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Is taint measurement...

  • Thread starter Thread starter Gambino
  • Start date Start date
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Gambino

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...a sign of promiscuity? For example, if your taint region is short, does that mean that the adjoining orficies are, shall we say, blown out?

Does a taint measurement determine character and morality?

What about the taboo subject of male taint...does it exist?
 
string_bean00 said:
Gambino, the greatest philosopher of the 21st century...
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sring, what is your opinion on the above taint questions?
 
Gambino said:
sring, what is your opinion on the above taint questions?
Click to expand...

Originally, without thinking about it, I assumed that the larger the taint measurement, the higher the degree of sluttiness.



But your argument seems very true...that the lower measurements indicate the broad is "blown out", as you say.



The only way to know for sure is to do a study, and we have to find willing subjects with no inhibitions in talking about their sexual past.
 
string_bean00 said:
Originally, without thinking about it, I assumed that the larger the taint measurement, the higher the degree of sluttiness.



But your argument seems very true...that the lower measurements indicate the broad is "blown out", as you say.



The only way to know for sure is to do a study, and we have to find willing subjects with no inhibitions in talking about their sexual past.
Click to expand...

Right we need to do a study. Honesty could be an issues since most girls have been with exactally 3 guys if you ask them.

In all honesty, sex does not really blow out her kitty, however excessive anal can cause some damage to the spinxter. I'm not certain however taht this would effect the size of the taint signifigantly. Also, chidlbirth would probably have a more profound effect on this than other lifestyle factors.

I'm sure taint size is probably genetic, however I am very curious what other correlation we can find with it. Perhaps ti does effect sexual pleasure during anal, and girls with smaller taints might be more willing to participate in anal sex. This could be useful knowledge for men everywhere. This is why we really need to do a study.
 
BodyByFinaplix said:
Right we need to do a study. Honesty could be an issues since most girls have been with exactally 3 guys if you ask them.

In all honesty, sex does not really blow out her kitty, however excessive anal can cause some damage to the spinxter. I'm not certain however taht this would effect the size of the taint signifigantly. Also, chidlbirth would probably have a more profound effect on this than other lifestyle factors.

I'm sure taint size is probably genetic, however I am very curious what other correlation we can find with it. Perhaps ti does effect sexual pleasure during anal, and girls with smaller taints might be more willing to participate in anal sex. This could be useful knowledge for men everywhere. This is why we really need to do a study.
Click to expand...


Thorough preliminary anaylisis...BBF, I appoint you Field General in the great study of "Taint: The Forgotten Land"
 
Gambino said:
Thorough preliminary anaylisis...BBF, I appoint you Field General in the great study of "Taint: The Forgotten Land"
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Right, well in order to conduct accurate research we need to study one variable at a time, so I propose that we study the correlation, if any, that exist betwen taint measurement and a girl's enjoyment of anal.

I am proposing this subject first, due to the benefit it offers in the real world. Men would benefit greatly from knowing prior to asking, what their odds of their their girl letting them drive down her chocolate highway.

We should start by getting measurements of girls on the extremes. First we need to all get measurements of girls each of us know who are into anal, as well as those who absoutely will not do it because they claim it hurts, and see if there is a pattern. Off hand I have one of each I can ask, but if I gather this data you motherfuckers better be serious about this and produce some also, because I'm giong to feel like an ass asking them for their measurements. I'm totally serious about this btw.
 
BodyByFinaplix said:
Right, well in order to conduct accurate research we need to study one variable at a time, so I propose that we study the correlation, if any, that exist betwen taint measurement and a girl's enjoyment of anal.

I am proposing this subject first, due to the benefit it offers in the real world. Men would benefit greatly from knowing prior to asking, what their odds of their their girl letting them drive down her chocolate highway.

