drummerbuilder
New member
I’m not sure what to think about this situation. On the one hand, my girlfriend is by far my best friend. I totally trust her, we have common interests, she has a great sense of humor. We’ve been together for almost three and a half years, except for a couple of three month interludes that have occurred in the last fifteen months. The problem is our sex life – rather lack of. And I’m completely ashamed to admit that the problem is coming from my end. For lack of a better way of describing it, I almost just feel like that “spark” has been lost somehow. I love this girl so much, I think about spending the rest of my life with her at times. She’s got a lot going for her, good family, pretty, will soon be an RN. My family loves her, and my fathers wife has even told me that she thought after she met her that I would end up marrying her. She cares about me a lot as well. We still spend a lot of time together, but our sex life has been practically nil for more than a year. Seriously, I think I might be able to count on two hands the number of times we’ve done it in the last year - and that counts a two week vacation together that we took in the summertime. We usually sleep in the same bed at least once per week, maybe more. I thought for awhile that maybe I just had low testosterone levels or something because I’ve had a little bit more “off” time recently, but I now know that can’t be the case. I still get hard-ons when I’m sleeping or if I’m just “with myself,” if you know what I mean. When I’m around her though, my sexual feelings go completely out the window. I love just sitting with her, or touching her in an intimate, but non-sexual way. Maybe I’ve just grown TOO comfortable with her (?). Our sexual chemistry wasn’t always this poor, but I knew from the beginning that it wasn’t as strong as some other relationships that I have had. When we first got together, we were doing it all the time. And since I have known her as well, I was with somebody else for about six months. The sex with this other girl was fantastic, but I knew we weren’t right together. With my girlfriend, I feel “right” about being with her, but this problem doesn’t seem to be getting any better – its getting worse. Am I just totally fucked up in the head? I swear to you, you would look at this girl and wonder what the hell I am thinking. She tall, trim, athletic looking, blond hair, cute. And I just don’t want to do her for some reason. She means the world to me, but I’m starting to get seriously concerned about how compatible we really are together if my feelings for her aren’t sexual. I don’t want to break up with her because it would mean losing my best friend, and this is really the only problem we have – but I would consider it a big one. She has been totally understanding with me and is not going to leave me or anything, but I know this girl is unsatisfied with this aspect of the relationship. Any advice?