I was herding sheep today

[satanic goatslayer]

and I came across some useless heathens hanging about drinking beer and throwing their fucking cans on the ground. My sheep will eat cans, so that wasn't very polite of them to do in my herding region.

I walked over to the oldest one and shoved my gauntlet-sheathed fist down his throat, grabbed his uvula, yanked the goddamned thing out and stomped him with my cork boots until his brain oozed from his ears.

One of the younger girls tried to run, so I tripped her and broke her legs with a crowbar, then kicked her lungs out.

Her friend began to scream so I pulled my knife from my toolbelt, took aim and threw it through her throat. Blood came out when I pulled the knife from her throat, but I was wearing my sheep-herding overalls so I wasn't too concerned.

The last one was a geeky little burnout. He looked full of angst, leading me to the conclusion that he felt like dying today. Fine, I shoved a sharp stick through the gut of the mongrel and tossed his body aside for the sheep to eat.

Fertile soil, indeed.

 

[GinNJuice]

SG's tool belt...... Don't leave home without it!

 

[supersizeme]

how come no one ever gets sodomized in these tales? it's hard for me to believe that toothless has absolutely no libido whatsoever.

 

[satanic goatslayer]

Although rape isn't really my scene, I do enjoy giving the odd violation with a tire iron/piece of rebar/spear. I wasn't feeling too energetic today though.

Toothless was castrated, last I heard.

 

[Test boy]

and I came across some useless heathens hanging about drinking beer and throwing their fucking cans on the ground. My sheep will eat cans, so that wasn't very polite of them to do in my herding region.

I walked over to the oldest one and shoved my gauntlet-sheathed fist down his throat, grabbed his uvula, yanked the goddamned thing out and stomped him with my cork boots until his brain oozed from his ears.

One of the younger girls tried to run, so I tripped her and broke her legs with a crowbar, then kicked her lungs out.

Her friend began to scream so I pulled my knife from my toolbelt, took aim and threw it through her throat. Blood came out when I pulled the knife from her throat, but I was wearing my sheep-herding overalls so I wasn't too concerned.

The last one was a geeky little burnout. He looked full of angst, leading me to the conclusion that he felt like dying today. Fine, I shoved a sharp stick through the gut of the mongrel and tossed his body aside for the sheep to eat.

Fertile soil, indeed.

NICE WORK SG.

 

[Kryp2o]

I wasn't feeling too energetic today though.

Take two tabs of PPA, drink a large iron kettle full of coffee and kill someone in the morning.

 

[satanic goatslayer]

Sound advice if I've ever heard any.

I'd substitute PCP for the PPA though.

 

[Kryp2o]

Sound advice if I've ever heard any.

I'd substitute PCP for the PPA though.

Even better, thank you sir.

 

[THeMaCHinE]

Sounds like a good day's work... Where is toothless these days?

 

[Liberator]

Goatslayer

have you ever read the Necronomicron?

 

[satanic goatslayer]

Toothless has been avoiding me ever since that game of euchre where I lost and tried to slit his wrists and throat with the playing cards.

Liberator - No.

 

[Sassy69]

SG - You are a being who has great aim (ability to grab a uvula) and also well-prepared. Were you a boy scout?

 

[satanic goatslayer]

I was raised in a tribal family, where our main offensive strategy was the uvula grab.

 

[Laserdude]

Now make sure you have enough condoms for all of your sheep and you will be fine S.G.

 

[Liberator]

have you ever considered mutilating corpses and making toothless a new jaw line and set of teeth?

im sure he'd appreciate it

 

[Tha One CrumCake]

Bump.

 

[HappyScrappy]

herding sheep?
yeah, I was doing something like that.
more like "hurting sheep."

 

[Tha One CrumCake]

Bump.