We should start by getting measurements of girls on the extremes. First we need to all get measurements of girls each of us know who are into anal, as well as those who absoutely will not do it because they claim it hurts, and see if there is a pattern. Off hand I have one of each I can ask, but if I gather this data you motherfuckers better be serious about this and produce some also, because I'm giong to feel like an ass asking them for their measurements. I'm totally serious about this btw.
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Do to a committed relationship I am in, I can only gather 1 solid measurement (unfortunatly, zero anal :bawling: )...but this small find is still useful for our study. Since taking a ruler to a taint prior to measurement is a bit tacky and uncouth, we may need to develop an accurate ruler sticker, to be placed indiscreetly somewhere on the hand/finger. I say this 'cause of the undercover nature this study needs to take. The experience of taint measurment may not be pleasureable for our speicmens; causing them to tighten up (thus distorting measurement), or worse yet, flee. We cannot lose speciems, they are precious, esp. the ones with loose rectums...
 
why not just watch porn...isn't there some website that lists who does anal and stuff? there's gotta be a way to extrapolate the real distances from the props in the background and stuff.
 
SoreArms said:
I think taint is just a part of your anatomy that you have no control over, like the size of your ears.
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That is just your theory until we gather and analyze data and look for correlations.

Gambino, your one measurement would still be helpful to the study. We need to factor in as many as we can get. Every measurement improves the accuratacy of our findings.Hmmm... right we need to be discrete in collecting data.
 
I always heard that for a guy...its where the kitty wouyld have been...lol

differentiating of cells etc
 
BodyByFinaplix said:
Right we need to do a study. Honesty could be an issues since most girls have been with exactally 3 guys if you ask them.
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LMFAO. Young bro, true as shit, but treasure your youth.

Pretty soon most just hand you the fucking phone directory, and cross out those names which aren't applicable, since it's much easier to exclude who they haven't screwed.:)
 
You other guys better be serious about this... I have already droped messages out to a couple girls I know asking if I can get taint measurements. I'm being serious here. One of them is just a friend, but cool about this sort of thing, the other is a former fuck buddy who is trying to get back with me for a fling (I'm trying to skirt around this issue, since i am not interested).
 
BodyByFinaplix said:
You other guys better be serious about this... I have already droped messages out to a couple girls I know asking if I can get taint measurements. I'm being serious here. One of them is just a friend, but cool about this sort of thing, the other is a former fuck buddy who is trying to get back with me for a fling (I'm trying to skirt around this issue, since i am not interested).
Click to expand...


I have to be more coy about getting my specimen's measurements...it will take untill I see her on friday, that is the best I can do...


deteras1 was saying that he had a few dude taint measurements, I said I wasn't interested, I'm sure you're not either...
 
Gambino said:
I have to be more coy about getting my specimen's measurements...it will take untill I see her on friday, that is the best I can do...


deteras1 was saying that he had a few dude taint measurements, I said I wasn't interested, I'm sure you're not either...
Click to expand...

No, I'm really not interested in correlatoinal studies involve the male taint. I'm specializing strictly in female taint statistics. The male taint is irrelevant to our research.
 
I am the offical head of this study. BBF, do to his extensive access to speciems of loose morals, is the offical Field General, in charge of collecting data. I too, well collect speciemen info...hopefully a few others can join the study as Lt. Generals, maybe even progressing to Field General in the future. All in all, we should gather as many speciemens as possible. Then we will process and analyze the data to see if preivous assumptions hold any factual water. We need a few good collectors, please join this study of Taint...open to all members.

To ensure accuracy, the French method must be used... French Method
 
gambino, I have one specimen who said she would try to take her own measurement tonight in the shower for me... she siad if she could not do it accurately she would get some help. She is into anal.
 
nvrbuffenuff_girl said:
How the hell do you accurately measure this?
Click to expand...

you have a very nice ass and I am sure your taint is in excellent condition. To accuratley get a reading, one of our specialists will need visit you and employ the French method in order to acheive accuracy. Since I have the night off and I am a expert at taint measurement, I would be more than glad to assist you...
 
Gambino said:
you have a very nice ass and I am sure your taint is in excellent condition. To accuratley get a reading, one of our specialists will need visit you and employ the French method in order to acheive accuracy. Since I have the night off and I am a expert at taint measurement, I would be more than glad to assist you...
Click to expand...


What is the French method?
 
