Is flirting cheating?

[jerseyart]

I'm curious as to what other people sincerely think on the topic.

In a relationship, what are the boundaries? Is fliring on the internet with anonymous strangers cheating? Would it bother you if your spouse or significant other were doing so, and up to what point?

In real life what are the boundaries. Is sex talk taboo, or is the boundary less than or greater?

Finally, how much of a say would you give the other person in your behavior. Along the lines of it bothers them, where it might bother someone else. Do you chabge, ro continue to do what you wish.

 

[V-Machine]

Well flirting is cheating at about the same level as the guy who got the blowjob without knowing it in another thread.

Would I let somebody change me?........depends what they want to change.

 

[jerseyart]

V machine

I don't know. All kidding aside, actual sexual contact has to be measured on a different level than verbal, and or possible emotional, interaction.

 

[V-Machine]

V machine

I don't know. All kidding aside, actual sexual contact has to be measured on a different level than verbal, and or possible emotional, interaction.

I would agree. However, the recipient in the other thread didnt know what was going on and he did try to stop the woman in the act.

Flirting is ok, what happened to that guy was ok. Neither situation is wrong.

 

[jerseyart]

v machine

Not to get sidetracked . It definitely wasn't ok. I doubt to many of us wouldbe "ok" with our ladies telling us she balled some dude because she thought it was us. Let's be real. It is a f'ed up thing with extenuating circumstances. It's also f'ed up to do that to someone, man or woman, who's inebriated. A lot of women have some f'ed up notions of what is acceptbale to do to a guy, that men would rightfully be in jail for doing themselves

 

[V-Machine]

v machine

Not to get sidetracked . It definitely wasn't ok. I doubt to many of us wouldbe "ok" with our ladies telling us she balled some dude because she thought it was us. Let's be real. It is a f'ed up thing with extenuating circumstances. It's also f'ed up to do that to someone, man or woman, who's inebriated. A lot of women have some f'ed up notions of what is acceptbale to do to a guy, that men would rightfully be in jail for doing themselves

Ok it wasnt ok for the woman to do what she did. But from the blokes point of view it was ok. I guess I didnt make myself clear.

Ok back to the original question.............

 

[V-Machine]

If I caught my woman flirting with another man then I would most likely get rid of her. That's just plain disrespectful.

 

[jerseyart]

V machine; My thoughts on the guy is he is responsible for controlling his shit. Maybe he didnt know about the chick, but he shouldn't have been in that position. That would be my same thinking if it were someone I was seeing. It is almost as bad as cheating. If he's a kid, hey it happens. If he is an adult and that happens, that's unacceptable. If my girl were getting so trashed that she didnt know who she was fucking, she's history.


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Even on the internet?

 

[V-Machine]

I wouldnt have a gf who got that wasted either. But if somebody chooses to associate with somebody like that and stuff happens then I dont think they can claim it as cheating.

V machine; My thoughts on the guy is he is responsible for controlling his shit. Maybe he didnt know about the chick, but he shouldn't have been in that position. That would be my same thinking if it were someone I was seeing. It is almost as bad as cheating. If he's a kid, hey it happens. If he is an adult and that happens, that's unacceptable. If my girl were getting so trashed that she didnt know who she was fucking, she's history.


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Even on the internet?

 

[KillahBee]

I don't really consider it cheating, but if my girl feels the need to flirt, then she is just a needy attention whore that is worthless to me. I don't care if I know she doesn't care about the guys she flirts with or the fact that we both know she's coming home with me. Grow up.

 

[gonelifting]

I don`t like it and my woman knows it. I get turned off if the woman I`m with flirts or cheats. It may get some men jealous or whatever, but I`m the opposite, I want to run from the situation and you`ll never see me again.

 

[jerseyart]

I don`t like it and my woman knows it. I get turned off if the woman I`m with flirts or cheats. It may get some men jealous or whatever, but I`m the opposite, I want to run from the situation and you`ll never see me again.

