Im an incredible match maker

[jerseyart]

All I wanted was a cup of coffee and a bag of Doritos.

The coffee went fine. Thank God for drive throughs.

Run into the 7/11 for some doritos and a slurpy, cause Im cutting, and the second I get in I can hear the shrill voice of this she devil piercing my ear drums. I havent slept, am in a bad mood, and shes decided to add some "atmosphere" to the place by complaining/yelling incessantly at her bf/husband/male hostage.

They're in line in front of me as Im waiting to pay for my chips, Im debating whether or not to leave a $5 for the 99 cents of chips when finally he tells her "Shut up, just shut the fuck up"

Thank you, a collective sigh of relief escapes every throat in the place.

She's not done. "What are you going to do, make me shut up. Are you going to hit me, I dare you to hit me in front of all these people......(looks at me) he's a loser (meaning guy shes with, for once a woman wasnt referring to me).

Resists the urge.....must....resist...the...urge!!! (no good)

Me: " I'll hold her if you want to rap her one in the mouth"

Now they're a couple again, and the new thing they have in common is hatred of me. I left the $5 for the chips and left

I am Cupid

 

[awittyusername]

I think you should pitch the Idea of you hosting your own matchmaking tv show to The Lifetime Network.

 

[jerseyart]

I think you should pitch the Idea of you hosting your own matchmaking tv show to The Lifetime Network.

It's a gift

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

I could see that. You got some Dr Phil'ness to you

 

[H_T_]

Lifetime: It's not just for women, you know.

 

[Buddy_Christ]

you were about to get your ass kicked by a chick again, weren't you?