im a worthless POS

[Sub-Zero]

i ran out of lotion so i stole my moms to jerk off with

 

[broley]

this is where weird-ass fetishes come from.

 

[stilleto]

i ran out of lotion so i stole my moms to jerk off with

pics?

 

[swole]

i ran out of lotion so i stole my moms to jerk off with

i've done worse in my day

what's the most creative way you got your rocks off?

 

[HiDnGoD]

She knows, man. That's why she buys that kind. Look for the hidden camera's

 

[Sub-Zero]

i've done worse in my day

what's the most creative way you got your rocks off?

just standard jerk, but when i first started in like 7th or 8th grade i didnt know to use the tissue method yet, so id be jerkin it and see where it lands.

one day it hit me in the face. never again.

 

[Sassy69]

just standard jerk, but when i first started in like 7th or 8th grade i didnt know to use the tissue method yet, so id be jerkin it and see where it lands.

one day it hit me in the face. never again.

lol. If I ever have kids I think I want all boys -- you guys are just too funny in the life lessons you learn....

 

[eat big]

just standard jerk, but when i first started in like 7th or 8th grade i didnt know to use the tissue method yet, so id be jerkin it and see where it lands.

one day it hit me in the face. never again.

I have the best method in the world. I just use a Solo Cup to put it in. I stand up from the chair with my pants around my ankels and let it rip. Well, twice I haven't stood up in time. I hit myself in the neck one time while I was slunched over reaching for the cup while standing up. The other time I had the cup in my hand and I didn't get the cup in time and it went all over my desk and keyboard.

 

[stilleto]

I have the best method in the world. I just use a Solo Cup to put it in. I stand up from the chair with my pants around my ankels and let it rip. Well, twice I haven't stood up in time. I hit myself in the neck one time while I was slunched over reaching for the cup while standing up. The other time I had the cup in my hand and I didn't get the cup in time and it went all over my desk and keyboard.

note to self: never borrow eat big's computer.

 

[dullboy]

that's hot.

 

[Behemoth]

pics?

Dear god...no pics...please...mental images have caused enough emotional scarring....

 

[eat big]

note to self: never borrow eat big's computer.

I've gotten a new keyboard since then.

 

[cmdubs]

one lonely evening when I lived with my parents I ran out of lube and started digging in the bathroom for some lotion. my mom had some so I stole it went to my room and proceeded with business. a couple minutes into it I knew something wasn't right. of course it didn't have the usual feel of my preferred lube of choice but there was more to it than that. it actually started to feel more like icy hot than lotion. it just got hotter and hotter. I looked at the bottle and fuck it was cinnamon lotion. I had to wash my penis off in the sink that night.

 

[Cutiebaby]

lmao.

 

[GoldenDelicious]

you arent worthless, sublime! dont be so hard on yourself!

...ill give you $20 for your ass