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Ok, as you know from my posting a few weeks ago, The Anal One has taken up shooting pool. (No, I did not beat up the entire pool team) Anyway, the pool tournaments are held in a different bar each week and this week it was a country western type bar.
So the pool teams show up and starts playing. Half way through, there is this tall black guy with dyed yellow hair, 15 braclets on each arm, that shows up and is VERY LOUD and OBNOXIOUS. Standing around, running his mouth, getting in the way of pool players, grabbing them on the ass when they bend over, etc... He would actually set his water bottle ON THE TABLE while talking to some old fag hags. He would prop his feet up on the table and sit on the corners, etc... about 4 people from the other team complained about it to the manager. So anyway, I was playing my game and I walk up and he has his ass hanging over the side of the table on the green felt. I say "Can you move?" He looks at me and says "When you ask me to do something, you better end it with Please Sir." I looked at him, set my stick down and stepped right up into his face and said "I am not asking you to do anything, I am telling you to move and I won't tell you a second time." He was just speechless, eyes big as saucers. He goes " I don't like you at all." So I step closer, forcing him to step back to keep me from bumping into him and I say "Well thank God I don't care whether or not some Dennis Rodman wannabe likes me or not." The only reply he can come up with is "Dennis Rodman? I do everything better than Dennis Rodman." At this point some short hairy 40 year old man comes over (his friend) and leads him away, they are talking and looking over at me, which I don't pay any attention.
So the games end, everyone is saying goodbye, heading out the door, I am at my car, when the DennisRodmanWannabe walks up. This time he tries the tactic I used of getting in my face to talk. Poking his finger into my chest, and then he shoved me. Big mistake. I decided then and there I was going to beat his ass. I didn't have enough room to throw a punch at his head so while he was running his mouth about "yo punk ass this and yo punk ass that.." I rammed my left fist into his right side and kidney area as hard as I could. He doubled over and staggered backwards, I stepped forward and swung my forearm around and caught him dead in the jaw with my elbow and upper forarm.
*POP* goes his jaw.
*THUMP-JINGLE-JANGLE* goes his body and braclets on the pavement.
Then someone grabs me from behind in a bearhug pinning my arms to my sides so I can't move. I see from the reflection in my car window it is that short hairy man. I don't even think about it and whip my head backwards and there is this warm Splat! on the back of my neck and hair. My first thought was "the son of a bitch spit in my hair. I am REALLY going to whip that ass now." He turns loose and I turn around and swing with murderous intentions. In midswing I see him cupping both hands over his nose, blood running from the bottom, but too late. I hit his cupped hands full force, plowing them back into nose.
*SNAP* Goes either his fingers or his nose or both
*SQUIRT* Goes his blood on my shirt
*AWWWW SHIT!* Goes Mr. Anal knowing that Tide isn't going to take it out.
He hit the ground like a bag of trash and then I was over on that black guy again who was getting up. I had both hands wrapped in the front of his shirt, shaking him and snatching him around, laying the smack down on his tie dyed head. "You got something else to say? What a punk. The real Dennis Rodman could have fought better than this. You want some more? Hey Princess, think you can handle more?" My friends and the bar owner came over pulled me off. I just left and came home. I am so pissed. Still. What assholes. I imagine they are going to call the police or something.
Whatever. I am still disgusted by the fact that the others blood went in my hair and down my neck.
So the pool teams show up and starts playing. Half way through, there is this tall black guy with dyed yellow hair, 15 braclets on each arm, that shows up and is VERY LOUD and OBNOXIOUS. Standing around, running his mouth, getting in the way of pool players, grabbing them on the ass when they bend over, etc... He would actually set his water bottle ON THE TABLE while talking to some old fag hags. He would prop his feet up on the table and sit on the corners, etc... about 4 people from the other team complained about it to the manager. So anyway, I was playing my game and I walk up and he has his ass hanging over the side of the table on the green felt. I say "Can you move?" He looks at me and says "When you ask me to do something, you better end it with Please Sir." I looked at him, set my stick down and stepped right up into his face and said "I am not asking you to do anything, I am telling you to move and I won't tell you a second time." He was just speechless, eyes big as saucers. He goes " I don't like you at all." So I step closer, forcing him to step back to keep me from bumping into him and I say "Well thank God I don't care whether or not some Dennis Rodman wannabe likes me or not." The only reply he can come up with is "Dennis Rodman? I do everything better than Dennis Rodman." At this point some short hairy 40 year old man comes over (his friend) and leads him away, they are talking and looking over at me, which I don't pay any attention.
So the games end, everyone is saying goodbye, heading out the door, I am at my car, when the DennisRodmanWannabe walks up. This time he tries the tactic I used of getting in my face to talk. Poking his finger into my chest, and then he shoved me. Big mistake. I decided then and there I was going to beat his ass. I didn't have enough room to throw a punch at his head so while he was running his mouth about "yo punk ass this and yo punk ass that.." I rammed my left fist into his right side and kidney area as hard as I could. He doubled over and staggered backwards, I stepped forward and swung my forearm around and caught him dead in the jaw with my elbow and upper forarm.
*POP* goes his jaw.
*THUMP-JINGLE-JANGLE* goes his body and braclets on the pavement.
Then someone grabs me from behind in a bearhug pinning my arms to my sides so I can't move. I see from the reflection in my car window it is that short hairy man. I don't even think about it and whip my head backwards and there is this warm Splat! on the back of my neck and hair. My first thought was "the son of a bitch spit in my hair. I am REALLY going to whip that ass now." He turns loose and I turn around and swing with murderous intentions. In midswing I see him cupping both hands over his nose, blood running from the bottom, but too late. I hit his cupped hands full force, plowing them back into nose.
*SNAP* Goes either his fingers or his nose or both
*SQUIRT* Goes his blood on my shirt
*AWWWW SHIT!* Goes Mr. Anal knowing that Tide isn't going to take it out.
He hit the ground like a bag of trash and then I was over on that black guy again who was getting up. I had both hands wrapped in the front of his shirt, shaking him and snatching him around, laying the smack down on his tie dyed head. "You got something else to say? What a punk. The real Dennis Rodman could have fought better than this. You want some more? Hey Princess, think you can handle more?" My friends and the bar owner came over pulled me off. I just left and came home. I am so pissed. Still. What assholes. I imagine they are going to call the police or something.
Whatever. I am still disgusted by the fact that the others blood went in my hair and down my neck.
)
I dont know why that was a funny story... but it was. 
