but men have a hard time being alone. They need to be taken care of. My Dad's friend was married to the love of his life for 45 yrs, she passed and he had a new women in his house washing his clothes in less than 3 months. He's still with her
This is all about not being able to process pain and the feelings of loss are SO hard and uncomfortable, so it's just easier to meet someone else and live in denial and keep so busy, you don't have time to hurt.

Traz, it's great you're feeling some happiness with this new girl, but you still love your wife, period!

not everyone is the same, honey.

 

[superqt4u2nv]

Yep, but most people have a hard time being alone,so they find someone right away and are just as unhappy months later.

Yep my buddy had two LT back to back when he split from the wife. When the last GF and him broke up I had to sit him down and be like slow down take some me time. He finally did he was single a whole 4 months before getting into his current relationship. LOL that was progress prior to that he'd never been single for more than a month.

 

[ceo]

Yep my buddy had two LT back to back when he split from the wife. When the last GF and him broke up I had to sit him down and be like slow down take some me time. He finally did he was single a whole 4 months before getting into his current relationship. LOL that was progress prior to that he'd never been single for more than a month.

Clearly where he messed up was, he should have just gone out and banged a bunch of different randoms instead of getting into the two LTRs. What a bunch of wasted time!

 

[superqt4u2nv]

Clearly where he messed up was, he should have just gone out and banged a bunch of different randoms instead of getting into the two LTRs. What a bunch of wasted time!

Yeah that was my advice he actually did over his 4 months off not a crazy amount like you could count it on one had but still that was progress.

I actually really like his new girlfriend she's the first one he's had that actually seems to give a shit about him. His passed relationships it was all about there needs chicks didn't seem to give a crap about him.

 

[ceo]

the more he cares about them, the less they care about him.