I'm the same way with things that bother me. I don't get angry, I just walk. And it could be something stupid, like I recall one time I was in a club with a girl and some guy she knew came up to her and said Hi. She didnt introduce me as her bf, or introduce me to him. That bothered me, and I took it as being indicative of what the rest of the relationship would be like with that chick. But I'm very sensitive, and people need to understand that about me.

 

[gonelifting]

I'm the same way with things that bother me. I don't get angry, I just walk. And it could be something stupid, like I recall one time I was in a club with a girl and some guy she knew came up to her and said Hi. She didnt introduce me as her bf, or introduce me to him. That bothered me, and I took it as being indicative of what the rest of the relationship would be like with that chick. But I'm very sensitive, and people need to understand that about me.

Yeah I`m very sensitive as well but the people I`m with and close to, get to know that about me. If you`re with someone, hopefully they`ll know that.

 

[jerseyart]

That's what made me think to ask this question. because I don't think I'm always right, just that I try to be fair (translated: don't ask anything that I don't do myself).

So I'm seeing someone new, and we are talking on the phone while I'm running some errands. I'm naturally pretty flirtatious with women, and always have been. And I realize afterwards that some of the things she heard during the exchanges might have bothered her. I was just oblivious to it at the time, but then I thought about it, and realized it would likely bother me. I asked her and she says it doesnt bug her, teased me about it, and seems genuinely non plussed with it all. I believe her. And I do have limits, its more harmelss flirtation.

 

[gonelifting]

It`s different with guys and girls. I won`t get into it now. Please don`t take it the wrong way.

 

[jerseyart]

LOL

F you

 

[Smurfy]

I think it's important to behave in a manner than is respectful of yourself and of your significant other. Now, if you cant figure that out, then you're just plain special.

 

[Gambino]

right or wrong, I view consistent flirting as a breach...flirting, in most cases, is a precursor to future sex, however long that may be...

 

[jerseyart]

Are the standards of what is acceptable different for men and women? No bull shit canned responses. What do you really think

 

[Gambino]

Are the standards of what is acceptable different for men and women? No bull shit canned responses. What do you really think

yes but it works both ways...in some situations, I think it may be acceptable for a woman but not for a man and vice-versa...

 

[gonelifting]

Are the standards of what is acceptable different for men and women? No bull shit canned responses. What do you really think

I told my girlfriend/now wife, along time ago, what you think of innocent flirting and being nice may be the other guy`s "I`m halfway in her pants." frame of mind.

 

[jerseyart]

GL,

There is a difference, although for practical purposes I'm not certain how far it can be enforced. It's not fair, but people do judge each others actions by different standards.

It took me a while to learn don't have lunch alone with female colleagues. The office rumors are unreal. I actually got pulled into the VP's office at 25 to caution me about my "office romances." I was like WTF, I wasn't dating anyone from work. But according to everyone else I was dating several, just because we were friendly.

I know things that would piss me off would include

(1) Too flirty with friends/acquaintances. Even if nothing happened, guys think it could, and it would make me feel foolish. Especially with guys, because there is always a jockeying for alpha male.

I actually felt really bad a few months back when I inadvertantly was doing it to the brother of my sister n law. He had his girl over,, and when we are alone, me and my brother always bust his chops good naturedly. He's much smaller than we are, so we kid with him, but he knows its all in fun.

But he had his girl over and in retrospect I think it made him look bad in front of her, because he isnt very bright nad can't hit back as well verbally. I even said some things that you would say complimentary to a girl, the way you kid a friend. Along the lines of "your much too pretty for him...."

Three days later they broke up, and he still doesn't know why. But I think that may have pushed her a little. I noticed at the time she was smiling and blushing, and I was giving her a little of a "yeah, you know what Im talking about" look, but just in fun.

 

[rnch]

here in the deep south, subtle flirting is considered an art form, much employed and appreciated.

since you are from "uuuuu joisai", 'm sure you know nothing about sublety or polite flirting.




















j/k

 

[jerseyart]

here in the deep south, subtle flirting is considered an art form, much employed and appreciated.

since you are from "uuuuu joisai", 'm sure you know nothing about sublety or polite flirting.

Moms and sisters don't count butt monkey

 

[rnch]

Moms and sisters don't count butt monkey

they are the only dates you will ever get, scrotum likker!

