Went to the gym with a friend years ago so he could put me through one of his "grueling" leg workouts (LOL!)
He's the king of the leg press (1,000 lbs for reps, knees-to-chest), but cries like a HS girl who just got felt up on prom night when anyone even
mentions doing squats. Says they just don't "feel right" to him...no pain or anything, he just doesn't like doing them.
The big pussy.
Anyhow, we go through his warm-ups, then get through his beloved leg presses. I ain't much on leg presses because they bother my knees (dunno why), so I never have gone really heavy on them. Of course, he starts busting my balls `cuz I ain't trying to do 4-digit numbers.
Fine you bitch, let's do some squats.
He balked. Of course. But I
finally managed to talk him into doing some "light" squats.
So where does he head to? The fucking Smith machine! Ugh.
My vehement protests fell on deaf ears...he would have NO PART of doing free weight squats (even though the gym had a nice open squat rack), so I gave in and let him load up the Smith machine. Here's where it gets amusing.
I set the stops on the machine. He looks at them, then looks at me like I've just discovered sliced bread.
He loads up 3 45's on each side and gets under the machine and begins to adjust his stance. Herein lies the problem. His "squatting" stance is
identical to his leg press stance, only in a standing position...feet a good 18" out on front of him!
I tried like hell to get him to re-adjust his stance into proper squat form, but
noooooooooooo, he'd hear nothing of it!
So, he starts to rep out...only problem is, his legs are at such an angle that when he comes up, he's literally pushing the Smith machine
backwards causing it to rock back & forth, banging like hell on the floor at the top of each rep! By the 3rd-4th rep, the entire fucking gym is looking over to see what the commotion is, but he just keeps on banging out reps like there's no tomorrow.
I desperately try to find a place to hide, but I'm stuck behind him in a vain attempt to spot him...just in case.
Well, "just in case" happens. He finishes his last rep and goes to lock the bar at the top. He doesn't quite get the bar locked in and begins to step out from under it. My arms are still at his sides, but there's no way I can cradle his big 260 lb ass
and the damned bar. Yep, you guessed it. He, along with the bar, come crashing down on the stops.
You could'a heard a fucking pin drop in the gym at that moment.
He gets up and shakes it off, acting like nothing happened.
I made up some bullshit excuse about having to leave and vacated the gym in record time. Thank
GOD no one at that gym knew me.
I haven't been back to that gym with him since. He still does leg presses. I still squat. With free weights.
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