Gambino said:
you have a very nice ass and I am sure your taint is in excellent condition. To accuratley get a reading, one of our specialists will need visit you and employ the French method in order to acheive accuracy. Since I have the night off and I am a expert at taint measurement, I would be more than glad to assist you...
Click to expand...

gambino she is the one who said she would try it herself first. Nvr is a friend of mine.
 
Guys, I have an opportunity with a valued specimen. I wonder what the condition of the taint is on a 31-year-old mother...her opinion on anal is unknown at this time.



Not sure if I'm comfortable enough with her to ask her to measure her taint for me though...
 
string_bean00 said:
Guys, I have an opportunity with a valued specimen. I wonder what the condition of the taint is on a 31-year-old mother...her opinion on anal is unknown at this time.



Not sure if I'm comfortable enough with her to ask her to measure her taint for me though...
Click to expand...


Excellent work!! But you are far from done...do not scare your specimen, they tend to frighten easily...slowly approach the issue like you would approach a white tail in n. michigan...when you are pleasing her orally, take the measurement w/o her knowing...use your hand and mark the distance on your palm with a ink pen that you stashed. Inquire later if you can hit the dirt road, if she says yes we assume it wasn't her first. Report info to BBF
 
Gambino said:
Excellent work!! But you are far from done...do not scare your specimen, they tend to frighten easily...slowly approach the issue like you would approach a white tail in n. michigan...when you are pleasing her orally, take the measurement w/o her knowing...use your hand and mark the distance on your palm with a ink pen that you stashed. Inquire later if you can hit the dirt road, if she says yes we assume it wasn't her first. Report info to BBF
Click to expand...

Excellent. The hand and marking idea actually came to me.



Oh btw, do I get some type of title for this research? :)
 
string_bean00 said:
Excellent. The hand and marking idea actually came to me.



Oh btw, do I get some type of title for this research? :)
Click to expand...

Until you report back with solid info you are merely a Private Taint Taker, or PTT. Advancement is rapid and after a few consistent meaurements, you may be promoted to BBF's assitant, duties yet to be est. It it essential that the French method is used prior to measurement.
 
BodyByFinaplix said:
Sorry, nvr. When were you giogn to do it then? LoL
Click to expand...

I said I'd attempt to do this after I showered tonight. I really don't know what the hell am doing, to be honest. I said, if I couldn't do it myself then next week I'd convince my boyfriend to measure for me.
 
Gambino said:
Until you report back with solid info you are merely a Private Taint Taker, or PTT. Advancement is rapid and after a few consistent meaurements, you may be promoted to BBF's assitant, duties yet to be est. It it essential that the French method is used prior to measurement.
Click to expand...

I can live with PTT for right now. I will see her tomorrow night, so hopefully I can come up with something solid.
 
Ok, we have one very pro-anal for 1.5" exactally. First stat.
 
BodyByFinaplix said:
Ok, we have one very pro-anal for 1.5" exactally. First stat.
Click to expand...

Excellent work BBF but we also need accomanying info, to ensure accuracy and what not...I just sent you a email, I believe those questions need to be asked of all speciemens...
 
1. Do you participate in anal sex? (this may include the use of a dildo or other such device)

2. How many times have you given birth?

3. How many sexual partners have you had?

4. What is your age?

5. Do you wash your taint daily?

6. Have you ever tore your rectum or vagina?

Answers for speciman #1.
1. YES! I LOVE ANAL!
2. ZERO
3. Do I count just males or both males and females since I am openly bi? Either way here you go. TWO MALES, THREE FEMALES
4. 21.79 yrs. old
5.YES
6. NEVER
 
I thought the men's version of the "taint" was called the gooch??
 
nvrbuffenuff_girl said:
4. 21.79 yrs. old
Click to expand...
HAY! No rounding!....LOL. Don't think you have to worry about
"loss of precision" with this thread.....;)
 
Gambino said:
rnch, this is a scientific study, not juvenile jerk off material...
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yeah, right.......save THAT line for the gals.... :rolleyes:
 
I think its bullshit that Gambino gets to be the official measurer just because he was clever enough to have thought of it first.

I think there should be a corrupt process to fill that position, filled with bribes, blackmail, and intimidation.