 

[Yarg!]

flirting in itself isnt cheating, but its annoying as fuck. it also signifies a lack of commitment from your partner , and it can be a foreshadowing of cheating to come.

 

[jerseyart]

they are the only dates you will ever get, scrotum likker!

Liar. I've already gone through all of the females in your immediate family. I'm working on second and third cousins at this point. Your mom and sis' were just a start

 

[Testosterone boy]

Being bothered by "flirting" is a show of insecurity.

If men and women converse with one another, it is called "flirting."


Just because two peole are dating does not mean that all communication with the opposite sex should be cut off.


In an ideal world of course.


However...........if it bothers a member of the party then a courteous approach would be to talk when they are not watching.


But to expect someone to quit talking because of dating? Does not make sense to me.

 

[rnch]

Liar. I've already gone through all of the females in your immediate family. I'm working on second and third cousins at this point. Your mom and sis' were just a start

but hitting on my brothers was below the belt (no pun intended)

 

[gonelifting]

Being bothered by "flirting" is a show of insecurity.

If men and women converse with one another, it is called "flirting."


Just because two peole are dating does not mean that all communication with the opposite sex should be cut off.


In an ideal world of course.


However...........if it bothers a member of the party then a courteous approach would be to talk when they are not watching.


But to expect someone to quit talking because of dating? Does not make sense to me.

I totally understand this and in a perfect world, it would be true, but how does one know when they`re talking/flirting to a "normal" person? Men can take a simple "hello" or a smile as a pickup line, let alone a flirtatous conversation. Then you have these guys thinking and sometimes ACTING on false information, not because the woman did wrong, but because the man THOUGHT wrong.

This is not to say women should`nt talk or flirt but they have to know where it might lead. That`s what I was trying to convey to my girlfriend.

 

[wutangnomo]

Tough question to answer. Everyone has their own opinion as to what flirting is. Flirting is also perceived differently, both on a gender level and on an individual level. My opinion is that flirting becomes cheating when a romantic and/or sexual connection is formed in an emotional, mental, and/or physical manner with someone other than one's partner.

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

I would think any sexual contact, physical or otherwise that you wouldn't do around your SO would be considered cheating.

 

[toga22]

I really think it is hard to have a close relationship between a man and a women, even on a "just friends" level, that flirting does not happen at some point or another. And I don't think it is alway intentional either...it is just one of those things that happen when you have a close friendship with a person from the opposite sex. When I am out with my S.O. I include him in all of my conversations, and introduce him to everyone I know. I keep any flirting to a minimum, but I do not change my personality just because he is around. And I guess I expect the same out of him... I don't get jealous of his relationships with other women, and I would hope that he feels comfortable enough with me and our relationship that he doesn't have to hide "his true self" from me, in order to save feelings. And in the event that another woman begins flirting with him I view it this way...he is a good looking, successful, charming guy... She sees what I see...that is why she is flirting. If he is the man I believe him to be he won't let it go to far; and if he isn't...well then it wasn't meant to be...

 

[Robert Jan]

Depends how you define cheating of course.

to me. no kiss, no sex = no cheat

 

[velvett]

I think being flirtatious is not the same as continuous flirting and suggestive (possibleto be taken) actions with the person or persons.

 

[MissJanet79]

I think it's important to behave in a manner than is respectful of yourself and of your significant other. Now, if you cant figure that out, then you're just plain special.

I agree w/ Smurfy... sometimes even those "meaningless" flirtations (whether on the 'net or not), can lead to emotional affairs which is cheating. B/c it's not all about the physcial aspect, if you share something intimate w/ someone on an emotional or physical level, then it's cheating. In my book anyway...

 

[MissJanet79]

^^
What I said! LOL

 

[Dial_tone]

I agree w/ Smurfy... sometimes even those "meaningless" flirtations (whether on the 'net or not), can lead to emotional affairs which is cheating. B/c it's not all about the physcial aspect, if you share something intimate w/ someone on an emotional or physical level, then it's cheating. In my book anyway...

rats.....on to Plan B.