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dballer
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If Dear Abby Were a Man
Dear Mr. Abby:
>Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me. What do
you
>think I should do?
>
>A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there
is
>only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best
friend.
>Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not
get
>some of your old collage roommates involved too? If you are still
>apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without
you. If
>you're still not sure then just perform oral on him and cook him a
nice
meal
>while you think about it.
>
>
>
>*********************************
>
>Dear Mr. Abby:
>
>Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him. What
should I
>do?
>
>A: Do it. Sperm can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to
your
>skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform
oral
>sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best
thing to
>do is to thank him by performing it twice a day, then cook him a nice
meal.
>
>
>
>*********************************
>
>Dear Mr. Abby:
>
>Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys. Is this
acceptable?
>
>A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The
man
>is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night
out
>chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a
more
>peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your
relationship
>better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to
clean
>the house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he
returns
>to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you
and
>your best friend to perform oral on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
>
>
>
>********************************
>
>Dear Mr. Abby:
>
>Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
>
>A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess
with
it,
>do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish
to
>videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as
a
>birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral on him and
cook him
>a delicious meal.
>
>*******************************
>
>Dear Mr. Abby:
>
>Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay. Should I mention something
to
>him?
>
>A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity
>training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex
should
>be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for
foreplay.
>What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should
- he
>should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so
selfish!
>Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral on him and cook
him a
>nice meal.
>
>
>
>*******************************
>
>Dear Mr. Abby:
>
>Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep
never
>giving me one.
>
>A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to
cook
>him a nice meal.
Dear Mr. Abby:
>Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me. What do
you
>think I should do?
>
>A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there
is
>only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best
friend.
>Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not
get
>some of your old collage roommates involved too? If you are still
>apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without
you. If
>you're still not sure then just perform oral on him and cook him a
nice
meal
>while you think about it.
>
>
>
>*********************************
>
>Dear Mr. Abby:
>
>Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him. What
should I
>do?
>
>A: Do it. Sperm can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to
your
>skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform
oral
>sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best
thing to
>do is to thank him by performing it twice a day, then cook him a nice
meal.
>
>
>
>*********************************
>
>Dear Mr. Abby:
>
>Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys. Is this
acceptable?
>
>A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The
man
>is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night
out
>chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a
more
>peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your
relationship
>better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to
clean
>the house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he
returns
>to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you
and
>your best friend to perform oral on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
>
>
>
>********************************
>
>Dear Mr. Abby:
>
>Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
>
>A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess
with
it,
>do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish
to
>videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as
a
>birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral on him and
cook him
>a delicious meal.
>
>*******************************
>
>Dear Mr. Abby:
>
>Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay. Should I mention something
to
>him?
>
>A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity
>training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex
should
>be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for
foreplay.
>What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should
- he
>should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so
selfish!
>Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral on him and cook
him a
>nice meal.
>
>
>
>*******************************
>
>Dear Mr. Abby:
>
>Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep
never
>giving me one.
>
>A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to
cook
>him a nice meal.