For example, it would unfortunate if certain photos were to fall in the hands of a young religious girl who might look askance at her future boyfriend posting nude shots of himself on an internet site. I might not saying I would send them myself, only that accidents happen, things get broken, and photos are sometimes misplaced.
 
UPDATE

JerseyFart has applied for and been accepted as Deteras1's secretary


How the team is rounding up so far


Gambino Head of it all, visionary...doesn't tolerate mistakes or laziness.

BBf Field General, in charge of collection...aggressive and ruthless in his collection duties, will stop at nothing to secure accuracy.

String BBF's first recruit,a field collector, or PTT...he reports directly to BBF. He hopes to one day over throw BBF

Juicedpigtails Undercover PTT Dedicated to the cause

Male Division

Deteras1 Field General, in charge of male collection...enjoys male taint without remorse

JerseyFart Secretary, manages Deteras's work load

Hopefully Tivverx and Freeballin will sigh up...
 
Last edited:
Gambino said:
UPDATE

JerseyFart has applied for and been accepted as Deteras1's secretary


How the team is rounding up so far


Gambino Head of it all, visionary...doesn't tolerate mistakes or laziness.

BBf Field General, in charge of collection...aggressive and ruthless in his collection duties, will stop at nothing to secure accuracy.

String BBF's first recruit,a field collector, or PTT...he reports directly to BBF. He hopes to one day over throw BBF

Male Division

Deteras1 Field General, in charge of male collection...enjoys male taint without remorse

JerseyFart Secretary, manages Deteras's work load

Hopefully Tivverx and Freeballin will sigh up...
Click to expand...

Hahahahahaahahah, the Male Division has me laughing my ass off.
 
ChewYxRage said:
Very interesting.

not sure how I missed this thread but the seriousness of it is hilarious
Click to expand...

You should not laugh at this so lightly. Men everywhere need this information. It could be the key to predicting their odds of driving down their girl's dirt road.
 
Specimin #2 requested that I conduct the french method in person. So might take some time. SHe may get assigned a new number. Any other data collectors have measurements complete with the questionair complete yet? If so please send them my way for filing and assortment. Thank you.
 
BodyByFinaplix said:
Specimin #2 requested that I conduct the french method in person. So might take some time. SHe may get assigned a new number. Any other data collectors have measurements complete with the questionair complete yet? If so please send them my way for filing and assortment. Thank you.
Click to expand...

If all goes well I'll have a measurement at some point on Thursday...as I'll see her tomorrow night.



Unfortunately, it might be the time of the red tide, so I'm not sure if an opportunity will show itself.
 
string_bean00 said:
Unfortunately, it might be the time of the red tide, so I'm not sure if an opportunity will show itself.
Click to expand...


stern voice Well son, you just may have to fiord that red tide...that is a PTT's duty, to collect specimin regardless of inconvience.
 
Gambino said:
stern voice Well son, you just may have to fiord that red tide...that is a PTT's duty, to collect specimin regardless of inconvience.
Click to expand...

Right, we have to make minor sacrifices sometimes in the pursuit of truth as a scientist. I myself will have to take specimen #2's measurement and try to avoid the attention of my new girl who I may be in a committed relationship with at the time of said measurement with this other speciment.
 
BodyByFinaplix said:
Right, we have to make minor sacrifices sometimes in the pursuit of truth as a scientist. I myself will have to take specimen #2's measurement and try to avoid the attention of my new girl who I may be in a committed relationship with at the time of said measurement with this other speciment.
Click to expand...

I'm honored to work with men of such dedication.



You inspire me to conquer the red tide!
 
I propose that you guys sneak a pair of dial calipers into your research subjects. One end of the caliper will go into one hole, the other in the other hole and then take that measurement. This method would be the most accurate. Besides, if she asks just say its a sex toy.

Be sure to clean the calipers too, dont want contamination
 
pigtails, complete the questions posted, get her measurement and sent to me please, so it can be calculated into our research for the benefit of men everywhere.
 
juicedpigtails said:
hey i posted a picture of my gf's taint for all to see. Paulo and Jerkbox both saw it, then i took it down
Click to expand...


