I would like another baby...

[roadwarrior]

I've been thinking that my little family is not yet complete and would like another baby. Being that I'm not in a relationship and will be 39 in March, I'm thinking of adopting a baby girl. I've been praying for God to give me a sign and to bring a baby who needs me into my life. We will see.

Anyone here adopted or have adopted children? What are your experiences?

I legally adopted our 4 but they are my wife's from a previous marriage. Do not have the agency experience but I can tell you that my family is the best thing that every happened to me. My children are just that - MY kids. The unconditional love we have for each other trancends any genetics.

I have a friend who adopted 2 special needs children born with addiction and he would tell you the same thing.

S

 

[heatherrae]

Twice the joy, twice the cases of sniffles and everything else (when one gets sick the other does, plus they share the love with every adult within touching distance), twice the expense, twice the time, twice the energy, twice the activities fees, twice the daycare expenses and twice as many kids needing help with homework and projects.

This is a single parent with no reliable support system. Stop encouraging her!

But I'm doing okay financially and have reliable insurance, am stable at work, and at home. Devin has a stable home life. My salary now is very good, and so it is equivalent to 2 parents if they just worked middle class type jobs. I'm not dependant on anyone and have taken out life insurance and arranged for things for dev in case I'm ever in an accident or get sick and die. His life is very happy, and I think I could provide this for 2 kids.

 

[heatherrae]

I legally adopted our 4 but they are my wife's from a previous marriage. Do not have the agency experience but I can tell you that my family is the best thing that every happened to me. My children are just that - MY kids. The unconditional love we have for each other trancends any genetics.

I have a friend who adopted 2 special needs children born with addiction and he would tell you the same thing.

S

sounds lovely.

you are special men.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Musclemom's words are very wise indeed.

Even though I took care of my children and my household alone essentially, I was still married to my ex so the financial aspect of supporting us didn't fall totally on my head alone either.

When I separated/divorced supporting us was a struggle but certainly not all that bad, hell it was the lawyers I couldn't support. LOL

But going back to all the stress of trying to make ends meet and figuring out what comes next.... if it hadn't been for the sheer terror of constant threat of litigation from my ex would it have been that awful? No, but I was STILL STRESSED TO THE MAX.

Musclemom is right. Your son is at a great age - A LOT of fun and a joy (for the most part) to be around but trust both of us when we tell you that it won't last.

My sister wants to literally string her oldest son from a tree these days and he has two parents who are old-school and love the crap out of him and his siblings but still he is becoming quite the little *test of faith*. He will be 12 in March.

 

[heatherrae]

O my gawd. HR, sometimes I just want to shake the hell outa you.

why? to see if pennies fly out of my ears?

 

[txbondsman]

why? to see if pennies fly out of my ears?

it's just sometimes I know now how big brothers must feel when their little sisters say/do some stupid shit. They must be like UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

air slap, air slap, air slap, catch a damn clue woman....

 

[heatherrae]

Musclemom's words are very wise indeed.

Even though I took care of my children and my household alone essentially, I was still married to my ex so the financial aspect of supporting us didn't fall totally on my head alone either.

When I separated/divorced supporting us was a struggle but certainly not all that bad, hell it was the lawyers I couldn't support. LOL

But going back to all the stress of trying to make ends meet and figuring out what comes next.... if it hadn't been for the sheer terror of constant threat of litigation from my ex would it have been that awful? No, but I was STILL STRESSED TO THE MAX.

Musclemom is right. Your son is at a great age - A LOT of fun and a joy (for the most part) to be around but trust both of us when we tell you that it won't last.

My sister wants to literally string her oldest son from a tree these days and he has two parents who are old-school and love the crap out of him and his siblings but still he is becoming quite the little *test of faith*. He will be 12 in March.

Well, there are definite pros and cons. If I just had dev and was done with it, we would have that little bond of it just being the two of us, but I'm not so sure that is even healthy or if I'm going too far sometimes. We are an island unto ourselves. I will say that I make just below 6 figures now, and the cost of living here is cheap. I could afford another child but I could give devin a better life if I only had 1 to provide for. (pay for college and all).

Still, I'm drawn to have a little girl.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Well, there are definite pros and cons. If I just had dev and was done with it, we would have that little bond of it just being the two of us, but I'm not so sure that is even healthy or if I'm going too far sometimes. We are an island unto ourselves. I will say that I make just below 6 figures now, and the cost of living here is cheap. I could afford another child but I could give devin a better life if I only had 1 to provide for. (pay for college and all).

Still, I'm drawn to have a little girl.

I completely understand your feelings.

 

[heatherrae]

it's just sometimes I know now how big brothers must feel when their little sisters say/do some stupid shit. They must be like UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

air slap, air slap, air slap, catch a damn clue woman....

elaborate on why I'm saying something stupid? Dang, I'm being very serious and heartfelt you guys and you make me feel like you all think I'm incapable of being a good mom.

 

[txbondsman]

elaborate on why I'm saying something stupid? Dang, I'm being very serious and heartfelt you guys and you make me feel like you all think I'm incapable of being a good mom.

not at all, not at all, your a wonderful mom. YOUNG mom, one that will eventually find a man and can have a family with him. He may have children too, then yall will have one or two of your own, that comes to 5-6 kids between yall. Yours, mine and ours so to speak.
Being a guy, I know that somewhere in the thought process when it comes to "is she one that i could marry, or isn't she". The number of children made a difference to me. The relationship never matured past the first phases because i knew that I wasn't going to marry a woman that had kids, many reasons, dealing with ex's, weekends taken, etc, many things. money, lets not forget that. Your situation doesn't have some of those, that's good.
I just want you to let things go for a while, enjoy D'metrius, have time to travel, do things. don't jump from the frying pan into the damn fire.

If your looking for a sign, and it hasn't come, maybe the sign is NO. It doesn't mean that there wasn't one.....