Loud, angry voice while standing and pointing index finger Son, how in the hollerin' hell is this gonna help our study? *pauses to catch breath and regain compsure*

Sorry for the outburst, it has been a long day of scientific review...we need physical measurements and a questionaire completed...heresay of taint that was posted serves no purpose other than to massage your ego. Please present us with concrete facts of taint, not sightings or second hand stories.
 
Gambino said:
Loud, angry voice while standing and pointing index finger Son, how in the hollerin' hell is this gonna help our study? *pauses to catch breath and regain compsure*

Sorry for the outburst, it has been a long day of scientific review...we need physical measurements and a questionaire completed...heresay of taint that was posted serves no purpose other than to massage your ego. Please present us with concrete facts of taint, not sightings or second hand stories.
Click to expand...

give me 24 hours. im at work right now. it will come via pm. dont post it on here either.
 
juicedpigtails said:
give me 24 hours. im at work right now. it will come via pm. dont post it on here either.
Click to expand...

Excellent...report info via BBF, Field General of Operations. Give him specfic instructions and it will remain annoyumous

You also recieve the title of PTT (Private Taint Taker)
 
Gambino said:
Excellent...report info via BBF, Field General of Operations. Give him specfic instructions and it will remain annoyumous

You also recieve the title of PTT (Private Taint Taker)
Click to expand...

no, i want TTD total - taint - destroyer.
 
juicedpigtails said:
no, i want TTD total - taint - destroyer.
Click to expand...

Fine but keep in my mind the object is to study taint not sleigh or destroy it
 
i'd like to see nvrbuffenuf's measurements.. even if her boyfriend has to do it;.. I'm getting half an inch or less.
 
Lestat said:
i'd like to see nvrbuffenuf's measurements.. even if her boyfriend has to do it;.. I'm getting half an inch or less.
Click to expand...
I think hers was the 1.5"

I thought I would have a measurement for you guys tonight, but that fell through. Then the ex called and I thought I still had a chance, but alas, alone I sleep!

I'll keep searching for taint specimens.
 
when all you horny, sexually frustrated, juvenille, pimply faced, left hand typing mouth breathers are measuring "taints" and "gooches", are you making an allowance for the size of your computer monitor?


"internet sex is better than NO sex"---mah broly


lol
 
Last edited:
rnch said:
when all you horny, sexually frustrated, juvenille, pimply faced, left hand typing mouth breathers are measuring "taints" and "gooches", are you making an allowance for the size of your computer monitor?


"internet sex is better than NO sex"---mah broly


lol
Click to expand...


We only accept live mearurements...
 
I was completely and utterly unsuccesful in my acquiration of a measurement last night.



The red tide foiled me...she was having nothing to do with any sexual matters.
 
No, you guys better get on the ball collecting measuerments. We will post up the results in a new thread later. You aren't backing down now. Fuck you. I have beenhard at work, and am not about to let my research efforts go down the drain.
 
string_bean00 said:
I was completely and utterly unsuccesful in my acquiration of a measurement last night.



The red tide foiled me...she was having nothing to do with any sexual matters.
Click to expand...


Postivie son, think positive...another opportunity will present itself.
 
Gambino said:
Postivie son, think positive...another opportunity will present itself.
Click to expand...

This is true. I go to her place just about every Wednesday night, so another red tide free opportunity is on its way.
 
string_bean00 said:
This is true. I go to her place just about every Wednesday night, so another red tide free opportunity is on its way.
Click to expand...

I'm thinking about joining the Detroit Carpenters Union...
 
Gambino said:
I'm thinking about joining the Detroit Carpenters Union...
Click to expand...

I'm confused here. Pardon my ignorance.



Is there actually a Detroit Carpenter's Union or are you talking about muff diving on a chick that doesn't shave?
 
string_bean00 said:
I'm confused here. Pardon my ignorance.



Is there actually a Detroit Carpenter's Union or are you talking about muff diving on a chick that doesn't shave?
Click to expand...


Nope, their actually is a union, I have a job if I want it, pay is around 38 a hour...
 
This reminds me of "Mr. Show with Bob and David" and HBO series.

they did a take-off of the larry flynt story only all about taints and Taint magazine.

good times.
 
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